


A Gem Like You

by Watcheronthewall2



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Periven, Stevidot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-05-09 01:20:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 164,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Watcheronthewall2/pseuds/Watcheronthewall2
Summary: This is an older StevenXPeridot story set after Gem Drill. Peridot struggles to find her place on Earth. Steven tries to hold onto his humanity despite being half gem. But the arrival of a homeworld gem forces them to see that peace and love don't belong only to the planet Earth. Facing down the Diamonds? It will take unlikely friends, an indomitable love, and one feisty fusion.





	1. Snow Day

**Author's Note:**

> For clarification this is an older Steven X Peridot story. I really love these guys together and there is a serious lack of good fanfic on them. The story is set after Gem Drill except with Steven being older (Age: 18) during these events. If you like it or something stands out to you feel free to drop a review. I plan on this thing being an epic when I'm done so if you like long stories without the padding then I think you'll enjoy the ride and I'd love to have you along. I release new chapters roughly every 2 weeks. Anyway enough of that. All Aboard the S.S. Stevidot! Keep your touch stumps and gravity connectors on deck at all times, and most importantly enjoy.

Steven sifted through the pantry. The clanking of soup cans and crinkling of chip bags disguised the soft pitter patter of feet behind his back. The Gems had left on a mission not even a half hour ago, and he was becoming peckish. His hand seized what he had been looking for. Success! He pulled out his blueberry blast granola bar for inspection. On the cover was a blueberry that was being launched into space by an impractical looking slingshot. _I know how that feels. Well...almost._ The bar had been tucked away all this time hiding from the mighty jaws of the voracious Amethyst. He ripped the package open and took the first bite. Steven turned around towards the couch where Peridot had just been sitting. She was gone. Her tablet too. He was about to look around for her when he heard her familiar nasally voice. It almost always carried something absurd or ridiculous, and it still managed to put a smile on his face.

"Steven. This isn't rain. Oh, my stars! It must be some new weapon from homeworld." Peridot was at the window, and she dived down taking cover behind the window seat. "Yellow Diamond." She added, her voice quivering with fear. Steven did his best to restrain the urge to chuckle or smile. He wasn't sure what it was that had her so upset, but Peridot was prone to theatrics, so it was probably nothing. However, he was sure that dismissing it entirely would only serve to upset her further. He approached the window and took another bite of his granola bar. Peridot was aghast at how casually he had strolled over. They were under attack for diamond sake! Steven couldn't help but smile as two small hands grabbed his right hand and tugged.

"Steven! Get down!" Peridot hissed.

Steven sat down, his back against the window seat. He stretched his legs out and took another bite of his snack. Peridot peered over the seat checking to make sure their position was secure.

"Peridot?"

"Yes?" She asked without turning to him. Her eyes scanned the sky outside as if any minute a light cannon beam would cut through the clouds.

"It's snow," Steven replied. He put his hand on her shoulder.

She lowered herself back down and stared at him. "Another Earth thing? Not a weapon?"

"Not a weapon. Promise. Think of it as…" He put a finger to his chin. "The cold version of rain. When it's cold, the rain turns to snow and falls almost the same way. It tends to clump together on the ground, and it stays until it melts."

Peridot sat down beside him and picked up her tablet. She typed something into it and read for a few minutes while he finished the rest of the granola. "Oh," Peridot concluded. She set the tablet down and brought her knees up to her chest. "I'm doing a cloddy job of adjusting to Earth."

Steven stood up and offered a hand down to her, "The crystal gems have lived here forever, and they still don't get everything, but I know it won't take you very long Peridot. You're one of the smartest gems I've ever met."

Peridot smiled, and she took his hand in both of hers pulling herself to her feet, "Well I am a Peridot. It's kind of what I was made for." She wore a cocky smirk, but her eyes were hopeful. She picked up her tablet and returned to her spot on the couch while Steven threw away his granola wrapper. Peridot curled into herself looping her arms underneath her knees. She looked as if she was trying to recede into her gem. "I don't know what I was made for anymore. Earth makes everything complicated."

Steven leaned against the kitchen counter. "Hey...I think that's the point, ya know? When you served homeworld, it told you everything about your life. It told you what you wanted. What you should think. Who you were." Steven walked around the counter and sat beside the green gem. Peridot looked up at him, lost. "Who your friends were. Who you hated. Who you could love." Steven raised a hand to gesture toward the snow outside that was now falling faster, "Earth doesn't tell you anything for certain. You get to discover it all yourself, and it lets you decide. It sets you free." He smiled at her and Peridot smiled back.

She pulled her tablet into her arms and cradled it against her chest, "I like when things make sense. When it has a logical answer, a set figure. At least Pierre and Percy make sense. I've done all the calculations."

Steven chuckled, "How's the fanfiction going?"

Peridot brightened up, "It's a success! I have convinced other humans to read it, and this machine gives me statistics on them. I am happy that others are convinced of their superiority." She picked up the tablet and scrolled through her story statistics, but something made her scowl. "Grrrr, I must find a way to remove some of these reviews. My ship is more valid than any other combination! I have explained why in my author's note in chapter one. DENSE CLODS!" Peridot stabbed her finger repeatedly at the screen.

Outside the snow fell steadily. It had been getting colder these last few weeks. Steven loved winter time, especially with the Gems. He would build snowman armies with Garnet. She would summon her gauntlets which were the perfect tools to scoop up and roll a bunch of snow. He would always use his shield. Then he would sled with Amethyst, and sometimes she would shapeshift into the sled so they could get the perfect amount of control. Finally, Pearl would make the most amazing gingerbread cookies he had ever found anywhere. She put the big donut to shame. But now something was different. He would have Peridot this winter, and she had never got to do any of those things. He couldn't help but feel giddy at the idea of showing her everything she had been missing.

"Steven? Are you in a hibernation state?"

"Huh?" He turned back to face Peridot.

"Oh, you were smiling and staring out the window for a long time without moving. I thought you might be hibernating." She had given up on her attempt at deleting the reviews on her story and was now gazing up at him.

"No, that's sleep. You have to close your eyes for that to work. I was thinking about all the cool stuff I'll get to do now that its winter. It's the time of year that gets cold enough for snow to fall. The Gems and I have all kind of things we do during this time of year."

Peridot perked up, "So snow days have their own pre-approved activities like rainy days have?"

Steven tilted his head, "Uh, kind of. Well yeah actually."

The green gem bounced up and down in her seat, "Show me! I wish to conquer these snow day trials as well."

Steven laughed, "Alright, it'll be fun. It's cold in here, and it's only going to get colder, so I'm going to start a fire for us in the stove there. That's one thing we do in the winter. Are you cold?"

"Of course not." Peridot smirked and crossed her arms, "A gem's projected form adjusts to the environment around them. The vacuum of space is much colder than the current temperature." Before she could list off another fact she stopped herself and reached out toward him, her hand hovering just above his arm, "I still want you to make the fire though."

Steven nodded, "Wait right here." He stood up, "I think Amethyst has some firewood in her room." He opened the temple door to Amethyst's room, and before he entered, he looked over his shoulder. Peridot had followed him with her eyes, and when he turned around, she gave him a shy smile and a small wave. He smiled at her, and for that moment she looked almost as lost as she had sounded earlier, the whole world ground to a halt and only when he had returned would it start up again. Steven waved back and entered Amethyst's room. The door closed behind him with a thud.

He knew that Peridot was more than a capable gem. She hadn't been easy to capture, and she was persistent. That had been before she joined the crystal gems before she had called Yellow Diamond a clod to her face. Everything that she had known and lived was all over now. He would have to do more than show Peridot what winter was like. He would have to take her under his wing, make sure she felt safe enough to find her place in all of this, on earth. Steven spotted a red toy wagon next to one of the junk piles. He had no idea what that was doing there, or even where Amethyst had gotten it from, but it would make it easier to carry out the wood.

After hunting down the pile of firewood, he soon returned to the living room rolling the red wagon. Peridot put her tablet back down and observed him. He parked it next to the stove and loaded the logs into the mouth of the furnace. The green gem crawled off of the couch and was now crouched behind him taking mental notes of everything that he did. Steven lit a match and caught the starter wood on fire.

At last, when the logs began to crackle, he sat down in front of the stove, "What do you think?"

"It's fascinating," Peridot whispered. The reflection of the flames flickered in her visor. The excitement burned in her eyes like coals as she studied the fire. She was beautiful. Steven blinked. He had never noticed before or thought of it. She was a gem, and he was...something. He wasn't sure what exactly. Peridot tore her eyes away from the fire and turned her small features up to him.

Steven swallowed, "So there's other stuff people do during the winter."

Peridot sat down next to him copying his cross-legged style. She had sat close, and he could feel the corner of her hair brush against his shoulder. "Like what?"

"Well there's uh...there's uh…" Steven's eyes darted around the room frantically until they came to rest back on the fire, "Oh yeah! I know what we can do." He jumped up, and the corners of Peridot's mouth almost seemed to turn down. "When you have a fire. You can roast marshmallows. You'll like that." He went into the kitchen, "Amethyst is crazy for them so I think we should have a bag." Steven rummaged through the pantry again and found what he was looking for. Peridot watched with renewed interest as he brought the bag over with two wooden sticks. He sat down next to her giving them a little more space between each other this time.

Steven handed her one of the sticks, and she took it with both hands, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"You do this," Steven put a marshmallow on the end of her stick and then one on his. "Now you hold it out in the fire and cook it on all sides until it gets dark. Then you can eat it." He demonstrated for her and then took a bite.

Peridot held her stick out in front of her at arm's length and copied Steven's movements. When she brought it out of the fire, the marshmallow was still aflame. "Nyeh! Steven! It's on fire!" She waved the stick side to side as if she was wrestling with a corrupted gem, struggling to keep it at bay. Steven laughed and leaned over. With one sharp breath, he blew it out. Peridot narrowed her eyes at the roasted marshmallow, "Wow, thanks." She brought it to her mouth and gingerly took a bite testing its hardness with her teeth. Her eyes grew wide, "These confectionery puff rocks are amazing when heat is applied."

Steven laughed, "Yeah, they are." The pair took turns roasting marshmallows. Whenever Peridot would catch hers on fire, she would hold it up to Steven's mouth for him to blow it out. At last, when they had both made it halfway through the bag, they decided that it was enough.

Together they watched the snow fall outside, their backs against the crackling fire. After a few moments, Steven reached back and pulled out an old camera out of the red wagon. "Hey, I found something cool in Amethyst's room when I went to get the firewood." Steven held it up for Peridot to get a good look at it, "Check it out."

"A strange looking device. It has a lens. Is this some kind of surveillance equipment?" She asked.

"Well, you are sort of right. It's a camera. It takes pictures, but it doesn't upload them digitally. This one spits them out here at the bottom on a special film." Steven pointed to the horizontal opening that Peridot was now scrutinizing., "I figured we could take some pictures of this snow day or some of us."

Peridot grinned, "Yes! Another snow day activity to add to my accomplishments. What do we do?" Steven held out the camera to her. "Me?" She asked.

"Of course. I've taken pictures before. I want you to do it." Steven held the camera up to his eye, "You hold it like this, and when you see what you want to capture, you hit this button."

Peridot gasped, "Capture? I thought this tool was for data retention. It is also a containment cube?"

Steven grinned, "No, it's just a figure of speech."

Peridot took the camera in her hands, "Nyeheheh right."

"Try taking a picture of the fire. We want to remember your first one. Next time, I'll let you make it."

Peridot held the camera up to her eye and pointed it towards the stove. It clicked, and she flinched when the picture ejected. She pulled the photo out and watched the image slowly appear. She sucked in a breath, "This tool is amazing. This is like my log but with a permanent visual reference."

Steven sat back resting on his hands, "It must seem silly. Gems live for thousands of years, and humans are lucky to last for a hundred, yet we are the ones that have a tool to remind us what happened just ten or thirty years ago."

Peridot aimed the camera at him and peeked at him from around it, "I don't think it's silly. Maybe gems never had anything worth remembering." There was a click, and Steven pulled the picture out.

"You sound like a rebel." He said. He was clear in the picture, a half smile on his face. There was something in his eyes that he hadn't seen before, an intensity. He couldn't place it.

"That's me. A traitorous clod." She droned. After a moment she held out her hand and beckoned for the picture. "That's mine."

Steven smiled, "Oh alright, but you should be in one too. Let's get both of us. It's called a selfie." He took the camera and turned it backward, "Now you need to get in the shot with me. Come close, so it has both of us and smile."

Peridot came over and leaned into him pressing her arm against his. Steven angled the lens toward them. Her cheek pushed up against his as she brought their faces close and it was surprisingly soft. The other gems could alter their appearance. It wasn't like Peridot couldn't do the same. He smiled for the camera and could feel Peridot's cheeks rise against his to do the same. There was a click, and the camera spat out the photo. He held it up waiting for it to come together. Steven had given a pleasant smile. He had always been photogenic. He couldn't help but notice Peridot. She was smiling, but it wasn't at the camera. She was smiling at him. Her eyes were gazing to the side.

"That came out great!" Peridot beamed.

"Yeah...it did," Steven said taking one last look at it before placing it in her outstretched hand.

Peridot placed the picture on top of the stack that was now starting to grow. She held them in both her hands and rocked side to side smiling down at them. With a thumb, she rubbed the photo of both of them gently as if the image might disappear the same way that it had appeared.

"I know something that you're missing. You're going to need it for the winter trials." Steven said.

"I must have it." Peridot answered suddenly, "What is it?"

"Winter clothes. During the winter people put on thicker clothes and coats to keep them warm when they aren't around fires. I know you don't get cold, but you can look the part. Even Pearl has her Christmas scarf she likes to wear during this time of year and Amethyst has her earmuffs."

"Of course. A new uniform. I could change this?" She pointed to her v-neck outfit.

"I had something else in mind. I have a blue sweater with stars on it. I've outgrown it, but I bet you would fit in it perfectly. I think it would look great."

"Finally! I was wondering where I would put the star. Now I get to have a bunch of stars! Nyeheheh. How many? More than the other clods?" Peridot leaped up and was waiting for Steven to show her.

He stood up and chuckled, "Yeah. It does have more than all of them. I'll show you." He made his way up the stairs. The small green gem followed closely behind giggling with anticipation. Steven went to his closet and flipped through his t-shirts. It must be toward the back. He hadn't worn it in a long time. He moved his clothes to one side and reached toward the back. The sweater was still there, beside it was his pink puffer jacket.

Peridot held her hands together in front of her chest as if to silently clap, "It's perfect. The number of stars on this personal temperature optimizer will certainly prove that I am the most loyal!"

"Let's see if it fits first."

Peridot held the sweater in her hands making jittery squeals of excitement. She held it above her head, and he watched her hips wiggle from side to side as she put it on. To Steven's surprise, her hair offered no resistance as she popped her head through. It snapped into its previous pointy form instantly. "So? How do I look?"

Steven's throat went dry again. Even though Peridot didn't know the first thing about modeling a piece of clothing, she looked cute standing there waiting for his verdict. The sweater was a bit baggy on her, and the sleeves hung a few inches over her wrists, but it only served to make it that much more endearing. She scrunched her lips together.

"You better not call me cute again." She warned.

"I was going to say...adorable," Steven said.

Peridot groaned, "I didn't think it could get worse."

"What? That's not a bad thing."

"Yes, it is. I don't want to be cute. Young doglings are cute." She grumbled.

"Well then, what do you want to be?" Steven asked.

Peridot turned her eyes up in thought for a moment and then replied, "Imposing. Profound! Extraordinary!"

He put his hands on her shoulders, "You are extraordinary Peridot."

"You're just saying that." She said. She looked down and adjusted her sleeves so that her hands poked through.

Steven smiled awkwardly, "Can't you be both? Adorably imposing?"

"Ugh, I suppose. It is technically a compliment after all." She held her face up to him, holding her head to the side with a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. The way she looked at him froze him in place. A gleam of something playful flashed across her eyes, and there was something else there too. A hint of submission. She stood by to react to him. All day it had been there hiding in the background, but it was plain to him now. Steven couldn't believe he hadn't caught it until now. Peridot had always been a bit bossy. She tried to take charge of every mission they had gone on since she arrived. The other gems were barely able to control her, and she rarely listened to them or their instruction. But she hadn't acted that way with him.

Steven scratched the back of his head, "You're all dressed to go outside and see the snow. When the gems get back, I can show you a bunch of stuff we do outside in the winter. For now, I figured you at least want to get used to it before they get here."

Peridot nodded her head. She let him take her hand, lead her down the stairs, and when he stepped through the door and onto the deck, she followed. It was beautiful. A small layer of white fluff covered everything. The ground crunched underneath her feet. She lifted one foot up and stomped down a few times to make the crunch sound again, giggling when it worked.

"Pretty cool huh?" Steven asked.

"This is even better than the rain! Prettier too." She wobbled over to the railing. Peridot put her hands on the railing sinking her fingertips into the slush with a childish grin. Steven appeared beside her, and both of them took in the view in silence. The temple had always felt disconnected from the rest of the town, but now a more profound peace had settled over everything.

"Steven?" Peridot asked. The sound of her voice cleared the silence as if it was the only sound made for miles.

He turned to her to answer but before he could Peridot grabbed both of his arms and pulled the two of them close. She was standing on the tip of her toes so that their faces were inches apart. He closed his eyes expecting the crash of the gem's lips against his own. Her small nose nudged into his and after a few moments, he opened his eyes. Their lips hadn't touched. The only thing between them was a little cloud of smoke from their breath intermingling. Peridot stared back at him. She had removed her visor, and now only her blue eyes twinkled back at him, they were the same color as her sweater. She had kept her eyes open all this time. In them, Steven recognized the same look she had given him back in his bedroom. Her cheeks turned a dark green, and she pulled away.

"I'm sorry...I saw Pierre do this when he wanted to show someone they were special to him." She stammered.

Steven couldn't laugh. As hilarious as Peridot's attempt at kissing was, he could tell that everything hinged on his next reaction to her. He had never seen her be more sincere.

He smiled, "You don't have to apologize. It's called kissing. You had everything right except one thing. You have to put your lips on theirs." Steven wrapped his arms around her waist. Peridot's blue eyes blinked up at him, and she brought her hands up to his neck. She leaned back into his arms as if to surrender entirely to his wishes. He wasn't sure what it was about the way she was acting, but he felt a raw energy surge through him every time she did. He leaned in, and their faces hovered near each other before he pressed his lips against Peridot's. She didn't pull away but instead pushed her lips even harder against his own. Her lips felt warm against the contrast of the cold air around them. His whole body flushed with heat, and he half expected for them to be surrounded in one of his bubbles when he finally opened his eyes. It felt like a spark had jumped between the two of them. Steven had to pull away for a breath. When their lips parted, Peridot moved with him a few inches as if whatever had drawn her to him was still coaxing her.

"That was much better." She said bringing a few fingers up to her lips.

"What did that mean for you?" Steven asked.

Peridot pushed the sleeves of her sweater up that had fallen over her hands, "You're special to me. Like my Diamond was. But you treat me better, and I have fun with you." She put a hand on her other arm, "I could be your Peridot just as I was Yellow Diamonds. If you will accept me."

Steven rested against the railing of the deck. He had to hold onto something, or he would float away. No one had ever spoken to him like she was now. It felt intoxicating. _His Peridot._ His heart skipped a beat at the words. The way she had looked at him was burned into his mind; he didn't need to see her to know that she was looking at him now like that again. But it felt different to him, and he had a feeling that it was unusual for Peridot too. She was carrying a diamond sized hole in her heart.

"Do you want to replace Yellow Diamond with me? Is that what you're looking for? Someone to tell you what to do? Give you orders?" He asked.

"No Steven...that's not it." She replied. She whimpered struggling for the right words when she needed them the most.

"Then what is it?!" He shouted.

Peridot shrunk away and clasped her hands together, the bottom of her lip trembling, she was on the verge of tears, "Because you are the only thing on this planet that always makes sense to me."

Steven's features suddenly relaxed, "Peridot…"

"You don't feel the same." She tried to finish for him. She crossed her arms.

He put a hand on her arm, "No...I do feel the same Peridot…"

Despite what he had said or his touch she took a moment to process the words as if running them through a special Peridot scanner in her head. When she got the results back, she suddenly gasped and jerked back. She looked down at his hand on her arm and then back up at him confused. She hadn't been prepared for that answer, "You…"

Behind them, the warp pad sent out a beam of light and a blast of sound. The gems were back. With a flick of her hand, Peridot put her visor back on. The bottom covered part of a light green blush, the heat leaving her cheeks. Her words were still circling in Steven's head. He wondered if the gems would ever get to see the Peridot he had just met. Those blue eyes had offered him loyalty higher than she had ever provided to any Diamond. Could he even handle that? What had she really offered him?

"You're special to me too, Peridot. I just want you to like me for the right reasons." Steven said in a low tone.

Peridot raised her fists up towards the door shaking them and growled as if it would keep the other gems at bay while she explained herself thoroughly. She spun back around to him, her face falling at the realization that it wouldn't happen. She stood trapped between the moment with him and the next one that lie behind the door at her back. Peridot bit the side of her lip, "We can talk later?"

Steven nodded.

"Steeeeeeeeee-maaaaaaaan, we're back bro. Where you at?"


	2. Stronger Than a Diamond

Steven entered the house, but Peridot didn't join him. Amethyst was warming her hands by the fire, a giant lumpy sack beside her. Garnet was saying something low to Pearl near the bar of the kitchen.

"Playing Santa Claus this year Amethyst?" Steven asked.

Amethyst shapeshifted into a purple tinted Santa Claus complete with dark shades. She slung the sack over her shoulder and waddled over to him. "Ho Ho Ho there Steven, you've been a bad boy this year, so I got you a bunch of robot scrap." she boomed in a cheery sing-song voice. He grinned but to his surprise when she sat the bag in front of him the top opened to show that it was indeed filled with metal and broken electronic parts.

"Does this mean I'm not getting Lonely Blade IX for Christmas?" Steven asked before sticking his hand in the bag and pushing circuit boards and metal plating around, "Where did you get all this?"

"It was the prime kindergarten that set off the sensor. A few of these funny looking drones were crawling around in there with these cool spider legs. It was kind of boring actually, because they didn't have any weapons built in. They tried to escape instead, but I rounded them up." Amethyst made a whipping motion with her hand, "Then I put the squeeze on them and they ended up like this. I was going to make a new pile using this as a foundation, but Garnet suggested that maybe Peridot could get some use out of the scraps."

Garnet hearing her name walked over with Pearl beside her. "Peridot could also take a look at these drones and tell us what they are for and what they were doing," Garnet said.

Pearl was eyeing the stove that was still burning wood, "I didn't know you were cold Steven or I would have started a fire before we left."

Steven looked over his shoulder. Peridot was still standing on the deck gazing out toward the ocean as if she was a maiden waiting for her long lost lover to return. He imagined she didn't feel like facing the gems right now. "No, it's fine. I wasn't when you all left but it started snowing, and I wanted to show Peridot how to make a fire. She doesn't know what winter is like so I thought I would show her."

Amethyst had returned to the fireplace still in Santa shape. She loaded up one of the wooden sticks with the marshmallows he and Peridot had left behind. "Maybe we can go sledding when there's more snow," Amethyst said with her mouth full.

"That's what I was thinking. We could show Peridot how to too. We have to wait until the big hill is completely covered. That one year we did it too early and got completely covered in mud and dirty snow."

"Hey, that was fun." She replied.

Pearl had moved into the kitchen and was now setting out things to make for dinner. She had promised to make one of her signature casseroles. For someone who didn't like eating, Pearl was a fantastic cook. Steven was grateful for it. He always thought it made more sense for Amethyst to be the gem with the culinary skills, she actually ate things. The problem is that Amethyst wasn't a picky eater and could throw anything together. Thinking of one of her concoctions was almost enough to make him barf. Pearl liked details and learning how things come together to create something great.

"So you didn't need me on this one huh?" Steven asked Garnet. He had said that line to her many times before, but this time it didn't carry a tinge of disappointment.

"Nope. You had something more important to do." She said.

Steven tried to hide his surprise. Had she known what would happen between him and Peridot today? Is that why she had told him they could handle it fine without him? Garnet's face was as stony as ever though; he wouldn't get one drop of knowledge from it. Her shades gleamed as if to tease him, that curved slice of glass had hidden many secrets over the years.

"Like what?" Steven asked trying to sound casual, pretending that something hadn't required his attention.

"Peridot is still new to Earth. It wouldn't be good to leave her all alone here." Garnet stated plainly. Steven could almost see the two individual gems in Garnet at times. Sapphire must be toying with him, trying to guide him along without tampering with his future. He could almost imagine a cheeky smile from ruby forming on Garnet's face, but there was nothing. "Make sure Peridot takes a look at these parts." She gave him a thumbs up and retired to her room in the temple.

The door behind Steven opened and then closed. Amethyst was back to her regular shape again, and she turned around to greet Peridot, "Heeeeey P-dot. I'm digging the sweater."

"Gee thanks," Peridot replied.

Pearl looked up from a cookbook,"That's Steven's sweater." She said rather pointedly.

Peridot wrinkled her brow.

"It's alright, I've outgrown it. I thought it would look nice on her." Steven interjected.

"Isn't it a little too big for her?" Pearl asked.

"Naahhhh I think it looks good girl. Keep it," Amethyst said.

Peridot came up to Steven's side, but the moment she caught sight of the scrap parts she gasped with all of the glee of a child on Christmas day, "Is that a robonoid?" Before anyone could answer her, she dived into the bag, almost climbing into it.

"Uh, I don't think so? It didn't goo me when I smashed it." Amethyst said.

"Not all robonoids carry repair gel," An irritated voice called out from inside the bag. There was also something about clod, but Steven hadn't caught the rest. He liked to see her go to work like this. If he could see her face now, he knew that her eyes would be squinted in concentration and darting from one thing to the next as if she was assembling an entire device inside her head before she actually built it. Peridot came up for air like a diver resurfacing after finding treasure. She held out a metal plated box that was split in half, on one side he could see ports where tubes had once connected to it, "This is an injector site probe's central processor, but it was installed after the robonoid was created."

"So that means…" Steven said.

This time Peridot was more than happy to explain as if providing a much-needed service, "All robonoids are created, like gems, with a purpose. At the time they are made they are equipped with everything to complete their tasks which tend to be small in scope. But someone has taken a robonoid and opened it up and then added extra features. I won't know what these drones were meant to do until I have some more time but this is rarely done."

The suspicious look that Amethyst was pointing between the two of them worried Steven. He clasped a hand on the smaller gem's shoulder, "Well done Peridot." If Garnet had said to him that he was the most powerful warrior she had ever seen, it wouldn't have measured up to how the small green gem was looking at him now. "You should take a look at the drones. I think Pearl would appreciate my help in the kitchen." Peridot's spirit fell as if dropped from the same height that she had just soared to but shaking off the landing she noticed what Steven had. Amethyst was still watching their interaction with interest.

"Of course. None of you CLODS would understand any of it anyway!" She broadcasted to the room. Amethyst rolled her eyes and turned over on her side settling in for an afternoon nap next to the fire.

Pearl turned her nose up, "I would absolutely love your help, Steven. No one expects you to know anything about homeworld technology."

Peridot wore a pained expression, but she smiled when Steven winked at her. He would have loved to stay and watch Peridot nerd out some more, but Amethyst had a good instinct for opportunities to tease him. If that was a talent that was inborn in all sisters, then Amethyst had turned it into a mastered skill. Steven needed time to sort out his own feelings regarding Peridot without Amethyst singing K.I.S.S.I.N.G. He would tell the other gems when the time was right and when he was more secure in exactly what he was feeling.

"So, how can I help?" He asked Pearl.

By the end of the day, Peridot was surrounded by robot parts in the middle of the living room. She had moved the table so that she had an open space to work in. After Steven ate dinner, Pearl went to her room. Amethyst was still napping on the floor strangely undisturbed by Peridot working close by. He would have liked a moment to talk to Peridot alone, but he wouldn't attempt such a private conversation with her feet away.

Instead, Steven went upstairs to his room and started the first season of Dogcopter. The movies had been such a hit that the creators had decided to make a tv series: The Adventures of Dogcopter. The house was warm; he had heard Peridot add another log to the fire. The crackling of wood was its own type of white noise. Soon he felt the weight of his full stomach making him sink deeper into the bed. Outside his window, the snow continued to fall. What was once a familiar view was now foreign. The house was adrift, and his eyes fell shut like he was being rocked by the sea gently to sleep.

* * *

Steven felt a pressure on his waist, then two smaller ones on his chest. His eyes snapped open meeting Peridot's blue eyes. He could make out her features by the dim light of the moon reflecting off the white ground outside. The green gem was straddling him, and before she had noticed he was awake, she had been looking him over.

"Good, you're awake. I wasn't sure what else I needed to do to break the sleep state."

Steven could only hope that Peridot could not see him as clearly in the dark as he could her. He was sure that his face had turned a deeper shade of red than even ruby. "What did you try before this?" He sputtered.

Peridot sat up and crossed her arms looking down at him, "The internet database said that you take the human by the arm and shake firmly. I did that, but it didn't work. Maybe I didn't shake hard enough. I didn't want to hurt you. Gems are vulnerable when they are regenerating."

"Thanks, Peri." He didn't have it in him to correct her on this especially given her seating arrangement. He preferred her sentiment rather than the truth.

She put her hands together in a prayer motion, "You will be pleased to know that I have finished my analysis on the robonoids."

"Wow, I'm impressed. That was fast." He put his hands on her legs. It sent a jolt through her all the way to the tip of her blonde hair.

Her gaze fell to his touch, and she suddenly realized how intimate their positioning was. She scrambled off of him and sat on the edge of his bed instead. Without her visor, he could plainly see the dark shade of green stain her cheeks. He sat up in bed and swung over next to her. She ran a few fingers through her hair and held her knees together. Steven knew she wanted to continue their conversation but didn't know how to start. There was a blur of orange just behind Peridot's face from the fire highlighting her features in gold. He was definitely attracted to her. Seeing her afraid to mess this up, the pull to comfort, he knew then that he wanted this.

"So tell me about her," Steven said.

Peridot was confused, "The robonoids lack gender."

He shook his head, "No, I mean tell me about Yellow Diamond."

She looked away from him toward the fireplace, "Oh."

A few moments passed, and he wasn't sure if she was going to answer him. Finally, she turned back to him and spoke, "When all gems are created, I told you they pop out of the ground with the knowledge of what they are supposed to do and how to do it. They have a function. But what I didn't tell you…" Peridot gazed into his eyes, unsure if what she was about to say would hurt him, "Is that you come out of the ground knowing your Diamond. You know what you were made for and who you were made to serve. You have a bond from creation, and it's strong."

"Like a creator and created bond?" He asked.

Peridot nodded, "I loved Yellow Diamond. She embodied efficiency and power. She was strong and intelligent. Everything I wanted to be. When I followed her orders, or orders that she had passed down through her underlings, I knew they had been expertly crafted. No flaw could be within them. It was all for a grander purpose that I was being allowed to participate in."

He chuckled sadly, "How can I hope to keep up with that?"

She took his hands in both of hers, they were delicate and small in his, made for precise movements and fitting in small crevices, "Steven, you don't have to keep up with her. You are leagues ahead."

Steven smiled and interlocked their fingers. It distracted her. It wasn't a move she had been aware of. He caught her blushing again.

"And even if you were just a clod," She continued catching her train of thought, "I'm not trying to replace her with you. You care about me in a way I've never felt before."

Peridot's blue eyes twinkled, half of her face bathed in the light of the moon, the other half illuminated in amber, "We saved Earth together. I've completed missions for Yellow Diamond before, but none of them made me feel like I did then. I was protecting something that I loved, and it loved me back. I was proud of it. You were proud of me. Yellow Diamond never complimented me the way you do. I am just an era two Peridot, but you make me feel like an Emerald."

"You are special, Peridot," Steven replied at once.

She leaned into him, "I want to be your Peridot. I want to follow you and help protect all of this. I want to see all it has to offer, but I want to do it with you. And I want to have something special with you, stronger than any Peridot to a Diamond. Please say yes. If you don't want the same just poof and bubble me now." She lamented.

Steven placed his hand on her cheek, and she melted into it. He brought their faces together and pushed a kiss on her lips. She let him, but her lips hovered near his before pushing back for another kiss. A small moan escaped from her as they parted. She opened her eyes and seemed visibly flustered at the betrayal of her own body, "I don't know why I did that."

Steven grinned, "Yes." He said.

"Even though I'm a Peridot and you are a Rose Quartz?"

"Yes."

"Even though I tried to kill you and everyone you loved?"

"Yes."

"Even if I make strange noises that I can't quite explain?"

"Especially because of that."

She threw her arms around his neck, and he almost fell over with the force of her body colliding into him. Her lips met his, and she clung to him hugging him tightly. Steven wrapped his arms around her waist, and he felt a wave of warmth hit his forehead. He opened his eyes, and he had to squint to see past the glow of Peridot's gem. She pulled back and slapped her hands over the gem shielding his eyes from the light.

"Nyeh! I don't know what is happening to me!" She probed at the gem underneath her hands with her fingers. A few rays of green escaped between her digits as she prodded. "I'm not chipped or cracked. I don't understand why I am acting so strange."

Steven chuckled, "I think you are happy Peridot. Sometimes being extremely happy makes us lose control of ourselves, like laughing. It just happens."

"I'm sorry Steven. I was trying to be serious here, and this has never happened to me before. I look like one of your light contraptions without the cotton-based cloth covering. " She puffed out her lip in a pout.

Steven moved her hands away, and she dropped them limply to her sides. She gazed up at him as he took her face in both his hands. He came close and pushed a kiss onto the gem. It felt warm against his skin but not hot. The gem started to glow like a lightbulb shining as brightly as it could on the verge of busting. It was so intense he had to close his eyes. He pulled away and opened his eyes again. The gem dimmed, and Peridot's eyes looked as if they had copied the gem's display, they fluttered back to normal.

"I really like that." She said a little breathless.

"I noticed," Steven said.

Peridot's gem went out, and she sighed in relief, "Well at least you won't be using me to see at night."

"I'm awake now so might as well stay up a bit with you." He said.

"I didn't want to interrupt your regeneration cycle, but I didn't know when we would get another chance to talk in private without distractions."

"You want any hot cocoa?" Steven asked standing up taking the stairs down to the living room.

"What's that?" Peridot inquired following him down.

"Only the most amazing drink in the world when it gets cold. To pass the winter trials you have to drink at least one cup." He flipped on the light switch for the kitchen and searched the pantry for the supplies and the fridge for the milk.

Peridot sat on one of the bar stools across from him, her feet dangling off the seat. She watched him make two cups of cocoa and put in smaller marshmallows. He winked at her while he made them and she smiled back shyly. He slid the cup across the counter over to her, and she took it in both of her hands smelling the chocolate aroma. "What is that thing you do with your eye?"

Steven took a sip of his cocoa, "You mean winking?"

Peridot winked at him, "This. You've done that to me, and I like it but what is it?"

He chuckled, "Well it can mean a lot of different things, but usually it means you are sharing something with someone else. Like a moment, or you know something that only you share with that person, and no one else knows. It can also be for affection."

Peridot leaned forward taking a large gulp from her cup, "Why do you do it?"

"I want you to know we are sharing something. We have something special. It's only between you and me."

"So like before when we tricked Amethyst?" She asked.

"Yeah just like that."

Peridot winked at him again, and they both laughed.

"So tell me about what the great and lovable Peridot has found out about the robonoids," Steven said.

"The most interesting thing," She began after turning her cup up again for another gulp. "The robonoids were custom made. They have a whole suite of tools and features, unlike any other machines I've seen before. They have a better AI than the ones I was working with, and they have live feeds both audio and visual back to their controller who can remotely control them."

She downed the rest of the chocolate drink and licked her lips, "So they have an interstellar transmitter and remote control suite that can be accessed even when the host isn't on the same planet. A device that can scan for suitable sites to place kindergartens and test mineral samples. They also can be fired from space and plating that can survive atmospheric entry."

"That sounds pretty serious."

"It is. Whoever is using these devices knows a lot about robonoids and their construction. They are even programmed to delete their local memory banks if threatened with destruction, so I don't know why they were here or who is controlling them. My idea though is that its Yellow Diamond. She's sent someone to track me down or to replace me in completing the mission here."

"We'll find out who it is and stop them."

"They could be here to shatter me." Peridot said squeezing the empty cup between her hands, "Or you."

"I won't let that happen," Steven said.

Peridot went over to the fireplace moving through the scrap parts that littered the floor like Pearl dancing through her fountains or Amethyst swimming through her junk piles. Steven took their glasses and cleaned them. "We are going to have to see about adding a room in the temple for you. It would give you space to work," He said.

Peridot added another log to the fire. She poked the wood around inside with the fire poker. She lingered there longer than she needed to until the prodding of the wood was superfluous. Her eyes were locked on the open mouth of the furnace, and finally, she said, "But I like being here with you."

He came around the counter to join her and stumbled his way through the parts. When he got close, she took his arm to help stabilize him before he fell over completely, "I'm not trying to send you away. I want you to be comfortable here."

She hadn't let go of his arm, "I am comfortable, I enjoy working when you are in my general radius, you don't even make much noise."

Steven smirked, "I was sleeping."

Peridot seemed to tug on his arm.

"You can stay here with me as long as you want." He said.

She hugged him and made a note of approval.

Both of them sat down together near the fire. Steven laid down and put his head in Peridot's lap. She looked down at him, and he looked back up at her.

"I like you there." She said matter-of-factly

Steven laughed to her confusion.

"What?"

"Most people aren't as open as you are when they think something," Steven said.

"That seems stupid. How will you know something if I don't report it? I want you to repeat the things I like," Her brows knitted together in concentration, "But now that you mention it I don't remember you giving me your preferences."

"Uh, I don't know. It's just a thing humans do with each other. You find out what someone else likes by trying it on them and then gauging their reaction."

Peridot eyed him with curiosity, "You mean you want me to experiment on you?"

"No," He answered quickly. "I think I prefer your way. It's much easier."

Peridot beamed, "I have found a superior method."

"I don't think everyone would like it, but it fits you, Peridot. I know what you mean when you say stuff like that but other people wouldn't." He gazed up at her to see if she understood.

Peridot winked at him.


	3. A Somber Duet

The fresh smell of coffee beans filled Steven's nose. It was like the vapor from the old cartoons his dad had watched as a kid. It floated around the room dancing with an energy that he craved to have. When it noticed him it shook him awake, telling him to have just one cup, maybe two. He pried his eyes open and wiped at them with his fingers. The fireplace was still burning, and the red wagon had been filled with more wood while he had been sleeping. Garnet was leaning over him, Sapphire's smile was on her face. It was the humoring smile of a mother who understood why you had done something stupid. The smile that held the patience of a thousand moms.

"Need coffee…" He groaned rubbing his head and then combing his hair back with his fingers. He looked around but didn't see any sign of Peridot. He had stayed up late with her talking. They covered all types of topics, about Earth, about homeworld, and the gem that might be tracking them down using advanced robonoid technology, the usual. He hadn't recalled when he had fallen asleep, but the memory of how much more comfortable she was compared to the floor was all he could think of.

"I knew you would. It's already made, get up and get some."

Steven sat up in time to see the temple door burst open. In the threshold, Amethyst stood, sled in hand wearing ski goggles and a green beanie with a Christmas star.

"Wake up little man, let's roll! We gotta tear up that hill before anyone gets to it first."

He waved a hand in her direction, "Not so little anymore, but I'm up."

Amethyst gave him a playful shove in the chest as she strolled by him. He fell back to the floor, "Nah uh." She stuck her tongue out at him and walked out the door. Garnet left with her, and it was only him and Pearl. She was in the kitchen. She had already made him a cup of coffee, and she offered it to him when he plopped down in the bar stool. He scratched his head absentmindedly and took a few testing sips from the cup.

"Have any of Peridot's sensors picked up Lapis?" He asked.

Pearl shook her head, "No. I know that you wanted to make sure she was alright after the battle, but if she was well enough to fly off, then I'm sure she is fine. She might not even be on Earth anymore." She clasped her hands together, "Have you heard from Connie lately?"

Steven took another sip from his mug and leaned into it as if it was the only thing holding his head up from taking a nosedive, "Yeah, she's doing just fine at college without me. All her classes are going well. Of course, she's acing everything."

Pearl put her hand forward on the counter, "I know it's hard seeing her move on like this." Steven winced at the choice of words. Pearl had never been particularly great at cheering someone up. She always seemed to get to the heart of the matter no matter hard it hurt. At least she was honest with herself. "I miss her too. She was my best student." She added.

"It feels like everyone is leaving me, Pearl. First, it was Lars moving away, now Connie and Peedee leaving for college."

Pearl grimaced, "We, I mean Garnet and I, never wanted you to be so cut off from other humans. We've tried to cultivate a healthy environment for you..."

The coffee was finally working its way through his system; that or Pearl's words were sobering him up. "I don't blame either of you. It just happened, and I'm still dealing with it."

She bit the bottom of her lip, "I think you are depressed."

He almost spat out his coffee, "What?!"

"I was reading this human journal, and it lists the symptoms of depression." She counted on her fingers as she listed them off, "You were giving away your possessions like your sweater yesterday. You fell asleep early, but you overslept today. Usually, you would be awake by now begging Amethyst to go sledding. You're not enjoying what you use to like." Her voice tilted up in pitch increasing into almost a shrill as she reached the end of her list, but Steven laughed.

"This is serious, Steven."

He shook his head in disbelief, "I am sad about my friends, but I'm not depressed. First off, I wanted to give the sweater as a gift to Peridot. Then, I woke up last night and stayed up late talking to her. So that's why I woke up late this morning. That's all."

Pearl eyed him with a sidelong glance, "So you're alright?"

"I'm tired, but I'm fine."

Despite his assurance, Pearl didn't appear any less concerned "You're spending a lot of time with Peridot lately."

"Is that a problem?" He asked.

"Well no but-"

"She's my best friend."

Pearl frowned, "I thought Connie was your best friend."

He took another deep swig from his cup, "I thought so too."

"There was a lot of pressure from her parents to go to school for a higher education. You should give her a chance. Call her sometime."

Pearl's nudging was starting to wear on him. He didn't feel like explaining himself, "Peridot is a good friend, she's done a lot for us."

"She does seem eager to prove herself, but you don't know very much about her yet."

He felt a fire boil in his gem. "I know she's a gem. Maybe she won't leave me like everyone else!" He slammed his cup down harder than he had intended. Pearl recoiled, and something caught her eye from the corner. Steven turned with her. Peridot stood in the doorway, wearing his blue sweater and had shifted for herself blue winter boots that matched. She curled up like a small green pea that was waiting to be squished. She looked as if she preferred if it came soon.

Steven stumbled out of his seat, "I'm going to take a shower, and I'll be right out with you guys."

Peridot's head bobbed up and down.

Pearl didn't say anything.

Steven scurried away and beelined for the bathroom. He locked himself in and put his back to the door. He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. This day hadn't got off to a good start. He looked at the bathtub, which was once Peridot's hiding spot away from everyone else, at least it had been until she felt more comfortable around them. He hoped a nice hot and relaxing shower would be like slapping a big reset button on the day.

After showering and getting dressed, he searched the inside of his closet for his black wool coat. He had never worn it except the first time Pearl had given it to him last Christmas. He had complained that the gems were still treating him like a child so Pearl had decided to get him a more mature gift that made him look more like an adult. The coat hadn't been what he had in mind, but it was a nice gesture. He wanted to look nice for Peridot, and when he thought of something nice he could wear, the coat came to mind. He couldn't dispute that Pearl had excellent taste in fashion.

He slipped the coat on and grabbed his pink scarf off the hanger next to it and his pink mittens. He still needed a little Steven to shine through. He threw the scarf around his neck and hurried down the steps. Amethyst would only wait for him for so long. Pearl was adjusting her own scarf near the door. Her eyes lit up when she saw him.

"Oh, that looks so lovely on you, Steven. I didn't know if you liked it or not." She straightened his collar and beamed at him with pride. He gave her a sudden hug; he still felt guilty over his previous outburst. Her arms shot out in surprise, and with a laugh, she squeezed him back. He pulled away and went for the door, but she stopped him with a hand before he left.

"Hey." She said, "You know we will always be here for you. We aren't ever going anywhere."

Steven put his hand on hers and gave it a reassuring pat, "That's why I prefer you guys."

Pearl scowled and before she could protest he was out the door. Outside Sapphire and Ruby had defused to have a snowball fight. Amethyst was also participating but which team she was on shifted one moment from the next. Peridot was on the deck, her hands outstretched, fingers pointed towards the roof. She wiggled them, and her brow was furrowed in concentration. Steven looked at where she was gesturing. Attached to the roof was what appeared to be a massive camera, but with other features that weren't immediately obvious. Hovering in mid-air was a screwdriver that Peridot was manipulating mentally to screw in a plate.

Pearl came out and stood beside Steven. She stared up at the device, "Peridot asked us if she could install some security using the scrap from the robonoids."

"And I'm almost done," Peridot answered.

"Pearl! Help! I need reinforcements!" Amethyst shouted from below. She was taking cover behind a small hill of snow. Sapphire and Ruby had decided that they had had enough of Amethyst's lack of loyalty to either of their teams and had teamed up together to beat her. Sapphire was handing packed snowballs to Ruby almost as fast she was throwing them. Pearl laughed and descended the stairs to pull Amethyst out of a tight spot.

Peridot came up beside Steven, "Alright, now tell me THAT isn't a weapon."

He laughed, "Yeah, but snowballs are just for fun." He looked back at the robonoid camera and then down to her, "I didn't know you weren't feeling safe here."

"It isn't for me. It's for you." She said.

"Me? But I have the gems. Their all the security I need."

"I was able to kidnap you and take you through the warp pad before they even had a chance to react." She crossed her arms.

He let out a nervous chuckle, "I guess you're right." A speck flying in the sky behind Peridot's head caught his attention, "Hey, what is that?"

She turned around, "Oh, that is the mobile combat drone. I have this static one placed here loaded with a heavy cannon. I didn't have enough thrust to hold up the weight of the canon and make it fly too, so I built an aerial one to patrol the area that holds lighter artillery."

"Wow. I don't know what to say…"

Peridot held her hands behind her back and swayed side to side, "It was nothing. After you entered hibernation state, I spent the rest of the night repurposing the scrap. I've built similar things in the past. Peridots are trained to make due with limited resources.

He put a hand on her arm, "You never cease to amaze me."

Her eyes twinkled, and her gem flickered green. If he had blinked, he would have missed it. "Your appearance is very pleasing. I like your temperature optimizer and neck sheath."

He thanked Pearl in his head. He noticed Peridot was gazing up at him expectantly. "You look…" He began, but she squinted at him. "Striking," He corrected. "The boots are a great touch."

She looked relieved, "Amethyst suggested this update to my form. I wondered if you…"

"Hey, you two! Pick a side!" Amethyst called out, "But it better be us!" Pearl was beside her crouching behind the makeshift cover of snow throwing snowballs.

Steven leaned close to the green gem, "Let's get them."

Peridot rubbed her hands together with a mischievous grin, "Wait right here. I have an idea." She ran back into the house, and Steven waited watching Sapphire and Ruby fuse to beat back Pearl and Amethyst.

"No fair!" Amethyst shouted. Garnet laughed as she summoned her gauntlets and began pelting them with larger snowballs. They slammed against their natural covering wearing it down. Amethyst and Pearl fused Opal, and Steven cheered. With Opal's four arms the fusion buckled down and turned their previous cover into rapid-fire ammunition. It became too much for Garnet. She resorted to punching the snowballs into slush for defense, but a few hit their mark.

Peridot burst out of the house. She was carrying a makeshift rifle of some sort made of metal tubing. She held it above her head in triumph, "This piece of the robonoid was used to collect minerals before scanning their makeup, but I have configured it to spit out whatever material goes inside at reasonable speeds."

"You made a snowball launcher?" He gasped.

"I prefer ice cannon." She held it up and slapped a button that was on the side of the barrel. It made a high pitched whine and vented a cloud of steam. "Want to try it out on those unsuspecting clods?" She grinned with impish glee.

He grabbed her hand and led them both down the stairs and into the battlefield. Peridot aimed the launcher at the ground and pressed another button. A clump of snow was sucked into the tubing. "Nyeh heh heh." Peridot giggled as she aimed it at Garnet and fired. A big glob of snow hit Garnet in the hair, and both her and Opal stopped firing on each other. They spun around to face Peridot and Steven. "Uh oh." The green gem hid behind him.

The fusions looked at each other. "Team up?" Garnet asked.

"Team up," Opal said. She brought their fists into two sets of hands.

"Ahhh!" Steven cried. A rain of snowballs flew into the air toward them. He closed his eyes and raised his shield. The slush slid off the barrier and hit the ground in front of both him and the cowering gem behind him.

Peridot jumped up and down, "Hah!" She used the launcher to suck in another glob of snow and launch it at Opal. The fusion was barely able to leap out of the way. Steven held his shield up and ran with Peridot behind him loading her snow cannon and firing it at the two opponents. Steven skidded to a stop and crouched down forming his shield into a bigger tower shield version. Peridot knelt down behind him and held out her hands manipulating the launcher with her metal powers. She loaded it and fired it above the shield remotely, and it hit Garnet and Opal. The fusions were unable to get even one shot in past the shield.

"Get them from both sides!" Garnet called out to Opal.

The fusions moved in to flank him on either side. He couldn't protect both with just one shield. He threw up his bubble around them as the first of the snow landed. Garnet and Opal didn't stop there. They bombarded the bubble until it was entirely covered and both Steven and Peridot couldn't see anything from the inside. Peridot stood up and pressed her hand against the bubble wall as if to admire it.

"Get ready," Steven said as he held out his arms holding the bubble steady.

Peridot crouched low with her launcher and nodded to him. Steven threw his hands up, and the bubble popped sending all of the snow that had accumulated hurtling towards the gems. Garnet and Opal were completely covered. Silence fell. Garnet shook the ice off, and Opal wiped it away with two of her hands. They both stood stunned at the display.

Finally, Peridot cackled and raised her hands in the air, "We win! Praise us! Praise us!"

Steven laughed, and Garnet chuckled. Opal defused with Amethyst rolling on the ground laughing and Pearl doing a slow clap.

"Okay, I want to be on Steven's team," Amethyst said.

* * *

 

Steven stepped off the warp pad with Peridot beside him. He pulled their sled behind him. Amethyst was in front ahead of them. They had taken the warp pad to a spot near Dead Man's Mouth. Brooding hill was a steep climb, but he could see the top. He could almost see the pink blossoms again where he and Lars had stood on the edge with their friends. Now, everything was as still as a graveyard. The memories he had of this place were ghosts lingering as reminders of another time and another life. Amethyst had been worried that they wouldn't be the first ones to use the hill, but in all truth, most people had stopped coming here. If they hadn't moved away, then like the cool kids they had moved onto different activities. His return felt like a visit to pay respects to the lost and less like a holiday tradition. The only thing that brought him comfort was the crunching of Peridot's winter boots trudging in the snow leaving smaller footprints next to his. The sound of her voice was enough to clear the memories away like cobwebs.

"Let me see if I understand this process correctly. You and I are going to slide at high velocity down this steep hill with only a small wooden gravity platform separating us from the ground?"

"Yep."

"And this will be...fun?"

Steven chuckled, "This is one that you're going to have to trust me on."

The smile she gave him in return said she trusted him, maybe it said more than that, but he knew whatever it was, he liked it. It made him want to take her hand in his, to feel the tug of her body following after him. He wanted to kiss the lips that formed those coy smiles. He wanted to thank her for being here with him; she didn't know how much that meant. Most of all, he longed to see those blue eyes. They seemed to want to understand. But Amethyst wouldn't.

The three gems made it to the top. Amethyst, despite her eagerness to get started, stood with them admiring the view of Beach city. The cold weather had slowed the activity of the city to a crawl. The bustling town was hibernating, and it was as quiet and motionless as a still life. Amethyst put her back to the cliff and shifted her feet into skis and her hands into poles.

She bent low and gave them a devilish grin, "Let's tear this turf up." She lunged forward, and they watched as she shot down the hill.

"Your version of sledding now seems much safer than whatever Amethyst is currently doing. I don't understand what clod thought it was a good idea to strap slabs to your feet and throw yourself down a steep incline," Peridot said.

Steven put the toboggan sled into position on the ground and got on first, "Sit behind me and hold on tight. I'll kick us off."

Peridot crawled up behind him. She went limp and fell back when he pulled her legs up to rest against his, her back slid down against the wood. She sat back up with a huff and readjusted herself. She pressed into his back, and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"This is a very compromising position you have me in." She said inches away from his ear.

"I think I like compromising you." He said over his shoulder. He felt the heat of her cheeks all the way from there radiating through the cold air.

Steven gave a few hard kicks to get them going, and Peridot squeezed him tighter. It didn't take them long to pick up speed. It was like taking off in flight. He had sled many times before, but none made him feel like he did now. It was the wind gliding through his hair, the rope that he pulled to cut a path for them. It was Peridot clutching to him. It was the howl that started in his throat and rose from his lips into a cheer. And it was the giggle that tickled his ear, and the whoop that followed that wasn't his own. At that moment Steven couldn't think of anything else except what was happening now and how happy he was, a happiness he had realized he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since Connie left.

When they reached the bottom, they came to a stop. Steven rolled off the sled and into the snow, and his laughter echoed into the sky. Peridot kicked herself off the sled and fell beside him. She was giggling uncontrollably drunk off of her first experience.

"That was amazing Steven. I've piloted spaceships through countless systems. I've flown using my limb enhancers, but nothing felt as good as that." She said.

He rolled over on his side to face her, "That's why you want to get as close to the ground as you can." Steven leaned over her and Peridot held a breath, "The closer you are…" He held his face inches from hers. She drew closer. "...the more intense it feels." Peridot grabbed his face with both hands and mashed their lips together. It wasn't like their first kiss had been. It was clumsy and fierce. Their mouths broke apart and joined back together a few times until Steven remembered himself and Amethyst. His head jolted up with Peridot's hand still curled behind it and her fingers tugging at his hair. He sighed in relief when he saw Amethyst farther ahead of them headed back up to the top, her back turned. Peridot was panting underneath him.

"I don't know why I am breathing like this. I don't need to intake additional oxygen." She sat up in the snow with him flustered. She brushed the snow off her arms, "Can we go again?"

"As many times as you want."

She jumped up, and he followed picking the sled back up. On the way back, Amethyst passed them, this time shapeshifted into a sled that was sticking its tongue out at them. Steven stuck out his tongue back and wiggled his fingers at the sides of his ears. Once they reached the top, he set up the sled for them as he had done before. Without help, Peridot got in behind him and wrapped herself around him.

"Ready." She said, a grin on her face.

He kicked off again and tugged at the reins taking them down a new path. Peridot was the first to squeal in delight. She raised her hands above her head, and the sled's left side jumped. The moment Steven heard the crunching of wood and felt Peridot's leg sliding off his side he swung around to catch her from falling off. The ice beneath her back was a blur. She clawed at his arm and held on. He tried to haul her up. She pulled herself up, and she was only a few inches from sliding across the snow herself. Steven was turned towards her now, and even though he was looking straight at her, she was staring in mounting horror over his shoulder.

"Steven!" She shrieked.

In his haste to grab Peridot, he had brought the reins with him, and their sled was now plunging toward the edge of Brooding hill's cliff side. He knew there was no time to correct. Steven threw his hands out and formed a bubble as he closed his eyes for impact. Peridot screamed. He could feel the sled still moving underneath him, but it was no longer cutting through the snow. A few moments later and he knew there was no way they could still be falling. He opened one eye and then the other. The sled was soaring over Beach city. It was flying; they were flying. He shifted and turned to look back at Peridot. The green gem was trembling with her hands stretched out as far as she could reach bracing for a collision that would never come.

"Peridot…" He whispered.

"Wha...what?" She asked, her eyes still clenched tight.

"Open your eyes but don't stop what you're doing."

Peridot cracked an eyelid and peeked out, "NYEH!" The sled did a jump like a car backfiring but to Steven's relief they didn't start to fall.

"Relax, just breathe. The sled has metal in it." He said softly as if he talked too loudly the spell would break

Peridot opened both her eyes and looked around with her hands still pointed to the sky, "I can't believe this. I've never manipulated this kind of weight before."

"Is it difficult?" He asked.

"Uh, no actually. I think I can put my hands down." She carefully lowered her hands down to her sides, but the sled kept flying.

"You saved us."

"If it weren't for you, I'd be in my gem right now." She said.

Peridot slowed the sled down to a glide. The eternal silence he had felt the first day that it had snowed had fallen over everything above and below. It wasn't a void of sound. He knew what it was because it was inside him too. It was contentment. There was nothing that needed to be done at this moment. The small gem behind him placed her hands on his sides for balance. He reached down and put his mitten on her hand.

"Thank you for being here with me." He said.

She kicked her feet idly. They dangled off the sides of the sled. As if shouldering off some unforeseeable weight she sunk and rested the side of her face on the back of his coat, "I don't feel so lonely when I'm with you."

"Lonely?" He asked.

"I always felt a part of something bigger than myself when I served homeworld. It was a community, wherever I went."

"I was lonely too." He admitted.

"You? What about the gems or the other humans you've mentioned?"

"A lot of my friends have started to move on with their lives. Maybe I've lost the connection with some. Unlike gems, humans have a lifespan. They grow old and die. I don't think I'll ever do that. I'm part gem."

Peridot hugged him from behind, "I don't ever want that to happen to you."

He sighed, "That means I will watch everyone I ever knew that wasn't a gem die." He hung his head, "My dad will be one of the first." Peridot didn't answer. He understood. He barely had the words himself to describe what the feeling was like. "I thought the gems would understand, but Garnet and Pearl don't want me to give up. I don't understand how they expect me to act like it's all normal." He threw his hands up, "The gems don't even have a lot of human friends. They have each other, and they don't pay much attention to what happens in Beach city. They want me to do something that they don't even do themselves!"

"What do you want to do?" She asked.

"I don't know anymore." He leaned forward and propped his arms against the front of the sled, "I guess we should head back. Amethyst will notice we are gone pretty soon and come looking for us."

Peridot motioned with her hands as Steven had with the reins. That was when they were still in a place to work. The sled turned and pointed itself back to Brooding hill. He watched buildings pass by underneath him. The peak of the hill came into view, his eyes locked onto it. He imagined the pink blossoms floating into the air and wilting into nothing. "Do you ever regret your decision with Yellow Diamond? Like if you could get what you had back. Would you?"

"No."

It was a short bitter note, but it was familiar. It had come from him just this morning when he had yelled at Pearl. It sang a truth deeper than any of the songs they had previously shared. He nodded. They were on the same key. The sled picked up speed, and the cold air burned his face. He pulled his scarf up to his nose so that he looked like a bandit.

"Steven?"

"Yeah?" His voice was muffled behind the cloth.

"I'm not going anywhere."

A lump clumped together in his throat. He blinked away the tears that were now forming in his eyes. She had plucked a chord. He hadn't realized how tightly wound it had become. It was stretched to the breaking point. The sound it made resonated inside him as if it had been struck in a hollow cavity. When he choked an answer out, the words were caught in his scarf. He could only give her leg a squeeze, to let her know they were in harmony.


	4. The Riff That Caused the Rift

Peridot, with her eyes narrowed, and her tongue stuck out to the side, zeroed in on her target. She hunched over it like she was soldering a circuit board rather than putting the icing on a cookie. Every year Pearl let Steven pick out a design for the gingerbread cookies. He usually chose to bake stars along with her gingerbread gem men. This year, he had convinced her to let Peridot join them, and pick out a shape of her own. To Pearl's dismay, she chose an alien head. At first, they all looked like large teardrops on the pan, until she dotted their eyes, and squirted one indifferent line for their mouths.

"Weird little creatures." Pearl scoffed.

Peridot held the icing tube away from Pearl as if she would snatch it away to stop the ingredients from turning into little green delectable monsters.

"I think they look cool," Steven said.

Pearl shook her head and placed the last gumdrop button on one of her own creations. She stepped back to admire the small army of gingerbread gem men all lined up in formation. "Perfection." She said. They all had tiny drops in different locations to show their gem placement. There were tall pearls and short rubies, sapphires and quarts. Each one wore icing the color of their gem to match.

His were easy, and he was the first to finish. Steven would take a handful of drops and scatter them on each star. Wherever they happened to land was perfect to him. Peridot placed black gumdrops for the eyes on her aliens. She dropped a little black drop at the base of the head and two small red ones on either side. Steven chuckled. She was fashioning them all bow ties.

Peridot looked up at him still a little self-conscious. But when she saw his grin, she returned a sheepish smile. Amethyst was sitting across from them on the bar stool, her face eclipsed by the cookie dough bowl. She licked the remains and set the bowl down with a few spots of dough stuck near her lips.

"Hey, those look tasty." Amethyst said licking a dab of dough near her cheek.

"A part of this batch is for Greg and Steven." Pearl said. Her glare was enough to fend off Amethyst's appetite.

"Fiiiiine, I'll wait."

Pearl pulled out a plastic container. She started to load it with each variety of cookie they had made. Peridot curled her fingers and held her hands close to her chest when Pearl put hers in. She watched to make sure she wasn't being too rough and break one of her creation's bowties. The tall gem put the lid on and locked the cookies inside. Steven couldn't wait until his dad opened it. The gingerbread smell would hit him like a surprise cookie bomb. He would share these cookies every year with him. His dad would always act surprised when he showed up with them. He liked that part the best.

Suddenly something that sounded like a tornado siren shook the living room. They all jumped and turned towards the sound. On the couch, vibrating, was Peridot's tablet. Steven had no idea how the green gem had managed to rig it to make it sound ten times as loud as it's size. It did remind him of someone. Peridot hopped over to the couch with a jittery giggle and turned the alarm off. She sat down with the bottoms of her feet together. "It works!" She cried.

"What on Earth was that?" Pearl asked.

"That's almost as bad as a wailing stone," Amethyst said with a groan.

Peridot was too engrossed in the screen to answer them. Steven walked over and sat beside her. The display was a wall of gibberish to him as Peridot had found a way to force the tablet to support gem software. It was all in the gem language. She pushed a button, and the screen changed to a camera feed. Jamie was the unlucky target on the opposite end. Peridot scowled and pressed a button shaped like a speaker.

"State your business." She demanded.

Jamie was standing near Steven's mailbox. He held up his hands in surrender. "Uh, mail?" He peeped. Peridot was skeptical. She looked back at Steven to see if he believed him.

"That's Jamie. He's cool. He delivers our mail. Just tell him it's okay, and he can deliver the mail."

"Steven is that you?" Jamie asked through the camera.

Peridot pushed another button, "Uh oh. Wrong one." On the other side of the camera, the drone started to make a whirring sound. The drone's plates scraped and clanged as it unpacked its hidden equipment. It was likely the light canon numbered among it. "Cloddy thing!" Peridot was smashing some other buttons. He couldn't discern their functions by the icons.

"Shut it off!" He shouted.

"I'm trying!" Peridot slammed her hand down on a large button in the right-hand corner "NYEH!" The screen went black. A silence fell across the room. Steven and Peridot looked up at Pearl. The tall gem's features fell, and she crossed her arms. Amethyst gave her a side glance.

She sighed, "I'll go see if our mailman is disintegrated." Pearl tossed her scarf on and went out the door.

Peridot powered the tablet back on and sunk into the couch, "Sorry. I guess I still have a few bugs to work out. The button for stand down was not coded correctly." She hid behind the screen and peered over the top of the device so that Steven could only see her eyes and the peak of her hair.

"It's okay. I'm sure everything is fine. Light cannons are pretty loud so we would have heard it if it had gone off."

"Nah P-dot made those robots. He's space dust." Amethyst said. She slipped out of the bar stool and made her way into the kitchen.

Peridot glared at her and then stuck her nose back into the tablet to recode the button. Amethyst made crunching sounds from the kitchen. Steven knew that the fact that she was picking on Peridot was a good thing. It had only been a couple of days since Amethyst had come back with them raving about Peridot's ability to fly, given that a sled was underneath her at least. Even Pearl had thanked Peridot for saving him. They were all becoming used to having the feisty gem around. When he had asked Pearl this morning about the baking, he dug in expecting to have to fight for an inch of ground, but she caved like butter. He hadn't even needed to whip out the puppy dog eyes. He wasn't sure what to make of Garnet. She was quiet, even more than usual. She was either working on something or knew something he didn't, both were likely.

Steven had to admit that the only one that hadn't become familiar with Peridot's presence here was him. The other gems lived in the temple. They made themselves known and used the house as he did, but Peridot spent most of her time with him. Even as close as he and Connie had once become she had never actually roomed with him. It wasn't that Peridot was too close, it was that she wasn't close enough despite the proximity they shared. It made the house feel like purgatory at times.

The only thing that dispelled that feeling were the looks she sometimes shot him when no one else was looking. They were like little messages that were only for him. She would slide them to him throughout the day if only to let him know she was still there. He wanted to return more than the sly winks they traded or the quick kisses they stole when the gems were gone. He had even grown so bold to plant a few on her even when they were present but not looking. The faces that Peridot made when he took the risk was what spurred him to continue even trying them. But what enticed him the most was her tireless energy. Her hands tinkered with machinery, her eyes combed the internet for information, her fingers coded software for the drones. Yet, even in her quiet moments, a restless spirit seemed to drive her. At night, mingled with the amber glow of the fire, was the shine of the tablet's surface reflecting off of her visor and the drum of her fingers creating a world for Pierre and Percy. At times he ached for a world of his own.

The sound of footsteps on the deck reminded him he was still stuck in this one. Pearl had returned. Amethyst dashed out of the kitchen and into the temple before the door opened. Pearl shut the door behind her. If Peridot could have brought the tablet closer to her face at that moment, she would have, and gladly worn it as a new visor.

"He wasn't hurt, but I think the drone scared him off. That means we didn't get our mail. I know you ordered some more pants, Steven. Now I have to go down to the post office and pick them up."

"It was an accident. I swear. It won't happen again!" Peridot said.

"Right." Pearl snarked. She went into the kitchen and grabbed the cookie container. "Here you are, Steven. You can take these to Greg."

Steven got up and took the container from her. He hugged her, "You're the best Pearl. Thanks for letting Peridot cook with us."

"Of course. You're very welcome." She hummed. She squeezed him back holding onto him longer than he had her.

He grabbed his black wool coat, and he caught Pearl smiling when he put it on. It faded as he said, "Ready Peri?"

"Ready," Peridot said. She jumped up and met him at the door. She still had her sweater on. The boots came and went, but the green gem had not parted with the sweater except when Pearl had offered to wash it for her.

"Peridot is going with you?" Pearl asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah. She hasn't met my dad before."

Pearl raised a finger trying to find a reason to protest, but she let it go with a wave. "Ah...well, you two have fun and be safe." Baking pans and bowls clattered behind him as Pearl searched the kitchen countertop. Steven closed the door, but he could hear her say, "Where is the...wait. AMETHYST!"

* * *

 

Beach city had appeared like a sleepy city from the top of Brooding hill. But as soon as Steven and Peridot hit the street, he found that it wasn't the case at all. Children were playing and having snowball fights. On the beach, people were setting up a stage for an event. Whatever it was, it required a big bonfire. Usually, he would be the first to check it out and then drive all his friends and the gems to attend it with him. But it was becoming too cold, and Peridot seemed like a warmer option.

"You know, I can't believe I didn't think of this before," Steven said. The cookies were tucked safely under his arm like a briefcase of money. He knew that his dad's pearls of wisdom didn't cost anything, but he liked having something to give back. Peridot was still carrying her tablet and making adjustments to the drone's coding.

"You said this dad has a vast knowledge base on Earth subjects. I'm sure he can give you the advice you're looking for."

"He's never let me down before." He said.

Peridot's eyes returned to the tablet. She was so absorbed in her work that she didn't see the approaching street lamp. Steven took her by the arm and pulled her out its path. She looked up at him surprised and then over her shoulder at the lamp.

"Thanks, Steven." She sighed and gazed at the blob of code on her screen as if it was an unruly child, "I have to get this right. I almost hurt one of your human friends."

"Jamie will be fine. He has to come back. It's kind of his job. I know Pearl will smooth things over with him and explain that it was just a misunderstanding. She's good at the sort of stuff."

Peridot didn't seem convinced. They reached the end of the street and on the other side was the car wash and his dad's van. The van wore a thick layer of snow on its roof like a hat. No other place resonated with him like this corner of Beach city. He had spent so much time here as a kid; the wash was practically a second home. Sometimes it was even more home than the temple. He could come here when he wanted to get away, and it was just the two of them, Steven and his dad. It didn't seem to resonate with Peridot so much as it rattled her. She had been so caught up in fixing the drone. The importance of meeting Steven's dad for the first time had evaded her until now. She surveyed the scene as if it held a stage for her execution. She lowered the tablet to her side surrendering to whatever verdict The Dad would exact.

"Hey, he's not going to shatter you."

"How do you know?"

"He's going to love you."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because I…" He turned his gaze to the van faltering on the edge of his last word. He could feel the small gem's eyes on him. "I know him."

Peridot deflated, "I'm done for." She went to cross her arms, but Steven pulled them away and took her hand in his. She squeezed it back and clung to him as close as she had wanted to herself. They crossed the street together. The curtains were drawn across the windows of the back doors on the van. Steven pressed his ear next to one of them. There was a gentle hum inside from the generator. His dad had bought it to power a heater and any other devices he decided to add to the van. He grabbed the back door handles and threw them open. A trapped wave of heat crashed over both of them.

"Surprise!" He yelled into the empty cabin.

Peridot squinted, "I don't see-"

"Surprise!" Greg shouted as he came around from the side of one of the open van doors.

"GYAH!" Peridot shot into the air. When she landed, she held her tablet out in front of her as if making a sacrificial offering that could replace her.

"Dad!" Steven spun around and threw his arms around him. He was wearing his white sweater with the cherries on it and jeans.

"Heya Schtu-ball. What's brought you to see your dear old dad? I was just locking up the wash for the day." He hugged Steven back. Peridot was behind him trying to compose herself. Greg noticed her, "Oh, I'm sorry if I scared ya."

Steven didn't waste a second. With a bow and a flourish of his hand, he introduced the small gem that was attempting to manifest invisibility powers. "This is Peridot. She's the newest crystal gem. I wanted her to meet you."

Peridot raised a hand, "It is an honor to meet you Dad, creator of Steven. Your craftsmanship is unmatched." She looked back at Steven with a pained expression. He gave her a reassuring nod. He liked it when she tried too hard, which was most times. She tackled everything with an infectious intensity. If there was an off button on her, he hoped never to find it.

Greg laughed, "You can call me Greg." He ruffled Steven's hair, "Yeah I like him too. It's a pleasure to meet you. How do you like Earth so far?"

"I love it." Her eyes hadn't returned to him. Instead, Greg followed them back to Steven.

"Here Dad. I brought you some of Pearl's gingerbread cookies for us to share." Steven all but shoved the container into his arms.

Greg cradled the bowl, "Wow. This  _is_  a surprise. You know how much I love these." He popped the lid open and leaned down bringing his nose close to the cookies, "These smell great." He moved a few of the treats around and pulled an alien head out, "I haven't seen one of these before."

Peridot clawed at her chest, "That's one of mine."

Greg took a bite eating the bowtie and one of the eyes. Peridot was watching him as if he was Gordon Ramsey and her existence hinged on his next words. He chewed and swallowed and gave her a humoring smile, "That one is my new favorite."

Peridot grinned, and she pumped her fists into the air, "Victory! I have conquered this winter challenge!"

Greg cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm showing Peridot everything you do during winter and for Christmas," Steven explained.

"What is this Christmas, Steven? Is that the last tier of the trials?"

He chuckled, "I'll have to tell you about that one later."

Greg passed out some cookies to both of them, and Peridot eyed hers. She took a few testing bites to judge the hardness and then bit into it. Steven sat down in the open back of the van and took a chunk out of his ruby cookie. His dad sat beside him and put the container between them.

"Slow day huh?" Steven asked.

"Oh no. Everyone wants to get that ice salt off their cars." He chuckled, "I don't need the revenue from the wash anymore, but I think of it as a kind of public service. You have yours, and I have mine." He scooped up a star cookie, "So tell me Peridot, what has Steven been showing you?"

"Hrrrnnngghh" Peridot stalled, and her cheeks darkened.

"The challenges. Tell him what you've accomplished so far." Steven interjected.

"Oh, right. Ahem." She arched her back, "I have mastered snowball gladiatorial combat. I have learned how to forge fire, I am a roaster of human confections, racer of the sled, and grand chef of ginger." She puffed out her chest and spread her arms out, "Finally, I am adorned in the garb of a winter champion."

"That's quite the resume you have there." Greg looked between them, "The sweater suits you."

Peridot held her hands together in front of her, "Wow, thanks."

"So how have you been? It sounds like you've been busy." He asked Steven.

"Okay, I guess. I had something to ask you. I wanted your advice." He leaned up against the van wall and propped his knee inside.

"Alright, shoot."

"It's about something the gems have been wanting me to do."

"Is it about the driving thing? I told them I would teach you if I thought you needed it but you have those warp pad things."

Steven glanced at Peridot as she pulled an alien head out of the cookie bowl, "No, Dad. It's not about the driving thing. It's about my human friends. They think I'm spending too much time around gems and not enough around other humans." He pulled the arm off the pearl cookie in his hands, "You know a lot of my friends have kind of moved on or moved away."

His dad patted his leg, "I know Connie was a big hit for you. She didn't want to go, but she's too smart of a girl to stay hanging around Beach city. You and the gems have been more than capable on your own, and she's young." Steven frowned and his shoulders sagged. He had never thought of his and Connie's time together as just hanging around. Even if he hadn't been able to give her what she wanted, she had still been his best friend. Didn't that count for something? "Hey, and  _you're_  young. What's happening with you now is what most kids go through. I know I had to go through it too."

"So this is a normal human phase?" Peridot asked.

"Yeah. Look, I know the gems are worried about you, but they're always worried about you. This will pass, and you'll make new friendships or rekindle old ones." Greg held out a hand to Peridot, "Peridot here is a great example. You may have lost a few friends, but you got a new one already."

A hint of a smile rose on Steven's cheeks, "I guess you're right." He and Peridot traded glances. Her visor was on, but he could see those blue eyes pierce right through them and reach him. In them was a spark of admiration and mischief yet to be carried out.

"But I'll throw in a bonus nugget of Dad advice. There's a concert going on tonight at the beach. A lot of people will be there. I know for certain that your friends Sadie, Buck, Jenny, and Sour Cream will be there. You should go."

"How do you know they will be there?"

He laughed, "Because they're the band that'll be playing. You've been gone for a while working on that cluster thing, Steven."

Steven gasped, "They made a band?!"

He nodded, "Yup, it's called Rising Tides. Guess who can play any role they need? If you go, you can meet up with your old friends and talk to one of them about joining the band." He shrugged "You can even meet some new people."

Steven couldn't believe it. The closest he had ever come to being a part of a real band was Steven and the Stevens. This would be the real thing. It would give him an excuse to hang out with them all the time. They could spend afternoons writing songs together and practicing.

He bolted up and stuffed the remains of the crumbled pearl cookie into his mouth with both hands. "I have to go talk to Sadie right now!" He managed with a full mouth. He swallowed, "I could be a backup singer, or if they don't have a bassist I could do that!" He rolled out of the van and to his feet. Peridot stumbled back.

"Hold on there." His dad said, holding up a hand, "Before you go I got one last thing I wanted to talk to you about." He scratched at his arm, "Peridot, could you give us a minute alone?"

"May I inspect your vehicle cleaning machines?" She said as if bartering a deal.

"Uh, yeah?"

She nodded and left to allow them some privacy. Greg got out of the van and leaned a hand against the door. He watched Peridot disappear into the inside of the wash tunnel, "So have you told the gems yet?"

Steven stuffed his hands into his coat, "Told them what?"

His dad turned back to face him with a sly smile, "Guess that means you haven't."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Pfft c'mon, Kiddo. That girl...uh gem. She's hair over heels for you." Steven blushed, "And by the looks of it, you don't think she's too bad yourself."

"How did you know?"

"Steven, I was a musician," He said as if brandishing credentials. "Trust me. I told you about Connie before she even asked you out, didn't I? Gem or human, it doesn't matter. I'd recognize a pair of googly eyes on anyone."

"She wasn't googling me."

"Not yet she wasn't. I mean you haven't…? Right…?"

"Dad! No."

His dad let out a sigh, "Okay."

"I like her though...a lot." He confessed with a shrug.

Greg pulled him into a hug, "I'm happy for you Schtu-ball. You're growing up too fast for me." His dad went quiet for a moment. He had gone silent like this a few times in Steven's life. Now it made him sad knowing what brought them on. "She seems nice. Does she make you happy?"

"Yes." He said at once resting his chin on his dad's shoulder. He felt a pat on his back.

"That's all that matters then." Greg pulled away and rubbed the back of his head through his thick mane of hair. "And if you need any advice on that then I got you covered there too. You know you're mom..."

"Dad."

"Ok, ok." His dad held up his hands. He grinned, "Tell the gems whenever you're ready. They don't always need to know everything. You get to keep a few secrets. Just none from your old man, got it?" He added jabbing a finger toward Steven.

"Got it." He answered smiling.

"Alright. I don't want to hold you up. Talk to Sadie, and maybe you can even be a part of tonight's show. Love you, Kiddo."

"Love you, Dad."

Steven found Peridot inside the wash tunnel. A panel was open on one of the machines, and there was a flash from the tablet's camera. She had been using that feature often ever since he had shown her that it worked like the camera she had used before.

She jumped back when he entered, "Oh, I wasn't..."

"You're fine. I wanted to tell you I'm ready."

"Right." She shut the panel, "Me too actually."

Peridot went back to say goodbye to his dad and grab a star cookie for the road. They crossed the street and Steven waved goodbye. Peridot copied the gesture. His dad waved back and gave him a wink. Steven led the way back towards the temple and to the Big Donut. Peridot came up beside him.

"I assume you had a stimulating conversation?"

"Heh, you could say that."

"I would like to see you play in this band. I have been researching music, but it would be good to have a live example to observe."

"You've been researching it?" Steven asked.

She waved a hand, "It has come up a few times in my related studies."

"Oh."

The two of them made their way to the opposite end of the street. They passed the Big Donut once on the way to the car wash. Steven had thought about peeking in and saying hello to Sadie before, but he didn't want to do it with the cookies. He walked in with Peridot trailing behind him. Sadie was leaning on a counter decorated by a border of elves making donuts. There was a Christmas tree in the corner of the store. It was about time to put up the tree at the temple. Yet another trial for Peridot to complete. He had a feeling she would enjoy that one as well.

Peridot had gone over to the tree. She flicked one of its needles and watched an ornament jiggle, "Oouuu hehe."

Sadie was peering deep into her phone with one hand supporting her cheek. Steven noticed she looked off center behind the counter. Whether or not it was conscious, Sadie was holding Lar's spot. She looked up and smiled, "Hey, Steven. Come to get one of the Christmas donuts?"

"Nope, I came to see you." He said.

She smiled and stuffed her phone into her pocket giving him her attention. "Who's your friend?" Peridot was now standing in front of the Lion Licker cooler and pulling up a picture of a lion on her tablet.

"That's Peridot," Steven said.

"Hello." The gem answered preoccupied. She opened her mouth wide and bared her teeth mimicking the growling lion on her screen.

"What did you want to see me about?" Sadie asked.

Steven took up his usual spot near the display case, "My dad told me you and the other guys started a band. Rising Tides?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot that we made it while you were away for awhile. I thought I told you about it. Are you going to come see us tonight?"

"Well, actually, I wanted to ask you about joining. I don't know what you guys have already, but I could be a backup singer or a bassist or…"

"Jenny is on the bass guitar," Sadie said.

"Singer then?" He asked, "You've heard me sing plenty of times. I did that show for you that one time."

Sadie put her hand to her chin, "Steven...I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but the band is full." His heart crashed into the rocks like a misguided wave.

Peridot swung around. Steven tapped the display glass next to Sadie, "So you guys don't need anything then?"

"Well, it's not that we couldn't use…"

Peridot cut her off, "Then what is it?" She asked throwing each word like a dagger one at a time. Steven looked back at her. Her feet were spread apart, and her hands were curled into fists that flared out at her sides. She looked away from Sadie for only a moment so she could read Steven's face. In hers, the veil of anger parted to reveal a matching wound. Then it was gone, and she was glaring at Sadie again expecting an explanation.

Sadie sighed, "I'm sorry but when the band was made we considered letting you join. You're really talented. It wasn't anything against you personally, but you're younger than all of us. We all decided that we wanted to go for a more mature tone. We didn't think that would be a fit for you."

"Oh." He rubbed his cheek as if he had been slapped, "I get that."

"How could all of you make such a miscalculation?! Steven is a superior choice to any CLOD you could have found to join your musical squad!" Peridot thundered, "He has proficiency in most of your human instruments and an innate talent that can't be ignored."

Sadie's jaw dropped. She looked to Steven to say something, but he didn't. He was as shocked as she was.

Peridot's arms were rigid by her sides, "Maybe you should call yourselves the DECLINING CLODS!" Peridot stomped over to the door and stabbed a finger toward the Lion Licker cooler, "and those don't even look like lions!" She stormed out into the cold. She tried to slam the door behind her, but it would only glide to a close. She raised her hands in the air and walked towards the temple, "RARRGHH!"

Steven looked over at Sadie, her mouth was open to say something, but it didn't come.

"She's still new to earth," Steven muttered. He didn't think that covered everything, but at this moment he found it hard to care.

Sadie pursed her lips and swallowed, "She seems like a good friend. I'm sorry Steven. I really need this. The others approaching me to be the lead singer was the best thing that's happened to me in a while. I want to be a part of something. You're a crystal gem, and you've got the gems. But what do I have? Do you understand?"

Steven understood more than anyone. All he had wanted was to belong, to be the right fit. The gem in his gut felt heavy. It made his insides turn. "I understand Sadie. Don't sweat it. I'll show up tonight and watch you guys rock out."

Sadie slapped the counter, "Great! I know everyone will be happy to see you there."

"I need to go and uh…" He gestured a thumb toward where Peridot had gone, "Check on her." He needed an excuse to get out of there. Any reason to distance himself from her so that he could have a chance to think.

"Okay...see you tonight. We have some T-shirts made too. I'll give you one after the show tonight."

Steven backed out of the shop and waved, "See you then."

He grimaced. The weight of his gem only increased, and he felt as if he was cracked. His chest seized with a cry that refused to come. He blew out a cloud of steam into the frigid air instead. All he could think of was those pink blossoms. The way they drifted away in the wind. Every time he reached for one they crumbled to dust.

The parking lot was empty. He looked around. The corner of Peridot's blonde hair stuck out around the side of the building. Peridot was huddled there. She hadn't gone home as he thought. He walked across the lot to her, but she didn't look up at him. He slid up next to her and leaned against the wall.

"I'm not apologizing," She grumbled.

"I didn't want you to," He said, "Are you okay?"

She looked at him as if he was being ridiculous, "What? Am I okay? What does that matter? Aren't you upset about what they did?"

He stared out toward the lighthouse, "They're my friends. I should support them."

"But what do  _you_  want?" There was that question again. He didn't have an answer then, and he didn't have one now.

"I want to go see them tonight," He said. Peridot crossed her arms. She didn't believe him. She was right, but what else could he do? "Will you come with me?"

"Absolutely not. I'm going home."

She started for the beach, and he followed. When they returned home, Peridot went off by herself. She shut herself in the bathroom closing the door behind her with a click. He made sure to tell Pearl where he was going that night. In the meantime, he went upstairs and read a book. It was the second in a series Connie had turned him on to right before she left. He tried to keep his dad's words in his head, to trust that everything would be okay tonight. He would go and see his friends and hang out and meet new ones. Even if he couldn't join them on stage, that didn't mean he couldn't try to go and have a good time.

When it was time to go, he went to his closet and pulled out his light pink button up. He took off his star t-shirt and tossed it to the floor. Peridot came out of the bathroom and froze in the middle of the living room. She stared at him until he put his new shirt on. When he smiled at her, her cheeks turned a deep shade of evergreen. She looked away pretending something else had caught her eye. He descended the stairs and was almost out the door with his coat in his hand when Peridot told him to wait for her.

"Maybe I will find something salvageable to observe in their music," Peridot said as they left the house.

"I'm glad you've come around." He answered.

"I...I wouldn't make you go by yourself."

They walked across the snow-covered beach toward the beacon of roasting wood. They had to push through the crowd to get closer to the fire. His dad had been right, a lot of people had shown up. They must have advertised. Steven had been the last person to find out in all of Beach city. On the stage, Sour Cream was already sitting behind his drums. Buck was connecting his guitar. Sadie and Jenny were in position. Sadie waved to him from the stage, and Buck shot a finger gun at him. They were all wearing the band's t-shirt. It was a tidal wave that was carrying a jumbled mess of instruments in its wake.

He recognized a few people hovering near the fire. One stood out more than most because he was the only one sporting a suit.

"Steven, it's good to see you." Mayor Dewey said waving him over.

"Hey, Mayor Dewey. I wouldn't miss this." He said. He had to talk louder to beat the crowd.

"He's been talking about this nonstop for weeks." He said with a chuckle, "This is pretty good publicity too. I told him it was too cold to hold something like this." He held up a hand to the fire that was burning close by, "Then he comes up with this idea. Bright kid."

Steven nodded, "I think it's about to start." He looked down at Peridot beside him. She smiled at him. He leaned over to her, their cheeks almost touching, "I'm glad that you feel better. You know it's not so bad. They look great up there." She gave him a wink. He tilted his head not quite understanding, but the music started to play.

Jenny and Sour Cream started them out with a good beat, and Steven couldn't help but tap his foot along. Buck entered with a catchy riff and Sadie holding the mic in both her hands started to sing. He had forgotten how great of a singer she was. The crowd became hypnotized by the tide. They bobbed their heads up and down with the beat. He wanted to join them, but he didn't feel a part of them. There was a space on the stage that called his name. He wanted to know the words before Sadie sung them so he could join in but he couldn't.

A fumbled note made his ear twitch. He thought it might have come from Buck, but if it had, he was playing it off. His face looked as confident as Garnet behind those shades. But then another note twanged. This time Steven knew for sure, it had come from Buck. Then Sour Cream missed a beat, so only the crowd was left to make it. Steven bit his lip. Maybe the fumbles from Buck had thrown him off. But the spell on the crowd broke as Sadie's mic emitted a high pitched whine that made more than a few cover their ears. The song was collapsing into a discordant heap. The entire band's instruments were rebelling against them. He could hear the murmurs of confusion grow in the crowd.

He turned to see if Peridot saw this too. There was a hint of a smirk pulling at her lips. A movement near her fingers stopped. She returned his gaze, and Sadie's mic stopped hissing and whining.

"Peridot…"

"What?"

The band had stopped altogether, and several of the staff ran out onto the stage to check the equipment. Buck held his guitar out at arm's length as if it might unhook it's strings and beat him with them. Sadie was on the verge of tears while having no success in hiding behind the mic stand. Jenny put her instrument down and rushed over to help her.

"What did...did you do that?"

"You want me to stand by and watch them hurt you?" She shot back, "I won't do it."

"How could you…"

"How could they abandon you?"

"I'm angry about what they did but I never-"

"Then tell me! Say it! Get angry." She grabbed him by the arms and pulled him close so that their faces were inches apart, "Don't hide what you're feeling. Don't hide it from me." Tears dripped from beneath her visor. He didn't know why she was crying. He looked around to see if anyone was staring at them but they were all distracted by what Peridot had done. The world around him was spinning, and his jaw ached at trying to keep it all together. He flinched as he felt something damp against his skin. His fingers went up to his face. He touched the tears that were on his cheek as if prodding a wound he now realized he had sustained hours ago. When she tugged him toward her and embraced him, her hand on the back of his head and the other against his back, something inside him broke. He buried his face into her neck and sobbed hard. Despite the number of people around them, it was like they were standing on the beach alone. It was as if Peridot had made a bubble around them, to try to protect him.

"I wanted to be a part of them. I just wanted to have my friends back but…"

"But they didn't want you back." She finished for him.

"I'm alone." He whispered to her so that only she could hear

"I thought I was too." The side of her face was pressed against his, their tears intermingling against each other's cheeks. She ran her hand through the back of his hair to calm him.

He pulled away to look her in the eyes, "I didn't want to hurt them. I didn't want you to sabotage the show. They don't deserve that."

"It happened to me. I couldn't stand to see it happen to you. Now they will-"

"Sabotage the show?" Mayor Dewey stepped up to them, and they broke apart. He had heard the end of their exchange, "You're a gem. You did this?" He pointed to the speakers that were now sparking. The crew was trying to repair them, but chunks of the crowd had already started to walk away. Sour Cream was watching them leave, and he put his head down against one of his drums.

Steven wiped his face. The concertgoers around the Mayor had overheard him. His voice tended to carry. Everyone was now turning to the small green gem.

"This girl sabotaged the show!" A voice called out behind Dewey.

The band came up in front of the stage as the words spread quickly through the crowd. The anger in the mob grew like a rising wave. Sadie was crying, and her face was a mix of betrayal and embarrassment. Peridot stood firm. There wasn't an ounce of regret that weighed her down.

Mayor Dewey was positioning himself between them and the crowd like a dam. He raised his arms up to keep them from spilling over, "Now hold up, there must be an explanation for this. We don't have to jump to conclusions."

Peridot shrunk away as another voice boomed from the crowd, "She's one of those crystal gems. Gem freak."

"She doesn't like music!"

"First they stole our water! Now it's our music!"

The crowd's rage threatened to topple the Mayor. Peridot's resolve was starting to crumble. She hadn't expected this kind of response. She raised her hands up to her chest and let out a whimper that only Steven could hear.

Steven stepped in front of her, "I did it!"

"Steven, no!" He felt a hand on his back.

The crowd leveled their gazes to him. Buck took his shades off as if looking at him with his own eyes would make him believe. Jenny hugged Sadie like she was protecting her from seeing a violent wreck. Sour Cream had already left the stage.

"I did it. I messed with the equipment."

Mayor Dewey blinked in confusion, "Steven? You? Why?"

"Because..." Dewey's face was contorting itself trying to understand. Not all the faces in the crowd were angry at him. Some of them couldn't believe that Steven would do this. They wouldn't believe him. They would blame Peridot as the likeliest culprit. He had to make them believe. He ignored the tug on his arm and steeled himself.

"Because...Rising Tides SUCKS!" There was a roar of surprise behind the Mayor. He wouldn't be able to control them now.

Steven summoned his shield, and the crowd fell back with a gasp. Then he ran. He ran until his heart thudded in his chest. The light from the bonfire dimmed until it no longer lit his path. Tears stained his cheeks, and the clamoring of the crowd faded away. The lighthouse loomed above him, its light since extinguished. In the moonlight, the limbs of the temple statue cast shadows of large serpents on the snow. Their nubby heads poised to strike any that came near. He collapsed to his knees in the snow. He stretched out his arms and cried for the serpents to take him. But he knew they wouldn't. Movement from within the house stirred at his call to help him instead. Their nest was his.

A small voice behind him called out, "Steven...wait…"


	5. What You Will Become

"I knew it. I knew that you two spending so much time together would get him into trouble."

"Steven...please open the door. I'm sorry. Let me explain."

"And I had a bad feeling about you going with him to see Greg. But did I say anything? I should have. I should have said something. But he was the happiest I've seen him, and now this. How could I not see this?"

"Steee-man. You can talk to me. I'll tell these goofs to go away."

There was a sharp rap against the bathroom door, "Steven, honey? Let me in, okay?" The gems shuffled behind the door waiting to hear his response.

He got up off the floor where he had discarded his coat. "I want to talk to Garnet. Is she there?"

"I'm here, Steven."

Steven put his hand on the knob, and his fingers hovered over the lock, "Only Garnet." The door clicked. He edged it open, and Garnet slid in. She stooped down so she wouldn't mess up her hair. The door shut and clicked again behind her. He slumped against the door and slid down to the floor in a heap. Garnet took up a place across from him sitting cross-legged. She filled the space between the sink and the wall almost completely, but she didn't look uncomfortable at all. She took off her shades, when she smiled the creases of her three eyes wrinkled.

Steven peered over his shoulder. Behind him, on the other side of the door, was the scuffle of feet, and elbows jabbing into sides to try to make room.

"Alright, everyone give Steven and me some space to talk," Garnet said frowning at the door. With a few grumbles and groans, Steven could hear footsteps leaving to the living room. He looked back at her satisfied, but Garnet's scowl deepened, "Peridot...you too."

"Nyeh." A pitter-patter of feet and a growl later and they were finally alone. Garnet smiled again, and she folded her hands in her lap. He could see Sapphire's eyes resting on him through Garnet. She held a patience for him that was as deep and as reverent as to the Diamond she used to serve. She awaited his thoughts so she could be his counsel.

He brought his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, "Is it my future that I am supposed to live apart from other humans? Am I going to be alone?"

She was quiet for a moment as if she was consulting a higher being, then she said, "You won't be alone. And you will have other human friends." Her words echoed in the bathroom as if it were a temple. Garnet looked like a monk sitting on the floor like that. If anyone needed wisdom from the universe, it was him right now.

"Did your future vision show you that?"

"No. My Garnet instinct told me."

"Please." He begged, "I have to know. Can you use it for me? Tell me if my friends are going to hate me forever?" There was a hesitation that Steven rarely saw from Garnet. Now that he thought of it, maybe he had never seen her hesitate. She knew what came next and she just did it.

"I can't."

He sat up, "What do you mean you can't? You won't do this for me?"

"It's not that I don't want to, Steven. I haven't told the other gems yet."

"Told them what?"

Garnet lowered her gaze to a spot on the floor, "Since we've gotten back from dealing with the cluster, I haven't been able to see your future clearly. When I try, I don't get anything that makes sense to me. It's all jumbled. I don't know what to do about it, but I do know that your future has many different ways that it could go right now. The choices you make at this point in your life will have a major impact."

Steven's eyes widened, "So that's why you've been so distant lately. You're trying not to influence anything because you can't see what effects you'll have?"

Garnet nodded.

A major impact? Like the impact of bombing his friend's concert? What other choices would he have to make? He could have already made some of them and hadn't realized it.

"Well, what do you see? Maybe I can make sense of it."

"I don't think it will help." She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

He lowered his head. His future was so dismal that even Garnet couldn't tell him anything about it. Maybe he didn't have any future, and that's why she saw nothing. Well, she did see a jumble, and that did seem right. He felt the faint touch of Garnet's lips on his forehead.

He jerked his head up, but the smack of her lips had sent him into another realm. It was like he had been dropped into a dark well filled with ink. It was a cavern but without walls. He looked up and around at a starless night sky. His feet touched a solid surface, but he could hardly call it ground.

"Garnet?" He called out, his voice shaking. There was no reply as the darkness swallowed the echo of his voice. It was like standing in an abyss, the maw of some inconceivably enormous monster. Had he been right? If he didn't have a future, this was as terrifying as it should be.

The ground beneath his feet rumbled, and he waved his arms at his side to keep balance. In front of him, from no discernable door or hole, a giant yellow diamond emerged. It was the gem only, but it was as big as the real Yellow Diamond. It towered over him suspended in the air, its authority here absolute.

As it spoke, the gem illuminated from within with each word, "So, you return. I care not what form you take. You will pay for your treason." Arcs of yellow electricity began to generate and weave along the cuts of the diamond. Deep at its core, he could hear the charging of something massive. There wouldn't be time to run or even a place to run, and he could never hope to dodge a blast that immense. Steven raised his arm to summon his shield, but it didn't appear.

The diamond spit the bolt at him like a serpent spitting venom. Its heat charged and cracked the air. He closed his eyes as he saw it race toward him. There was a deafening explosion and a crackle. Steven flinched, but nothing had hit him. He could hear the sizzle of electricity above his head. Had he bubbled? He opened his eyes slowly.

Above him, an amber arc of lightning had clashed against the diamond's yellow one. They crackled and scraped against each other as if they were swords made of light. Their struggle lit up the darkness with flashes of gold and orange. He gasped at the light show they created. They moved so fast that it looked as if two ribbons were twirling in the air.

A feminine voice answered the diamond's call. It sounded familiar. So familiar it could have belonged to Pearl or Amethyst. But it was a voice he had never heard until now. He couldn't understand how but he knew that it was coming from the bolt of amber that had saved him.

"We are stronger than you." It's words shot through the darkness like rays of sunshine. The yellow energy bolt whipped and snapped at the other like a viper. The amber light flitted away and danced as if it was having fun playing. With one deft strike, Yellow Diamond's bolt exploded. It was so powerful that it blinded him and he had to shut his eyes. The oppressive presence of this place was dispelled, and in its place, he felt such love that he couldn't explain. It rendered him speechless. The amber light let out a laugh of pure bliss that filled his chest until he couldn't help but join her. He choked out a teary laugh that merged with hers. Goosebumps ran up his spine. In this moment everything felt right and in its perfect place.

He was determined to get another look at it even if it burned his eyes. He opened them, but the only light came from the bathroom. Garnet was in front of him, her hands cupping the sides of his face. He looked up at her and tears slid down his cheeks. The amber light had stirred something inside him. That part of him reached out to connect to it. Her laughter drained from his chest and left him hollow again.

"What was that?" He whispered.

She looked down at him, and her face was solemn, "What you will become."

The bathroom door opened and Garnet walked out first. Peridot was sitting on the couch with her legs forming the shape of her gem. She wasn't wearing her sweater. It was crumpled on the seat beside her as if she didn't deserve to wear the uniform. Amethyst, who had been laying on the floor, rolled over on her stomach to look up at Garnet. Pearl shot up from her seat on the couch, a hand to her chest, holding a breath until she could lay her own eyes on Steven. He came after Garnet. The evidence of his crying had already been wiped away.

"Steven! Thank goodness." Pearl ran over to him and threw her arms around him, "Peridot explained everything to us. I can't believe it. Well, I can but I just…" She pulled away with him still in her arms so she could get a good look at him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

Amethyst got up and came over joining in on the hug so that he was surrounded. Peridot now sat by herself across the room from them. She brought her knees up to her chest and looped her arms underneath.

"You got mad skills dude. I don't know how they made a band without you," Amethyst said.

"But that doesn't excuse Peridot." Pearl threw an accusing glance in her direction. Peridot shrunk under the weight of the glare. The way she recoiled reminded him of the crowd. The way they hurled those same accusations. She was guilty. It was true, as true as the decree that Yellow Diamond had put upon him in the vision. But again, the need to shield her as he would himself was instinctive. He had resolved to help her find her place on Earth. He wouldn't abandon her. She hadn't abandoned him.

"I would like to talk to Peridot by myself," Steven said.

Pearl looked down at him, "Whaaat? Alone? That's the last thing you need!"

"I think we should give him some time," Garnet said standing behind him. The finality of her words gave Pearl pause.

"You're going to be alright?" The tall gem asked.

He nodded, "I'll be fine."

Garnet combed a hand through Steven's hair, "Alright, let's give them some space."

Amethyst put her hand on his arm, "It's okay bro. The heat will die down, and they'll forget all about it. If anyone gives you trouble just let me know and I'll handle them." She took her place beside Garnet.

Pearl looked between Steven and the other gems. She couldn't believe leaving him alone with the very person that had caused the problem was a good idea. She huffed and stamped her foot as if venting her frustration to no one in particular so that she wouldn't have to toward Garnet.

"Fine. Goodnight, Steven. But if you need anything don't hesitate to ask. I'm a door away. If you can't sleep, I'll make a spot for you in my-"

"Pearl," Garnet interrupted.

Pearl gave him another hug and squeezed him as if it would be the last time she would ever see him again. Garnet left, and then Amethyst. Finally, Pearl stood at the threshold of her room. The fountains lay behind her that never ceased.

"Anything," She reminded him. She waited for a moment as if at once he would remember that he needed something after all and she could stay.

"Love you Pearl, Goodnight."

The wrinkles in her brow relaxed, and her lip trembled, "I love you too, honey." The temple door closed. He was alone now with Peridot at his back.

She slid off the couch and her feet padded against the floor. He turned around, and she stood in front of him fidgeting. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to be upset. But with Peridot's gaze nailed to the floor as if she didn't deserve the right to even look at him. He couldn't summon any of it. At times like this, he almost wished that she saw him like the other gems. He had tried to impart that they were equals, but it seemed embedded into her as deeply as her gem was set.

"I'm so sorry, Steven." She said. She stood firm and apologized for something he knew she would do over and over and over again. A duty to him he felt that he didn't deserve, but oddly it always drew him ever closer to her. It wasn't the iron wrought discipline of a knight. It was a wild and chaotic force. It could get angry. It could burn as hot with love as it could with rage. Something about those extremes was what Steven loved about Peridot the most. Her intensity. Now, it was almost like she was apologizing for her nature. Then how could he blame her?

Her head was bowed awaiting his edict.

She froze as he wrapped her in a hug and drew her close, "I'm not a Diamond, Peridot. I'm not going to punish you."

She went limp in his arms and held him back, "But I ruined everything. I made it all worse."

"I don't know what is going to happen now, but I know whatever it is, we are going to do it together."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Garnet showed me something tonight. Something I can't explain. Maybe this was all meant to happen. I can't be sure."

"Do you mean that? You still want me?"

He pulled away, and her blue eyes twinkled back at him without her visor. He blew out a chuckle venting the turmoil of emotions inside him. They battled until all there was left inside him was the truth, "You're my Peridot, aren't you?"

She barely moved her head when she nodded, and she pushed her upper lip down against the bottom one, the corners of her mouth turning up slowly.

"But we have to do it like partners. Together. Like with the cluster. Alright?"

When she nodded again, it was more self-assured. She put her hand on her other arm, "Does this mean you forgive me?"

"I need some time." He looked up at his bed, "And some sleep." He was exhausted physically from the events of the night, but it wasn't only that. He felt drained. Garnet's future vision had never left him feeling like this. His laugh with the amber light had drawn something from him. He was spent.

Peridot gave him a quick peck on the cheek and then walked over to switch out the lights for him. Steven dragged himself up the stairs, and Peridot took up her seat on the couch. He pulled off his shirt and changed into pajama pants that were covered in breakfast friend characters. He slid under the covers and propped his head up to watch the snow outside start to fall from his bedroom window.

The only light again was from the fireplace and...there was no reflection of the screen. He turned over on his side facing the stairs and rose up in bed. Peridot's fingers weren't drumming on the tablet or working on a robonoid. There was silence except for the crackle of the fire. He sank back into the pillow. He didn't know what to do. His eyes were heavy. He went to close them, but he heard soft padding like socks against hardwood. The moonlight fell just before the top of the stairs. He could only see the silhouette of a small figure. His eyes moved up to identify Peridot's pointy hair, but it wasn't there.

The mattress lowered as she crawled under the covers. A milky white beam of light from the window lit up her blue eyes. From the top of her head flowed wavy blonde hair. It cascaded past her neck and down her shoulders like the beautiful flow of Pearl's fountains. She scooted forward, and his hands were drawn to her hips as if they had always belonged there. She moaned when he grabbed them. Without a thought as if something else drove him he pulled her closer with her hips pressed against his.

"Peridot…" He whispered. It was almost a question, but he didn't want it to be.

"I like this." She reported to him softly. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Through her v-neck uniform, he could feel her small breasts press into his chest. Her restless energy was in his arms now. His hands held it in complete control. The side of her small nose nudged against his as she locked her lips with his. She was that chaotic force again. Ignited with a need. Her lips pushed into his hard, and he pushed back.

"Thank you for fighting for me," He breathed to her between kisses.

Steven ran his fingers through her hair, and she tilted her head back as he tugged it gently. It exposed her neck to him, and he brought his lips there. When he sucked softly on her sensitive skin, she arched her back and let out a small squeal before catching herself.

"Keep doing whatever that is." She said.

He continued a path of kisses along her throat and sucked softly as he moved to each new spot. His fingers were gliding through her hair that seemed as soft as silk. When he kissed under her chin, she wrapped her legs around his waist locking them together. As her legs brought him close, there was a pink light that shined from under the covers. The heaviness that he had felt in his gem earlier lifted and it made his stomach tingle. Peridot's hand disappeared under the covers, and he felt her small delicate fingers trace the gem. Her touch was feather light as if she might tarnish it and as she looked down at it, a lock of blonde fell in front of her face. Her lip quivered, and her eyes swirled with curiosity and awe.

"Together," Steven said.

"Together," Peridot affirmed as she brought that look up to him, the pink glow from his gem casting a blush on her cheeks. He couldn't tear his eyes away from hers.

The glow faded away leaving them both in the dark with each other. He felt at peace. The warm embrace of the small green gem tugged at his eyelids. She leaned her head against his, and he could he feel the smoothness of her gem. He shut his eyes. He wanted more. But his body pulled him down into sleep.

* * *

Steven's eyes fluttered open, and he couldn't feel the weight of Peridot's legs around his waist. He groped around in front of him and patted at the covers, but there was nothing but blanket and pillow. She was gone like a dream. He sat up in bed. The morning light was reflecting brightly off the snow outside. The smell of coffee wafted up to him. He scooted over to the edge of the bed. The faintest hint of warmth was there.

He peered down to the kitchen. Pearl was there making a pot of coffee. She noticed him right off smiling and waving up to him.

"Good morning Steven. I hope you're feeling better. Come down. I'll have breakfast ready soon."

"Good. I'm starving." Amethyst said from below somewhere on the couch.

"You should still be full on cookies. I hope you are because you aren't getting any of this." Pearl snapped.

Steven grabbed a handful of empty sheet in his hand and groaned. He got up and stumbled his way downstairs.

Amethyst whistled, "Lookin' good little man." She flexed her arm, and it shapeshifted into a bodybuilder's bicep. "I can tell all that working out you did paid off."

He patted his chest, but there was no shirt. He had been so tired he hadn't even felt like putting one on. A hint of a smile tugged at his lips as he remembered how great it had turned out that he hadn't.

Amethyst grinned, "Hey, don't let it go to your head."

Pearl waved a hand from the kitchen, "He is handsome."

"He looks like Greg used to at that age."

"I don't think so at all." Pearl protested.

"C'mon, Greg used to be…"

"Please," Pearl said.

Steven held up his hands and rushed to the bathroom.

"Now see what you did? You embarrassed him."

"Me?"

Steven closed the door behind him and locked it. The shower curtain was pulled back as he had left it. He half expected Peridot to be sitting there, maybe hoped she would be. What was the plan if she had been? Wasn't he supposed to be mad at her instead? He couldn't be.

Steven showered and got dressed for the day pulling on a star t-shirt. He came downstairs as Pearl was placing a stack of blueberry pancakes on the bar. Amethyst was nowhere to be seen. Pearl had been serious about the no breakfast thing. He took a seat and a sip of coffee before digging into a piece of the pancake. She had even taken the time to butter it and drizzle syrup on it for him.

"You look like your feeling better today?" Pearl probed with an innocent smile.

"I am." He said. He could tell that Pearl wanted more. "Where is Peridot?" He asked before she could question him further.

Pearl frowned, "She left early this morning for the barn. Said she needed more spare parts for a drone. I don't know why. The one she used to threaten Jamie with seemed to work just fine. Did you work out what you needed to with her?"

He swallowed and raked his fork against one of the fluffy patties, "Yeah. She apologized, and we talked it over."

She put her hands on her hips. "You should tell her to go and set things straight with your friends. Tell them what really happened. It's not fair to you."

"Maybe. But my friends have known me for a while. They haven't met Peridot before. First impressions are important. I didn't want everyone to think she was bad."

Pearl shook her head. She was eager to change the subject. "We are headed out to search facet twelve for Jasper today and to place another sensor there. You can come if you want but I'd understand if you wanted to take the day to relax."

"No. That sounds perfect. I need something active to do. It will be a good way to get my mind off things."

Pearl left the kitchen and made her way to the temple door, "Well we are leaving soon after you've finished breakfast." The door slid open to Pearl's room, and she paused, "Steven?"

He turned around in his seat, "Yeah?"

"Have you seen my metronome? I noticed it was missing. I know you borrow it from time to time."

"Nope. I didn't grab it."

She groaned, "I'll have to ask Amethyst. It's probably on one of her junk piles."

Pearl left, and Steven resumed his breakfast. At last, when he had finished his coffee, there was a knock on the door. He turned in the seat to look. A knot tightened in his chest. What if it was one of his friends come to give him a piece of their mind? Maybe it was someone from the concert, pitchfork in one hand and torch in the other. He got up and crept to the door. He put his eye up to the peephole and then immediately threw open the door.

Standing in front of him on the deck in a fur-lined blue coat with matching fur boots, was Connie. She had gotten rid of the glasses a long time ago, but everything else was the same including her long dark hair that was tied with a ribbon behind her head. She smirked at him, apparently expecting to be a surprise.

"Connie…?!"

She stepped up and hugged him, "Hey jam bud."

He squeezed her back and smiled as they parted. "How are you here?" He said, still in shock.

"I still forget you're not used to how school works. It's Christmas break. Duh." She swayed from side to side, "I got in last night, I wanted to come by and spend the day with you. I mean if that's okay? I'm here for this week."

He waved her in, "Come in. Of course, it's fine. I'm so glad to see you; you don't even know."

She giggled as he shut the door behind her, "I've only been gone a semester, Steven."

"Yeah, but it felt like forever. I have so much to tell you. Coffee? Soda?"

"No, thanks." She sat down on the couch. "So tell me. What have I missed? And don't leave out any details. I rode all the way here thinking about what you and gems could have been up to."

Steven chuckled, but it trailed off at the end as he thought of the details he would have to leave out for now. He sat next to her and started to tell her the things he could. At least to catch her up on the events she missed. He told her about the cluster and Peridot coming to Earth with Jasper and Lapis. He recounted the battle between Alexandrite and Malachite. And finally, he told her about his adventure to the mantle of the Earth with Peridot and how they managed to bubble the cluster before it fused.

Connie listened and asked questions. She gasped and cheered at the good parts. Groaned and grumbled at the bad. At the end, she said, "I have missed a lot. I wish I could have ridden in that drill with you."

"Well, it only seated two."

"And now Peridot is a crystal gem, and she stays here with you all?"

"Yep. I can't wait until you meet her."

"Does she have a room in the temple or…"

Steven went quiet before answering quickly, "No."

Connie opened her mouth to ask another question, but it was drowned out by the blast of the warp pad. They both turned to look. Peridot was standing on it, but she didn't have any parts with her. Her hair was once again in its perky pointy shape, and she was wearing her star sweater.

"There she is," Steven said smiling.

"Oh, hi." Connie waved.

Peridot blinked as if she was still under the effects of the warp. She looked between them both sitting together and raised her hand, "Hello." She took a few cautious steps off the pad toward them.

Steven held out a hand toward Connie, "This is Connie. She's back on break for a little while. She came to hang out. I was just telling her all about the cluster and you."

Peridot relaxed and smiled with recognition, "You are one of his human friends. It is very nice to meet you."

"Yep. I'm his best friend." She announced proudly.

For a moment Peridot's eyes darted to Steven. In them was a look of disappointment on her face as if Connie had just stripped off a title or rank from her that she cherished dearly. It only lasted a moment before the gem caught herself, "Ah." She said. Steven looked back at Connie. She hadn't even seemed to notice.

"Steven says you're super smart and you have metal powers and you can fly!"

Peridot forced a smile, "Yes. I do indeed possess all those traits."

Behind her, the temple door opened.

"I know you took it. You probably lost it!" Pearl said as all three of the gems stepped out of the portal that led to Amethyst's room.

"I didn't take your stinkin' metrowhatever. What am I going to do with that?"

"Put it on one of your-" Pearl was rooted to the ground, and she lit up when she saw Connie. Steven wondered if they would have to set up a Christmas tree after all, "Connie! My goodness! Are you back?"

Connie stood up and ran past Peridot to give Pearl a hug.

"Connie's back on Christmas break. She came to hang out today, but she's only here for a week." Steven answered for her.

"Oh, it's so good to see you." Pearl gushed.

"Yeah, girl. How's school?" Amethyst asked.

Connie shrugged, "It's okay." Then she smiled slyly, "Not as cool as hanging out with you guys."

"Welcome back, Connie," Garnet said with a measured tone.

Connie was soon sucked up into another catch-up session as the gems asked her questions, and she needled them for details that Steven might have left out in his retellings. Peridot stood between Steven and the group. Her back was to him, and she watched Connie and the gems. The laughter and the roar of their conversation grew louder. Her name was tossed among the details of the stories, but Peridot didn't step forward to join them. She turned away and walked over to Steven plopping down on the couch next to him. She didn't say anything. She lowered her head and stared at the coffee table with her feet dangling over the side of her seat.

Steven leaned over. He set his hand on hers on the couch. It startled her, scrambling her thoughts. She turned her features up to him as if he had the answer to a question she had yet to ask. Was too afraid to ask. He answered it anyway.

"Together." He said.

She held the answer close to her chest as if it would fly away or flutter toward Connie and become enchanted with her as the gems were now. "Together." She said, the top of her lip curving with the delight of a secret.

While Connie and the gems talked, the warp pad started to flash red. Everyone turned to it, and Pearl walked over to inspect it. A white crystal pillar jutted itself out of the pad. She put her hand on it to give it recognition. A screen appeared not unlike the one that Peridot use to have. It displayed a map of the sensors that Peridot had made for them to place around the locations of the warp pads. One was flashing red now, in the Beta Kindergarten. Steven and Peridot got up from their seats and joined everyone else behind Pearl.

"A corrupted gem set it off. It's not Jasper." Pearl dismissed the pillar and the screen dissolved, "We still need to search facet twelve for Jasper first, then we can deal with the corrupted gem after."

Connie stepped up to the warp pad. "What if Steven and I go poof the corrupted gem? You guys could look for Jasper. It will be like old times." She looked back at Steven with a smile, "We can handle it."

"Yeah! That's a great idea. I wanted some action today." Steven said.

Pearl looked at the both of them, "Well if you're sure. I didn't want you to spend your vacation battling corrupted gems."

"It's no problem. Fighting with you guys is fun. Besides, I don't want my sword skills getting rusty." Connie said.

"I think it's a good idea. We need to find Jasper but if we wait the corrupted gem could have moved on before we get to it." Garnet said.

"Yeah, let em' go kick some butt," Amethyst added.

"Alright, you and Steven can go deal with the corrupted gem but if it looks too tough, wait until we get back." Pearl leveled an eye to Peridot, "Don't leave Peridot by herself."

With that, the three crystal gems warped to facet twelve. Steven ran up to his room and pulled his mother's sword from underneath the bed. He returned to the warp pad, and Peridot watched it exchange hands to Connie. They stepped on the warp pad together and the next few moments reappeared in the Beta Kindergarten.

The canyon was as cold as Beach City. A short layer of snow covered the rocks, but splotches of brown sandstone peeked through in certain spots. The three of them took the stairs down from the pad with Peridot taking up the end.

"It was a little farther ahead. North of the warp pad." Connie said. She led the way deeper into the canyon.

Steven had never been here before. Peridot had told him of its existence, but until now it had been a blip that inhabited facet nine. It was just as creepy as the Prime Kindergarten had been. He imagined they were all this way. To Peridot it was a job. She was a technician that made these places run smoothly. But to him, they seemed like dark laboratories. The kind that forged monsters and experimented on things they shouldn't. He had to admit that Peridot herself had come from a kindergarten. All the crystal gems had once as well. They were birthplaces. The only human comparison he could find for them were hospitals. He felt this way there too so it shouldn't have been a surprise.

"Maybe it's a tough one," Connie said, a hopeful tone in her voice. "If it is then we could fuse Stevonnie and take it down."

"I don't think it will be that hard." Steven said.

"Fuse?" Peridot asked.

The tremble in the small gem's voice made Steven's heart drop all the way down to his gem. He was afraid to turn around and meet the face that it belonged to.

"Yeah. Stevonnie is our fusion. We've done it lots of times to take down corrupted gems that were really strong."

"Steven...can fuse with a human?" Her voice cracked, "Lots of times?"

"Yep. It's awesome." Connie chimed.

Steven turned back to look at Peridot. She was on the edge of tears. She turned her face away from him quickly and gritted her teeth. He looked back at Connie, "I don't think we will need that." Peridot fell back even further following them from a distance. She stopped and pretended to be interested in an overturned injector, but he knew that it wasn't anything she hadn't seen a million times before. Connie didn't notice. She was too caught up in being a part of a corrupted gem hunt after all this time.

"Up ahead. Look." Connie said stopping and pointing at a hole in the canyon. Metal bars had been threaded through the rock to act as a prison for the corrupted gem behind them. The beast looked at them with feral eyes and snorted. It was green with red splotches all over its body. A thick mane of white hair covered its back and underside. It pressed its horns through the bars so that it could get a closer look at them.

"How could it have gotten trapped in something like that?" Steven asked.

"I don't think it did that to itself. It looks like someone locked it up." Connie answered.

Peridot caught up when she heard they had found something. She was behind them now peeking at the monster that was growling low at them.

"I bet Rose's sword can just cut through those bars like nothing." Connie said unsheathing the sword with a twang, "Then I can get a good shot at it."

"I can do it," Peridot said pushing through them both.

"I know Steven said you could move metal but those are some big pieces and they are wedged pretty good," Connie said.

"It will be easy." She growled.

Steven bit his lip and watched Peridot stomp toward the cage before Connie could say anything more. The small gem stretched out her hands and squinted toward the metal bars. The metal groaned at being forced from the rocks, and the dirt churned. The corrupted gem inside took a few steps back and eyed the green gem with interest. Peridot struggled and moved her hands up and down, but Connie had been right. Whoever had captured the beast, had impaled the rock face with incredible strength. Peridot stopped, and she was huffing.

"It's okay if you can't do it. Maybe Steven and I can-"

"I CAN DO IT!" Peridot shrieked, her voice carrying through the entire canyon. She squeezed her fists in rage, and instead of pulling the metal bars out, they were bent in half with such force that they snapped. It left a sizable gap for the monster to escape. It crouched low and stamped its foot eying each of them. "Uh oh," Peridot said. She leaped to the ground as it came ripping past her. It slid to a halt and shook its head with a grunt. Then, it trained Steven in its sight.

"Connie, try to get behind it while I hold it off!" He shouted.

As it came barreling toward him, Steven summoned his shield and dug in. Connie was running behind it to get a clear shot. The horns of the beast slammed into his shield, and it was almost enough to throw him over entirely. Connie leaped onto the beast's back and raised the sword high over her head to plunge it straight down.

The corrupted gem brought itself up on its hind legs and threw the girl off its back. Steven had been so distracted watching Connie hit the dirt that the beast took its opportunity. With a horn, it knocked his shield aside, and head-butted him in the chest throwing him to the ground. Then it stomped away and turned readying itself for another charge. After being imprisoned, it had no interest in running from a fight.

"Steven, it's too strong. We have to fuse to beat it." Connie said. She struggled to her feet.

He stood up and shook his head, "N-no. I can't."

She cocked her head, her mouth open and her eyes wide, "What?!"

"We don't need it!" He said.

The corrupted gem hurtled towards Connie again, and she barely managed to dodge its bucking horns. It swung around to Steven and charged. He held up his shield again, and the beast slammed into it. It dug its massive feet into the ground and pushed. He felt himself slipping. Connie had been right again. It had been too tough. But he couldn't fuse with her. The monster forced him down to one knee as it threw all its weight against the barrier. He felt his arm go and before the shield dropped he heard metal impale the gem's thick hide.

The beast exploded in a puff of smoke in front of him, and he fell over into the snow. The metal spike that Peridot had sent flying into the monster dropped to the ground. Both girls ran over to him.

"Are you okay?" Connie asked.

"Yeah. That was close." He said getting up and brushing the snow off his pants and back.

"What were you thinking opening it like that, Peridot? That was reckless. You could have hurt Steven."

"Me? Hurt Steven? I just saved him." Peridot snapped. She crossed her arms.

Connie frowned at Steven, "Well if you would have only fused with me it wouldn't have been so close."

"We didn't need it," Peridot answered.

Steven picked up the quartz gem and bubbled it. The three of them watched as it vanished in the air. None of them said anything more, and they started back toward the warp pad, but he could feel the tension in the air.

When they could see the platform that held the warp pad Connie spoke up again, "I feel like we've earned ourselves a trip to the Big Donut. What do you think?" She looked back at Steven.

"Uhhh...I'm not really in the mood for Donuts right now." He said.

She stopped, and Peridot almost ran into her, "What do you mean you're not in the mood? The Christmas donuts are your favorite ones. You get them every year. Sadie even stashes the mint ones just for you."

"I had a big breakfast that's all."

"Well, won't you come with me anyway? I haven't seen Sadie since I got back and I really wanted to see everyone while I was in town."

"I…" Steven swallowed. He couldn't think of anything else.

"Alright, what is going on here?" Connie looked between the two of them as if Peridot was in on whatever scheme this was, "First, you can't fuse with me and almost get mauled to death by a corrupted gem. Now, you won't come with me to see Sadie and pick up your favorite donuts. Tell me the truth, Steven."

Peridot looked at him. There was guilt there. And fear.

He sighed, "It's kind of a long story, but I'm not on good terms with Sadie...or Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream." Connie's eyes went wide, "They made a band, and they didn't want me in it, and then Peridot got mad, so she bombed their show and everyone got real mad and then I took the blame for her and now everyone thinks that I did it and now they all hate me." He took a breath, "Probably."

Connie glared at Peridot with the same fierceness as Pearl. Peridot looked away with her arms across her chest as if she had nothing to explain to the taller girl.

"How could you let Steven take the blame for that?!"

Peridot's arms fell to her side, and her jaw dropped, "Let him? I couldn't stop him. If I had the choice, I would have taken it myself! It didn't go right. I was trying to help him."

"Oh yeah. Help him. You really helped him alienate himself from the whole town!" Connie said throwing her hands up into the air.

"I was trying to help him get his friends back after they already abandoned him," She jabbed a finger up to Connie, "Just like the way you abandoned him!"

Connie gasped and froze, "I didn't abandon him. I had to go to school…I had to…"

Peridot arched her back and balled her hands into fists, "You come back here with your smiles and your laughs, and you think you can come back into Steven's life for a day, make it up to him, and then leave again when you feel like it?"

Steven took a step back as Connie growled, "What do you know about me and Steven? You just got to Earth, and he said you were a homeworld gem. You tried to kill him!"

"I know I'm the only one that loves him! Not you!" She shouted baring her teeth, but she was more than halfway through saying it before she could stop herself.

Connie recoiled. She looked between the two of them and as her eyes settled on the sweater that Peridot was wearing she remembered where she had seen it before. She spun around to Steven, "You…? And…?"

"Connie…" He began, but he had said enough.

Her face slowly turned back to the green gem, and her jaw tightened, "I can't believe Steven chose a gem over me. You're not even human…"

" _Steven_  is a gem," Peridot said. "You're just jealous that you aren't one, but if you were I bet you would be a shallow stratum, zeta kindergarten, clod!"

Connie laughed, and Peridot raised an eyebrow, "Steven is more human sometimes than most humans. You think you have his attention now but soon what you offer him won't be enough." Connie's voice was as sharp and exacting as the blade in her hands. Peridot's shoulders started to lower, and her fists unfurled at her sides. "You're not human. You won't understand him. Do you think that you can just read and research everything? You can't. You can't learn how to be human. You never will be." Tears rolled down Peridot's cheeks behind the visor. "He'll get tired of teaching what can't be taught. He'll tell you he doesn't feel the same way you do and leave you behind. Then, when you're broken, you'll have to find something else to fill the hole."

"...That's not true. I can learn…" Peridot squeaked. She was trembling, and her hands were pawing at the fabric of her sweater. Steven had looked into those eyes a hundred times over, and he could see that they didn't agree with the words.

"That's enough!" He shouted.

Connie turned to him, but Peridot ran for the warp pad. He started after her, but Connie held up her arm to stop him. The pad lit up, and Peridot warped away. He shouldered Connie off of him, "Why would you say all those things to her?! You hurt her!"

"I hurt her? She is going to hurt you, Steven. This isn't healthy. She's already ruined your friendships, and now she's trying to tear us apart. You and me. What we have left. She's not good for you!"

"You don't know. You haven't been here." He was pushing past her, and he headed for the warp pad with her following behind. The two of them mounted the platform. He held out his hand and closed his eyes interfacing with the pad. He searched for where the last warp had been headed. Facet five. The barn warp. He opened his eyes. Connie stood across from him. The anger had left her, all that remained was a mix of worry and sadness.

"If you keep going this way, you won't have anyone left." She said.

"Yes, I will." He answered, and she disappeared into the light of the warp as he sent her back to the temple. The pad underneath his feet started to rumble and charge again. He closed his eyes and beamed himself to facet five.


	6. I Wish That I Knew

Steven blinked away the haze of the warp from his eyes, but Connie's scowl was branded in his mind. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. Not again. Not like the night on the beach. The breeze had surfed the ocean and landed on their faces. The moon that night shined on them like a spotlight for two lovers to dance. Feet in the sand with the waves spraying its coolness on their ankles, Connie had kissed him. And he had jerked away, and when their eyes had met, that had been her face. It was the moment he had crushed her, and how long had she been limping without telling him?

In the snow, Peridot's footprints led a path to the door. When the green gem had grabbed him by the arms and had failed to kiss him, it had been different than that night. It hadn't been the perfect conditions or the time. He smiled to himself when he thought about walking her through her first kiss. But it was perfectly Peridot.

Steven walked alongside the footprints as if walking beside her. He looked over the barn. After Peridot's escape with the mech, she had busted a rather large hole in the side of the barn. Pearl had demanded she fix it. Any time that wasn't spent working on the drill, Peridot had dedicated to patching the wall and part of the roof. Her craftsmanship hadn't been shoddy, but she had managed to fall off the roof at least once. Steven skirted around the edge of the crater Peridot and he had made with the drill. It was filled in and covered in snow, but it was still deep enough to fall in.

He approached the entrance to the barn. One of the doors was tossed open leaving a gap big enough for only one person to fit through and above it hung the UUU space travel sign. Inside he could hear scrap and boxes being flipped and turned, the clanging of metal and rattle of parts. Under it all was a muttering, a grumble that was sometimes low and then got louder. It sounded like a boiling pot struggling to keep the lid on, and when it slipped, it would pop and hiss and toss things in random directions. With his hand against the door, he lingered there listening to Peridot simmer. What could he say? Before he could think it over, Peridot let out a wail that shook the barn.

He burst through the opening and Peridot was holding herself in the back corner of the barn rocking back and forth. When he came in she spun around and threw herself up against the wall and drew herself together.

"Go away!" She cried, tears streaming down from her blue eyes. She covered them sinking her face into her hands. She kicked her feet as if she could paddle backward even further away from him.

Steven took a few steps forward. It looked as if a meteor had crashed through the barn throwing everything into chaos and it had skidded to the spot where the small gem sat now. The only thing that had survived the impact was a crate in the middle of the barn. On top of it was Pearl's metronome. He edged around it and walked carefully over to Peridot. She was huddled there shuddering with a muffled sob. Steven got down on his knees in front of her, and she peeked an eye at him between her fingers.

"Hey, I'm here." He said, rubbing her arms.

"She's right," Peridot mumbled with a teary voice behind her hands. "It can't work."

"It can." Steven pulled her hands away from her face and took them in his own. "I love you, Peridot. I've never loved anyone like I do you."

A hushed shock came over her. She cupped his cheek with her hand, "Steven, you deserve so much better. Another human who will understand you."

"It has to be you." He whispered.

She shook her head, "I'll never be human. I can't be like you. I try to learn everything I can. I read all the time about human behavior. I study about handling these emotions I feel, but none of it ever makes sense to me." Peridot blinked away the tears in her eyes and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"I don't want you to be like me. I like you the way you are." He said.

"The only time I can understand is when you teach it to me. It always makes sense coming from you. You make sense." She sniffled and chuckled sadly, "I even tried to make a song like you said. I thought it would be perfect and I could sing it to you. But it's no good." She threw her arms down by her side, "I was just being a clod."

He took in a sharp breath, "You made a song?"

She nodded.

He scooted over next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She melted into his embrace and hung onto him as if he would fly away if she didn't tether him down with her small weight. Her head settled against his shoulder.

"Connie's wrong. I love teaching you everything, and I'm never going to get tired of it," He said.

She peeked up at him from the side of her eyes, "You won't?"

He smiled down at her, "No, silly. I love spending time with you because when I introduce you to new experiences, it's special every time. I get to be there with you and show you first sled rides, and first fires, and first baking, and first Christmas, " He chuckled awkwardly, "And the first concert."

She smiled back at him, but something dragged it down, "What if all the firsts run out...then what?"

He leaned over close to her, and she tilted her face up to meet him. He loved it when she did that. It was as if her features were tied to his words like a string and she would sway gently along with him wherever he led. No one listened to him as she did. He pressed a kiss to her lips, and she brought her hand up to his cheek so she could hold them together longer, "Then we'll make new ones." He whispered, "But I can't think of ever experiencing any of them without you anymore. You make them all feel simple and free. You approach everything the way most humans can never hope to because it's too familiar, and that's what I love about you the most."

Peridot wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Steven held her around her waist, and when her lips met his again, he pushed his tongue through to part them. She opened her eyes in surprise, but her mouth opened a bit wider trusting in his touch. He slid his tongue against hers, and she moaned in delight. Her fingers dived through his hair, and she tugged at it as he swirled his tongue around hers circling it.

Steven felt Peridot's tongue enter his mouth back as she experimented. She clutched his face with both hands as she kissed him and he let her guide him where she wanted. It was timid at first, but as soon as she felt his tongue wrap around hers, she gave in entirely. There was no wrong place to be. Every spot her tongue licked was just as intimate. When he felt her stick her tongue straight out, he wrapped his lips around it and sucked. Her eyelids lowered at the sensation, and she lolled back in his arms with her hands against the back of his head as if she wanted to pull him to the floor. She broke away slowly, her breath making long quiet sighs still hazy with rapture.

"I really really like that first." She said.

He laughed and rested his head against hers, "Won't you sing me your song?"

"You'll laugh." But a smile was playing at the curves of her lips.

"I won't laugh."

"It's cloddy. It needs more work."

"C'mon. Please? For me?"

She let out a whine and pulled away from him as if rolling out of a warm bed, "Fine." She got up and walked over to the middle of the room next to the crate. She stood in a precise spot like she had rehearsed in it for hours. The barn was dark except the light from the open door. Peridot's back was to it and it shined down on her like she was on a stage. Steven sat back against the barn wall and folded his hands in his lap. He gave her one of Garnet's thumbs up. Peridot bit her lip and then cleared her throat.

" _If I could begin to be_

_Half of what you think of me_

_I could do about anything_

_I could even learn how to love"_

Peridot met his eyes, and he couldn't just sit there. The sound of her voice slowly made him rise to his feet. His mouth open. She strummed that chord inside him, her words playing on his heart like harp strings.

" _When I see the way you act_

_Wondering when I'm coming back_

_I could do about anything_

_I could even learn how to love, like you"_

Steven stepped out into the light with her, and her face was tilted down with her eyes pointed up at him. She lowered her voice.

" _Love like you"_

Peridot stretched out her hands, and Steven took them.

" _I always thought I might be bad_

_Now I'm sure that it's true_

_'Cause I think you're so good_

_And I'm nothing like you"_

She shook her head, but there was a melancholy light in her eyes. The source of her restless energy smoldering beneath them.

" _Look at you go_

_I just adore you_

_I wish that I knew…"_

She swallowed, "What makes you think I'm so...spec…" Her voice cracked, and a tear rolled down her cheek, "Spec…" Steven pulled her into his arms, and she buried her face against his chest as she sung the last word. "Special."

He stroked the edge of her hair. Where his hand pressed, the strands laid down and as it drifted on, they sprung back up. He squeezed her tightly, "I can't tell you in words, but I can show you." She looked up at him, and he wiped her tear away with the back of his finger. "Do you trust me?"

When she nodded, her head barely moved as if captured by his suggestion.

Steven took her hands in his and swayed the two of them from side to side in a slow dance. She was beautiful even in her nervousness. Then, he twirled her in so that her back was to him and he held her from behind with their arms crossed. As he spun her out and dipped her, he brought their bodies close together. Peridot's gem started to shine brightly lighting up the barn. A pink glow radiated from underneath Steven's shirt. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers as she brought her hands up to his face.

Their bodies dissolved into ethereal light and merged. Their thoughts and feelings and love slamming into each other racing in the mind of one form. It was a tempest of the unspoken. It swept them up in its passionate fury. Together they spun around and around as if mixing their souls so tightly wound that there would be no way to tell where one began and the other ended. At last, there was only one thought, one feeling, and one love. Like the arms of a tornado, the rotation slowed, and it dropped them to the ground in a bath of amber light.

They hugged themselves with a dopey smile and cooed, "I love you." Steven had heard the voice that had spoken those words before. They held up their hands and giggled, and it grew into a laugh of bliss. Laughter that released everything but filled their chest until it felt like bursting as Steven had felt. But when it ended, there was no hollowness. The two of them fit together like perfect puzzle pieces that made the other whole.

They looked down at themselves. Their skin was the color of a lemon. An orange crop top hung off the shoulder fastened to them by a black strap that was tied around their neck. It ended in a v neck cut like Peridot's uniform with a star underneath. Blue jean shorts hugged their curvy hips, and golden stockings with stars on each knee covered her feet. They had grown taller but not by much. Shorter than Garnet but taller than Pearl.

A wicked grin spread across her face, "Yellow Tourmaline." She looked around frantically, "I need a reflective surfa- errr mirror." She ran to the nearest junk pile and started to rummage through it with all the experience of having gone spelunking in Amethyst's room. Dad's old alternator for the van. Nope. Rhythmatic pulverizer. Nope. Tourmaline held up a pair of ripped boxers in front of her face, and she gasped, "You looked amazing in those." She poked out her bottom lip into a pout, "Ohhhh why did I tear them off? They fit so snug." The fusion held them out at arm's length pinching them between her pointer finger and thumb.  _Even if I can lick it and fix them...I'm not._  She shuddered at the thought of previous owners and dropped them to the floor and dove back into the pile.

Tourmaline reached her hand into a box until she was shoulder deep and felt around. Her hand hit something she remembered. Dad's side mirror that the car wash had torn off because he had forgotten to fold them in. She grunted and pulled the mirror out from the bottom and smiled, "Yes! Victory."

With both hands shaking in anticipation, Tourmaline held the side mirror up to her face, and she gasped. She had an angular face similar to Peridot, but it had Steven's softer edges making it seem more delicate with a small nose. The two eyes that stared back at her from underneath a clear visor were a brilliant but mysterious looking amber. Her hair flowed in amber waves from the top of her head and stopped just above her shoulders.

She sucked in a breath, "You look gorgeous." Then she bit her lip, "Wow, thanks." Tourmaline set the mirror back into the box and sat down on the wood floor. "We sound cracked." She said matter-of-factly. She laid back with her hands underneath her head and giggled kicking her stocking covered feet in the air, "I think it's funny." Tourmaline smiled slyly to themselves. "I've never fused before. Let's really embrace it."

The decision was like tossing a rock in a still pond. Every ripple expanded out wider and wider carrying a hundred different thoughts and emotions. Under the surface of the water, the memories of the two of them churned together. Then all at once the ripples snapped back together like a rubber band and offered up a thought. Tourmaline shot straight up with a deep amber blush on her cheeks, "I never knew you loved my hips that much." She ran her fingers through her hair pulling at tendrils of amber, "You really like my hair? I can never get it to do what I want. Pearl offered to help but... No, Its messiness pleases me. A disorganized pattern."

Their feelings rose like a wave, and when it crashed over them, Tourmaline's eyes started to tear up, "Oh, Steven. You didn't fuse with Connie because of me. I was so afraid you had feelings for her." Tears pattered against the wood beneath them. "Can you feel how I feel about you?" Tourmaline closed her eyes and held her breath plunging deep into the pool. Completely submerged within each others feelings, Tourmaline nodded and her chest seized with a happy tear-filled laugh, "Yes." The warmth they felt when they held each other and kissed was burning now in Tourmaline as if her every move and word was fueled by its energy.

She wiped the tears from her face and smiled, "Does it have to end?" She stood up and put her hands on her hips. "We're just getting started."

Tourmaline summoned her shield. It resembled Steven's in its round shape and glossy transparency, but it was yellow. An amber zigzag was set in the middle in place of the rose, "Huh." She examined it before setting it down beside her.

"I always wanted to know what it felt like to have metal powers." Tourmaline said with a grin. She held out her hands dramatically and wiggled her fingers. A toaster rose from across the room at her command, and she made it spin and fly around the room. She giggled, "This is so awesome!" There was a rattle next to her foot. She looked down at her shield lying on the ground, and the moment the toaster crashed to the floor, it shook again. Tourmaline's mouth opened, "...wait."

She dashed out of the barn with her shield tucked under her arm. She slid to a stop in the snow and threw the shield as hard as she could in the air and held out her hand. The disc went flying and when she moved her hand the shield acted under her control coming back to her. She waved her hand up and down, and the shield bounced up and down as if dancing to a beat. Tourmaline shook her hips with its rhythm and snapped her fingers making the disc flip and spin in the air. "Best. First. Ever!" She said.

Then it gave them an idea. Did they have a weapon? The shield clattered to the ground without guidance. Tourmaline closed her eyes and made a pulling motion with her fingers near her forehead gem. She grunted, "Gaaaahhhhh C'mon. I really want a weapon." She waved her hand in front of both gems as if to set off a motion sensor. Nothing. "Arrgh."

Tourmaline held out her hand, and her shield returned to it and poofed. She looked around for something else to get into, and the warp pad stared back at her. She crossed her arms. They would have to go back eventually. The gems would wonder how the mission went. Connie might have told them the whole story. Or her version at least. She didn't want to go back. That meant defusing. The thought repelled them. It meant feeling that hollowness again. But what other option was there?

"We tell them," Tourmaline answered furling her brow. She took a step back, "Tell them?" She nodded, "I'm not ashamed of you. I want the gems to know." She put a hand on her other arm, "I don't know. What if they don't like me? I don't want to lose this...or you." Tourmaline stood up straight and squared her shoulders, "We won't. They have to accept...me."

Steven had held off telling them until he felt more secure in what he felt. Nothing seemed surer than this. It surprised him with the intensity. The idea of being defused seemed to him as foreign as being parted with his own gem. Tourmaline put her hand over the yellow quartz gem in her exposed stomach. "I know. I feel different when I'm with you too."

She stretched out her hand, and the metronome soared out of the barn and flew into her hand, "A gift couldn't hurt?"

Tourmaline walked to the warp pad. She interfaced with it and directed it toward the temple. The pad charged and rumbled under her feet. She closed her eyes. "Together."


	7. I Am a Conversation

The beam of the warp subsided into the pad, and Tourmaline held a warrior stance with her arms and feet spread out as if she was preparing to do battle. She looked around for her first challenger. The house was empty. She sighed, and all of the fight went out of her like a deflated balloon. She took a step off the pad. In front of her, abandoned on the ground, was Rose's sword. Her eyes followed the most logical trail to the front door, which had been left ajar. Tourmaline set Pearl's metronome on the kitchen counter and approached the weapon. She crouched down to pick it up. She cradled it in her arms, and her amber eyes came to rest on its hilt.

"This is my fault." She brought her gaze up to the door, "But you hurt me so much."

Tourmaline went to the front door. The cold air was now invading the house through the breach, but she couldn't feel it. The sensation registered in her mind, but unlike a human, she was disconnected from it as if observing the feeling from a distance. She could choose how to react to it. She shut the door. It felt numb. With the sword in one hand, Tourmaline climbed the stairs to Steven's bedroom. She knelt down and returned it to the spot underneath the bed, then stood up.

"Now I know why."

The warp pad behind her lit up and Tourmaline spun around to face the three gems that materialized. She made her way down the stairs to meet them.

"Well that was uneventful, I do hope that Steven and Connie have made better progress," Pearl said to Amethyst. The short gem wasn't looking at her, staring at the fusion instead. Garnet was frozen in place with her mouth open in what Tourmaline could only guess was surprise. They weren't sure they had ever seen it on her before.

"What are you…" Pearl followed Amethyst's gaze, "AHHHEEGHHH!"

Amethyst, without a moment's hesitation, summoned her twin whips and snapped them in the air with a crack, "You picked the wrong house to bust into."

Tourmaline held up her hands, "Wait! I'm…" She blinked, "Uh…"

Pearl's eyes bounced from Peridot's gem to Steven's gem like a pinball machine. Then, she finally managed, "S-Steven?!"

"What? Steven?" Amethyst's whips drooped like a pair of sedated snakes.

"And Peridot," Garnet answered with barely contained glee.

Pearl held up a hand to her mouth and stuttered a few words, but at the end of it, all she managed to do was prepare a fine word salad. Finally, she looked with desperation to Garnet, "What do you make of this?" Garnet was grinning so hard that her shades could have shattered. Pearl groaned, "Not again."

Amethyst squeezed her cheeks together, "They're adorable!"

Tourmaline put her hands on her hips, "I'm not adorable." She growled.

Amethyst snickered, "Yep, Peri's in there somewhere."

The gems gathered around the new fusion to take a closer look.

"So the corrupted gem was tough enough that you two had to fuse?" Pearl asked before realizing that they were missing someone, "Wait, where's Connie?"

Tourmaline lowered her head, "She left. She was hurt that Steven chose me over Stevonnie."

"Chose you over…?" Pearl's eyes widened, and she shook a finger at them as if they were a ghost who had manifested in front of her, "You two are…"

"A couple?" Amethyst gasped, "That's soooooo cu-"

Tourmaline glared at her, "Don't say it."

Garnet lifted the other fusion off the ground in a bear hug and swayed them side to side.

Pearl watched in horror, "Wait. I knew you two were spending so much time together but this?"

After Garnet set her back down, Tourmaline ran a hand through her amber locks pushing a bang out of her face. "I was waiting for a good time to tell you all. I didn't know how you would feel about it."

"You guys look amazing together." Amethyst said, "What's your name?"

"Yellow Tourmaline." She answered proudly.

Garnet shot them a thumbs up with a smile.

Tourmaline blushed and crossed her arms hugging herself, "I didn't know you guys would be so accepting…" The pool that connected Steven and Peridot had been sloshing and turning over end to end. Now, all the ripples of agitation turned smooth until there was only one last wrinkle. She looked to Pearl. The tall gem was looking between the other two before she noticed everyone had brought their eyes to her.

Pearl forced a smile, and she held a gaze with Tourmaline. The longer it went on, the more Pearl's smile slowly melted sincere. She stepped forward and put a hand on the fusion's cheek, "Steven, I've been so worried about you. It hurt me to see how sad you were but I won't deny how happy you've been lately." Pearl took a breath as if she would tear up, but she swallowed it down, "All I ever want is for you to be happy."

Tourmaline wrapped her in a hug, and Pearl squeezed back. Amethyst and Garnet joined in too for a group hug. Tourmaline closed her eyes and sunk into the middle of the embrace. The ache that Steven held in his gem, the restless spirit that smoldered behind Peridot's blue eyes, lived inside Tourmaline. Deep under the still waters that held their combined wills, it dwelled in the abyss, and as long as Steven and Peridot held onto each other, it wouldn't come for them. It couldn't pull them down and drown them. For a moment, surrounded by the gems, the watchful eyes of that monster turned away.

"I love you guys."

"We love you too." They answered.

As they parted, Pearl looked troubled. She held a hand to her cheek, "I hope that Connie is alright. I know she's going to need some time."

"Me too." Tourmaline looked away.

"You should enjoy yourselves," Garnet said.

"Yeah. What do you want to do first, Tourmy?" Amethyst asked.

Together Steven and Peridot pored over the list of winter challenges yet to be completed. Now that they were fused Peridot could get an idea of how long the list actually was. Tourmaline put a finger to her lips in thought, and she eyed a vacant spot in front of the window seats. They had always put the Christmas tree there so that it could be seen from the front.

"We should put up the tree and decorate it. We're a little late this year." She said.

Pearl held her hands together, "That's a fantastic idea."

"We can pick up a tree from Ray's place," Amethyst added.

Tourmaline tilted her head, "Aren't we banned from there? You scared away the other customers when you shapeshifted your hand into an ax."

Amethyst waved it off, "That was last year. He's probably forgotten all about that by now."

Pearl held her hand up to her gem, and with a soft glow she pulled a thin stack of money out that was clipped neatly together. She made Amethyst take it, "Pay for it this time."

Amethyst swiped it out of her hand, "How was I supposed to know you had to pay for trees? They're practically everywhere." She spun around, "Ooo! I'll race you there, Tourmy!"

"And Garnet could you help me find the decorations? I swear I can't find anything in that junkyard that Amethyst calls a room." Pearl said.

"Don't clean it!" Amethyst called, almost to the door.

"Hey, the tree farm is miles away. How do you expect me to race you there?" Tourmaline asked.

"You're half Peridot. Grab the sled! Duh." Amethyst said as she ran out the door.

A grin began to spread across the fusion's face. She had one better. Tourmaline ran after Amethyst and Pearl called after her, "Be safe...you two."

Outside, the cockpit of a purple helicopter was giving them a toothy grin. Tourmaline had to hold up a hand over her eyes to see it, her amber hair fluttering back. Amethyst hovered off the ground. Her rotor blades were whipping the snow up around her into a frothy white haze. "I never get to use this!" She said, "You're going to race me on foot?"

The fusion flipped over the side of the deck and floated to the ground. When she landed, she summoned her shield.

Amethyst eyed it's new color from above, "Tangy."

Tourmaline broke into a run, and she threw the shield out into a spin so that it skidded across the snow in front of her. It popped and flattened into a perfect disc, and the fusion leaped onto it with both gold stocking covered feet as it lifted her off the ground and into the sky tearing past Amethyst.

"NO WAY!" Amethyst boomed, and she whipped herself around and flew after them.

Tourmaline soared into the air riding it like a wave up and up and up over Beach city. Peridot was feeding her information on how to hold her body in flight and the correct angles to hold the board so that she wouldn't slip. Of course, there was wind resistance, weight, thrust, and lift to contend with as well. All these facts and figures swirled in the fusion's head. The beating of Amethyst's blades followed right behind them. But as soon as Tourmaline reached her peak, those factors faded into the background. She looked over her shoulder with a grin to Amethyst, "Winner gets to chop the tree!"

And when Steven told her to: Just. Let. Go. She obeyed. As if standing on a tall diving board, Tourmaline leaped off her shield just as Amethyst had caught up behind her. She plummeted with her arms tightly held to her sides, the wind tossing her hair back. Her visor provided the perfect protection for her eyes against the stinging air, but she squinted anyway. Below, people had stopped to watch. They were pointing up to her, and some were trying to get out of the way. Falling simultaneously, and parallel to her body was her shield. It had shifted from a disc into a lemon colored surfboard. When she got as close to the ground as she could manage, an estimate both eyeballed and calculated, the shield slid under her stomach and lifted. She shot back into the sky like a bullet.

"Whooohoooo!" She yelled as a blast of snow exploded behind her covering cars and people and buildings alike. She didn't look back to see, she was flying. They were flying.

Tourmaline tilted her chin up still laying flat on the board. Amethyst had decided to fly straight when they had jumped to try to beat them. She had already made it past the city. They were about to lose her over the hill. The fusion wrapped her arms around the tower shield and held on tight as it zipped over the trees to catch up.

"Show off!" Amethyst shouted up ahead. She lowered her nose to pick up speed, but Tourmaline was faster. The helicopter's big eyes bugged out as the fusion flew up beside her, "What?! No fair!"

"Clod!" Tourmaline said laughing. She stuck her tongue out and zoomed ahead.

Amethyst struggled to keep up, and Tourmaline slowed down so she could stand back up on her shield to make the race closer. It was clear who had won. The rest of the trip they took at their own pace. At last, they could see a few buildings in the distance and the trees opened into a field. They had reached Ray's tree farm. Both of them slowed down. Amongst the rows of trees were others, who were browsing for a tree for their home. As they came closer, all eyes were on them with Amethyst's rotor blades making the trees underneath them shudder and sway.

Tourmaline landed softly on the ground in the midst of the short fir trees and the shield poofed underneath her. Amethyst shifted back to her usual form except a purple parachute attached to her back that made her float down to the ground.

There were murmurs from the other aisles, but an older man's voice howled over them as he came charging through the pines, "Crystals?!"

"Uhhh. Maybe he hasn't forgotten…" Amethyst muttered.

Ray crashed through one of the aisles into the one they were standing in. He was a short stooped old man, but he seemed to have all the energy of a kicking mule. A prickle of white hair lined the jaw that he was squaring up for them. When he stopped, the flaps of his red plaid trapper hat flopped around like the ears of a hound dog.

"Crystal Gals? I told you last time when you started waving that…" He held up his hand and chopped wildly into the air like a madman, "Whatever it was around, Y'all are banned!" He sized up Tourmaline with an ornery eye, and she gave him an awkward smile. "I don't care what color you comin' in. Yeller, purple, or green!"

"Please sir, we won't make trouble. We just need one tree, and we'll go off and get it where no one is around."

He was shaking his head making the hound ears flap around, "Oh, no. Ain't gonna' get off that easy."

"We'll pay you double what the tree cost!" Tourmaline blurted.

Ray stopped and put a hand to his bristles, "Double you say?"

Tourmaline nudged Amethyst in the shoulder with an elbow.

"Double!" Amethyst repeated bobbing her head up and down, "Heheh…" She rubbed her shoulder.

Ray gave them the price. The purple gem took out the wad of cash and counted out double. The old man snatched it from her hand and carefully counted it himself. When he was satisfied, he stuffed it in his pocket.

"Alright, go off yonder," He pointed to a corner of the field, "That's a ways off from anyone else. Those are Douglas Firs. Take one and don't make too much of a ruckus when you leave."

He spun around and disappeared behind a tree before they could say anything more.

"Score! Nice going Tourmy." Amethyst said.

They took off together and headed to the corner that Ray had pointed them to. They passed all types of trees of different sizes and thickness of needle. Peridot's extensive research on Earth hadn't landed on the subject of trees yet, but this trip made her consider it. The rich scent of pine soon transformed into the subtle but sweet aroma of the Douglas firs. Tourmaline took a deep breath through her nose and breathed out. "Steven, it smells wonderful."

Amethyst chuckled, "You talk to yourself huh? You're weird, but you are a fusion of Steven and Peridot, so I don't know what else I expected."

"I haven't got used to it yet." Tourmaline answered.

The conversations and laughter of the families behind them slowly faded as they went even deeper in the field. As soon as they were alone, Amethyst looked to Tourmaline.

"I knew you guys were together all along." She said.

"Did not." Tourmaline paused then she glanced down, "How?"

Amethyst turned around and walked backward with her head resting back in her hands, "It was obvious." Her eyelashes grew comically large, and she batted them at Tourmaline, "Oh, Steven! Read my romantic fanfiction, tell me what you think of it. Let me tell you all about how my nerdy tech stuff works." She clasped her hands together swooning and Tourmaline rolled her eyes, "Oh, Peridot, watch Crying Breakfast Friends with me and snuggle real close to me while we do." She cooed. Amethyst laughed.

Tourmaline's eyes darted away underscored with an amber blush, "Okay, I get it."

A tree shook as Amethyst bumped into it from walking in reverse.

They stopped, and Tourmaline looked down at her, "So why didn't you say anything?"

Amethyst frowned and then shrugged, "I don't know, figured you'd tell me when you were ready." She grinned, "Besides, I'm not going to rat you out to mama bird. Shorty Squad gotta' stick together."

The fusion pointed to the tree Amethyst had run into, "This one seems adequate."

"Well, you won the race fair and square. You get to chop it this year." Amethyst held her head to the side, "I know you and Peridot are doing these winter trial things, but you're fused. Does it count for her if you cut the tree down?"

From the abyss, Tourmaline could feel a pair of dark eyes come to rest on her back. Her chest tightened as its hand reached out to grab her.

"(We're)I'm not defusing!" Tourmaline suddenly snapped. She gasped and held a hand to her mouth. The voice that had come out had split into two. Tourmaline had been given the power to speak for both Steven and Peridot, but through her, their separate voices had shouted. As if they had both grabbed a mic and yelled into it, so that one overlayed the other.

Amethyst held up her hands and took a step back, "Whoa. I was just joking. What was that?" and then more worried, "Are you okay?"

Tourmaline nodded with her hand still over her mouth. She slowly brought it away, "I don't know what that was." At least she was relieved to hear her normal voice again.

Amethyst ran a hand through her mane nervously, "You said you were new to this. The fusion must have become unstable for a moment? But you didn't break apart?"

Tourmaline didn't know what it was, but she knew for sure that it wasn't that. Steven had experienced an unstable fusion with Connie before. This had been the opposite. The two of them had squeezed each other so tightly that the feeling of their separate identities had vanished and all that was left was Tourmaline flailing to keep their head above water. The fear of floundering in that darkness, all alone again, made their heart race.

"Yeah. I think so," Tourmaline answered her. "I'm better now." She was trying to catch her breath from a dive she hadn't made.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. We just had a disagreement about the trial thing. No big deal."

"Sorry about that. I was only teasing."

Tourmaline gave her a reassuring smile, "It's fine. Now let's cut down a tree shall we?"

Amethyst nodded, but she was still eyeing them. Tourmaline summoned her shield and held it out in front of her leveling it out into a disc. Spikes shot out of the edges creating a transparent yellow blade. The fusion held up her hands and rotated them in the air, and as they spun, the disc copied the movement until it became faster and faster. She held out her hands and guided the makeshift saw blade into the base of the tree.

"I'm loving that thing," Amethyst said. She watched the shield slice through the bark sending bits of splinter out that bounced off Tourmaline's visor. When the tree tipped over, Amethyst caught it before it hit the ground then laid it down carefully on its side.

Tourmaline put her shield away, "You can go Helithyst, and I'll fly it up to you."

Amethyst took a look around, "I need to find an open space. Pearl didn't give me enough money to pay double for all these trees. Be right back." She disappeared into the brush.

As soon as the purple gem left, Tourmaline buried her face in her hands, "What  _was_  that?" The thing that frightened them the most was that neither of them had an answer. If they asked Garnet, then she might suggest they defuse. No. Whatever it was had passed, and they were fine.

Before they could have another moment to think it over, the sound of Amethyst's rotor blades had already spun up in the distance, and they were buzzing toward them. Tourmaline summoned her shield and dropped it to the ground where it flattened. She took the tree in her arms and batted the needles out of her face then stepped on her shield. It rose up in the air like an elevator to Amethyst and Tourmaline slid the tree inside the open cabin. Purple straps shifted out of the floor inside, and the fusion used them to buckle the tree in. She got in and sat down next it.

"All set!" Tourmaline shouted over the roar of the propellers. She patted the floor of the cabin. Amethyst took off and the fusion held on.

* * *

"Phase one of the challenge has been completed," Tourmaline said. She locked the Christmas tree into the stand as Amethyst held it into position. In the living room, Pearl and Garnet stood beside a cardboard box labeled "Christmas Decorations."

Tourmaline looked back at the box and watched as Pearl and Garnet began to take the adornments out. She put a hand to her chin, "Hmmm." A smile grew on her cheeks. She held up her hands, and the ornaments and tinsel inside the box started to float out on its own. Amethyst got clear of the tree as the fusion guided the decorations over to it. With a wiggling of her fingers, the tinsel and ornaments spun around the tree in a colorful tempest of red, green, and golden blurs. The torrent slowed as the tinsel set itself down on the branches and the ornaments found homes for their hooks.

Tourmaline beamed at her work and put her hands on her hips. She looked back at Garnet and Pearl holding loose strands of tinsel and one left over ornament. They seemed disappointed.

Pearl pursed her lips, "We always decorate the tree together."

"Oh!" Tourmaline slapped a hand to her forehead, "I'm sorry guys."

Amethyst shrugged, "I thought it looked cool."

Tourmaline raised her hands again, and the decorations shed themselves off the tree and gathered up into a pile on top of one of the window seats. Together this time, they all decorated the tree. Pearl draped the tinsel and Amethyst, who was shapeshifted into a purple Christmas elf hung the lights. Everyone placed ornaments. In the pile, Tourmaline spotted one that was shaped like a mint donut. She picked it up and held it in her hand. It was a limited edition that had been sold a few years back by the Big Donut. They had been discontinued, but Steven had managed to get one from Sadie before they were all snatched up. She cast her eyes down at it and Garnet, who noticed, put a hand on her back. Tourmaline looked up at her and managed a smile. She hung the donut up.

Pearl tapped her on the shoulder, and when Tourmaline turned around the tall gem pushed a golden star into her hands, "Peridot...you should put the star on top."

The fusion's mouth fell open, and she stammered, "Really?"

Pearl smiled, but it looked more like a shy grimace of admission, "I mean, for the winter trials."

Before Tourmaline could say another word, Garnet was already hoisting her up over her shoulders.

"Whoooaaa," They kept their balance and held the star over the top of the tree. Through the fusion, Steven could feel Peridot reach out to plant it on top. As he watched, Tourmaline whispered in his ear and pointed to something he could only see through her amber eyes. As Peridot placed the star, Steven could feel her desperate hope. The hope that she belonged, the way she had when everyone had hugged the two of them and said they loved them.

The star glittered, and Tourmaline looked down at the gems below her. The proud faces of her new family were lit up with the red and green glows of Christmas lights.

Pearl clapped, "Well done, Peridot."

"Yeah P-Dot!" Amethyst said smiling.

Garnet put her down and ruffled their hair.

And nothing in the room shined brighter in that moment than Tourmaline.

Later that afternoon, after building snowmen with Garnet, Tourmaline decided to settle in and continue writing her fanfiction. Steven had kept up with it after Peridot had finally been brave enough to let him read it. It hadn't been bad, but her descriptions had been hilarious. The green gem had insisted that he not laugh because it wasn't supposed to be a comedy. He did his best to contain the fits of laughter at phrases such as: "they locked lips tighter than a gryoclamp" or "his eyes shined brightly like the star of system X6GL".

Tourmaline flopped on top of Steven's bed and curled her legs up underneath herself with the tablet in her hands. When she powered it on, she had navigated her way to the last chapter that Peridot was working on before realizing that everything that came before it was in gem language. It only occurred to her the moment she was forced to transition back to English.

"Oh, that's so cool. I can read this."

Tourmaline leaned back against a pillow making herself comfy and thought about what she would write for the next scene. Peridot became clear in her mind offering the images and words and before she could get started on writing that down another voice began to add to it. Steven offered his own insight and suggestions. And Tourmaline, dumbstruck for a moment, lowered the tablet as Peridot started to consider his advice. At once, Peridot decided that for him to help he had to know where the story was going. Then Tourmaline watched Peridot, with manic energy, go on to spoil most of her story for him. By the end of it, the green gem went silent in the fusion's mind. All of the bouncing, waving of her hands, running, speaking so fast that it would slur together, the wide eyes, the giggling, the laughter, the love, the outrage...it all settled. She let her other half soak in the details.

At first, Steven was disappointed because the mystery was gone, but to Tourmaline's surprise, as Peridot began to pick up again describing what she saw should come next he joined in with her. He could see the same image that she saw. Tourmaline merely passed it on between them quietly. She waited to see what the two of them would do with such information. With ease, if Peridot said something in the story was red, he knew immediately what shade, whether maroon or scarlet. It was as if they were painting a scene but both of them held the same brush, and it went exactly where they wanted it to go. With giddy excitement, they began to create all types of things. Tourmaline in anticipation raised the tablet back up to her face, and her fingers were poised to type. As she passed the notes between them quickly and quietly so as not to disturb either of them, their brainstorming session soon turned into dictation with both of them telling her what to write down. She transcribed what they came up with together, and with amusement she watched them become lost in the adventures of Pierre and Percy. This time, when Peridot ran away to escape there, Steven came too. The both of them, hand in hand.

Tourmaline giggled at a clever turn of phrase, and when she looked up, she suddenly realized that she was sitting in the dark. The tablet's display was the only beacon of light in the whole house except the fire that burned downstairs and the faint glow of the moon through the window. She looked back at the screen. In the corner, the time read 3:27 am.

"Huh, I'm not tired at all." She remarked, but she had to admit that she could use a break. She locked the tablet and set it down on the bed as she got up.

The fusion descended the steps. She flipped a light on, and her eyes were immediately drawn to the bag of robonoid parts sitting by the couch. It was all that remained after creating the drones. Steven asked Peridot what had been left over and she gave him the list as Tourmaline thought it over. An impish smile formed on her lips. She dragged the bag into the middle of the floor and dumped the parts and tools Peridot had used out. She sat down in the middle of it all.

"Leverage optimizer please." Tourmaline chimed as if an assistant was dutifully awaiting her orders. She held out a hand, and the screwdriver lifted off the ground and floated over into it. While Tourmaline's hands worked on assembling a frame, Peridot put together a working schematic for the device that Steven was now describing to her that he wanted to build. With delight, the green gem listened to him rattle off design ideas using her own terminology with the fluency of a trained and certified kindergartener. She had never had a colleague before, the job of a technician was solitary. The fusion's mind became their new lab. Tourmaline sat in the middle of it all with a rolly chair scooting back and forth between their desks passing on ideas or lingo as needed.

"Oh no, that won't work. This tube is too small to deliver the corn crunches accurately." Tourmaline scratched idly at the back of her head with the screwdriver as she scrutinized the half-built machine in front of her.

The temple door opened and the fusion looked up. Pearl stepped out of her room and looked at them and then to the three empty mugs near them that held a rind of cocoa on their rims.

"You two have been up all night?" She asked a little surprised.

"All night?" Tourmaline looked outside. The sun greeted her blinking eyes. It was just beginning to rise, "Oh. Heh. Guess we have."

Pearl shot a wary glance at the cube-shaped device in front of them that looked like a large toaster with one big slot in the middle, "What on Earth is that?"

"It's a together breakfast maker. When I'm done with it, you should be able to put all the ingredients in, and it ejects the result out here." Tourmaline pointed to the open slot.

"Well at least it doesn't sound like its dangerous or could possibly kill anyone. That's an improvement." Pearl said. Tourmaline wore Peridot's scowl, but Pearl ignored it and busied herself by tending to the fire that had almost gone out. The fusion had been so distracted she had forgotten to take care of it. Pearl went over and added a few new logs. "Whose idea was that contraption?" She asked and prodded embers with the fire poker in an attempt to revive the kindling. When she didn't hear an answer, she looked back over her shoulder at them.

Tourmaline was pointing an accusing finger with one hand to Peridot's gem on her forehead and with the other hand to Steven's on her midriff. The fusion gave her a wide grin.

Pearl scoffed, "Very funny you two."

Tourmaline giggled and went back to work.

The tall gem put a hand to her chin, "So Steven doesn't need sleep in there?" She asked, leaning on the word  _in_  as if Steven wasn't fused at all but instead stuffed in the trunk of a runaway vehicle.

"Nope. I'm not tired at all." Tourmaline said answering for Steven automatically. She measured the diameter of another tube she could use for the popcorn feed.

Pearl tended the fire. When she had it going again, she turned back to the fusion still working on the breakfast maker and crossed her arms, "Well, how long are you two intending to stay fused?"

Tourmaline's hands stopped moving, and she slowly looked up, her amber eyes piercing through the clear visor, "I don't know." Then she shrugged, "Maybe forever." She added casually and returned to the device.

When Pearl jerked her head back in shock, the fusion gave her a teasing smirk, but Pearl couldn't tell if they were joking or not.


	8. Strong in the Real Way

At first, the fusion was a dot on the horizon above Beach City. Garnet stood on the deck and watched the shape of Tourmaline and her shield grow larger. The robonoid that was attached to the house with its blocky body and telescope-shaped head, was behind Garnet. She could almost feel its cyclops eye scanning her for the hundredth time to confirm that she had not suddenly become hostile since scan ninety-nine. She hadn't. With a mechanical whirring, the robonoid craned its tube-shaped neck up to Tourmaline. Tourmaline was grinning at both of them and hooked over her shoulder was Steven's cheeseburger backpack. She slowed her disc down, and when she got close, hovered over the railing. Garnet and the robonoid followed her with their eyes as she stepped off her shield and onto the deck. The lemon-colored disc poofed away in the air.

"Welcome home Tourmaline." The robonoid said, mustering up what could serve as cheery despite its monotone voice.

"How are you, Howard?" She asked. She slung the backpack around off of her back and held it in front of her unzipping the top.

Garnet turned to both of them and observed their interaction.

"I have detected no hostiles since your departure. The home is safe." Howard reported. The reflection of light on its single lens almost seemed to make it appear as if there was a gleam of pride there.

Tourmaline pulled a couple sticks of RAM and a hard drive out of the cheeseburger and set the pack on the snow-covered wood of the deck. She looked over at Garnet, who was still silent, "Hey Garnet."

"Hey, you two." She answered. She said it casually enough, but Steven knew that face. Garnet wanted to talk.

Tourmaline turned back to the robonoid, "Okay, Howard I got a nice treat for you. These should help you save all that camera feed data somewhere. So open up."

Howard spun it's chassis around and the metal plating shifted to open as if it were a dog rolling over for a master. Tourmaline pushed through the wiring and found slots for the new parts.

"You gave it a name?" Garnet raised an eyebrow.

Tourmaline shrugged a shoulder, her face hidden behind a panel, "It was Steven's idea."

Garnet remained quiet and watched her work. Tourmaline frowned as Garnet's gaze only seem to deepen. Steven was used to this, and he usually hated it. When Garnet wanted to talk about something serious she would come to you and wait for it to happen as if you had been the one that actually requested to talk to her. He wasn't sure if it was her future vision; that she simply knew the conversation would start up eventually, or something more mundane like a general anxiety. Garnet could get nervous but it showed itself in oddities like this. Finally, Tourmaline decided to make the vision come true.

She sighed, "Something you wanted to talk about Garnet?"

She nodded and proceeded on time, "Pearl and I have talked it over, and we are concerned about you two. While we are glad to see you having fun, you've been fused for three days."

Tourmaline blew an amber bang away from her face and anchored the hard drive inside the robonoid. "Why are you two worried? I'm fine."

"That's just it. We know Tourmaline is fine, but we don't know about Steven. He's never been fused this long. I know you said you didn't need to eat or sleep, but we don't know that for sure. It would be better to check these things."

Tourmaline grunted and pulled herself away from the robonoid, "I'm done, Howard." It folded its metal plating up and rotated back to its normal position. It rounded its cyclops eye to Garnet and scanned her. Again. Tourmaline was scanning her too. The fusion was hiding something. She didn't know if it was Steven or Peridot telling her this, but she knew it.

"There's something else, something you don't want to tell me. If you want me to defuse you're going to have to."

Garnet tensed. Her lips formed a wiggling straight line as if Ruby and Sapphire were debating on telling them. Finally, the corners of her lips turned down. Light shimmered across her shades as if a comet had shot across them dropping hidden knowledge to the eyes beneath.

"I know fusion. You aren't unstable. You aren't unbalanced. But I sense something inside you that is a lot more subtle. Something dark. The only reason that you haven't defused because of it, is because you both agree. If it was an imbalance, I could show you how to control it. This…" Garnet adjusted her shades and they became clear, "This is something I haven't seen before. You need to defuse so we can figure out what it is."

Garnet looked at Tourmaline. Two eyes stared into her amber ones but one, Sapphire's, peered through her. It saw beneath the calm surface. It saw through what Steven and Peridot wanted to show held them together, Tourmaline. And deep within from the abyss, something smiled back at Sapphire, a grin dripping with tar. Tourmaline shuddered under the fusion's gaze and furrowed her brow.

"I'm tired of you guys treating me like a child. I thought you would be happy for me. There's nothing wrong with me."

"You're afraid," Garnet said.

Tourmaline took a step back, and Garnet took that step forward. Howard's lens gleamed.

"I'm stronger than I've ever felt before. Stronger than Stevonnie." Tourmaline demanded, her voice rising higher than she intended.

Garnet shook her head, "You're not afraid of being defeated."

"Then...what  _am_  I afraid of?" Tourmaline dared her.

Garnet's features softened, and before she could answer, the sound of a tornado siren blared from inside. The fusion's shades turned dark again, and she looked back at Tourmaline and then back to the door before going inside. Howard turned its gaze to its master once Garnet had left.

"A gem has been detected in facet nine. Type: Jasper. Cut: Unknown. Warp pad: Beta Kindergarten."

Tourmaline smiled and gave it a pat that clanged against its exterior, "Great job. Finally, a chance to prove ourselves."

Tourmaline went inside, and Pearl was standing on the warp pad. She was manipulating a screen above a crystal pillar that jutted from its base. Garnet was standing in the middle of the room awaiting the news that Howard had already delivered.

"It's Jasper. We got her. She's at the Beta Kindergarten."

Amethyst was in the kitchen tipping up a plate of spaghetti into her mouth. "Awwshume." She gargled between the noodles and sauce.

"Well? Let's go get her." Tourmaline said from behind Garnet.

Garnet turned around, "You're not going."

"What?!" Tourmaline exploded.

Pearl dismissed the screen, and the crystal pillar merged back into the pad. Amethyst ate her plate and shut the fridge door.

"If you won't defuse. Then you can't go." Garnet repeated.

Tourmaline balled her hands into fists, her eyes burning with fury, "You can't just kick me off missions because you don't agree with Steven and Peridot being together."

Pearl descended from the warp pad and stood beside Garnet. Amethyst joined the other gems in the gathering of some sort of awkward intervention.

Pearl fidgeted, "We're worried about you two. You haven't been yourselves. You haven't even spoken to Connie since you two have fused. When her break is over, she'll be headed back to school for another semester. I'm afraid that it will be too late to patch things up by then.

"Maybe it will be." Tourmaline grumbled.

"Tourmy. What about at Ray's place? You really freaked me out."

Tourmaline turned to Amethyst, betrayal staining her amber eyes, "You too?"

Amethyst shrugged but nodded, "I want you to be okay."

Tourmaline's shoulders dropped, "I can't believe you guys." She screwed her face up at Garnet with a clenched jaw, "Go without me then. I'm not defusing." The gems were stunned. They watched as she dropped onto the couch and picked up Peridot's tablet, "I'll stay here and write.  _Fused_." Tourmaline unlocked the tablet and began navigating through the gem language.

"Fine," Garnet said.

Pearl, utterly distraught, looked between the two fusions. "Steven...please honey. We don't want to-" She began, but another siren blasted from the robonoid outside on the deck and drowned the words out. Everyone turned to look.

"Three hostile topaz type gems approach the home. Immediate defense required." Howard shouted.

"Three?" Amethyst said running over to the window. Pearl joined her, and Garnet threw open the door and stood on the threshold to meet the intruders.

After a moment, Pearl squinted, "I don't see anything."

"Howard!" Tourmaline shouted from the warp pad. She winced as the robonoid twisted all the way around crashing its tube-like neck through the front window. Its lens leered at her through the empty frame listening for orders. The Crystal Gems spun around to follow the robonoid's gaze.

"I'll show you what I can do." Tourmaline said. She smirked with the pride of Peridot, and her eyes were ignited with the zeal of Steven.

Garnet took a step back into the house. She held up her hand and gritted her teeth, "Don't try it."

Tourmaline narrowed her eyes at the other fusion, "Terminate the warp pad."

The warp pad rumbled and pulsated under her feet. Howard's heavy light canon had already unpacked and was charging by the time Garnet had made it halfway across the house. The fusion lunged, and Tourmaline was shot into the warp stream. She looked behind her and laughed. No sign of Garnet. It had worked. Behind her, the stream snapped like a chord. She stopped laughing, and her face fell. The blue walls of light that kept her inside started to fray and unravel. If it caught up to her, she would be thrown into the in-between. She had just commanded the robonoid to destroy the only warp pad the gems could use to save her like they had Steven once before.

"Uh-oh. I really didn't think this through." Tourmaline summoned her shield, and it flattened as she hopped onto it. She flew through the stream with the tunnel behind her collapsing. It was breaking apart faster and faster. Peridot was running in circles inside her mind telling her that collapsing streams disintegrated exponentially. The green gem was howling how many seconds they would have until they were shunted out into the void of space.

"I know!" Tourmaline shouted. The shield morphed into a flat tower shield, and the fusion threw her body down against it. She needed more speed!

_8 seconds!_

She threw her arms around it and clung to the board. The shield propelled her forward rapidly in a desperate attempt to outrun the darkness that was growing at her back. Tourmaline struggled to bring her face to look up as the background became a blur. She could see the end of the beam.

_5!_

Behind her, the unraveled threads of the stream had almost caught up. She could hear the shriek of its walls of light tear through space.

_2!_

Tourmaline flew out of the stream. She skidded across the Beta Kindergarten warp pad riding her shield clear off of the platform. She landed face first into a snowbank. The shield poofed underneath her. With a groan, she sat up. The warp pad was silent, and the canyon was still. She cleared the snow from her visor. The pad made no indication that it would light up again.

Tourmaline scowled and whispered, "You're mine, Jasper." She got up, and after brushing the snow off of herself, she started walking.

The Beta Kindergarten seemed as quiet and equally as foreboding as it had last time. It had also snowed more since their last visit. The sandstone underneath the fusion's feet as she walked north of the warp pad, was completely hidden. The injectors were even creepier shrouded under cloaks of white.

"I never knew how scared you were of kindergartens, Steven." Tourmaline remarked softly. In the next moment, she crossed her arms and squeezed herself together, "I'm not scared...I just don't like them." All the same, the fusion relaxed, and Peridot put a hand over the yellow quartz gem in Tourmaline's stomach, "It's okay. I'm here."

Tourmaline scanned the ridges higher up as she went deeper into the canyon. She would be coming up on where they found the corrupted gem soon. The sensor had pinged the location near there.

"Maybe Garnet's right. Maybe we should defuse. I really miss kissing you." Tourmaline teased with a small giggle as she peered into an empty gem hole.

The makeshift prison cell ahead was as empty as they had left it last time. The metal scrap that Peridot had snapped in half was most likely buried underneath the snow. Tourmaline walked over to it and sized it up.

"Garnet is going to kill me for nothing if I can't find Jasper."

As if by request, something massive thudded to the ground behind her. She turned around to meet Jasper's self-satisfied smile. It was the bare-fanged grin of a predator cornering its prey.

"So, you're the one who let my pet out." Jasper's grin slowly withered into a grimace of disgust. She was looking between the two of their gems, "Wait. I know you two. Stars...Peridot. You've fused with that hybrid abomination?"

Tourmaline answered her with a summon of her shield.

Jasper summoned her helmet and laughed, "Look at you. What does that even make you? You're not even good enough to be gem goo to load into an injector."

Tourmaline's hard features wavered, and the hand that held her shield trembled.

Jasper took a few steps forward as if their fear had wafted a tantalizing scent to her, "Two of the weakest gems fusing? An era two Peridot and an abomination?" She chuckled, "It doesn't even make one whole era one gem."

"Enough!" Tourmaline shouted. She wound her arm back and threw the shield into a spin aimed at the orange gem's chest. Jasper caught it in both of her hands effortlessly. She held it in front of her presenting it back to them as if it were a toy.

"That's all you got?" She asked with a chuckle.

"Nope." Tourmaline smirked. She raised her hand.

To Jasper's surprise, the shield in her hands began to shake, and it yanked her through the air toward the fusion as she held on out of instinct. The shield drug her through the snow and the sandstone underneath. When the shield met Tourmalines hand, Jasper met her outstretched foot that kicked her off of it and sent her flying backward into the snow. She landed with a solid 'puff'.

Jasper scrambled up from the ground where she had made a Jasper sized snow angel, "What the…"

Tourmaline threw the shield again. This time, Jasper didn't want to catch it. She dodged and then laughed, "Missed."

Tourmaline was still holding up her hands, and the shield boomeranged back into the orange gem's back. Jasper spun around with a roar. She tried to keep the shield at bay. It hovered in the air near her just out of her reach. When Tourmaline threw a punch in the air, the shield imitated it bouncing forward and delivering it for her hitting Jasper's arm. She threw a few more punches, and the shield bounced them off the gem's helmet and face.

Jasper pawed with futility into the air trying to fend the shield off, but it was bouncing off of her too quickly. With a howl, she headbutted the shield and sent it soaring into the air. She twisted around and charged for the fusion instead, "The cheap tricks are over!"

The helmet landed a blow in the center of Tourmaline's chest sending her crashing back against the canyon wall. Snow and dust flew out from the impact in a cloud. The canyon echoed with the sound. As the fog cloud it created lingered in the air, Jasper threw herself through it, and her fist connected with the fusion's jaw forcing her to buckle back into the crater.

Jasper raised her fist aiming for another shot, but Tourmaline's shield had returned. It slammed into her back. Jasper stumbled forward and grunted. The fusion used the opportunity to push herself out of the crater and spin around the gem. Jasper spun with her, and the gems fist met the fusion's shield as she blocked it. Tourmaline was moving backward as Jasper charged forward bullying her into submission. She raised her shield to block, but Jasper's attacks slamming into her made it rattle. Tourmaline's arm ached at the force required to repel the gem.

Jasper began to rain a flurry of blows down upon them. The shield bobbed up and down at the force, but the orange gem was simply quicker. Any spot unprotected by the shield, Jasper met with a blow they hadn't had time to block. Their grip on the shield was beginning to slip. Jasper broke through it and landed a solid hit into the fusion's stomach nearly smashing into Steven's gem. Tourmaline stumbled back and bent over aching from the stings that were blinking all over her body.

Jasper laughed at her, "You're not faster, you're not stronger. Then what are you?" Tourmaline didn't answer as she struggled to catch her breath, "I'll tell you. Weak!"

Tourmaline straightened up and threw her shield, but Jasper slapped it away. It lodged itself in the snow. Jasper stomped toward them and grabbed both their arms throwing them to the ground. Tourmaline squirmed and struggled underneath the gem as Jasper straddled and pinned her down.

"Admit it!" Jasper screamed inches from her face. Her eyes had gone wild. She seemed swept up in something that was more important than the fight. She drew her head back and slammed her helmet into Tourmaline's visor making it crack. "Admit!" She raised her head back and crashed it into their face again, "It!" The visor exploded into tiny fragments down her face. Tourmaline gritted her teeth and shook her head trying to wriggle out of the grapple. It was no use. Jasper's weight was like an anvil sitting on her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut. Inside Tourmaline, Steven held onto Peridot tighter than he ever had; as if he could protect her from the final blow they both knew would be next. They closed their eyes and waited for it to come, clutching each other in desperation.

But Tourmaline wrapped her arms around both of them.

Underneath Jasper, amber sparks of energy began to crackle off of Tourmaline's body. Jasper threw her head back and aimed for Peridot's exposed gem. Tourmaline opened her eyes, they were dark storm clouds that flickered with bolts of heat.

"(He's)She's not weak!" Their forked voices struck through the air.

With the sound of clapping thunder, an electrical discharge of amber exploded from the fusion's body throwing Jasper off of her. She landed in a heap a distance away from the fusion. Tourmaline slowly stood to her feet. The snow had melted, and the ground was scorched underneath her. She raised her hands up to her face. Amber sparks played between her fingers. She leveled her gaze to Jasper as the gem slowly wobbled to her feet.

"That's...impossible. Only the Diamonds have-" Jasper was cut short by an amber lightning bolt striking the ground near her.

"Stay away from them." Tourmaline growled with an outstretched hand. Sparks ran down her arm and leaped off her fingers into an arc toward Jasper. It thundered with the fury of a storm as it hit her square in the chest. Jasper was pushed back from the force, and she dug her feet into the ground. The blast spread across her body, and she doubled over falling to her knees.

Tourmaline marched the distance that separated them. She held her hand out clutching at another bolt of lightning that had danced down her arm. She held up her hand and released the blast, but Jasper lunged forward sending the bolt ricocheting off her helmet. In a blur, Jasper was to her feet again. Tourmaline held out her hand, and her shield flew out of the snow and into it as Jasper charged. She used the momentum of the shield to backhand Jasper across the face with it breaking the eye guard of her helmet.

Tourmaline brought the shield over her arm. It conducted the electricity crackling off of her body. The amber zigzag in the middle of the shield lit up with power. She blocked the next blow aimed at her from Jasper, and as it connected, the energy sent sparks into the air. The shield repelled and shocked the orange gem. As Jasper fell back, Tourmaline marched forward and charged another lightning bolt down to her fist. Instead of releasing it, she delivered it in a punch to the gem's gut. Jasper fell back into the snow on her back. She seized from the energy coursing through her body. After the energy worked its way through her, she laid there drained. Jasper could barely hold her head up to look at them.

It was over.

Tourmaline held up her hand to poof the gem.

Jasper closed her eyes, and her plea was an airy whisper in the silence, "Just shatter me..."

Tourmaline's eyes widened, and she stopped, "What?"

Jasper's helmet fell away. She sat up feebly, "Isn't that what you came here to do?"

Tourmaline opened her mouth to say something but stopped. She lowered her hand, and the sparks of amber energy subsided. What had she come here to do? To prove herself? To fight? She had come to fight, but it wasn't Jasper she wanted anymore. Deep inside her, from the abyss. That tar stained grin was still there, smiling at both Steven and Peridot. Tourmaline looked into the eyes of Jasper and saw her fear staring back at her, and she knew Garnet was right. That she couldn't fight what was inside alone. She needed help.

Jasper's eyes were downcast, "I'm useless if I can't even defeat you. I was made to fight. I came here to serve Pink Diamond one last time. I...failed, on the only mission that ever counted. Beaten by an abomination and an era two Peridot. I'm a failure. I can't look Yellow Diamond in the eyes and tell her I couldn't do it. That I couldn't avenge Pink."

Tourmaline lowered her eyes, "I won't shatter you."

"ARRGH. I knew you were weak! Do it! Get it over with!" Jasper demanded. She slammed the ground with her fists.

From farther down the canyon both of them heard a droning hum that was coming their way. They weren't alone. Jasper and Tourmaline both turned their heads toward the sound. It was growing closer fast. The sound of humming became louder echoing off the canyon walls. Accompanying the sound was a drumming of feet. Emerging from one of the valleys, a giant robonoid with a green dome shape crawled into view on limbs that floated under its orb-like body.

Tourmaline cocked her head, "A plug robonoid? Where..."

Jasper groaned.

From the top of the round dome, a hatch opened, and a cylinder-shaped device popped through the opening as if it was a turtle sticking its head out of its shell. One strip of glass ran across the cylinder head, and it glowed red as it began to scan them.

"Uhhh, that's not a plug robonoid." Tourmaline said.

"Target: Jasper class gem. Identification: Facet-9H12L Cut-8XR. Currently operating outside parameters of homeworld command. Assumed desertion with Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG."

"WHAT?! A deserter?!" Jasper jumped to her feet.

The robonoid set its sensors to Tourmaline, and she crossed her arms and looked away.

"Unknown fusion detected." It stated after performing a longer scan. Tourmaline raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"I never deserted! I've been trying to destroy the Crystal Gems and bring them back to homeworld! My ship was destroyed!" Jasper shouted at it.

The robonoid's head sunk back into its shell, and it stood motionless in the middle of the canyon. Jasper stood beside Tourmaline and looked at her.

"You're a technician. Tell me what it's doing." She said.

Tourmaline looked back, "It's thinking about what to do about us."

"It should take you into custody and take me back to its controller so I can get off this rock."

Tourmaline scowled, "So you can tell everyone how you failed?"

Jasper frowned. She looked back at the robonoid.

From the sides of the robonoid, two hatches opened, and two heavy plasma cannons rolled out. They began to charge with a green glow.

"It's decided!" Tourmaline shouted. She pushed Jasper away while dodging the incoming blast of both canons. The explosion between them threw them both to the ground. The robonoid swung around and shot a pair of rapid-fire blasts at Tourmaline. She raised her shield, and the orbs of light bounced off of it.

"I can't believe this! I'm not a traitor you cracked machine!"

The machine responded with a charged blast from its dual cannons, and Jasper's headbutted it with her summoned helmet. A hatch opened from the top of the dome, and instead of a head, a mechanical arm with a beam attached shot a tractor beam at her. The beam picked Jasper up and slammed her like a rag doll repeatedly against the ground sending out a torrent of sandstone dust and ice.

The sound of a thunderbolt clapped through the air, and an amber bolt hit the side of the robonoid, but the energy dissipated against its frame.

"Ugh, of course. Its shell protects against electrical discharge." Tourmaline groaned.

The robonoid dropped the battered Jasper to the ground. She moaned in pain crawling up to her hands and knees. The tractor beam centered its aim at Tourmaline instead and picked her up off the ground. It slammed her down with a crash leaving her pinned. She tried to move her arms or kick her feet, but the beam was even more powerful than Jasper's grip had been.

"Jasper!" The fusion struggled to turn her head toward the orange gem through the beam, "You haven't failed! You're more than a fighting machine. Homeworld has already abandoned you. But...but I won't!"

Jasper pushed herself back up. Her physical form held scorch marks and bruises, caked dirt and flecks of snow. She looked helplessly back at the fusion, "Lies! What are any of us without the Diamonds?!"

Tourmaline grunted under the strain of the beam pushing her down harder against the ground, "You're...Jasper. What you've been all this time, even after Pink. You're free. Stay on Earth. Figure out who you want to be. I know you're afraid...I am too."

Jasper looked between the robonoid and the fusion. Her face fluctuated between pain and anger and finally, she cried out, a howl of agony. She tucked into herself and began to spin. In her place was a torrent of light that grew brighter and brighter, and when she let go, she took off like a racing comet. Jasper slammed into the robonoid and sent it flying across the canyon. The tractor beam snapped freeing Tourmaline. The robonoid fell against the valley wall, and an injector broke free from above and split itself on top of the machine's dome.

Tourmaline stood up and shouted to Jasper, "Hold it still for me!" She held up her shield in front of her, and spikes jutted from the edges of the disc. She waved her hands in circles, and the disc began to rotate into a spinning blade.

Jasper trudged over to the robonoid that was lying on its side. She grabbed its floating limbs and drug it through the snow and the dirt out of the debris. She held its fighting legs as it resisted her grapple, but she was able to hold it steady enough. Tourmaline came closer and guided the spinning blade into the robonoid's shell. The fusion cut through the plating. One jagged line down the machine's belly using the saw blade. Jasper was ramming the flailing limbs with her helmet while Tourmaline worked.

"Pry it open." Tourmaline said as she slowed the shield down.

Jasper threw the legs of the robonoid down and grabbed the two sides of the fracture that the fusion had created. With tremendous strength, she ripped the crack open into a hole. Inside the core was exposed to them. Wires spilled out of the wound like the entrails of some large mechanical beast. The robonoid ripped away from Jasper's grasp and jumped back to its feet but it was too late.

Tourmaline raised both her hands and amber lightening lept from her fingers and into the robonoid's exposed core. The machine convulsed as a large arc of electricity flared out of the fusion and fried its circuits. A plume of black smoke rose from the gaping wound. The dome collapsed on top of useless mechanical legs, and the humming of its systems faded.

Tourmaline took a step back, but Jasper looked down at the smoking ruin as if all her hopes and dreams had lied within it.

"Thank you, Jasper."

Jasper was silent.

Tourmaline held out her hand, "Come with me. The crystal gems can help you figure things out. We can help you."

The orange gem shook her head, "I don't want your help." She turned her back to the fusion and began to walk away, alone. Tourmaline put her shield away. She couldn't shatter her. She couldn't even bring herself to poof and bubble her now. She could only watch as Jasper left, defeated and lost in the place of her birth.


	9. The Abyss

A big black plume of smoke poured out of the fracture in the robonoid's shell as if it had heaved its last breath in this world. The scent of scorched circuit boards, melted plastic, and something else that Peridot identified as coolant fluid, that they had managed to boil, had all mixed. The corner of Tourmaline's lip raised in disgust, and she waved the black cloud away from her face with a cough. The smell alone was almost enough to ward her away, but she had to look inside. This wasn't a normal robonoid that fit any category that Peridot knew back on homeworld. Whoever was after them wasn't playing around. If Jasper hadn't been here or had not decided to help, well, they didn't want to think about it. But it wasn't just curiosity alone. They also needed a part from the robonoid, one that Peridot was hoping had survived.

The smoke was beginning to clear. Tourmaline wouldn't be able to protect her nose, but at least she could protect her eyes. She wiped the air in front of her face with a yellow toned hand, and her visor was repaired. She made a murmur of relief. Peridot's gem was safe and sound again.

Tourmaline gripped the sides of the hole that she had created in the robonoid, and sucking in a breath, stuck her head inside the belly of the beast. On Tourmaline's forehead, Peridot's gem lit up casting a yellow cone of light. The sheen of a saw blade gleamed back at her inches away from her face. She jumped back and hit her head against the top opening of the hole.

"Owwwwaarrrrgggh," Tourmaline growled in pain. She looked back at the blade with the back of her head pounding. It wasn't on. She swept the cone of light on her forehead across a pair of plasma cannons, tractor beam, limb attachments for the saw blade and force hammer, and a laser cutting torch. As she slowly came to a realization, Steven's gem became heavy in her stomach. This robonoid had the heavy plating and atmospheric entry shell of a plug robonoid, the plasma cannon and tractor beam of a set of limb enhancers, and melee attachments that had never been used on a drone before. This robonoid had been custom built to kill. Tourmaline pulled her head out and took a breath of fresh air and let it out. It was an assassin robonoid.

Tourmaline put a hand against the machine's dome and leaned against it. She pressed her head against the back of her hand and closed her eyes.

"Whoever this is...they're better than me," She said under her breath.

There was a noise behind them, a shuffle of feet in the snow. Tourmaline whipped around, but there was no one there. She looked down at the snow to see if she saw footprints, but there were none that were fresh.

She held out her hand open palm, "...Jasper?"

No answer.

She swallowed and looked around, "Hello?"

The canyon was silent.

Tourmaline ran a hand through her amber waves, "I'm going crazy now too."

She turned around and frowned at the hole in the robonoid. She held a breath and stuck her head back in. The shadows of the killing instruments were cast against the walls from the light of Tourmaline's gem. One square shaped metal box was near the bottom with a tube that jutted from the top. Tourmaline pushed past the wires that had been stripped naked by the lightning blast, and she unscrewed the tube with her hands. She lifted the box free and pulled it out of the robonoid. The green metallic covering protected the contents inside well enough. It was the robonoid's store of repair gel. They could at least repair the temple warp pad when they returned home. It wouldn't make everything right, not by a long shot, but it wouldn't hurt.

The pounding in the back of Tourmaline's head from hitting it had stopped. Now that she thought of it, everything had stopped hurting. Even the wounds that she had sustained from Jasper and the assassin robonoid had already healed.

There was another noise behind her. Tourmaline spun around.

"S-show yourself!" She shouted to nothing.

She hugged the container of repair gel close to her chest and took a few steps forward in the snow away from the robonoid. The last step startled her when the ground sloshed instead of crunching. It wasn't supposed to do that. Even Peridot, who was relatively new to the stuff, knew that. Tourmaline's heart floored and it drug her eyes down with it. The ground had been replaced with ankle deep water. Below the surface was a murky darkness that did not promise sandstone. When she looked up, the canyon was gone. She was standing in the middle of an ocean with an infinite horizon. Tourmaline's shoulders lowered and her fingers uncurled. The repair gel container fell from her hands, and it sunk beneath the surface. Her amber eyes stared at the endless horizon with terror.  _It_  was no longer imprisoned inside her. Steven and Peridot were no longer containing it. She couldn't push it aside in her thoughts. She knew what this place was, but she shouldn't be here. This was the pool that held Steven and Peridot together. That meant she was now locked inside with it. Tourmaline broke into a run, her flight tearing a streak through the water. She had to get out, but underneath her feet something wiggled through the water darker than an eel and with the muscular power of a shark. It followed after the stamping of her feet like each ripple was a cloud of blood.

"No!" She screamed. It burst through the water behind her and grasped at her foot. She tripped and came skidding to a stop on her side. She turned over sitting in the water. From beneath its surface, a hand black as tar emerged from the abyss, and it flailed toward her. Its digits were curling and grasping, and its movements gurgled like sludge.

"NOOOOO!" She slid back in the water on her hands and feet spraying water everywhere in a frenzy. The dark hand seized her foot. Another grabbed her arm. She tossed and squirmed and as she arched her back another arm wrapped around her stomach covering Steven's gem.

"Help m-mpmmgghh!" A slimy hand slapped itself over her mouth. The inky limbs writhed over her body as if to establish one final grip on her. She couldn't move, and there was the briefest of pauses where all was still, unnaturally still. Then, all at once the limbs ripped her down under the surface in one horrifyingly coordinated plunge. Tourmaline punched and kicked, the water was thick, and her movements felt like fighting through muck. She was sinking, deeper and deeper. The light above the surface faded as she was drug into the abyss. She couldn't move, captured in the resin of the deep.

Then there was only Peridot.

Peridot stood in a circular light in the middle of a dark room. The ceiling was so high and the walls of this place so wide that its dimensions seemed almost infinite. She was shivering, and her head was jerking this way and that trying to make sense of any of this. The only thing that was certain was that the floor glowed white as if lit from underneath. Even that made her uneasy. It made her feel as if she was lying flat on her back on a table to be poked and prodded.

She looked down at herself and held up her hands to her face: green skin, yellow diamond uniform, missing limb enhancers. She put a hand to her hair, and it prickled back as she ran it down through it. Her fingers skidded down her visor. It shouldn't have been there. None of this should have. The last thing she remembered was the canyon and then the ocean with the monster. Then something gripped her, something even worse than the monster, a realization. She wasn't fused anymore.

"Steven?!" She called out.

No answer.

"Where are you?! Please!"

She was alone. She started to begin again, but another name came to the edge of her lips to shout for. She stopped herself before she said it. The name surprised Peridot, but somehow it felt right. She asked herself: had she always been there in the background? She almost seemed like a separate presence. Back in the canyon, she had saved both her and Steven. Could she save her now?

Peridot sniffled. With a teary voice, she cried out, "Tourmaline?!"

She whined and shook her fists in despair when there wasn't an answer. She felt like an idiot calling out the fusion's name. She felt utter terror at not receiving a response from calling Steven's. At this moment, she would rather be a clod than be the alternative.

But a voice from the darkness did answer her. It was calm and exacting, but it made her flush with dread as if a drill from a place she couldn't see was aimed directly at her gem. "She can't help you, and Steven won't be coming."

Yellow Diamond stepped out of the shadows. The light from the floor cast a shadow on her face. From within dark sockets, two yellow eyes held a ghastly glow. The stare was heavy, and Peridot shrunk against its weight that wished for her to bow instead.

"What...How?" Peridot asked.

Yellow Diamond frowned. But coming from a diamond the frown was more than an expression. It might as well had been a decision to toss Peridot down the deepest kindergarten pit to be forgotten forever. When Yellow Diamond spoke to answer her question, it was out of pity for the tumble she had yet to take. "You have been here for a time. We put you in a diagnostic state. We have been going through your memories of Earth to see if you can be salvaged and reformed." The diamond shook her head, "But I've seen enough. You will never fit into gem society again. You're ruined."

Peridot's eyes were glazed over in a surreal shock. Time seemed to stop. When it did not, it crashed over her like a wave, but she wasn't carried with it.

_Lies! What are any of us without the Diamonds?!_

"No. That can't be true. I was just there." Peridot's visor vanished, and she put her fingers to her gem. "My gem must be damaged in some form. This is an illusion from my cracked state." But her gem was perfectly smooth to the touch, no crack or chip to be found. Although, that could have been an illusion too.

Yellow Diamond nodded. She took in a deep but weary breath as if she had expected this response and now it was time to give the stock reply she had been waiting to provide, "You are on homeworld. The memory that you last saw was six months ago. We captured you and the rose quartz. Steven was shattered for his crime against Pink Diamond, and you have been in evaluation."

Yellow Diamond watched as the words sunk in like a fast-acting poison. Peridot's chest started to jump with quick gasps of air, and she looked around, "No. You are lying to me! This can't be real!"

Yellow Diamond lowered her brow and looked away so that she wouldn't have to see Peridot embarrassing herself, "I will now judge your fate given the evidence of your memories."

Peridot's mouth was open, and she was gazing around in a daze. Then she stopped, the mental gears clicking behind her blue eyes. She looked up at the Diamond. If she was going mad, she might as well take it all the way. What was defiance to a Diamond now as the executioner's blade teetered overhead with a yellow gleam? "Why did you say six months?"

"What?" Yellow Diamond brought her eyes to rest on the small gem at her feet. Her tone was snappish and haughty accusing the question of being absurd. After all, she had entertained these inane questions long enough.

Peridot squinted up at her, "You said the memory I just saw at the canyon was really six months ago. Why did you use earth measurement instead of gem galactic time?"

Yellow Diamond narrowed her eyes at the small gem in front of her. From a dark corner of the room, another voice called to answer her question, but it sounded far off. It carried an echo that Yellow Diamond's did not. Peridot looked after it.

"I found them! They're over here! Goodness! Somethings happen to them!" It was Pearl's voice.

Peridot scowled, and her eyes fell back to the diamond.

Yellow Diamond raised her hand, "Your defective and this is no longer your home. Now die!" A tightly wound bundle of yellow lightning followed the decree hurled at the small gem. As the bolt raced across the distance between them, Peridot's hand went up instinctively. An amber bolt leaped from her fingers and crashed into the opposite blast.

Peridot cackled with maniacal glee as she held the stream of lightning against Yellow Diamond's. Tourmaline had answered.

Garnet's voice echoed from the void in the direction that Pearl's had come from, "They're unbalanced. Something is holding them together so they can't defuse. I have to go in after them."

Peridot grunted and struggled to hold the arc of energy against the Diamond's. It amazed her that she was even able to do that. Yellow's bolt slowly inched its way toward her fighting back the amber arc that was spitting out of Peridot's fingers.

"Garnet!" Peridot shouted. The yellow lightning was consuming the amber, and the heat that flared off of it was hitting her in waves. Peridot looked for Garnet to spring out of the shadows and save her. She waited for her to knock the diamond down with one punch but she never came. The bolt finally reached her fingers, and it threw Peridot on her back. Yellow Diamond laughed and threw out another blast. Peridot closed her eyes before it hit her.

Then there was only Steven.

A breeze rustled the trimmed grass near his tennis shoes. The sky above him held a clouded heart that pounded with the sound of thunder holding the threat of rain. It was no longer cold, and he was wearing what he always wore, his star t-shirt and blue jeans. All around him, jutting from the ground, were gravestones. He stood amongst rows and rows of them like abandoned injectors. Instead of giving life they marked a time that had ended.

His head felt foggy as if he had forgotten something that was very pressing. His surroundings didn't make sense. Was this a memory? Couldn't be. He never had a reason to have been here. There wasn't a stone here with the name Rose Quartz. He almost wished there was. A place he could go to be alone with his thoughts about her. He could bring a bunch of pink flowers. No, he never had to come here and kneel and cry and miss someone. But those people got to leave when they were ready. They got to let it all out of themselves and leave with a bit of closure. Steven put a hand on his gem over his shirt. He wasn't one of them. He carried her gravestone everywhere he went. From time to time when Pearl looked at it, he could see that same reverence and sadness in her eyes.

He walked through the rows trying to find the reason he was here. Thunder rumbled over his shoulder, and the air was heavy with the scent of rain that had not fallen. When he found what he had been looking for, a lightning bolt in the distance punctuated the discovery. Steven took a couple of steps forward. When he crumpled to the ground in front of the headstone, the rain fell with him. His hand came to rest against the engraved words "Connie Maheswaran." Droplets of rain slid down his trembling fingers. Steven looked to the next stone "Sadie Miller."

"No…"

The next stone "Sour Cream." The next two were Jenny and Buck and on it continued. He couldn't bring himself to look further. To read the name that would shatter him.

_If you keep going this way, you won't have anyone left._

He propped his head against the headstone. The marble was cold and unforgiving against his forehead. Tears trickled down his cheeks and fell to the smooth stone beneath him, "I thought if I distanced myself from you, it wouldn't hurt so much." He whispered to the grave.

The downpour was soaking him through. It dripped down his face from his dark hair that was matting against his forehead. The rain mixed with his tears and it all fell together. It brought him some comfort that the sky was crying with him too. When a bolt of lightning cracked the sky, there also was his fury and his pain. It made him want to thrash around in the rain. To kick the dirt up and shout as loud as a thunderbolt. He wished he was Tourmaline again. He wished he wasn't himself. The one who had to feel this way, the one that had to mourn the ones he cared for before he even lost them. He wanted to stand up now and drag an amber bolt of energy across this whole field.

He couldn't. He could only cry slouching over a grave. A marker that something had existed and that it was gone. He put his hands over his gem and sobbed harder letting the storm take him.

He felt a firm hand rest on his shoulder. It jolted him back as if it had ripped him out the cyclone that had swept him up. He looked back at its owner. Garnet was behind him with a solemn expression. The rain continued to beat against the ground, but she was perfectly dry.

The sides of his eyes wrinkled, and he wiped a strand of damp hair away from them, "Garnet, what is going on? I don't understand."

She knelt beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, "I know." She scanned the rows of gravestones and then returned her eyes to him. Steven saw his face reflected at him in her shades. It was a mix of sorrow, and the passing remains of fear.

"Why are you here?" She asked. She wasn't shouting or raising her voice, but he could hear her perfectly through the storm.

Steven looked back at the gravestone, "I don't know."

Garnet nodded, "You do know. Why are you here?" She asked again.

He looked down, Garnet's arm around him felt heavier as if turning into a burden to have her comfort, "I don't want to be alone. Even if I fight it, it will all come to this one day."

Garnet turned to face him, and she wrapped him in a hug. He turned with her and slumped into the embrace putting his arms around her. The sound of the rain stopped, but he could still see it drop, the lightning flashed, but it didn't carry thunder at its heels. Garnet was a shelter.

"You're part human Steven. You can enjoy experiences that only humans can have and understand. You find ways to share it with people who never thought they could have it too." She held him tighter, "To us." She added.

"To Peridot," Steven said.

"Yes. You've found something special in each other, but both of you need more than the other. I know you're both afraid. Pearl and I, we haven't done a great job in teaching you about death or loss. It's hard even for us. But without death, the other human experiences would not be what they are."

Steven tore himself away, and the storm came rushing back in becoming even louder than it had before. Lightning struck the ground near them, and Steven was now drenched, "How would you know?!" He shouted over the rain.

Garnet frowned and when she spoke her words parted the storm like a curtain, "It was the last lesson that Rose taught me. Change was a concept that I was aware of, but when Rose gave up her physical form to have you, she died." Garnet's shades turned clear, and she looked back into Steven's eyes, "I had seen gems shattered before. It was violent and abrupt. But Rose just faded away. One moment she was there and the next she wasn't." Garnet's features tensed, "And there was no one to blame. No one to defend her from. No one to battle and make it right."

"...I'm sorry, Garnet," Steven said. The rain began to let up.

Garnet put her hand on his shoulder, "It taught me something. As I looked at you, at the only thing she left behind, I understood." She smiled, "The old things pass away to make room for the new. I lost a friend, but I wouldn't have you if she hadn't."

Steven smiled, and the last of the storm pattered to the ground.

"One day your friends will pass on, and it will hurt as Rose hurt me. But, Steven." He looked up at her, "It was worth it." Steven hugged her and Garnet squeezed him back. "You don't have to be alone."

"I'll try," Steven said.

"That's all any of us can do," Garnet said softly, "Let's get out of here."

Then there was only Peridot.

She stood confused in Steven's house in the living room. Then she saw him. Steven was standing across from her next to the coffee table as if he had been waiting for her all this time. She was so happy she was sure that her gem was glowing bright enough to be seen from space, from homeworld even. She was sure Yellow Diamond was scowling with contempt at it from her throne. She didn't care.

"Thank the stars! Steven!" She ran over to him, but before she got to him, Amethyst butted in front of her cutting her off. She growled and flailed her arms out trying to get past her, "Get out of my way you CLOD!"

Pearl and Garnet came out of nowhere and surrounded him. She couldn't reach him. "Ste-ven!" She cried despondently.

Pearl was smiling and nodding, "I'm so glad you're okay, Steven."

"Yeah, bro. We were so worried." Amethyst said.

Garnet ruffled Steven's hair, "And now you aren't fused with Peridot anymore."

Peridot's mouth fell open. Pearl looked over at her seeing her for the first time now. The tall gem looked as if she had caught a bad whiff of something, "Oh. Your back. Listen, we've decided to move you to the barn. You simply can't stay here. You aren't a Crystal Gem, so you don't belong in the temple."

"But...but I thought you guys said I  _was_  a Crystal Gem." Peridot's lips motioned for more words and then managed, "I'm one of you."

Pearl scoffed and then laughed as if she was trying to be polite after a bad joke.

Peridot looked in desperation to Steven, "Steven, tell them. I'm a crystal gem!"

Amethyst stepped out of the way, and Steven looked down at her, "You don't really fit here, Peridot." He put a finger to his lips in thought and then concluded simply, "You...don't really fit anywhere."

The other gems formed around Steven cutting Peridot off from him. When Amethyst moved back in position, it pushed the green gem back onto the floor. Peridot looked up, her face distorted from the tears that hadn't come yet. She brought her knees to her chest. She looped her arms underneath and cried against her legs. The real Crystal Gems talked amongst themselves as if she wasn't there. They were discussing all of the fun winter things they could do without her.

She felt a presence sit down next to her cross-legged. Peridot raised her head up and looked over. It was Garnet. The green gem looked between the Garnet protecting Steven from her and then back to the one sitting next to her.

"Is that how you really see us?" The sitting Garnet asked.

Peridot looked back at Steven and the gems shielding him, "I don't have anyone. I thought I at least had Steven."

"You do have us, Peridot. We love you."

Peridot lowered her eyes, "You loved Tourmaline because it had Steven. I'm like the bad part that you don't want to talk about."

"That's not how any of us see you or Tourmaline."

Peridot didn't say anything. She squeezed her legs closer to her chest and shut her eyes.

Garnet sighed. She rested her hands on her legs and leaned forward, "My first fusion was an accident. It wasn't like yours. It wasn't met with the reaction that Tourmaline was given."

Peridot looked over at her.

Garnet continued, "Blue Diamond ordered that Ruby be shattered, but Sapphire chose to disobey homeworld to save her." The Crystal Gems in front of them were still talking amongst themselves now ignoring both of them. "We were on the run on a foreign world with no real purpose. We fused again, and for a time we enjoyed just being us."

The small gem unfolded herself and smiled, "Then what happened?"

"Eventually that wasn't enough." Peridot frowned in disappointment. "We needed people who understood us, people who accepted us, whether we were fused or not. We found Rose and the Crystal Gems, and we had more than just the two of us."Garnet looked to her, "You belong with us. You are a Crystal Gem. You don't have to be alone."

Garnet held out her hand.

Peridot looked at it and then into the fusion's eyes, "Why wasn't it enough?"

"What?"

"Just the two of you...why wasn't it enough?"

There was silence behind Garnet's shades, but she still held her hand out. Then she spoke again, "Because it's possible to be alone together. You place a heavy burden on Steven to ask so much from him. You place the weight of all homeworld on his shoulders to make up for. And no matter how much he would like to, how much he senses it through Tourmaline that you want it to, he can't replace them." Peridot hung her head and looked at her fidgeting fingers. "He places the weight of his friends on you in return."

Peridot looked up and took Garnet's hand, "How do I fix this?"

Garnet squeezed her hand and stood up with the small gem joining her, "Make this your home. Use Steven for support, but don't use Tourmaline as a crutch. You have to be okay being Peridot on the planet Earth before you can be Tourmaline without the fear."

Peridot nodded and then smiled up at the fusion.

Garnet smiled back."Let's get out of here," She said.

Then there was only Steven and Peridot.

They both stood in an empty place that seemed to stretch on forever. The floor was white, and the walls spanned into a hazy blue blur. Peridot hesitated for a moment when she saw Steven standing across from her. It was  _his_  messy curly hair that she liked to put her fingers through and tease a strand around her finger. It was  _his_  lips that formed that slight smile as if he had just heard a joke that you had not but would let you in on in a moment. It was  _his_  eyes that were very much unlike hers. They didn't scan and pinpoint. The gaze floated over you, and they really took you in. They slid over the things you were worried about and didn't linger. They were too busy seeing what you couldn't. But something wavered inside her. How could she tell if it was really  _him_? Then he winked. And she ran to him.

"Steven!" He caught her in his open arms, and she buried her face against his chest. It was him. It was  _his_  smell. His shirt carried a strong aroma. She loved it's woody smell as if it had just been pulled from the back of his closet, and it mixed with his natural scent. It was heaven. Everywhere else she had been before carried a clinical air, even the illusion of Steven's living room held none of the subtle musk and Pearl's cleaning supplies.

"It's alright now," He whispered to her. She clutched at his shirt balling the fabric in her fingers. Nothing would tear her away now. Not one inky hand, not a whole army.

When Peridot brought her face up to him, Steven leaned in and kissed her. As he pushed his lips against hers, he could feel the sensation travel through her like a warmth that filled her up and then it bounced back to him and went through him like a reverberation. He pulled back and shivered. Out of the corner of his eye, a glint of amber caught his attention. Steven turned his head toward it, and Peridot followed his gaze.

Tourmaline stood with her arms crossed watching them with an amused smirk. They were connected again.

Peridot looked back at Steven, "I'm sorry, Steven. This is-"

"No, I'm the one that should be sorry," Steven said. "I've been trying to teach you what being human is like, and I've been doing a poor job of acting like one myself. I liked being Tourmaline. I liked just being a gem for a while. It felt good not to worry about anything else."

"It did." Peridot admitted. It sounded a little wistful but carried a stain of guilt.

"We have to go back. We have to talk to everyone." He looked at Tourmaline, "We can fix this together."

"What if they all hate me?"

"I don't know how they could ever do anything like that to the great and lovable Peridot," He said.

She hugged him and held onto him.

"I'll be right there with you," Steven said, hugging her back.

They closed their eyes and Tourmaline wrapped them both in a hug.

Then Steven and Peridot opened their eyes. Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst were standing over them in the canyon. Peridot looked over at the repair gel container sunk in the snow beside her. Steven sat up rubbing his head.

"Steven! Peridot! You two are okay!" Pearl fell to the ground and pulled both of their groggy forms into each arm. She squeezed them, and both of them wheezed for air with Peridot clawing at the hold, "I was so worried." Then she looked between the two of them as they blinked the haze from their eyes. "What on Earth were you thinking?! Blowing up the warp pad!? You could have been killed! Then I found Tourmaline on the ground! Then-"

Amethyst knelt down and put a hand on Pearl's arm, "We're just glad you're okay guys. We saw the robonoid and thought it might have taken you out."

Garnet joined them and only smiled, a glint of understanding blinking across the surface of her shades.

"I'm sorry guys," Steven said.

"Me too," Peridot muttered.

Garnet took her turn hugging the two of them. This time it was gentle, and when she pulled away, she smiled at Steven, "I forgive you. We're even for sugilite hm?"

Steven nodded and grinned.

"I wasn't mad. It was kinda awesome." Amethyst scratched the back of her head.

"Amethyst!" Pearl glared at her.

Amethyst pointed at them, "Not cool though." She looked up at the taller gem to see if that would suffice and Pearl's face fell with exasperation.

Pearl sighed and agreed with reluctance, "Yes, we can forgive you. Fusion is a complicated business, and its messed with the best of us." She let out a chuckle that trailed off and her eyes lit up with a memory, "Ah, blowing up a warp pad wasn't the worst I've seen."

"I mean we could always ground him again, I could go get the shovel," Amethyst said with a sly grin.

Peridot looked at Steven, but he had already turned to her. He was staring at her chest. At first, she felt the instinct to cover herself with her arms, but the part of her that wanted him to look made the heat rise in her cheeks. Finally, she said, "Steven! What are you…" She sputtered.

He pointed at her, "Look!"

She looked down, and all the gems looked as well. Amethyst and Pearl gasped. On her chest was a yellow star that had replaced the diamond. Her mouth formed an O, and she sucked in a breath of surprise that lifted her to her feet. Peridot picked up each leg, and on each knee a star greeted her.

"It must have been done when you reform-" Garnet began.

"NYEHEHEHEHEHEH! I'm a crystal gem!" She bounced up and down with her fists in the air.

Steven laughed and the gems with him.

Peridot was still eyeing her star, her chin to her chest when Pearl raised a finger.

"You are a crystal gem, and that means you will fix the warp pad that you blew up."

Peridot looked up and groaned, but there was a hint of a smile on her lips and a glimmer of light from her gem.


	10. What Can I Do for You?

"An assassin robonoid?!" Pearl was standing in the middle of the living room.

"Heh heh...yeah…" Steven said with a hand on the back of his head.

He was standing in front of the warp pad, while Peridot was behind him pouring repair gel on the cracks. Garnet was taking the news well, or she wasn't, but it was always hard to tell. She was on the couch listening to the two of them expressionless.

"Well, how do you know? I've never heard of such a thing. An assassin is a human concept. Gems don't operate that way."

"You've been gone from homeworld a long time," Peridot said over Steven's shoulder, but she stopped, holding the repair gel container in front of her. "I have to admit, homeworld has never built anything like it."

"But we know for sure that it was designed to fight. It had these…" Steven trailed off. He had lost the next words he was about to say. It was as if the idea itself had slipped from his mental grasp and now he was groping for something that was no longer there, but it had been once before. Pearl was looking at him expectantly. As he searched again, it felt like he was squinting and the images that came back were blurry.

"It had these cannons that popped out the sides that shot…"

"Plasma." Peridot finished for him. She was on her hands and knees patting a small crack with a handful of gel.

"Right! And uh had the light that picked you up and banged you around and you couldn't move."

"Tractor beam," Peridot said.

"Yep. And then it had this big saw thingy."

"Limb attached motorized saw and force hammer," Peridot added cheerfully as if this was becoming a guessing game and she was in the lead.

Steven groaned, "This would be so much easier if I were Tourmaline."

Garnet gave him a humoring smile, "The two of you need to learn how to be with each other separately so that you're stronger when you're together."

Amethyst, who had been rummaging through the cabinets in the kitchen, replied, "So basically some gem who is really good at homeworld technology is here for you two?"

"Well...I don't know. They're here for anyone who is an enemy to homeworld I guess. The robonoid attacked Jasper too."

Pearl crossed her arms and looked away, "Yes, you told us she helped. I don't know if letting her go was the right thing. We don't know what she will do now."

Garnet spoke up, "I may not like it, but Steven's future is uncertain. He has important choices to make that will have a major impact. If he had not blown up the warp pad, then we would have bubbled Jasper, but because Tourmaline went by herself, she created a new timeline in which new choices were available only to her. Maybe letting Jasper go was the correct choice and by extension blowing up the warp pad. It's hard to know for sure."

"I will agree with one thing. I don't like it." Pearl said as she watched Peridot finish the last of the repairs.

They had returned to the temple in the evening, and now it was dark outside. Peridot had patched the window that Howard had broken first. Steven had helped in any way he could, and while Peridot would have sent anyone else away, she didn't have the heart to do that to him, so she pointed, and he retrieved and held things in place.

"Now that I know there is a threat, I will meditate on it and see if I can find more information on them," Garnet said. She stood up and approached the warp pad. Peridot set the container down and looked up at her. The fusion gave her a thumbs up, and the green gem smiled. Garnet walked to the temple door, and it opened, but before she went through, she looked back at Steven. A gleam ran across her shades, and there was the slightest smirk on her lips, "Have a good night Steven."

He tilted his head, "Goodnight Garnet." And she was gone.

Amethyst was headed to the temple door with a bag of chips, "I'm gonna hit up a binge of Lil' Butler. You want in, Steven? Peridot?"

Steven scratched his arm, "Nah, I'm tired. Today was.." He corrected himself, "These past three days are catching up to me."

Peridot was putting the repair gel container in the scrap bag. The half of her that was inside it called back out, "No. I want to do something else in the next forty-eight to seventy-two hours besides watch that junk."

Amethyst stood in the entrance to her room, "What about Camp Pi-"

"Don't you even compare that trash to my CPH!" The top of the bag started ruffling as Peridot fought it off of her. When she had finally escaped, she spun around toward the purple gem.

Amethyst grinned, "Paulette X Percy forever!" The temple door thudded shut.

"ARRRRGGHHH!"

Pearl held a hand over her mouth and chuckled.

"You take that back!" When it was apparent that Amethyst wasn't coming back, Peridot kicked the scrap bag. "Owwwarrggghh."

Pearl looked between the two of them and walked over to the temple door. She laid her hand on it and then turned back to them, "Are you two going to be alright tonight? Anything else I should know?"

She looked to Steven first, and he shook his head. Then she shifted her gaze to the small green gem. Peridot was squirming in place, and her face was scrunched up. Pearl arched a brow.

"I didn't steal your metronome!" Peridot blurted.

Steven grimaced and then gave Pearl a wry smile.

Pearl squinted, her mouth forming a single straight line, "Goodnight you two."

"Goodnight." They answered together.

The temple door closed for the last time.

Peridot looked to Steven, "I suppose you will begin your regeneration cycle now?" There was a glint of sadness in her eyes and a want in her tone.

He ran a hand through his hair and nodded glumly, "Yeah."

She walked over and turned the lights off for him as if dutifully fulfilling her part of this human ritual. Only the amber glow of the fireplace burning with fresh wood remained. Steven went to the base of the stairs, and Peridot placed a kiss on his cheek. When she pulled away, there was a small, sad smile on her face, but as always, her eyes were hopeful.

He took to the stairs, and he could hear her down below settling on the couch. He changed into his pajamas, a pair of cloth bottoms that were black with pink stars. His hand hovered over the shirt, but he shut the closet door without putting it on instead. Downstairs the light of the tablet switched on, and the drum of fingers began. Typically, those two things would hit him hard, and he would be out immediately. It had been part of the ritual now as much as turning off the lights or getting his goodnight kiss. Some nights he wondered if Peridot really wrote or coded every night, or was it that she was just doing it for him and would stop as soon as he had drifted off to sleep. Tonight, something different hit him, and it didn't relax him.

He walked over to the edge of his room and looked down at Peridot. She was sitting there typing something in gem language that he couldn't understand. That made the feeling even worse. The hollowness in his chest had returned. The emptiness ached, but Garnet was right. He couldn't fuse Tourmaline to get rid of it. Then he smiled at something she said. It gave him an idea.

_The two of you need to learn how to be with each other separately so that you're stronger when you're together._

He leaned closer, and a board underneath his foot creaked. Peridot looked up from her tablet and then straight up at him. She was nervous at first with him smiling at her as if suddenly he would pounce.

"Steven…?"

He stopped smiling and swallowed. Her face was angled up at him upside down, and the tip of her hair gave away against the back of the couch making the blonde strands go this way and that. The way she called his name, she was looking at him  _that_  way again. The way her eyes settled on him was reserved for very few beings in the galaxy. Ones that strode down golden hallways with robes of fine cloth floating on exotic metals that made the floor. Ones that governed and soldiers fought to protect and uphold. Beneath the thrones of these few, beings knelt and offered their everything. Maybe Peridot had given up kneeling, but in her eyes, he saw her offer everything.

"Steven?" She repeated, "Was there something you needed?"

He hadn't moved any closer to it, but the question made him feel like he was teetering off the edge and would fall. He knew he could ask her anything.

She blinked at him, and the tablet's screen in her hands dimmed.

"Y-yes there is." The screen on Peridot's tablet timed out and went dark, and the amber light from the fire illuminated half of her face in a soft glow. "I...need you."

Even in the dim light, he could see her cheeks burn a dark green. She put the tablet down and crawled off of the couch and turned around to look up at him. Her visor vanished, and the blue eyes that stared back at him wanted to know how she could do what he wanted. She didn't know what it meant. It made her eyes flicker with a nervous eagerness and behind them, curiosity. It stirred something deep within him.

"I don't want to sleep alone." He answered the question she was too afraid to ask. The one she felt that a human would know the answer to, and she didn't.

The corners of her lips turned up, "You...want me to join you? All night?" She asked as if she had already asked him so many times before. And she had; silently with her eyes each night. Then she looked to the temple door, and when her eyes returned to him, they had lost all of their hope. "I can't. The gems."

"Forget that. I wanted them to know about us, and if they want me to sleep without you, then we'll sleep outside if we have to."

She giggled but then it faded, and she was looking over her shoulder again at the temple door.

"Come on." He whispered.

She didn't dare another peek at the door. Peridot padded up the stairs, but when she reached the last few, she took them slowly. The wood stairs might as well had red silk carpeting with golden trim. She stood at the top entering the throne room. Before she could decide she didn't belong here, Steven held out his hand to her. Her small green fingers stretched out to take his hand, and her eyes were locked onto his. As soon as she felt his touch, she let her hair down, and it flowed past her shoulders and onto her back.

Steven pulled her close and he muffled her moan of surprise with his lips. She grasped at his neck and he leaned down so she could reach him. Feeling his hands slide to the small of her back, she arched herself against him and hooked her arms around his neck. When he took a step back, she pressed forward, foot following foot shuffling across the floor. Steven lost Peridot's lips against his, but she found his neck instead. Her lips traveled down it leaving a trail of soft presses. And with every press, he could feel her trying to make each one count as if she only had so many and she had to make sure he got them. The soft blonde hair tickled his nose as he kissed the side of her head. When she reached his chest with her lips, he brought his to her gem. Each push against the smooth surface made it respond with a green blink.

"Steven, you're breathing hard. Are the oxygen levels-"

"All levels are fine, don't stop." He half gasped half whispered.

He took another step back and fell back on the bed. Peridot crawled on top of him straddling his hips. She leaned down and joined their lips back together. Her hair fell down in front of her drawing a curtain over their faces as she pushed her lips harder into his. Steven traced her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue and Peridot gasped and then giggled. She kissed him again and sucked on his tongue as he had done to her. The two of them moaned and hummed softly to each other as they kissed.

Steven drew Peridot closer and she sunk deeper into his embrace. She had her hands on his face holding their lips together. He couldn't bring himself to close his eyes with her blue ones staring into his own. The wild intensity behind them held more power than Tourmaline's lightning. He felt it every time she brought her lips to his and pushed with her whole body.

Peridot let out a half-suppressed squeal when he squeezed her ass.

"What are you doing back there?" She breathed down to him.

Steven gave her a sly smile, "Did you like it?" He still had his hand on her ass and she reached back and put her hand over his.

"Yes…" She admitted looking out of the corner of her eyes with a blush.

He squeezed again and rubbed her ass through her uniform with both hands this time. She moaned and he covered it again with a kiss. She smiled through it and kissed back.

"Okay, I really like that." She reported a little breathless.

Peridot began to rock her hips to encourage him to do it again but it also pushed her ass into his crotch with each movement. She gasped when something pushed up between her legs.

"Now what?" She hissed. She reached back and grabbed him through his PJ bottoms, "Steven, why are you shapeshifting right now?"

He grunted at her grip and whispered in the dark, "Easy!"

"Oh, sorry." She muttered and let go. Peridot leaned up.

Steven sat up too, and this made the bulge in his pants press harder against her. Her mouth opened and her whole body shuddered when it rubbed her through the fabric of her outfit. When Steven looked at her, he could see from her eyes that she was beginning to understand. She placed a hand on his chest as she sat in his lap.

"I've studied human anatomy...that's you're…"

Steven blushed, "Yeah…"

Her hand came up to his cheek, and she stroked it, "I didn't hurt you did I?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "No. I'm okay."

The curiosity flickered in her eyes, "Can I ask? What makes it do that?"

He swallowed again and thought for a moment. It was becoming harder to think. She was waiting patiently for his response, and he smiled at her in his arms. She looked so delicate with waves of blonde hair flowing over her shoulders and resting against her arms. His eyes wandered up to her gem, and it was there he found the answer.

Steven cupped Peridot's face in his hands, and when he pressed his lips against her gem, it lit up, as he knew it would, and the small gem went weak. He pulled away, and the beam of the moon through the window became the only source of light again.

"It's what happens when you want more."

Peridot smiled at him and then she suddenly became very serious, "I want to give you anything you want, Steven."

The words made his whole being tremble as if he was in mid fusion and his whole body was made of light. Every particle of his being was moving up and down like a wave, a whip cracking in slow motion and there he was at the tip for the pop.

Steven brought his hands to the straps of her uniform, and at his touch, she lowered her shoulders and held her arms to her sides. He pushed the top down, and two dark green nipples were poking up to him from her petite breasts.

"Do you like- Ahh!" She sucked in a breath as Steven put his lips around one of her nipples and tugged on it gently, "Forget all the other logs..." She managed between a moan waving her hands in the air at her sides, " _This_...is my favORITE." She squeaked. Peridot wrapped her arms around his head and held his face closer to her breasts almost smothering him.

Steven's hand drifted up her exposed side riding the curve of her body. He cupped her other breast and squeezed the soft flesh underneath. He loved the feeling of her chest rising and falling against his face and the flutter of her breath. As he sucked and kneaded, she rested her head on top of his, and her hair fell over both of them.

"Stars, Steven. You make me want more too. Show me." She breathed.

Then his tongue flicked over the nub between his lips, and it made her moan loudly. Her call of pleasure echoed in the quiet house.

Both of them stopped and shot a look toward the hateful temple door. Each colored circle on the star face was a peephole. Steven sighed, and Peridot turned back to him when she felt him lay his face against her breasts. She stroked his hair and held him to her chest, and everything was silent. Their blaze had died to slow roasting embers.

"What's wrong? Is it something I did?"

He raised his head and cupped the side of her face. As she nestled into it, he rubbed her cheek with his thumb, "Of course not, but we can't have more without some privacy. We are going to be loud. Or they could walk in on us."

She adjusted herself in his lap against the bulge that was still pushing into her, "How about your room? Can we go there?"

His eyes lowered, "No, it's dangerous in there. Anything I think of becomes real, and I can't control it. We go in there, and I'm going to lose you in a crowd of a hundred naked Peridots."

She smirked and then chuckled, "Okay. But the temple door is just old homeworld technology. You can reset Rose's room or create a new one and design your own with parameters you can control. The ability to conjure items with thought is just one preference. You can make a room and turn that part off."

His eyes went wide, "I can what? You mean I could do that this entire time? Why didn't the gems know that?"

When she shrugged it made her small breasts bounce, "Most gems only have the knowledge of technology that they need to know for their job. The Crystal Gems most likely stole the tech during the rebellion and only knew a limited amount. If I had to guess, Rose knew more than the rest of them, and so she designed everything. She knew enough to know of the thought request setting at least."

"Can we do that now?" He asked.

She frowned, "It requires all of the existing gems stored in the database of the door's code to give root access to edit an existing room. So we would have to get the gems." She bit the bottom of her lip, "I mean I could hack the door using the tablet. I have it loaded with gem code, but it would take me a long time to trick the door into thinking I was all the gems."

"So wait until morning then huh?" He asked.

Peridot didn't answer. She sighed and glided a hand through his curls. He could see she wanted to get right to work on it. To provide a service.

"You're enough." He reminded her. She smiled, and she seemed to melt a little. "Let's just get some sleep for now."

Peridot slipped back into her uniform straps, and Steven got under the covers holding them up for her to join him. She snuggled up to him and wrapped her legs around his waist. The moment they were locked in around him, it hit him harder than the tablet light and the drum of her fingers against the screen. Her blue eyes peered into his and her hands rested against his neck and the back of his head. She twirled a curl around her finger, and his hands settled on her hips.

"I love you, Steven." She said.

"I love you, Peri" He whispered.

Peridot adjusted herself against him, "Does it go away?"

"...In a bit."

* * *

Steven stirred awake, but the moment he felt the weight of Peridot's body against his own, he didn't open his eyes lest the spell break. He didn't need to see her to know what was there. She was playing small spoon with her butt pressed back into him and her back against his chest. His arms were over her waist holding her there so she didn't get the idea to run from the gems. Peridot's blonde hair seemed to move and lay in its own way, it was draped down her back perfectly away from her shoulder so that he could hold his face near her neck without it smothering him.

Amethyst's voice came from the foot of the bed, "Awwww they're adorable. Look at Peridot's hair when its down."

Another voice from downstairs answered, it was Pearl's, "Leave them alone. Steven said he was tired." He could hear something sizzling on a frying pan.

"In a minute."

The boards creaked, and it made a path from somewhere near the end of the bed over to Peridot's side of the bed. He could feel Peridot shift underneath him.

"P-dot! You have blue eyes!" Amethyst whispered loudly.

There was a hiss, and the covers tugged toward Peridot's side of the bed.

"Don't interrupt Steven's regeneration cycle! Or mine." She said trying to be quiet.

"Come on. Don't be that way. Why didn't you tell me you had blue eyes before huh?" Amethyst asked. Steven slowly brought one of his hands down to Peridot's ass and gently started to rub it. "So the visor was just tinting them green then? And so why...hey Peri, why are you making that face?"

There was a slap under the covers. The rubbing stopped.

"If you must know, it's because you are disturbing me while I am attempting this sleep process," Peridot growled, but Steven could feel her chest rising and falling faster.

"Alright, alright. Five more minutes then. Breakfast is almost ready anyway." Amethyst said. Footsteps went down the stairs.

Pearl and Amethyst's voices started up downstairs in the kitchen. When Peridot heard it too, the mattress shifted, and the air in front of his face rose in temperature a few degrees as she brought her face close to his. His fake sleeping composure broke. He had to chuckle when he imagined how she must be looking at him. Then he felt the warmth of her lips against his own, and he pressed back still without opening his eyes once. She breathed softly as she drew back.

"What am I going to do with you?" She whispered to him.

A sly smile curved against his face, "Whatever you want." He said quietly.

Her silence only made his smile grow larger and when Steven opened his eyes Peridot's blue ones were twinkling back at him. Her legs moved to intertwine between his and not even the scent of bacon from downstairs could coax him to move from the spot. Garnet had reminded him of the part of himself that he just wanted to forget, the human part. He had wanted to run away from it so bad that he had started to lose the reason he was teaching Peridot how to be more human in the first place.

Peridot started to rub his chest with both her hands and she was beaming up at him with contentment. The two of them were anchored to the bed with the feeling of just waking up. The warmth they had trapped beneath the covers promised more than the chilly air outside of their cocoon. And Steven could remember again; this was the reason.

"I liked sleeping." She reported to him, "It's not very time efficient. Actually, it can waste an average of seven to eight hours in a twenty-four-hour cycle. Over the course of just one week, you could lose fifty-six productive hours to sleep alone."

"I thought you said you liked it?"

"I do."

"What about the fifty-six hours a week?"

"I get to spend them all with you." She said as if it was obvious.

He kissed her and squeezed her into a hug. She stifled a moan as she kissed him back.

"Breakfast is ready!" Pearl called up to his bedroom, "Wake up, Steven!"

Steven groaned and said low to Peridot, "I don't want to." He started to roll out of bed and was almost yanked back down when he noticed Peridot holding onto his arm. He looked down at her, and she reluctantly let go.

"Ask about the temple door." She said to him.

Steven smiled and nodded. He went over to his closet and grabbed what he needed to change after a good shower, his usual outfit. Then, he headed downstairs and gave Pearl a sleepy wave as he crossed the living room. He expected her to say something about Peridot laying in his bed upstairs. Peridot was utterly silent as if she was laying up there waiting to hear the tall gem say it too. But Pearl didn't, she only smiled and nodded. Even Amethyst was too busy stuffing her face with a big helping of bacon and eggs. It seemed that the purple gem was no longer in breakfast time out. It was either that or Pearl found it more effort to clean up after Amethyst's attempts at cooking than her own. He made it across the minefield and reached the bathroom then closed the door behind him, all without setting anything off.

He let out a sigh and looked around. All limbs were intact, so he took a shower and changed. This time when he looked at himself in the clear circle he had wiped out of the foggy mirror, he didn't feel wrong about his hair or how messy it looked. He ran a hand through the curls and let them fall where they liked. Then he left the bathroom and walked into the living room and over to the bar.

Pearl was humming to herself and washing Amethyst's dishes, while the purple gem added more wood to the stove. Peridot was now downstairs looking at her tablet on the couch.

"So you want to put another robot in here too?" Amethyst was asking Peridot as she prodded the fire with the poker.

"Steven says during the Christmas challenges some sort of fat human attempts to gain entrance to your home using the fireplace to test your defenses. I  _will_ be ready for him."

Steven grinned and sat down in front of the plate that was already waiting on the bar for him. Three sunny-side-up eggs had been positioned to be the eyes on his plate. There were a couple of sausages that made the nose, and the strips of bacon made a smile.

Steven chuckled, "Thanks, Pearl."

She smiled at him, "Your welcome. How did you sleep?"

He could almost feel Peridot look up from her tablet from behind him. He stabbed his fork into a sausage and brought it up to his mouth before answering.

"I've never slept better."

She dried a plate and put it away, "And how are you feeling today?"

He took another bite and swallowed. Then he looked up at her, "Great."

Pearl nodded and smiled as if she had already expected that answer. She didn't ask him another question as he ate even though he waited for more to come.

Pearl finished the dishes and was cleaning the kitchen and Steven had just taken his last bite of breakfast, when the temple door opened and Garnet stepped out. She stood still when everyone in the room turned to look at her. The fusion looked to Steven.

"You wanted to ask me something, Steven?"

He swallowed and slipped out of the bar stool. Behind him, Pearl picked up his plate and began to wash it. Peridot was peeping at the fusion over her tablet.

"Uh yeah. Peridot said she knows how the temple door works. She says that I don't have to use my mom's old room, I can make my own the way I want it. But to add a new room, I would need everyone to allow me access." He swept his eyes across the room at each gem and added, "I'm older now, and I want some privacy. I want a room for both me and Peridot to stay."

"W-wait that's not what—" Peridot stammered. She looked at the other gems as if Steven had just confessed that she had turned them all into homeworld. They might not mind Steven having his own room, after all, he had access to Rose's, but one that he shared with Peridot? Alone?

"Peridot and I are together, and we want our own room."

"I…" Peridot couldn't bring herself to disagree. She hadn't thought of it before when she had offered the idea, but now that it was in her head she couldn't shake it. A whole room in the temple just for her and Steven?

"Okay," Pearl said.

Everyone turned to look at the tall gem as she walked around the kitchen counter and into the living room. Amethyst for once was speechless. Peridot's eyes were so big they almost filled the entire visor. She wasn't trying to hide them behind the tablet anymore. Garnet stood motionless.

Steven cleared his throat, "Okay?"

Pearl clasped her hands together and nodded, "Yes, Steven. I'm serious."

Amethyst's lips were moving, but nothing was coming out. Garnet joined them all in the living room.

Pearl sighed, "I took a long time last night to think about what happened yesterday with Tourmaline." Peridot put her tablet down on her lap. "It wasn't the warp pad or even the fact that you went alone to face Jasper that upset me the most. It was that you felt you couldn't come to any of us and talk to us about what you were feeling. We had to find out about it whenever you two hit bottom."

Steven and Peridot both lowered their heads.

Pearl crossed her arms, "I'm not saying what you two did was right, but we could have done things differently." She put a hand to her chest, " _I_  could have done things differently. Steven, you're not a child anymore, and I can't keep treating you like one." She turned to Peridot, and the small gem seemed to shrink a little, "And Peridot, you're not our enemy, but I made you feel like you were. I'm sorry."

Peridot was staring at her more than a little surprised.

"So if you two want a room together, you should have it. I trust both of you." Pearl said, "And I want you to trust me too." She looked down and put her hands together in front of her.

Steven went over to the tall gem and hugged her, "I do trust you."

Pearl chuckled sadly and squeezed him back. When she looked over at Peridot, the green gem nodded.

Steven was looking at Garnet now, "Garnet?"

The fusion was quiet for a moment. All of the eyes in the room turned to await her judgment.

She smirked, "Who am I to tear two gems apart? I will allow it, as long as you two promise me that you will come to me if another problem arises."

"We promise!" They chimed together. They shot each other an excited glance then they turned to Amethyst.

Amethyst snorted and waved a hand, "I don't know why you two are looking over here. I'm not going to be the one to break up the shorty squad. You two have  **fun**." She said the word fun with a bassy voice and a waggle of her eyebrows.

Pearl put a hand over her face and Steven, who was standing right next to her, could make out the slightest hint of a blue blush on her cheeks under it.

"When Rose made a room for me, I had to be fused. You two will have to fuse, and Tourmaline will have to make the room. We will give you access," Garnet said. The fusion led the way to the door and stood in the middle of it. As Pearl and Amethyst filtered in with Steven following behind them, Peridot got up from the couch and took the rear. She wasn't sure if she was truly awake or if she was still asleep and would wake up soon to play out today's events in a weird deja vu.

Amethyst and Pearl took up positions on either side of Garnet in front of the door, and Steven and Peridot stood in front of them.

"Ooooohhh I get to see their fusion dance now," Amethyst said.

Steven chuckled nervously and turned to Peridot. They hadn't really made one. It just sort of happened after Peridot had sung her song to him. She seemed to read his mind; She was looking as lost as he was.

"You have to fuse before the ritual," Garnet said.

"Go on," Pearl said.

"Uhhh well…" Steven began, but Peridot grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down to her level planting a kiss hard on his lips. There was a blinding flash of amber light, and the sound of thunder followed. It boomed through the house, and the walls shook.

"Oh, my." Pearl blushed and put a hand to her mouth.

Tourmaline was sitting on the ground with her legs spread out in front of her wearing Steven's dazed expression.

"That was soooooo awesome! You don't even have to dance? I'm gonna do that next time I fuse!" Amethyst said.

"You most certainly will not be doing that with me!" Pearl protested.

Tourmaline got up and rubbed the yellow gem in her stomach. Amethyst was eyeing Pearl and giving her fishy kissy faces from afar; much to the tall gems disgust, "Mmwhaaa Mmmwaaa Mmmwaa."

"Crystal Gems," Garnet said, and Amethyst stopped.

The fusion held out her hands, palm up, toward the door. A red beam of light emitted from her gems and connected to the star on the door. Pearl bowed her head and a white beam of light connected from hers. Amethyst tossed her hair to the side. With a smirk, she pulled her shirt down to expose the gem and make the connection.

Tourmaline turned around and faced the door. The gem on her forehead and stomach began to glow, and the Crystal Gem's disconnected themselves and gathered together to watch. Tourmaline remained connected, but she was staring off as if she no longer saw her surroundings. After ten minutes had passed, Amethyst was starting to get bored.

"I didn't know it would take this long." She said.

"Just wait. They have a lot of choices to make." Garnet advised.

"I'm still not sure about this," Pearl said.

"But you're the one that—" Amethyst was cut off by the sound of something searing into the star on the temple door. The gems gathered around Tourmaline as the beam disconnected and she blinked her eyes a few times. In the middle of the star was an amber circle.

"That's odd. That's not how it went for me. There should be two circles. One pink and one green." Garnet said.

"I didn't do anything different with the code, but this isn't the first time something like this has happened." Tourmaline said, "That robonoid back at the canyon couldn't identify me with its scanners, but it was able to read Jasper's cut and everything. I think all homeworld tech just works weird around me." But it didn't matter. The only thing that did was the amber circle that was now shining back at her.

The star, with each space filled with a different color, was now complete; whole, and Tourmaline was too.

_Look, Steven. It's ours._

Tourmaline placed her hand against the amber notch etched in the door and Pearl saw the way she was looking at it. It made her smile a sad little smile that was proud of them, but it didn't get far off the ground, weighed down by the knowledge of what she had just given up to let them have it. A glow shimmered in the fusion's captivated eyes from the cracks in the door that were beginning to open. Tourmaline gasped in wonder and Pearl watched her take the first step inside. The moment they crossed the threshold, it was done.

Amethyst and Garnet followed Tourmaline inside, but Pearl hesitated outside afraid to take the next step herself.

"Pearl! Come on. It's got a balcony, check it out!" Amethyst was calling from inside.

"...Coming!" Pearl said. She dabbed at her eye with the back of her finger and stepped inside.


	11. Promise Me

When Peridot had told Steven to look — that the room was  _ours_  — she hadn't known exactly what it really meant until Tourmaline took the first steps inside. Her entire existence had been owned by someone else, and all of the things that she referred to as belonging to her, weren't hers at all. Her limb enhancers, her finger screens, her equipment, even her ship belonged to the Diamonds. The ship she had before she came to Earth had been smaller. During the trips, she would sometimes stand alone and look out the viewports when the void outside became its darkest. The stars of other systems would gleam the brightest as if they were little pinpricks in a dark tapestry. Never once did she see herself returning to homeworld during those silent moments. Instead, she would see herself reflected back in the thick vacuum sealed glass, and her eyes would move up to the green gem on her forehead. It would remind her. Next stop T7B. Another planet to survey for resources and another set of kindergartens to plan.

The observation window was all she had. The ship, one of homeworld birth, did not have corridors that led to a living room with a warm fire. There wasn't a kitchen to bake cookies in. There certainly wasn't a bedroom you could retire to so that you could sleep by your Steven. When Tourmaline walked across the room, she drifted by both Amethyst and Garnet as they explored. And when she reached the far wall, opposite of the temple door, she threw open two double doors inlaid with glass onto a balcony. It overlooked another part of the beach. The sun was shining, and rays of natural light were cascading into the room through a row of tall windows. It wasn't winter here.

Tourmaline listened to the sound of waves lapping against the shore, and she tilted her face up toward the soft amber glow of a different star. In that blue sky, it shined brighter to her than any in the darkness ever had. Once again her thoughts fell back to homeworld and of never returning. Tourmaline wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed with a little smile. For the first time, Peridot didn't want to go back, she had finally found her star. Her planet. Her home world.

_I'm glad you're stuck on Earth with me_

Tourmaline wore Peridot's smirk and her hopeful eyes.

_Me too_

"Pearl! Come on. It's got a balcony, check it out!" Amethyst cried. She was laying on her back on a replica of Steven's bed.

The room was something. It was like Tourmaline.

"Coming!" Pearl answered.

The whole room was as large as the living room of the actual house. On the left side from the temple door, was Steven's bed and closet. In the center of the room, embedded inside the ceiling so that it could slide up and down, was a huge tv that was wider than the width of the bed. Peridot giggled inside with the thought of CPH binge sessions with Steven using that. On the right was a workspace that was half shop and half lab. Large homeworld styled displays hung from the ceiling to an adjustable chair that would fit the needs of a smaller gem. Tourmaline grinned at the workbench island and thought of all the things she could create there. They would, of course, have to fill the shelves and walls of the shop with real tools and parts, but the bareness of it all promised anything.

She noticed Garnet was gesturing in the air in front of one of the screens now. From what she could tell it appeared she was scrolling through a document. When Tourmaline came up to see what she was reading, her cheeks blushed amber. Peridot and Steven's last chapter, the one they had written together on Pierre and Percy.

"Wait! That's uh…".

Garnet turned around and asked solemnly, "When's the next release?"

"Oh...well…" Tourmaline smiled and told her.

While the two fusions spoke, Pearl came inside. At first, Pearl stood in the middle of the room, hunched over, her head barely moving from to side to side as if this a war zone and at any minute a mortar could land on her. But something caught her eye that made her stand straight up and blink to make sure she saw it correctly. On Steven's bed, was a teddy bear wearing a leather jacket and sewn to his hand was a red guitar. Amethyst got up from the bed and went over to Garnet and Tourmaline. The yellow fusion was now trying to block the screen from Amethyst as Pearl took a seat on the bed.

The tall gem carefully picked the teddy bear up and cradled it in her hands. It was Red Rocker Bear. Somehow Steven had resurrected it from his memories. She was surprised that he even remembered him. It was before the time of MC Bear Bear. The original RR Bear had taken a nasty spill in some paint and three-year-old Steven had cried like it was the death of a friend. The toy had been unrecognizable, it's leather jacket was discolored, and a white streak ran down its face like war paint. Pearl had tried to wash it, scrubbed it with every cleaning substance known to human and maybe some to gem.

Days Steven cried and moped without it. She went to the store where Greg had gotten it, but there wasn't any in stock. She went to another and another and when there was no more, she went out of Beach city to even more. All the while she carried the bear around with her showing it to the clerks so much that she was running what was left of it threadbare herself. Finally, at the last store she asked, the clerk grabbed her and shook.

"Look, lady, that bear you got there, that's our last one! They don't make them anymore!"

And she had to tell herself to stop.

But one day Greg came in, a hand behind his back. Steven reached out as if begging for a hug and Greg pulled MC Bear Bear out into the open. The way his eyes lit up then is all Pearl had been searching for.

Now she was staring down at the teddy bear. She lifted her head up and looked over at Tourmaline. The three gems were all talking, but she could see Steven there where the fusion stood. She could see those little eyes lit up again even in the shade of amber. But they weren't so little anymore.

Tourmaline caught her glance and Pearl looked away. Their conversation continued on for a few more minutes until something was said low that she couldn't hear. A few moments later a spot next to Pearl sunk down as Tourmaline sat on the bed next to her.

"Cool room, brosis!" Amethyst said quickly before Garnet hauled her out by the arm so the two of them could talk alone. The temple door closed with a thud. All was silent as Pearl stared down at Red Rocker Bear. Even the waves outside had stopped brushing against the sand. Pearl looked up at her and Tourmaline was already smiling.

Pearl tried to smile back but the moment her lips tried to comply with the order everything in her revolted, and she burst into tears. At first, Tourmaline froze and held up her hands as if Pearl was one of Peridot's robonoids who had just started to spritz coolant like a sprinkler. Then, Steven's instincts took over, and the fusion's features eased. She wrapped her arms around Pearl and held her while her body shuddered with grief.

"It's all too fast." Pearl was sobbing over Tourmaline's shoulder. Through bleary eyes, she was looking to the tv in the ceiling, the workshop, the lab, the screens, all of it as if it were a new house that the two of them had moved in to. It was all despite the fact that they had chosen wood paneling and hardwood floor to make it appear like an extension of the existing home. Goodness knows what the two of them would be up to in here. Goodness knows she didn't want to know. Steven was a man now. A fully grown human. He didn't need her anymore. Maybe he would ask her about being a gem, and perhaps at first, when all of this had begun eighteen years ago, that's all she cared to offer. But now it was the last thing she wanted. She just wanted that little boy that forced her to be better, that drew the best pieces of herself out that she had come to admire about herself over the years. It had been like what Rose had done, but better. Those times with Rose were complicated but raising Steven had never been clearer. She never had to question the time she spent with him, except to ask herself if she had given him everything he deserved.

Pearl rested her chin against their shoulder, "I know I have to let you go. You're all grown up."

When Tourmaline answered her, their twin voices spoke, "I'm(He's) not going anywhere." The words circled each other and merged into a soft melody, their voices to the same key as if singing a duet just for her.

The lullaby quieted the quick seizing spasms in her chest, and Pearl pulled back to meet their eyes with dried tears in her own. She felt a little silly, but Steven had always had a way of making you feel a way that you never knew you could feel before. The peridot gem in Tourmaline's forehead, with an amber lock hanging over it, told her that she wasn't the only one that he did that to. But it gave her an idea.

"Peridot. You'll take care of him?" She suddenly asked.

Inside Tourmaline, Peridot was quick to come to an answer, the word 'yes' was on the tip of her tongue, but she was fused with Steven. There was a depth to Pearl's question she could now feel. When she probed it, something opened and offered her more. Peridot had to see it before she answered. She took a few steps back to get a bit of momentum and then ran leaping into the pool between them. All of Steven's memories flooded past her in a bubbly wash, and each watery sphere held a different time. It was year after year of seeing Steven grow up.

_These are real sword techniques, not those silly things from your movies. Whoopsy daisy. Steven, it's okay, I'm gonna be just…_

_And who's your favorite gem? PEEEAAARRLLL. Haha, why thank you._

_We just wanted to make sure you were ready to go on missions._

_Gaahh Steven, we only fuse for deadly situations. Does this look like a deadly situation? Oww! Hey!_

_Steven! Thank goodness you're okay._

Peridot was pulled down into the whirlpool, surrendering entirely to the current. It was smooth and warm and when she touched the bottom the memories surrounded her. She looked up and recognized that this was no jet stream, no whirlpool; she was standing in the bottom of a well. A hole where different memories should reside but instead the ones of Pearl and Steven had rushed in to fill the empty space. Peridot's eyes ran over the hundreds of memories encased in shiny bubbles. All of them spoke one word to her over and over. They chanted it louder and louder by their very existence as if hoping that by ringing loud enough and sincere enough all of the memories could be the truth and not imitation. That one word. That one truth.

_Mom_

Underneath Tourmaline's visor, a single tear slowly rolled down her cheek, and she said, "You'll always be my mom. That won't ever change."

Pearl's face balled up into an expression that was half cry half smile. She was holding back an explosion of tears by sucking in short sobbing breaths. Steven had confirmed all that she felt that she was losing. It meant she was right, and she felt all the worse for being right. Gems didn't have sons, but he was her's all the same. She let it all go with a long pitiful wail of relief and sorrow throwing her arms around Tourmaline. She hung from the fusion as Steven himself had hung from her so many times before, and playing her part, Tourmaline held her close and let her work through it.

When Pearl had quieted down some, she said, "All I ever wanted for you was a peaceful life on Earth, but now I know that homeworld isn't going to let you have it." Pearl looked into their eyes, "Promise me, Peridot; even when I can't, you'll look after him."

The fusion was silent for a moment. There was that question again, and now Peridot had enough knowledge to answer it. Her answer was different this time, and its weight matched that of the question. Pearl's eyes only seem to plead more as the seconds rolled by. Finally, Tourmaline squeezed her eyes shut and grunted as if struggling with something. Her body jerked left and then right. Pearl let the fusion go and leaned back. Just as she thought the two of them would defuse, Tourmaline's eyes snapped open.

With gritted teeth, Peridot answered through Tourmaline as she fought Steven to say it, "I'd shatter to protect him. I promise."

The turmoil settled in Pearl as she heard the words. It gave her peace like throwing water on a fire. But despite Peridot's intentions, it was grease, and it only made the fire spread to the fusion instead.

Tourmaline was standing up, "Why would you say something like that?" She demanded to know from herself. Pearl understood what was going on, but it made them look a little mad doing that and pacing back and forth across the hardwood floor.

Pearl watched them and wiped her face. She waited for a flash of light, the shape of one figure splitting into two, but to her surprise, it never came. She had never seen a fusion quite like theirs. Not even with Garnet. Normal fusions required two beings who were in sync with one another and the smallest of imbalances could throw them off or force them apart. But Steven and Peridot's fusion was chaotic, its flexibility unique. When it counted, most gems could pull together a fusion on common ground against a mutually agreed threat. But most of them would be torn apart by what Steven and Peridot seemed to thrive on; experimentation with each other. It was an exploration of mind and soul that most gems couldn't survive and Garnet had been one of the ones strong enough to prove that she could. As Pearl watched, she could see the two of them arguing internally, but never disagreeing entirely. She couldn't help but wonder what it was that allowed them to bend so far with each other but not break.

"We care about you, Steven. We both want to protect you." The tall gem said hoping that it would break the fusion out of the loop of arguing with herself.

Tourmaline stopped in the middle of the room, "I know." She crossed her arms, "But we'll figure something out. We always find a way." A hard line drew itself across her lips, "No one is getting shattered. It won't ever come to that."

Pearl gave her a nervous fluttering smile. She wanted to believe in Steven's idealism but she couldn't. Right now she trusted Peridot's practicality, if not her ruthlessness. Pearl knew that a part existed in the green gem that would allow her to do what was necessary, she knew it was there because she recognized it in herself. But it was more than practicality that put her mind at ease, it was her promise. If it had come from the green gem alone, she wouldn't have believed it, but through Tourmaline's strained words she heard something more than Peridot say them. It was that something more that had convinced her.

"We'll find a way." Pearl agreed. If only to protect Steven from the alternative.

Tourmaline clasped her hands together, "Are you going to be okay? I was going to go visit Connie today. We have to try to talk to her. Smooth things over."

Pearl held up RR Bear, and it flapped loosely in her hand. She gave a teary chuckle, "I'm fine, just being a little emotional. I don't want to hold you up from Connie."

Tourmaline crossed the room and put a hand on her shoulder, "I'm not going anywhere." She repeated.

Pearl patted her hand and nodded, "I just need a moment by myself."

Tourmaline frowned and hesitated a moment before heading to the door to leave. She looked at Pearl one last time and left.

Pearl watched them go and lowered her eyes down to Red Rocker Bear.

And once again she felt something tell her to stop.

But she couldn't this time. He was her last one.

* * *

Tendrils of amber hair danced in the wind as Tourmaline rode her shield toward Connie's house. When she spoke, the words were ripped from her lips and lost to the roar of the current she surfed. She only spoke out of habit and not for any functional purpose. It directed her energy and gave it purpose.

"Thanks back there. I didn't need to do that alone." She eased her hand out in front of her holding it there to balance.

Tourmaline didn't answer herself, but she put her other hand on top of the gem in her stomach and gave it an acknowledging rub. Even though he had no reason to, Steven felt confident about their visit to Connie's. Maybe it was just because he was Tourmaline again. He had to admit that it might be. They would have to defuse once they got to Connie's of course, but being Tourmaline made Steven understand why Peridot sometimes retreated to her intellect and knowledge. It was comfortable; safe. Just having access to what she knew made him feel more sure of himself. He was always winging it and hoping for the best but Tourmaline could plan. Unfortunately, he brought his own flaw to the fusion, something that he hated: the spontaneity of his powers and the fact that many were tied to his emotions, and now to both of their emotions he assumed. He definitely hadn't planned to get beat by Jasper all over the canyon before finding out that he could shoot lightning. Together their fusion was definitely a mess, and half the time he wondered how they held up so well. But Tourmaline held a confidence neither of them had on their own. Peridot was an era two gem, and he was a half human hybrid. Through amber eyes, they could see each other's limitations, and somehow it brought them peace.

But now his thoughts were rambling through Tourmaline's head, and it made him realize that Peridot had fallen very silent. When he reached out to her, he could feel her there, but she was distracted. She hadn't been listening at all, and maybe that was a good thing, but now he was curious. Something was definitely troubling her. They both shared the same stage in Tourmaline's mind's eye. Steven sneaked off the stage and took a seat in the audience section. As he grew quiet, without conscious thought Peridot's ruminations began to take the stage instead. She seemed so distracted that she didn't notice when they began to broadcast to him, and he watched wordlessly to see what had been on her mind.

The memory of Peridot's ship appeared center stage again. The observation window. The stars that had been sewn into the dark tapestry with a cosmic needle. Steven saw the reflection of Peridot in the glass and her eyes moving up to the green gem in her forehead. T7B. Then Peridot was clanking down a long hall in her limb enhancers and every step she took echoed hollow in every other empty corridor that was connected to it. The lighting was harsh and critical. At last, she stood on the bridge in orbit of a planet that was dense with vegetation and water. It wasn't Earth. It looked peaceful enough, but the metal walls of the bridge seemed colder than the vacuum of space that it held back. Guilt permeated through them. He heard a voice, strong and in charge. It wasn't Peridot's.

_The infestation has been cleansed in facet two. Proceed with the kindergarten and keep the questions to yourself. Leave the organics to me 5XG._

Peridot hadn't realized how far she had drawn the fusion into her thoughts, and Tourmaline said under her breath, "Understood, 4CH."

Peridot caught herself when she heard the words out loud, and she shook the fusion's head bringing her awareness back to being hundreds of feet in the air. Steven had been flying for them. He wanted to learn more from the memory, but now it slammed closed like a door nearly catching his hand. The show was over, and the curtains fell. All that was left was the cast of one looking quite embarrassed about the performance.

Tourmaline furled her brow, "Something happened on T7B."

Then she grimaced, "I didn't mean to share that. I don't want you to see me like that. From before." She put a hand to her face hiding behind it, "It's not what I am now."

"I know it bothers you. I could help you. I'm not afraid of what you use to be, Peridot."

_I am. I am afraid._

The shield wobbled, and her foot slipped forward an inch. Tourmaline squeezed a fist, and the shield obeyed coming back into balance.

There was an extended period of silence, and the stage was now made intentionally empty. There wouldn't be another show today. But Tourmaline finally said, "I...I'll tell you. Just not now. You have too much going on with Pearl and Connie. We still have to think of what to say to her. I'm not good with these things." There was another pause and Tourmaline deflated, "How am I going to find the right words to say when I'm not fused with you."

The fusion smiled, "Sometimes I feel the same when it comes to stuff I don't know that you do. But we have to try. I think Garnet is right. We have to learn how to deal with things when we aren't fused so that Tourmaline can be stronger. We can't use her for everything."

She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed, "I don't know why not." She grumbled.

"There are things that we can only enjoy when Steven and Peridot are together. Like last night…"

A warmth rose in her cheeks, "I liked last night…" She reported in a breathy whisper. The thought ran away from the idea of Connie, and she wanted nothing more than to chase after it. But she couldn't, she had to be there for Steven. She had to think of what she would say.

Steven saw Connie's house in the distance and Tourmaline glided down toward it. With a reluctant drift, the shield brought them down to the street in front of the Maheswaran residence. The disc poofed underneath their feet and with a flash of light Steven and Peridot let each other go. They stood beside each other, and the green gem gave him a nervous glance. And even though Peridot had told him that gems couldn't get cold, she huddled into his side to find comfort there. He kissed her cheek, and she trailed behind him as he took the stairs to the front door.

Steven gave it two sharp raps and waited.

"Maybe she isn't…" Peridot said, but there was movement on the other side of the door, and it cracked open. A wave of warmth collided with them in its escape. Connie's dark chestnut eyes were staring at the both of them as she stood in the doorway and Steven swallowed. She was wearing a red Christmas sweater and jeans with green wool socks the color of Peridot's stockings.

"Hey." He said.

Connie looked down to Peridot and then to him, she opened the door wider and felt a step back. To his surprise, she said, "Come in."

They entered and stood awkwardly in the middle of the living while Connie closed the door behind them. The house was quiet, and Steven guessed that her parents were out. At least the Christmas tree was up, but the room lacked the scent of cookies unlike at his house. Peridot was squirming beside him, and she shot him another shy look as if to check that he was still there and hadn't made a break for it. Connie turned to both of them with a look of reservation. There was an uneasy silence that lingered in the air. Then he heard it.

_Steven needs me to say something. I should proceed with an apology. But what would be the correct order of words?_

Steven blinked. He looked to Peridot, but she hadn't said anything. Connie hadn't either nor had he. Those hadn't been his thoughts.

"I'm kinda glad you guys came. I was going to come over…" Connie began, placing a hand on her other arm.

Steven looked down at himself and wiggled his hand. It wasn't yellow. The fingers weren't slender and delicate. He was wearing his star t-shirt and jeans. And he definitely wasn't wearing golden stockings. He looked back up to Connie. Was he going crazy?

"I wanted to say I was sorry to both of you. I said some terrible things. Things I didn't mean. I thought I was helping you, Steven. Like I was trying to protect you, and I wasn't thinking how I was doing it. Maybe I was trying to protect myself too. We haven't been as close as we use to be and it was sorta complicated before…" She gave a pained expression and rubbed her arm. "And I didn't give you a chance, Peridot. I am happy that Steven has found someone that makes him happy and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I didn't mean those nasty things I said. I was awful." Connie's head was hanging low, her eyes pinned to the floor.

Peridot brought her hands together and fidgeted, "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I called you a shallow strata zeta kindergarten clod, and I know you care about Steven too. I didn't mean to mess up everything so bad with him and his other friends or with you. I'm still learning. I hope you understand that I'm trying to understand. I sometimes make these mistakes in social matters, but I'm trying to fix them." She thought for a moment and then added, "If you were a gem you'd be at least in a gamma kindergarten with a decent cut given there were sufficient resources."

That made Connie laugh, and Peridot smiled. Steven issued a nervous uneven laugh. Whatever he had heard, it hadn't happened again.

"College has been rough for me. Not because of the classes, but because honestly, I'd rather be back here, doing something that matters. Then I got back, and all I wanted was for it to be like the old days. Just me and Steven going on a mission and bubbling a corrupted gem. I got a little caught up. I was afraid of losing...ya know everything...for good. I hope you can forgive me, I'd like to start over."

Connie came closer to the green gem and held out her hand. It hovered in the air and Peridot gave it a blank stare.

"Oh." Connie chuckled, "You take my hand and shake it. It means we agree."

Peridot gave her hand to the girl and watched Connie shake it up and down then she looked up at her.

"I agree," said Peridot beaming.

Connie smiled.

Peridot dropped her hands down by her sides, "If this college is something you don't want to do, you should stop and do what you like. Earth has taught me that you don't need to feel forced into doing something that you hate just because you have been trained to do it."

"Well...I couldn't do that...my parents would be so disappointed. How can I tell them that I want to be a college dropout and come back to Beach City so I can fight monsters with a sword?"

Steven was still looking around for the source that belonged to the phantom words he had heard, but he already knew the voice that had said them. Peridot. But her lips hadn't moved. He wasn't fused...had it bled over...or? No that couldn't be possible. Maybe it was a new power? Could be, it always came at the worst times, and this was one of those times.

Peridot held out her hands in front of her palm to palm as if to point, "As I see it, you have two courses of action. Tell your parents you want to be a Crystal Gem or live forever in misery in this college."

Connie chuckled, "No college isn't forever…" But she trailed off as she started to understand a deeper meaning from the gem's words. Then she said a little bewildered, "Maybe you're right…"

Peridot grinned and crossed her arms, "Of course I'm right."

"What do you think, Steven? You've been really quiet. Are you okay? I hope you're still not upset. I would understand if you were..." Connie said.

Peridot turned to him suddenly, and her eyes checked him over as if to do a full medical exam with a single glance.

"What? Oh, no. I'm not upset, Connie. I completely understand. You were just trying to help." He cringed inside. He had said it so dismissively as if trying to sum up his part of the conversation rather than be involved. Peridot raised an eyebrow. He quickly added, "I think you should do what you really want to. We all miss you, and we sure could use your help these days."

"Really?" Connie's enthusiasm was rising. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and Steven sighed internally. Good, a distraction.

Connie pulled out her phone, "Huh, it's an emergency update to Ronaldo's blog. It's live." She was tapping a few buttons.

"You still follow that?" Steven asked.

She looked up and smiled with a little embarrassment, "It's a way I can see what's happening around here while I'm gone."

"It's invasion! This is it folks, my loyal viewers, my fellow intellectuals.  _This is it!_ " Ronaldo was shouting from Connie's phone speakers.

Connie held a hand up to her mouth, "Oh my god, Steven. You have to take a look at this."

Steven and Peridot flanked her on both sides and peered down at the screen. Ronaldo was shaking his phone around on what looked like the boardwalk, but even through the unsteady hands, Steven could make out robonoids firing cannons. Some of the businesses had caught fire. As Ronaldo swept his camera out toward the beach. They could hear explosions go off and they could see him take cover behind a trash can.

"Oh, crap," Ronaldo whispered as three spider looking robonoids skittered past his hiding spot. "I'm going to try to get a better look." He said pushing the camera over the top of the trash can. Through fire smoke that billowed out of one of the businesses — Steven couldn't tell which one from the camera angle — a huge dome-shaped robonoid stomped into view with plasma cannons at the ready. An assassin robonoid. Steven squinted. Another silhouette was walking through now.

A gem stepped into view, and Steven felt as if his gem had just dropped to the floor and rolled underneath Connie's couch. With a trembling hand, he slapped a hand over it to make sure it was still there. Standing proudly in the middle of the boardwalk next to her own creation was a gem with green skin. She had a visor that tinted her eyes the same color. Her blonde hair formed a neat triangle and set in her chest was a green peridot gem. She was tall but wore no limb enhancers. She was encased in a full skin tight bodysuit that was crafted from the same material the robonoid was. He didn't know what the suit was capable of, but it looked like a weapon itself.

"Under the orders of Yellow Diamond, I have come for the hybrid known as 'Steven Universe' and the fugitive Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG. You will come peacefully, or the infestation of humans in this facet will be cleansed."

_An Era 1 Peridot_

But the thought wasn't his. He slowly turned to look to its owner, his Peridot, and he said it out loud, "It's an Era 1 Peridot."

Connie shut the video off, "We have to go now and help them!" She was already pulling her boots on and opening the door.

Peridot stumbled over to Steven as if in a daze. Connie was out the door and walking outside onto the sidewalk.

"Steven...I can't...She's better than…" The small gem wasn't looking at him as she stammered it out. She was holding her hands into fists against her chest.

He grabbed her by her arms and made her look him in the eyes, "She isn't better. Not better than you or us. Tourmaline can stop her."

"What...what if she...can't?" Peridot said in a terrified whisper.

Steven brought his hands up to her face, and her shoulders slumped. Her lips parted as he leaned in to answer her with a kiss. It offered her a confidence that neither of them possessed.

"Hey guys, I don't see Greg's van! How did you get here?!"

Inside the house, rays of amber light poured out of the windows and the open doorway. The sound of thunder struck, and it rattled the windows.

"Oh crap, what was that? My mom's going to kill me!" Connie rushed back up the stairs and slammed right into Tourmaline in the doorway.

Connie slowly raised her gaze up to meet the fusion's eyes that were dark like gathering storm clouds. A slow building rage like rolling thunder smoldered within them. It made her go quiet. She had been afraid when she saw the era 1 gem but something in the fusion's eyes frightened her even more.

Connie jumped when Tourmaline summoned her yellow shield. The amber lightning bolt sparked with power in its center.

"I won't let her hurt them." Tourmaline growled, "Ready?"

Connie bobbed her head up and down speechless and then she realized she was still standing really close to the fusion. She went back down the stairs with the fusion following behind her, "I'm a Crystal Gem. I've got your back."

Tourmaline threw the disc that was in her hand on the ground forming a flat tower shield. She got on it, and when she held out her hand, Connie took it looking cautiously at the shield at their feet.

In the next moment, a scream streaked through the air, "OOOOOOHHHHHH GOOOOOOOSSSSHHH!"

On the horizon, black smoke darkened the sky.


	12. The Light that Comes from the Darkness

Tourmaline and Connie were hurtling back to the coast of Beach City as fast as the fusion could manage without throwing the human girl off. Connie clung to her, both arms wrapped around her midriff, hands coiled into her orange crop top. Tourmaline took in the scent of smoke, the faded screams, the cannon fire. Steven could feel a fury building like that of the storm as he had felt in the graveyard, but nothing could silence it this time until he could see the boardwalk, until he could see his friends alive and okay.

When Peridot thought of the era 1, she saw that image again. Herself reflected in the observation window. They shared those same green eyes that could only calculate, could only analyze. They had the same peridot gem. And she it hated it. Hated her. Those weren't her real eyes. Her eyes were blue. She was different. Steven had told her she was. That she could be.

Their thoughts twisted inside of them spinning together until the pool between them had become a cyclone. If only they could throw themselves against the shore and quench the flames and blow the smoke away, they would. And where would that leave the era 1? Swept up in their destruction.

"Oh gosh, that's a long way down. A really long way down." Connie held on tighter after making the mistake of looking down. Her dark hair was fluttering in the wind, and her eyes were watering with drops of tears in the corners. Tourmaline could feel her trembling against her, but it was from more than the cold. The fusion wrapped an arm around her and held her tight bundling the two of them up against the current. That seemed to quiet Connie's shaking. Tourmaline looked down at her. At the touch, Peridot felt another opportunity like the one with Pearl. Steven was always vulnerable to her, always letting her see him. How could she hide herself from him when he always offered her anything she asked to see? She took from him again what he offered so freely. He wanted her to understand, and it hit her all at once.

_I'm doing this for you! I need to be able to protect you!_

_No, Steven. I understand now. Your legacy, your destiny. You're everything._

_The Earth is my home too. Can't I help protect it?_

Tourmaline blinked her eyes and Connie had already turned up to look at her returning the fusion's gaze. Through Steven, Peridot could see.

"It would make me feel better if you were watching where we were flying!"

The fusion brought her attention back to what was ahead of them. The lighthouse and the temple were growing bigger but so too was the rising smoke. The shouting and the sound of battle were getting louder.

"Just be careful down there."

"Which one of you said that?" Connie asked still looking up at them.

Tourmaline turned her face down toward her, her features hard, when she replied, "I did."

They were almost to the boardwalk, and the smoke cloud had risen to be a wall that threatened to topple and smother the entire town underneath itself.

"Hold on. Close your eyes and mouth." Tourmaline ordered as Peridot mentioned the effects of smoke on the human respiratory system.

Connie squeezed her eyes shut and held a breath. The two of them soared through the dense cloud and popped out of the other side. Connie didn't dare look down again for fear of the height but the fusion couldn't either. She was afraid of what she might see and had to drop Connie off before she could help. Tourmaline guided the shield to the temple and flew up to the deck. Connie hopped off.

"Welcome, Connie. We are currently under attack. It is nice to meet you." Howard said pointing his cyclops lens in her direction.

"Get the sword. I'll meet you down there."

Connie nodded and ran inside, and Tourmaline shot back into the sky to survey the battle from above. Skittering deeper into the town was a group of spider drones. They would be headed for something explosive or flammable. Pearl was pulling Mr. Fryman out of his burning shop while holding off a flying robonoid with her spear. In the distance, farther down the boardwalk, Garnet was in mid-fight with the era 1 Peridot. The era 1 was firing plasma bolts out of her arm-mounted launcher and was attempting to stay at a distance from the swinging fusion. She had to get over there and help. Tourmaline started to fly in that direction toward them when she noticed Amethyst below her running on the beach from a group of spider robonoids. She had been outnumbered and had managed to break away, but they were right behind her.

Tourmaline stopped the shield above the pathway of the robonoids and took a diving leap. And she let go. She was the pool that held Steven and Peridot together and right now she was their fury. Her physical form dissolved into an unstable amber light that was only held together by the gems contained in the fusion. Amethyst heard a crack in the sky and froze. When she turned around and looked up, an amber arc of energy tore through the air. Their body of light formed a bolt and flaring off of it were branches of heat. And at that moment they were transformed into power, into rage, into retribution. Amethyst gasped. In a blinding flash, they crashed into the sand in the middle of the battalion of spider robonoids. A blast of lightning exploded on impact. The energy expanded in crackling waves and forks of electricity buried themselves and then sprung back up sending a cloud of dust up of sand. Its power peeled the plating off the drones using their cores as conduits. A terrible glee surged through Tourmaline as she felt the robonoids tremble and convulse through her tendrils of current. Each stroke of lightning was a part of herself, the branches like arms and the tips like fingers. She could feel herself overcharge the machines and leave them empty husks. A shower of scrap and glass shrapnel rained to the ground and on top of Amethyst.

In the moment of the flash, the purple gem could see Tourmaline's outline in amber energy knelt down. As she rose to her feet, their physical form began to regenerate. Once fully formed, the fusion crunched through the crater of glass past the smoking heaps of gnarled metal limbs that curled toward the sky.

Amethyst looked up at her in awe and said softly, "I'm never going to see anything cooler than that ever again."

Tourmaline brushed a few fragments off the shorter gem's shoulder, "Just stick around for awhile," She said wearing Peridot's smirk. Then she frowned when she saw Pearl fire blasts from her spear toward a group of flying drones. Pearl and Mr. Fryman were attempting to fall back to a group of people who had gathered where the beach began, and the boardwalk ended. Tourmaline looked to Amethyst, "Connie is coming to help from the temple. Take her and go deeper into the town. I saw more robonoids head that way."

Amethyst nodded and took off toward the temple. Tourmaline ran for the boardwalk toward Pearl. Three drones pulled away and launched their plasma at her. She raised her arm summoning her shield and blocked the incoming fire. Thrusting her free hand forward, amber sparks quickly generated running down her arm and flying up into the air toward the first drone like a crackling arrow. The trail of light felt like an extension of her body and throwing it forward was merely reaching out toward them. Tourmaline pushed farther trying to reach beyond. As soon as the branch of lightning hit the drone like shimmering vines, it bounced. She twisted her hand guiding the extension of herself into another direction. Like a pinball machine, the bolt chained between the remaining drones lighting them all up. She released her grip on the bolt, and it retracted back to her in an instant.

The drones fell from the sky, and Pearl and Mr. Fryman covered their heads. They ran to relative safety amongst the group of survivors and Tourmaline joined them. She could see that no one had been seriously injured. And to her relief, there were no bodies on the boardwalk. At the fusion's observation, Peridot answered.

_She isn't trying to kill them so she can force us to surrender. She is destroying what she thinks are their dwellings to show us she is capable of it._

Knowing how the other Peridot would operate didn't make them feel better in the slightest. It only made it worse. Pearl pushed her way through the mass of people and hugged Tourmaline, "I'm so glad to see you two here, and you're safe."

Tourmaline gave her a quick squeeze and pulled away squaring her jaw, "I have to go help Garnet. She's fighting that thing by herself."

"Go. I have to stay with everyone here." Pearl said.

Tourmaline turned to leave, but a voice shouted above the group, "Sadie! Where is Sadie?! She isn't here!"

Jenny burst out of the crowd, and spotting the first person that could help, she grabbed Pearl's arm, "Pearl! I don't see Sadie!"

They all knew where she must be if she wasn't here. The three of them turned toward the Big Donut. The windows and the front of the store were blaster riddled. Smoke was pouring through the holes left behind, but there wasn't any sign of the girl. Tourmaline looked back at the fight going on farther down the boardwalk. Garnet had fired her gauntlets into the era 1 who had successfully kept her at a distance. But to Tourmaline's horror, the green gem strutted out of the debris. She was cackling, and she seized the fusion in a tractor beam.

"Just hold on a little longer, Garnet. Please." Tourmaline whined and took off toward the Big Donut instead.

She felt like she had received a dose of her own lightning when she reached the door. A part of the ceiling had collapsed behind the door sealing it off from the inside. Tourmaline went to the window and bashed it in with her shield. A black cloud of smoke fled into the fresh salty air of the beach and hit the fusion right in the face. She couldn't see past her visor. Her chest tightened expecting a coughing fit, but her chest no longer rose up and down or drew breath.

_A gem's projected form adjusts to the environment around them. The vacuum of space is much colder than the current temperature._

Tourmaline almost smiled at the thought, but there were more pressing matters.

"Sadie! Are you in here?! Please, answer me!"

But there was no answer. There was no time to wait for one. Tourmaline dived through the broken window and rolled to the floor. The fire was a voracious monster licking its way all around the room. Its appetite wouldn't be satiated until it had devoured everything. The building creaked and groaned with its laughter coming deep from its belly. Out of its open maw smoke poured to mock her with what it had already consumed. She wouldn't let it take Sadie with it. Tourmaline brought herself low and crept toward the end of the counter. When she rounded it, there was no Sadie.

"Sadie!" Tourmaline called out. She looked around the small shop. The rest of the ceiling looked as if it would go with the rest any second now. Then she heard a metallic knock. It had come from the back room door. Tourmaline grabbed the handle and could hear the sizzle that it made against her hand, but she was detached from the feeling. She slowly pulled it open and laying on the floor in front of it was Sadie in her work uniform. Her face was dark from spots of soot.

The cyclone inside Tourmaline twisted faster and faster staring at the limp body in front of her until she felt like she could blow off the entire roof of the building herself. She rolled the girl over in her arms and picked her up then summoned her bubble to surround them. Through its yellow tint, she could see their way out back through the window.

"Just hold on. I got you." She whispered down to Sadie and held onto her tightly. She slowly walked to the other side of the store. At the midway point, the back room all but collapsed into itself, and she froze with a wince. That would be them next. That could have been on top of Sadie already. Tourmaline kept trudging forward until she reached the window. Barbara, Sadie's mom, was standing outside and as soon as she saw them both, she rushed to the window. Her hands bounced off the bubble when she tried to reach out.

"Oh my god. My baby." She was crying and holding out her shaking hands.

Tourmaline released the bubble and Sadie's mom scooped her daughter up into her arms pulling her away from the burning building. The fusion crawled out herself, and as her chest started to rise and fall again, she felt dizzy.

Barbara was on her knees now with Sadie laying on her back. Tourmaline stumbled over to them and joined Sadie's mom on the ground.

"She's not breathing. She...isn't breathing…" Her mom was weeping. She held back her breakdown and pulled herself together enough to attempt CPR. Steven had seen it done on television a few times, but he had never learned to do it himself. Never took a class. Tourmaline could only watch and hold a breath she didn't even need anymore. She bent low getting on her hands and knees getting eye level with the girl's chest and waited for the first signs of Sadie taking in air.

Barbara was already counting the compressions out loud, "7, 8, 9, 10…"

The world was shaking. Tourmaline was holding herself up and swaying gently as if she would fall over next to Sadie and join her. The cyclone inside her was tearing everything apart. Only Steven and Peridot inside the eye were safe. The pool between them was boiling, and the movement their tempest caused was drawing something from deep within the abyss. But it wasn't coming for her anymore.

"18, 19, 20, 21…"

Tourmaline couldn't hear the words anymore. Sadie's mom was miming them now. Everything was a silent movie and the fusion begged for a cut where the words would pause the action and explain everything that was going on. The roar of the storm inside her thundered in her ears. A white noise that suffocated every other sound.

"28, 29, 30…" Barbara leaned down and gave Sadie two breaths. As she started the process over again, Tourmaline knew it wouldn't work. She now noticed the plasma burn on her side. It must have stopped her from being able to escape while the fire built. The fusion loomed over Sadie, and her shoulders shook in a quiet sob. Her tears pattered down to the girl's lifeless body. But a sound broke through the terrible silence. It was a cackle, shrill and pleased. Tourmaline turned her head to look at the source, tears in her eyes.

"Oh, 5XG. I know you're in there. How soft these creatures have made you. Stand up and surrender and I'll spare the lives of the remaining beings." Tourmaline's eyes lowered to the two gems that were hanging at the era 1's belt. They almost seemed to be magnetized. A ruby and a sapphire gem. The Peridot smiled, "And I assure you. A simple pearl will not stop me."

Tourmaline stood to her feet. Barbara had now realized what the fusion already knew about her daughter, and she was crying. The blazing fires continued to rage down the boardwalk. Tourmaline slowly, one unsteady foot in front of the other, started toward the gem. She raised her hand, and the era 1 didn't even flinch.

She only smirked; but it wasn't like Peridot's, "I optimized my suit to absorb your energy fields. I don't know where or how you learned that trick, but you disgrace the Diamonds with every discharge. I wouldn't try it."

The cyclone was everything now. Tourmaline didn't know where Peridot or Steven even were. She didn't know where they could fit because the entire storm filled every space she had. The darkness rose from the abyss. The sludge and the tar formed a hand, but it had not come for them. It was her hand now. It was outstretched toward the other Peridot. The hateful gem. The gem that was going to take everyone away from her. The gem that told her who she really was. Told her she could never be anything else. A pink shimmer of energy started at the fusion's shoulder and wiggled down to her hand and to the tips of her fingers. She was in a haze and that dark hand that was hers but wasn't hers; she didn't know what it would do to the gem, but she wanted all of this to stop.

The era 1 froze as if that hand had reached out and grabbed her by the throat. Tourmaline was standing in front of her now and the fusion's eyes were dark like the sky before a tornado drop.

Tourmaline was in the middle of the graveyard and now she was the fury in that place. She was its rage. The sleet blinded her until the white noise was more than sound, it was all she could think. All that remained was destruction.

She opened her mouth and sung notes that didn't belong to her, "Aah-haa-haa, aah-haa-haa." Behind her words a discordant tune that no human vocal chords could ever create started to emit. The era 1 couldn't move. The fusion's hand, surrounded in pink light, stretched out palm facing outward, and a sphere of light began to grow there.

"Aah-haa-haa-haa-haa-haa-haa." The Peridot was struggling to raise her hand up to the fusion, her arm trembling with each inch of progress against the hold. Her face was beginning to change color and splotches of purple slithered up her neck like moving polka dotted paint.

Pearl was running across the beach toward them leaving everyone else behind, "Noooo! Steven! Stop! You don't understand what you're doing!"

"Aah-haa-haa, aah-haa-haa" The light grew to an orb in her hand, and under Tourmaline's dark glare, terror rose in the green gem's eyes as the corruption wracked her body under the suit.

The fusion didn't feel anything cold nudge against her chest. She didn't feel the barrel pressed against her. Over the sound of her melody, she couldn't hear the click of the arm-mounted cannon fire the destabilization beam.

"Aah-haa—" The song was suddenly silenced, and the light vanished. Tourmaline sucked in a breath as the energy coursed through her whole body. The era 1 gem collapsed to her knees in front of them with a gasp, and she quivered from the pain as the corruption began to subside. Her physical form was returning to normal.

Inside Tourmaline, the cyclone dropped and Peridot and Steven free fell holding onto each other. The destabilization energy penetrated the fusion like a poison. It entered her and wormed its way inside to find the two gems. Pearl could only watch as destabilization lines stretched across Tourmaline's face and body tearing her apart. The era 1 was wobbling to her feet in front of them.

"I...I...designed that one...just for...you." The gem managed with a pained grin.

Steven and Peridot clung to each other tightly, but it didn't take long for the poison to find them and begin to pull them apart. They tried to fight it, and Steven could see the confidence disappear in Peridot's eyes replaced with that same quiet terror. They were ripped from each other's embrace and they held each others hands interlocked. But the energy plucked their fingers away one by one until at last it split them. Peridot screamed and the two of them were falling by themselves into the abyss.

Pearl drew her spear and marched toward the era 1 gem who was still regaining her legs.

"You're not going to take my baby."

Before Pearl could make it very far she stopped again. Tourmaline had convulsed backward at the shock of the blast and her back had arched but now she was slowly bringing her arms down and pushing her back forward. Their physical form started to melt away, and instead of destabilization lines, a silhouette of amber light was underneath.

As Steven and Peridot fell, they heard a third voice cry out, "No!"

Tourmaline grabbed Steven and Peridot's outstretched hands between herself and pulled them like weights toward each other. With all of her might she grunted and drew them in closer.

"AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!" Tourmaline cried. It took all of her being. In each hand, it was as if she held a cord attached to two planets and she was drawing them together with only her strength. Steven and Peridot looked at Tourmaline in amazement and then waved their hands in the air toward each other as inch by inch she pulled them back together.

Steven felt Peridot's hand touch his, and they wrapped their arms around each other. They stopped falling.

Pearl watched as the amber form of Tourmaline stood straight up. She blinked eyes of light and brought them down to look back at the era 1 gem who was now backing away.

"Thats...you can't..." The Peridot was stammering.

She watched in bewilderment as Tourmaline's physical form put itself back together and the yellow gems in her forehead and stomach shined in defiance.

"What...are you?"

Tourmaline narrowed her reformed amber eyes, "Something entirely new, and I won't let you hurt them."

A shadow grew in front of the era 1 from behind her. She retreated away from the fusion and pushed back into the gem standing behind her. Tourmaline looked up a little surprised.

"And that's Jasper."

Jasper seized the Peridot up by the arms ripping her into the air. Tourmaline snatched the two gems off her belt as she was lifted up, and Tourmaline clutched them to her chest. She had no idea what Jasper was doing here or why, but strangely, she was glad to see her for the first time. Jasper tightened her grip on the Peridot and crushed the arm-mounted cannon into sparking circuits and hanging scrap metal. The green gem was quick. She leaned forward and stomped her boots into Jasper's chest before firing her jet boots. The orange gem was thrown back to the ground as the era 1 soared into the air above them.

She turned around to face them hovering, "So you really are with them! With this abomination of a gem! The great war veteran is a traitor!"

Jasper leaped back to her feet and jabbed a finger up at her, "Your lies. Not mine!"

Tourmaline looked a little befuddled between the two of them, and her confusion grew as Jasper smiled.

"Ooohhh...now I remember you. 8LG," Jasper said with amusement.

But the green gem didn't seem amused at all, "You abandoned me on that planet! You  _are_  a traitor as far as I'm concerned!"

Jasper waved a hand, "I thought you were shards. I did what I had to do to complete the mission."

The Peridot flashed her a wicked grin, "Well, now I am too."

"Claiming I've turned traitor is how you want to get me back?"

The green gem scowled with disgust at the two of them, "No. I've tried to be reasonable. Now I won't accept your surrender."

"I wouldn't accept yours! Come down here you coward!" Jasper spat.

The two of them watched as the green gem pointed herself to the sky and her boots lit up shooting her into the air. Jasper growled and stomped a hole into the boardwalk.

The fire was still raging on the buildings. Tourmaline turned to Jasper, "We'll get her. Help me put these fires out. Please, Jasper," Tourmaline said.

"I did have her!"

Jasper looked up at the soon to be smoking ruins and then back to the shape of the era 1 becoming smaller in the distance. Finally, she grunted, "I'll help you if you help me. You're what she wants. You will help me track 8LG down, and she's mine to do what I like. And I get whatever ship she came here on."

Without hesitation, Tourmaline replied, "Deal."

Behind her, she heard a voice.

"Steven?"

With Ruby and Sapphire nestled in her hands, Tourmaline turned around. Sadie was standing on the boardwalk in her charred work clothes. Her skin and hair were pink.

 


	13. What I've Become

The fire fed itself on the timber of the boardwalk, and in each eye, among the group of huddling survivors, was its reflection of destructive amber. It had moved from building to building with detachment as if underneath the flame was a mindless beast lost to a dispassionate madness.

Sadie stood on the boardwalk, her eyes hesitating over the yellow gem in Tourmaline's stomach before returning them to meet the fusion's.

"Steven?" She repeated.

Tourmaline stared. She found the plasma burn on Sadie's side, a black discoloration against her pink tone. Instead of running to her, instead of sweeping her up into a hug, she stood frozen with Ruby and Sapphire in her arms. She held the gems close and hoped that some guidance would leak through but it didn't. Sadie still looked scared and confused, so at last, Tourmaline nodded solemnly. She had brought Sadie back from the dead. But how? Was it the same way she had just tried to protect everyone? What had she really done?

The pink girl smiled as if she could now recognize her friend behind the amber eyes, "Steven, you healed me." Barbara was coming up the boardwalk toward them, but moving slowly like a sleepwalker and only looking at her daughter. She stood behind her and hugged the girl from behind as if exhausted. She held onto Sadie to steady herself. She was dizzy with delirium for entertaining the thought that her baby had crossed to the other side, and that a girl with amber hair and yellow skin had the power to rip her back. And that this girl had used it.

"No...Sadie. You were dead," Tourmaline answered for the two gems inside her. It was Peridot reporting and Steven wincing at the words.

Barbara sunk into silence and Sadie's smile faded with confusion.

"No, that...what? That's silly. The smoke just..." Sadie caught Tourmaline's eyes moving down again. She followed the fusion's gaze, and she found the plasma burn on her side. Her hand came down to the wound. Her fingers carefully running along the patch of black. And that's when she noticed the pink that had come with it.

Jasper, who had been standing beside the fusion, watching with a morbid interest, asked, "Have you corrupted this creature as well?"

Tourmaline tensed and her head snapped to the side to look at Jasper. She squeezed Ruby and Sapphire hugging them to her chest, "I...I didn't corrupt her. I brought her back."

The smile that came over Jasper's face was as deadly as the flames on the boardwalk. She seemed pleased with herself as if something had been confirmed.

"The power to heal your own soldiers, and now the power to bring them back from death, or corrupt them. Rose, you truly are something. An abomination manipulating life and death like it's yours to do so. Always without thought; careless and selfish. This is the very reason why the Diamond's are the only ones wise enough to wield it. But you try." Jasper's self-satisfied smile quickly flashed to hatred, "And others suffer."

The tip of Pearl's spear appeared inches from Jasper's neck, "That's enough out of you."

Jasper's smile returned, "Do it."

Pearl was poised to thrust forward, but she held herself back. Jasper swatted the spear away, and Pearl stepped back and clutched it against her chest. She had overheard Tourmaline's deal with the orange gem, her threat a warning only. Pearl put her spear away. She gave a glance at Sadie who was now crying and asking her mom questions she didn't have answers to. Pearl walked over to the fusion and took Ruby and Sapphire from her hands.

"You saved your friend, Steven."

Tourmaline looked at Sadie. She was being held by her mother. The last time they had seen each other, Steven had hurt her. He had almost lost the chance to apologize. And he remembered being very angry. Tourmaline held up the hand that had held the orb of corrupting light. Now it seemed like someone else's hand. Someone who hadn't just wanted to protect people. Someone that carried such rage and pain and had wanted to corrupt that gem. It wanted to make her suffer as they had suffered. And when the question came, it echoed in the place that held Steven and Peridot together.

_Whose hand was it?_

And that's when they defused in a burst of amber light. Jasper took a step back in surprise, and for the first time, Pearl didn't seem happy to see them separate. Peridot was standing between Steven and Sadie. When the light cleared from his view, Steven saw a haunted look in the green gem's eyes staring back at him. The way the people were watching the fire is how she was watching him now. It chilled him to the bone. He had never seen anyone look at him like that; Peridot looked afraid. And he realized it hadn't been someone else. The answer was...it had been him.

She put her hand on his arm carefully as if she wasn't supposed to. Is that what she thought? Did she think that what Jasper said was true? Maybe...maybe it was. He flinched. Peridot drew her hand back at his reaction, and she looked as if she might cry. She looked away. She couldn't even bring herself to look at him. There was shame in her eyes. She was ashamed of  _him_. Of what he had done. What he must have made them do. He had truly thought that Sadie was gone. He had been the one who had suffered. He felt the remnants of that anger subsiding in him now.

Peridot looked at the ground when she spoke, "Steven, I know of a method that will extinguish the fire. I'll take Jasper for assistance. It would be better if you were the one that talked to Sadie." She drew away from him further wrapping her arms around herself, "and everyone else."

Steven wanted to tell her he was sorry, that she didn't have to be afraid. That he never meant to do anything like that. That he would never hurt her or anyone else but in his head, he heard the discordant tune Tourmaline had sung. The one that would have scrambled the era 1's mind and body; an era 1 that looked exactly like Peridot. His Peridot. He couldn't remember how he had been like it hadn't been him at all. All he could remember was Tourmaline. In the rush, it had been almost impossible to separate his own feelings from hers. Even the destabilization energy couldn't manage to tear them apart, and no gem had survived a blast like that before that he had ever seen or heard of. Steven had spent most of his life trying to find a cure for the corruption, and yet he had been so angry. And his anger must have become Peridot's through the link. Had he really wished that punishment on another gem himself? He wouldn't have believed it, but the orb of light had been his color. Not amber. Not green. He couldn't promise any of the things he wanted to say.

Instead, he just said, "Okay. Be careful."

Peridot said something to Jasper, but Steven didn't hear it as the weight of Pearl's hand came to rest on his shoulder. He watched as the two gems made their way toward the remains of the large assassin robonoid lying on the beach. Jasper was moving with determination and focus as if slipping into a familiar mode of operation. It wasn't the enthusiasm of a person eager or desperate to save lives. It was the efficient movements of a soldier carrying out orders with the same concern that the fire regarded its fuel.

Pearl stood by Steven's side in silence. Peridot's small form disappeared into the innards of the robonoid. After a few minutes, Jasper received new orders. She hopped up on the metal rack that held the plasma cannon and taking it in both hands, aimed it manually toward the fire. For a moment he thought that Jasper had betrayed them already. But to his relief, the cannon began to fire blue repair gel. Peridot must have rerouted the tubing from the cannon to the robonoid's repair gel store. He wondered for a moment if it was the fusion bleed effect that told him this, but it was simply that he had spent so much time with her. Parts of her had started to rub off on him. He wished that the power would activate again, whatever it was. He wanted it to tell him what she was thinking, what she felt about him. But her eyes had said everything. The crowd on the beach cheered as the gel began to put the fire out. Effortless, Jasper moved the cannon sweeping a stream of gel across the buildings of the boardwalk.

The people of Beach City rushed over to the two gems except for three people, Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck, who were instead coming over to see Sadie. Pearl noticed too, and she leaned down to speak low to Steven.

"Now is your chance to talk to your friends. They needed you, and you were there. You saved them."

He looked up at her, and when she saw his face, there was a look of worry, one he had seen a million times, aimed at him. "I don't know what I did. I don't know if that's what I was trying to do."

Pearl ran a hand through his curls drawing him into a hug. She settled her chin against the top of his head, "I know your heart, Steven. You'd never do anything to hurt anyone like that. You're protective of the ones you love and seeing them hurt hurts you. You didn't know what that power was. You were just trying to protect yourself and everyone else." Steven looked up at her. She didn't meet his eyes when she added, "Maybe...maybe it was for the best. If Tourmaline hadn't, we might have lost."

"No." He said, "It wasn't worth it. If I have to corrupt a gem to win, I don't want to win."

Pearl brushed his hair back and gave him a sad smile, "And that's how I know you didn't mean to."

Steven lowered his head, "I don't know why I have this power. I shouldn't have something like this." Pearl was silent. She didn't have the answers either. Finally, he said, "I'll go talk to them."

Pearl nodded, and he left. She brought her hands together, the look of worry never leaving her face as she watched him trudge over to the group.

As he made his way over to his friends, Steven could see that everyone was holding a small celebration for Peridot and Jasper for putting the fire out. When he looked for the green gem in the crowd, he expected to be able to find her just by locating the largest grin among the smiling faces. She would be nodding, and her hands would be on her hips in a victory pose. She would be telling everyone how she ingeniously rigged the robonoid that had come to kill them all into the thing that saved them. But when he finally located her, she wasn't doing any of those things. She was hunched over, already at work, dismantling the large robonoid for parts. If anything, she looked as if she was hiding behind Jasper while she worked giving all the glory to the orange gem instead. Jasper was taking it all in with a sour scowl. The calls of gratitude bouncing off of her tough physical form. After a moment he thought he might have seen a hint of a smug smile at the corner of that scowl.

"Girl, you're pink. You sure you're okay?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah. I feel really good actually." Sadie assured her.

Barbara was talking with mayor Dewey away from the group but not very far. She was looking back at her daughter as if everything she was saying to Dewey was directed at Sadie instead. Sadie and the others followed Steven with their eyes as he approached them. But Sadie rushed forward to meet him first. She threw her arms around him, and he caught her more than hugged her.

"I don't know what you did or how you did it, but you saved me. Thank you, Steven."

Steven held her back but didn't squeeze as she hung off of him. He was looking at the faces of the others behind her. They were milling around uncomfortably. Sadie stepped back and gave them all a look.

"We wanted to say we were sorry." The pink girl began speaking for all of them. Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck began to nod in agreement. "We were all pretty upset about what happened at the concert, but after Connie came by and talked to us, she told us what really happened. We got swept up with the idea of being a real band, and we didn't stop to think about how it would make you feel to be left out. We were really bad friends, and Peridot was just trying to be a good one."

"Connie came by? Told you?" Steven asked.

"Yeah. The other day during our practice." Buck said, "We left you out, and Peridot took us out. I'll admit when Connie told me, I thought it was kinda cool. I wish I had a friend that hardcore."

Sour cream gave him a teasing smile as if Buck was insinuating something about the rest of them.

"Actually...she's my…" Steven looked back toward the crowd to where he had last spotted Peridot, but he couldn't see past all of the people, "My uh…'

Jenny gave him a knowing smirk, "Ya girl huh?"

Steven blushed. He nodded.

"Awww nice," Sour Cream said.

Sadie smiled, "I think you two look great together."

"Yeah, totally. Especially as that hot redhead chick you made together," Buck said.

"Uh thanks," Steven said. It made him smile at all of them, grateful to have them back. He missed them so much. "So, we're all cool? You guys aren't still mad at me?"

Jenny waved a hand, "Nah." She shrugged, "Besides all the fuss Peridot made actually got us more attention."

"Yep. Apparently, everyone thought that a rival band was trying to keep our music down, so we got a lot of supporters pushing us to redo our first gig," Sour Cream said.

Steven rubbed the side of his face, "I am really sorry guys. I should have just told you the truth. I should have told you that it bothered me."

Sadie patted his arm, "Don't worry. You've done enough." Her hand hovered near his arm a moment before dropping to her side, "My mom told me that you went into the Big Donut while it was still on fire to pull me out."

_Just hold on. I got you._

Tourmaline's voice had sounded so strong and so confident. It held the authority of a Diamond but a sweetness and gentleness that told you it would all be okay. Pearl had said that she knew his heart, but he felt he hadn't got it back when he defused with Peridot. It seemed silly. Tourmaline was made out of him and her. That's all. But sometimes, she felt like a separate person.

Steven turned away from Sadie with her eyes still on him asking silently for a confirmation of what she was told. He looked out at the snow covered beach pockmarked with robonoid ruins and patches of melted snow. The fires were out, but the stench of the buildings lingered in the air like burnt corpses left to smolder in the daylight. He brought his eyes back to Sadie and gave her the answer, "Tourmaline did that."

At first, her smile lingered as if he had told a joke, but after a moment, it changed to confusion. She started to ask him what he meant when she noticed he was looking over her shoulder. She turned to see what it was.

Coming up the boardwalk, Amethyst and Connie were walking side by side. When Connie noticed that Sadie wasn't her normal shade, she quickened her pace. Amethyst lagged behind. She was stopping to look at the burned out buildings.

"Sadie? Are you alright?" The two girls embraced, and Sadie nodded.

"I am now. I sort of...like...died? But Steven brought me back."

Brought her back. Steven didn't like that phrasing. It sounded like she had tried to leave, and on a whim, he had told her she couldn't. It reminded him too much of what Jasper had said.

Connie, more than anyone, had seen him pull off amazing feats over the years. Mostly it was by activating powers he never knew he had. But it seemed like even Sadie's claim hit her limit of belief. She gave him a wary look, "You can do that?"

He felt an irritation building. Steven shrugged, "Yeah I guess I can. I didn't know I could."

Connie was looking the girl over, "She's pink. Like Lion. Do you think?"

With so much going on it hadn't crossed his mind, but Connie was right. She was like Lion.

"And that means that my mom brought—" Steven lowered his eyes, "that Lion was dead before."

Before Connie could draw any more comparisons between the two, Sadie's mom was back. Barbara was still in a daze, but Steven could see that there was a little more clarity behind her eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked.

"Yes, Mom. I'm fine. Like I feel really great." Sadie answered. She had answered that question so many times now, but she didn't seem too fed up with it. She must have figured that it was a good question to ask a girl who had died, turned pink, and then got back up. But all things considering, Sadie was taking all of this well. She was happy to still be healthy. Steven wondered if she remembered anything from being trapped inside the Big Donut. He hoped she didn't.

"Good. Good." Barbara said the words, but they didn't hold any meaning. It was like she was chanting them like a mantra to calm herself down. She still looked exhausted, like she was swaying back and forth between relief and a complete breakdown. Steven saw only the woman who had witnessed the life leave her daughter while she was still in her arms. It would take more than his spit to heal that wound; if it could ever be healed. He imagined a thing like that stuck with you. Like a horror. And maybe something like that had stuck with Peridot. Maybe that's why she had looked at him that way. He would never forget the image of the era 1's petrified face. The purple corruption rising against her neck like the waves of a current come to drown her.

Sadie's mom put her hands on the pink girl's shoulders in front of her and looked at everyone else in the group, "I talked with the mayor, and everyone is coming together to help the people who lost things in the fire. We can see what's left and start to rebuild."

Jenny came up to Barbara placing a comforting hand on her arm, "We'll stay and help. You and Sadie should go home and get some rest."

Sadie's mom nodded absentmindedly, "We will."

Steven's friends headed over to the crowd to ask the mayor what they could help with. Connie joined them with Rose's scabbard still strapped across her back. Amethyst was catching up with Pearl, asking her about the part of the battle that she had missed. Steven couldn't hear what they were saying, but Pearl did show her Ruby and Sapphire's gems. All that was left was Sadie and her mom.

Steven tried to look for Peridot again in the crowd on the beach. People had split up now into different groups to help with the cleanup. He didn't see her. He was caught off guard when Barbara approached him.

"Thank you." She whispered as if they shared a secret, "I don't know what I would do without her. I can't thank you enough." He could see there was a desperate cautiousness to her look as if any minute he could snap his fingers and Sadie would drop. She was grateful but didn't want to know how he had done it or if it came with any costs.

Steven put a hand against his other arm, "You're welcome." He didn't think it summed everything up. He still wasn't sure he should be thanked for anything that he had done. Sadie's mom seemed satisfied with that answer. She was the last one to leave with the pink girl in tow under her arm.

* * *

For several hours, with a lunch break in between, Steven pitched in and helped clean up the beach and the boardwalk. They salvaged what they could, and he heard from the owners that their businesses had been insured. Soon enough they would start to rebuild. Peridot had told everyone to gather all the scrap in one place, anything that looked like a robonoid at least. Steven had also seen her speaking to the owners about getting the necessary supplies for the reconstruction. He hadn't actually got to talk to her himself. It was like she was always in the opposite place that he was helping. He wasn't really sure what he would say given the chance to talk to her.

Jasper had stayed true to their truce agreement. She would help them, and they would help her. She did most of the heavy lifting, and to his surprise, she even agreed to help some people salvage things that had made it in the fire from buildings that looked the most unstable. But every thank you was met with a growl or grunt. If it wasn't a task to be completed, it didn't seem to sway her. Steven had gone back to the house to get his pink hoodie. The heat from the fire was gone, and if he wasn't going to fuse Tourmaline anytime soon, his human form would need protection. As he was coming back to the boardwalk, Jasper was just leaving and headed straight for him. He stopped on the beach waiting for her approach. Whatever she would say to him, he wanted it to only be between the two of them.

They stopped in front of each other. If this was an old western, Steven guessed this would be about the time they would both draw on the other.

"I will stay outside your base. We should commence the hunt immediately. 8LG isn't to be underestimated. I know you think you know enough about Peridot's but this one is no wimpy era 2."

Steven gritted his teeth but didn't say anything.

"The longer she's out there, the more damage she will cause for the both of us. More for you than me. We have to strike decisively if we want to capture her."

"And then what?"

"You leave that up to me." Jasper flashed him an unnerving smile. He didn't want to know what was behind it.

"You can stay under the house. Lion hasn't been down there in a few weeks."

Jasper gave a curt nod and brushed past him almost causing him to fall over. He blew out a hot breath into the cold air then started back for the boardwalk. The sound of cannon fire coming from the house made him stop. He spun around and broke into a run back to the temple. When he rounded the beach, he saw Jasper taking cover behind a boulder while Howard was launching plasma at it.

"Oh, crap. I forgot." He ran past a baffled Jasper.

"What are you doing?! Stop this thing before I stop it for you!"

"I am!" He cried scrambling up the stairs and onto to the deck, "Stop, Howard!"

The robonoid continued to fire globs of energy every few seconds. Each punctuated by a loud boom. It was almost enough to make his ears ring.

"Uh...Deactivate? Turn off? No...wait. Cease fire!" Steven said.

Howard's cannon went silent, the end of the barrel still glowing with a tinge of yellow plasma. It rounded its cyclops eye to him and was glad to see him, "Greetings, Steven. Welcome home. Jasper class gem detected on the beach. Hostile actions have been suspended."

"Good job," He said half-heartedly, "Okay, now, how does Peridot do this...ummm." He thought for a moment. Jasper was peeking around the edge of the boulder and Howard glared back at her. Steven tried to remember the process that would tell the robonoid that she was friendly. Or at least currently neutral.

"Errr I want to make it so Jasper is not shot at."

"What is your command, Steven?" Howard asked.

He groaned. He wasn't sure. "I want you to add...I need you to add Jasper to…" What was it? What had Peridot said? "Add Jasper to the whitelist."

"Add currently detected Jasper class gem to the whitelist. Confirm." Howard stated.

"Confirmed. Approval code…" He leaned in and whispered, "Clod."

"Command confirmed."

Steven sighed and waved down to Jasper, "It's safe!"

Jasper left her hiding spot and went under the stairs to find a place to stay. "Era 2 Peridots…any era. If I never see another again..."

Steven chuckled, but then he wished he hadn't when he realized that he would do anything to see his right now. He had to try. He descended the stairs of the temple and went back to the beach. It seemed that everyone had found a stopping point for the day. People were leaving, and Pearl and Amethyst were on their way back. They met him in passing. Behind them, he could see that everyone had managed to form an enormous pile of scrap in the middle of the beach. Peridot was off to the side putting something together.

"We're taking Ruby and Sapphire home to rest," Pearl said holding up the two gems.

He nodded. He wished he could have saved them the poofing. But everyone else had needed his help, they would understand.

"You alright little man?" Amethyst asked him.

The nickname made him smile a little at least, "Yeah I'm alright. I need to talk to Peridot."

"She must be having a blast with all that loot. Hasn't left it all day. That other Peridot, the Evildot, all her toys are now Peri's."

Pearl gave Steven's shoulder a pat, "I'm proud of you, Steven. Okay?"

"Okay." He muttered. Then he looked up at her and with a little more energy added, "Thanks."

The two gems left for the temple, and most of the people on the beach were gone. It was beginning to be the late afternoon. Peridot was sitting in the snow working on a frame for a robonoid. She was rebuilding it.

"Peridot?" He said from behind her.

She jumped a little, and he frowned.

"Oh, hey, Steven." Her back was still to him.

He walked around so she wouldn't have to turn to see him. He knelt down next to the project she was working on.

"How's everything going?"

"Fine." She said. Her hands had stopped working on the robonoid, but her eyes were still glued to it.

"You know, maybe we could bring some of this stuff back to our room? Use the new shop to put all of this together."

"It might take me some time. I don't want to disturb your regeneration cycle with all the noise."

"You're going to spend all night out here? You plan on using all of this right now?" He asked her.

Peridot finally looked up at him, and she looked sad. At least it was better than fear, "I want to help everyone. I have to do this." Her green eyes sank back to the scrap in front of her, "And maybe it's best if you're not around me for a while."

He swallowed a dry spot in his throat. His gem felt so heavy that it felt like it would drop and sink into the sand carrying him with it. Best for who? Maybe for everyone. He could see where she was going with this. If they were apart, he couldn't fuse Tourmaline, and that way he wouldn't use her to hurt anyone else.

"Yeah…" He said it bitterly, "It's probably for the best."

He turned around and trudged back to the temple through the snow. Once he was gone, Peridot leaned over the robonoid and shook with a subdued sob.

* * *

That night as Steven lay in bed alone in their new room, there was nothing to watch on tv. He flipped through every channel twice, but nothing was worth seeing. He clicked it off and tossed the remote to the floor, but it poofed away. Grabbing a handful of the covers, he brought it with him turning over on his side. Maybe he could try to get some sleep. The balcony door was open, and beyond he could hear the waves touching the beach. Tonight it was about as relaxing as trying to fall asleep to a leaky faucet. The silence of the workshop and lab across from him was worse. A silence so loud it was deafening. He could barely manage to hear the ocean waves over it.

Peridot was out there right now. Outside in the cold. Out in the middle of the night with no company and even worse lighting. She was sitting in the snow instead of laying in warm sheets next to him. Her hands were busy fixing robonoids instead of on him. All of this she preferred over him and their room. That told him everything he needed to know. He turned over and stared at the temple door. He wished she would walk through it. That smirk on her face. Her visor vanishing. Her hair flowing down past her shoulders. The rest of everything she was wearing falling too. But he stopped himself there. None of that was going to happen. For a moment he even entertained the idea of getting up out of bed, putting on his boots, and going out to her in his crying breakfast friends pajamas and telling her how sorry he was.

Steven pushed his face into his pillow and groaned. He wasn't even sure he could forgive himself. How would anyone else? He turned over on his back and kicked the covers off. Laying there stiffly, he went over all that again in his head. Two, three, then four times, until he couldn't take it anymore. Garnet had told him, made him promise, that if he and Peridot were having issues, that he would go to her and talk to her about it. But she was poofed. Steven looked out one of the windows at the crescent moon. He knew that the real moon didn't face this way but that the two of them had designed it so that it did in their world. It was pretty the way its light skipped across the ocean's surface like a stone.

He got up and sat on the edge of the bed. He couldn't talk to Garnet, but he could still talk to Pearl. He padded across the room barefoot and left through the temple door. When he stepped into the house, he shivered. For the first time, the fireplace wasn't burning wood. He looked at the absent spot on the couch and the abandoned scrap bag by the couch. Steven sighed and turned around to activate the door for Pearl's room. It didn't take long for her to let him in. The door opened, and he stepped inside.

From atop the center fountain, Pearl was gazing down at him, "What's wrong, Steven?"

"Can I come up?"

"Of course." She gave him a nervous smile and held her hand out as if he could take it.

He stepped forward into the waters, and a gentle geyser lifted him up to her platform. He tried not to laugh as the water tickled his feet so instead, it came out in snorts. Pearl's hand was still outstretched, and Steven took it once he was at the top. She helped him up. Behind her, floating in the air, were the two gems that composed Garnet.

"Can't sleep?" She asked trying to probe without probing, but this time he didn't mind.

"No." He deflated, "Pearl, what I did today was wrong. Peridot didn't come home with us. She's out there right now trying to help everyone. But she doesn't want to see me. I think she's scared of me."

Pearl was listening and polishing Ruby's gem with a silk cloth, "Scared? Oh, that's silly. You would never hurt her or anyone else."

"But I did!" He snapped, "I almost corrupted that other Peridot and she thinks that I could do that to her! Or maybe that I could to do that to other gems!"

Pearl stopped and lowered the cloth in her hands.

Tears started to stream down Steven's cheeks, "What's worse is that I think she could be right. I don't trust myself. What if I get angry like that again? I could make Tourmaline do that again and really hurt gems. I could do worse than shatter them."

Pearl dropped the silk cloth and came over to him. He leaned into her when she wrapped her arms around him.

"I don't know why Tourmaline used that power today, but a fusion is made up of two people. It wasn't just you," She said.

He was shaking his head, "No, it was my color that did it. My light that corrupted. My tears that brought Sadie back. And...and there is something else." He looked up at her.

"What? You can tell me." Pearl wiped his face with the back of her hand.

"I don't know if it's a new power or what, but after Peridot and I defused at Connie's house, I could hear her thoughts at times. It was like I was still fused with her, but I wasn't. It's only been with her so I don't think that I can read minds."

Pearl pulled away suddenly as if this was bad news, but she kept her hand on his arm.

"What?" He asked, "Do you know what it is? Is it bad?"

Pearl's hand flinched by her side, and she said, "When every gem is created, they have a strong bond with the Diamond they were made for."

"Peridot told me that before."

"But any of the Diamonds can tap into this bond inherent in any gem. It's a level of communication and emotion that comes with fusion, but Diamond's can produce it as an aura instead. Blue Diamond is a master of this ability. She can establish a link with anyone around her and transfer her emotions and thoughts through the power as if they were fused, but it's also possible for the thoughts and emotions to go the other way."

"Why are you telling me this? You think I can do that too?" Steven asked.

"Well…" Her hand trembled, and she crossed her arms, "Your powers so far have been emotion or empathy based. A Rose Quartz having this type of power wouldn't be out of the question."

"So you're saying I'm manipulating that bond that's in every gem back to the Diamonds?"

"I don't know for sure. You could be. This is all new to me. But I've heard that prolonged exposure to the ability has other effects." Pearl's hand rose to her neck, and she scratched herself where it stopped.

"...What sort of effects?"

"Pearls who serve their Diamonds spend so much time around the influence of this aura that they can hold entire conversations without saying a word or being fused. And if a gem so chooses...they can surrender to the connection."

"Surrender?" He didn't like the sound of that.

Pearl nodded gravely, and she leaned forward, "The Diamond can bind another gem. Their loyalty so absolute that their physical form obeys the command of the Diamond no matter what."

"But they have to choose to have that done to them?"

Pearl nodded again.

"Pearl…" He said, "Why do I have these kinds of powers?"

Her hand traveled from her neck up to her mouth. She held it clasped tightly as if she had just seen some horrible car accident. She closed her eyes, and when she pulled her hand away, she whispered, "I don't know."

He hung his head and sighed, "Thanks anyway."

Pearl squeezed his shoulder, "It will get better, Steven. Peridot just needs time, but she'll come around."

He looked up and nodded, then he noticed Ruby and Sapphire again, "Hey, I was having trouble sleeping. Do you think they can sleep in my room tonight? It's lonely in there."

Pearl smiled and went over to retrieve the two gems, "Of course. I know they would like to look over you."

He took the gems from her and cradled them, "Thanks, and thanks for the talk."

"I'm always here for you." She smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek, "Have a goodnight, Steven."

"Goodnight."

Steven rode the geyser down to the ground and left. He returned to his room with Ruby and Sapphire. He stood in the dark in the middle of the room and looked around. He hadn't thought about where he would put them. He raised his head up toward the ceiling.

"Summon item: Pedestal with anti-gravity field. Activation word, clod."

He smiled as the room conjured a white pedestal into the middle of the room. Peridot had designed the room so that it could still create whatever you wanted. To be sure that it only did it when you intended, she made it where you had to say a specific command and give it a password.

He put Ruby and Sapphire on the pedestal, and they floated a few inches above it in the air.

"At least I'm not alone. I miss you guys already."

He sat down on the floor in front of them in his pajamas.

"You said I had some decisions to make. That it would shape my destiny. I don't know what kind of destiny that's supposed to be. I made a deal with Jasper, but I don't know what she's going to do with 8LG. I can't let her shatter her. Then I almost corrupted a gem. Now Peridot's mad at me or scared or both."

He put a hand to the pillar. It was cold to the touch.

"I just wish you both were here. You would know what to do or what to say. I know you always wanted to see me grow up, take leadership of the Crystal Gems like my mom. But I'm not ready. You still do so much better than me."

He sunk down to the wood floor and curled up into himself holding his knees.

"I told you I always wanted to grow up to be what you wanted me to be. But I failed you. If you saw what I did today, you would have been so disappointed."

Steven closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," He mumbled and drifted off to sleep.

He awoke to the thud of the temple door opening to his room. The sun was shining in through the windows, and he could hear waves hitting the beach. Still groggy, he raised his head up toward the door.

"Peridot?"

Amethyst was looking at the pedestal with Ruby and Sapphire and then back down to him, "Sorry, Ste-man." She really did look sorry for waking him up this time.

He sat up and wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands, "Everything okay?"

Amethyst smiled, "Yeah, little man. It's all good. A sensor went off, and Pearl thinks it might be Evildot. We were headed to check it out." She crossed her arms, "Jasper tried to leave without you, but I told her we can afford to wait for you to get ready."

Steven was already standing up, "Yeah, let's go."

"Uh...might want to change first, dude," She said with a snicker.

"Right. Yeah."


	14. The Final Diamond

The morning sun poured through the tall windows of Steven's room in streaks of amber light. Each window was draped with white curtains that almost gave the place a look of royalty. Now that he looked at them, he couldn't exactly remember who had designed them, him or Peridot? He finished getting ready by tossing on his star t-shirt and checking himself out in the mirror. The person that stared back at him held a hollowness. He half expected the other him to shoot him a dark, disturbing smile, or give him a wink, anything that would make him retreat from himself as Peridot had. But the reflection remained true. He did feel empty, but it was like he had reached the end of one good cry, one that seemed to have lasted him all night.

Steven mustered up a smile for the other him, sharpened his eyes, straightened up, and gave it his best determined face. Today was going to be different. He would prove to Peridot, and to himself, that he wasn't the person that would ever corrupt another gem. Steven headed for the door, a hand to his neck, massaging a crick, but he stopped short at the pedestal. He turned to Ruby and Sapphire, their gems were glinting in the sunshine. He pressed his fingers faintly against their gems, "I'll make you proud. I promise."

He stood there a moment in front of them, taking his room in, maybe for the first time since he had seen it as Tourmaline. This place was like his sanctuary now. When he looked past the floating gems, to the empty workshop, it felt apart of him even though he didn't know how to use any of the tools that would eventually fill the shelves. There was a potential here, a sacredness, like the feeling he got when he entered Garnet's room and couldn't help but go quiet. But if it was ever going to be as it should, he had to stop stalling and face the gems that were waiting on him. Face them and tell them something they weren't going to like.

Steven approached the door, took in a deep breath, let it out, and touched the door opening it with his gem. Pearl, Amethyst, and Jasper were already standing on the warp pad, and they all turned to him as he hung in the doorway. The scene looked surreal like a weird Christmas cartoon. The fireplace was burning wood again, so the room was warm and bright. Hanging from Pearl's hand was his cheeseburger backpack. But it looked ridiculous next to Jasper, who despite wearing the most unamused expression he had ever seen, had a cheery Christmas tree just over her shoulder in the background. Amethyst must have known how they looked because she was wearing a playful smile.

He went first before Jasper could have a chance to stop him, "I need a second to talk with Pearl and Amethyst. It's important."

Jasper took a step forward, "Another Delay?!" Hand flat like a blade, she swiped it in the air in front of her, "I held up my end of our little deal. If you don't hold up yours…"

"I will." He said. She narrowed her eyes at him. He knew the next words out of his mouth would determine if his plan would even get off the ground or if it would devolve into violence. "I'm sending Pearl and Amethyst on a separate mission," He said, "We will cover more ground if we split up. You said it yourself; the faster we catch her, the better."

Jasper scrutinized him for a moment, but when she couldn't find any fault within the idea, she growled. Amethyst looked confused as if she had been left out of the loop. But at the mere suggestion that he and Jasper go alone, Pearl shook as if she was a rocket about to take off and go through the roof.

"Fine," Jasper answered, "But you have five earth minutes. If you're not ready by then, I'll find her myself."

Steven backed up into his room and waved the two gems in quickly for a private conversation.

As soon as the door closed again, Pearl started to wail, "What are you thinking?! You and Jasper alone?! Without us?!" She took in a breath for the next assault, but something made her hold it for a moment, her mouth open. Then, she added softer but still with spirit, "Without Tourmaline?"

He had readied himself for all but the last argument. He felt that blow, but he knew she hadn't said it to hurt him. He wasn't sure exactly why she had said it. It was the last suggestion he ever expected her to make.

"Whoa, chill P. Let's hear him out," Amethyst said.

"Hear him—" Pearl glared at her. Her face was beginning to turn a little red at holding back the next words that sounded to her like lunacy. Pearl took a breath and then let it out before speaking again, "He wants to go alone to an abandoned spire in the middle of a desert with Jasper."

Amethyst cocked her head at Steven, "So yeah, why do you want to do that again?"

"Guys, Jasper is going to shatter 8LG when we catch up to her. Maybe if I have a chance to talk to her, I can convince her to see what Peridot saw in Earth. I could convince her to just bubble 8LG. Show her that she can find her place here, with us."

Pearl put a hand to her forehead, "Oh, Steven. I know you want to help Jasper, but you can't place yourself at risk like this to do it. Even if Jasper sticks to the truce, what if the other Peridot is there? You and Jasper will fight her by yourselves?"

"I don't want to fight her." He answered, "If the other Peridot is really there, I'll try to give her a chance to escape or try to get us out of there. Jasper destroyed her cannon thingy that had all her weapons on it. I have my shield and bubble. We can't face her for real until I know Jasper won't shatter her."

Amethyst scratched the side of her head and leaned on one hip, "And you're sure you have to do this alone?"

He nodded, "Yes. I've already defeated Jasper using Tourmaline. She doesn't have to prove herself stronger than me. It's the only way I can talk to the real Jasper."

"What? A bully?" Amethyst said flipping her hair to the side.

Pearl scoffed in agreement.

He frowned disapprovingly at them, and they both looked away, "No. She's a warrior, and she fought to protect something like the two of you did." They looked back at him, their expressions softer, "And she can learn to love Earth and protect it too."

Without another word, he turned around and opened the temple door, and marched through it. The two gems behind him followed wordlessly.

Jasper turned to him as he ascended the warp pad. "Are you ready  _now_? Or do you want to give her a ten-minute head start instead?" She snarked.

"All set," He replied and turned to face Pearl and Amethyst who were both looking doubtful. They didn't try to stop him. Instead, Pearl stepped forward holding out his backpack in both hands. Steven let her slip it on him and straighten it.

She put a hand to his face, "Now, I packed you a lot of water because it's going to be very hot and it's important to stay hydrated. I also packed you a granola bar for breakfast."

"Is it the blueberry blast one?"

Pearl gave Jasper a sidelong glance as she answered him, "Of course. That's your favorite."

Jasper rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Come on."

Pearl brought her full attention to the orange gem now, "If you do anything to hurt Steven…"

Jasper hung an arm around him as if they were old war buddies. She drew him in close, her grip almost knocking the breath out of him, and bared her teeth in a sinister grin, "He'll be perfectly safe with  _me_."

Pearl's open-mouthed horror at the gesture was the last thing he saw before Jasper activated the warp. Once they were in the warp stream, Jasper let him go and chuckled, "I've never seen a Pearl with such fire."

Steven turned to her and smiled.

Jasper scowled back, "But I guess that happens when you follow a leader who thinks they know better than a Diamond. She would have made a good quartz, but she's a shoddy Pearl."

"She's whatever she wants to be," He answered, "Without the Diamonds, she can make that choice."

Jasper sneered at his sentimental words, but it seemed as if she had decided not to waste any more energy trying to refute them. They floated awkwardly next to each other as the stream carried them onward. He hadn't been to the desert in a long time, not since he had met Lion. Pearl had mentioned that it was a spire that they were going to, places where the gem elites once gathered. The other spires that he had visited before held technology that the gems had once come up with. He wondered what this spire would hold and if 8LG was there because she was trying to get her hands on it.

The stream ended. And it had ended by throwing the two of them right into the middle of a sandstorm. The air howled and hissed. Nothing but the warp platform was visible, even that Steven could only see the crystal-like structure under his feet. Everything was shrouded in a dark, dense haze of orange. He could barely make out Jasper who was standing right in front of him. She was looking helplessly in all directions as if the sand was actually a swarm of tiny enemies that were hurling themselves against her physical form, and would eventually wear her down. He ducked his head down and reached out for her. The sand stung his face and the bare skin on his hand as he grabbed hers. She spun around, expecting a larger attacker, but was surprised when she saw Steven tugging her closer.

"What is this?!" She shouted over the hiss of the storm. The dull and hollow whistle of the air answered her back.

"A sandstorm! We have to get out of it!" Steven let go of her hand and raised both of his own out to his sides. He summoned his bubble around both of them sheltering them from the storm. Immediately the trapped grains of sand pelted against the inside walls of the bubble. Without the wind to toss them around, they slid down to the bottom and formed a small pile. Jasper peered out of the bubble, she went up to it and put her hand to its wall. Steven watched her, thinking about Peridot and the rain.

"It's an earth thing." He said, "It happens when the wind blows strong. It picks up all the sand on the ground and throws it around. It will end eventually."

Jasper put her other hand on the bubble, "We don't have time to wait. We have to push forward. If it is trapping us, then maybe it has trapped 8LG at the spire. I don't need to see. I know exactly where I'm going."

Steven came up next to her and put his hands on the inner wall. Together they began to push, rolling their shelter through the storm. As they worked, both of them watched the world outside shaking itself into a frenzy. The hissing continued but was muffled except for the popping and crackling of sand hitting the outer shell.

After a while, Steven figured that they had made it a reasonable distance away from the warp pad. He wasn't sure where they were, but Jasper continued to push the dome with a tireless drive. They could be anywhere. He knew sandstorms could happen, but actually being in one made this place, one that he had visited before, seem so exotic. On the other side of the bubble was a world that he had never seen before. It was so strange that it could have been another planet. For a moment, he could understand how Jasper had felt back there, or Peridot had when the rain had come. It was the feeling of being surrounded in a haze of things that seemed slightly familiar but turned out to be completely foreign when you came close enough to put them into focus. It was a torrent of confusion as wild and random as the sand being tossed outside. Nothing but something you recognized would bring you back to feeling some semblance of normalcy. And, he supposed, it didn't hurt to have someone to take you by the hand and show you that this new world wasn't so strange, that you could be a part of it.

"You're not Rose," Jasper was looking at him now, "Are you?"

"No," He looked down and answered her, "I'm her son. I'm Steven."

"You better not be lying to me."

Steven turned to look at her as he rolled the bubble, "I'm not. Humans reproduce differently than gems do. We make more of us from the existing beings. I'm the product of another human and Rose. She didn't survive the process. She had to give up her physical form, and that's why I have her gem."

Jasper's lips curled into disgust at the idea of whatever ritual would be required to perform what he was talking about, "Do you have her memories? Were you created with her knowledge?"

"No," He said, "I don't have her mind or memories. I only carry her gem. That's what gives me her powers."

"I don't...understand why any gem would do such a thing."

He gave her a small smile, "Maybe you can stick around long enough to understand."

Jasper faced forward again and pushed faster so that it made him have to keep up, "As soon as I have that Peridot's ship, I'm returning to Homeworld."

Steven didn't say anything. A few minutes later they rolled the bubble into something solid, a stone door, tanned by nature or by the sand, he couldn't tell which. All he managed to make out through the haze was a pink diamond and the hint of a yellow one beside it.

"I see the door mechanism. When you dismiss this bubble, I will activate it. Move inside prepared for a fight. It could be an ambush," Jasper said.

Steven summoned his shield and nodded to her that he understood. The bubble dropped, and Jasper lunged forward toward a large stone button and hit it. The sand began its assault on both of them as soon as their protection was gone. Steven held his shield up to protect his face as best he could, but the sand was bouncing from every direction. He moved forward toward the door meeting Jasper as it slowly ground upwards into a pitch black, dark hall. As soon as there was enough space, Jasper crouched low and rolled under the door before it could finish its open cycle. Steven followed her. Once she saw that he was in, she pressed the button on the other side, and the door started to slide back down.

Steven took his backpack off and fumbled around inside it for a moment before his hand caught hold of his flashlight. It was a big bulky thing. When lit up, it was bright enough to be a spotlight. He had gone through many flimsy flashlights by exploring old gem ruins with the others before he had decided to invest in something better. The door closed with a resounding boom as if they had been sealed into a tomb. It left them in complete darkness.

Steven clicked the flashlight on and turned around. He gasped and almost dropped the light when he saw how large this hallway actually was. It led to the center of the structure, and it was lined along the way with massive statues on either side. The figures were of the four diamonds. On the left: White Diamond and Yellow Diamond. On the right: Blue Diamond and Pink Diamond. They looked sculpted out of marble but, despite the conditions and the length of time they had been abandoned, were surprisingly, almost in perfect condition.

Jasper chuckled at his reaction, "Awed by the power of the Diamonds? Most can't help but be." She turned to admire the architecture and the design with him, "The products of a golden age of gemkind. A time in which we were strong and working together for our intended purpose."

"I have to admit it's beautiful," Steven said moving through the hall. He poofed his shield. He couldn't see any reason he would need it. Naturally, he was drawn to the statue of Pink Diamond. The diamond of Earth. The only one to ever be shattered.

"You have Rose to thank for bringing it to an end," Jasper said as she walked beside him. This time her words lacked their venom.

Steven stopped in front of the stony figure of Pink. She was leaning forward, her legs together and holding the planet earth in her hands. There was a smile on her face, and she was leaning over it as if she loved it so much that she might give the small orb a kiss.

"I know that homeworld lacks resources that it didn't get from Earth, but Rose was just trying to protect Earth. Protect the beings that live here," He said looking up and into the Diamond's eyes.

Jasper placed her hand against Pink's foot, "We didn't just lose Earth's resources. We had to throw even more at Rose's rebellion." She turned to him, a wild glimmer in her eye as if suddenly she wanted desperately for him to understand, "We were a thriving empire, on the verge of what we were destined to become. This place once represented the best of us. This spire is Earth's spire of knowledge. Where now we only keep logs of data for technicians; this place held archives of information from our greatest intellectuals. Where we have warships and bases designed for function; this place was created to celebrate our achievements and drive us toward future victories. Because of Rose," Jasper stabbed a finger toward the statue, "Pink Diamond was shattered, and everything we were meant to become with it. We are a shell of our former selves, of our former power."

Steven was quiet for a moment. This was his chance. He had to understand Jasper before he could convince her to accept his help.

"I didn't think you cared about that sort of stuff, that you only cared about fighting. I want to understand," He said. He could see that in the frenzy of explaining her conviction, she seemed to believe that he might be telling the truth, that he wanted to understand. And that perhaps she was beginning to realize that he wasn't Rose after all.

"A soldier who doesn't know what they are fighting for is defective," Jasper answered, "I was made to fight. I fought to uphold the Diamond's vision, and I was created knowing what that was. It's what this place use to be."

"But you mentioned a purpose. Like all of this was going somewhere and when Pink was shattered, it stopped," He said.

"It was. It did," Jasper replied, "If you don't know what I'm talking about, then it means that Rose's lackeys hid the truth from you. Your precious Peridot wouldn't have known either. Era 2 gems aren't created with the same knowledge of the gems of the past."

"What truth?"

"I'll show you." Jasper's hurried footfalls echoed in the empty hall.

Steven was right behind her with his flashlight, but she didn't seem to need it. The history of the spire had swept Jasper up into a mood, one he had never seen her in before. It occurred to him then that she had been here before.

Jasper stopped just before they reached the main chamber, which from here, looked like a large circle that the other halls or rooms branched from. She went over to a part of the wall. Steven aimed the spotlight on it revealing a mural, not unlike the one he had seen before on the moon base. Jasper stood off to the side to allow him to take it in. The image was of all four diamonds taking up their places in each cardinal direction. Their hands were stretched out toward the center, and together they all held one diamond in their combined hands that were layered on the other. Steven angled the beam of light downward. There was something scrawled in bold black letters in gem language.

"What does that say?" Steven asked.

Without taking her eyes off of him, she recited it,

" _When the last of us fuses with the first of us_

_The Final Diamond will herald the last era."_

"What does that mean?"

"White Diamond was the first of us, then came yellow, then blue. The three of the Diamond Authority began to grow other gems but wished to know the future of the people they were beginning to lead. White Diamond consulted her own sapphire, the most powerful one to ever exist, White Sapphire. She could see farther into the future than any of her kind ever made before her or since. But to see as far as the Diamond Authority wished to see, the diamonds infused her with their power in a special ritual. Those words are the ones that she spoke after her vision."

"Wow," Steven said, "That's crazy."

Jasper scowled, "No. It's our history."

"I didn't mean it that way. I meant...nevermind. Go on."

"Shortly after the vision, Pink Diamond's gem was found on the surface of Homeworld."

"The last of us," He said.

"Yes. Even you, not even a full gem, can see it too. The promise of that vision would require resources and a lot of gems. In time, Pink would be ready with her own planets, and the others of the authority set out to expand their domains, to spread the vision. The Diamonds would form a fusion. They would create the final diamond. A leader who would hold the strength, knowledge, and power of each diamond that composed it. Under her direction, the last era would come. We would reach the pinnacle of what we were all made for. Only the diamonds know what that is supposed to be. Pink Diamond's first colony meant that we were very close to seeing that vision come true."

Steven pointed the flashlight back to the statue of Pink Diamond. He knew now that he had been right. They had sealed themselves into a tomb. "But Pink is gone, and that means they can't fuse." Steven swung the light back to her. It cast a tall shadow on the stone mural behind her.

"And now you understand what Rose took from us. How she robbed all gems of their future," Jasper said, "So she could give it to a group of creatures whose lifespan is just one Earth rotation to us in comparison."

"That's not fair, Jasper. You can't wipe out another group of people just because they get in the way of your grand vision," Steven said.

Jasper came closer to him, taking slow and steady steps. There were shadows under her eyes, and the mural of the diamonds and their shattered legacy loomed behind her.

"You wanted to understand," Jasper growled, "Humans have no purpose. Their lives meaningless." She crossed the distance between them towering over him, "They live and they die in the time it would take me to blink my eye. And for them, Rose gave everything that we had." Jasper leaned down, and her face was inches from his.

Steven stared back at her, ready to summon his shield at any moment, "Human life might be short," He said, "But it does have meaning. Don't go back to Homeworld, Jasper. Stay on Earth, and you'll understand why Rose did what she did."

Jasper turned from him. She returned to the mural and touched it, her hand clearing a layer of dust that had settled there. When she pulled her hand away, she closed it slowly into a fist trying to grasp at an age she had defended but never knew.

"Jasper, you said this spire was built for the best of your people. But what about the gems that aren't the best? What happens to them? This place is supposed to celebrate the achievements of the strongest, but it doesn't celebrate anyone else. It leaves anyone that isn't the best behind in the dust, like this spire, forgotten."

Jasper whirled to face him, "No one but the best deserves to be here! No one but the best deserves to be celebrated! The others deserved to be forgotten!"

Steven took a step toward her, "Does that mean  _you_  deserve to be forgotten? Is that why you asked me to shatter you?"

For a moment she just stared at him, her whole body trembling. She looked as if she couldn't see him, the rage and the pain blinding her, like seeing red so much that she had managed to go beyond that and see nothing at all.

Then all of it left her at once, and she was standing in front of him motionless, defeated. She lowered her head. The sides of her white hair drew in around her face casting a shadow over her eyes. Jasper was in a limbo of existence. She was burning with the heart of a warrior. The desire to represent everything that she had just expounded to him, but she had fought the battle, and it was over. She had neither won nor lost, unable to celebrate the victory or give up the fight.

Finally, Jasper turned her back to him, but Steven could tell her eyes still lingered on the mural, "We're wasting time," She said, "8LG has to be here. She wouldn't be dumb enough to try to leave, even from the top of the spire in this storm. We have to move before it clears up. Let's go."

They entered the central chamber. Jasper marched ahead, and Steven reluctantly trailed behind. He stopped and swept the cone of light across the room. It was as if he had pulled a black veil off of a painting. Jasper was stepping on it, investigating the other halls and peeking into the rooms. On the floor of the central chamber was an image of White Sapphire. She was holding out both her hands and glowing with a ghostly white aura. Her dress in shades of white and grey looked as if it were blowing forward from the power of the diamonds that all stood behind her in silhouette. Their hands stretched out to her. Long locks of white hair were forever suspended in the air, the artist capturing Sapphire in mid vision. Her mouth was one firm line. Whatever the future held, in all of its mystery, White Sapphire stood stoically as its conduit. And what she saw, Steven knew that no one could have guessed. Where her eye should be, was a white sapphire gemstone.

"Jasper?"

"Found something?"

"...Maybe?"

Jasper appeared from one of the side rooms, her nose faintly glowing, "What is it?"

"White Sapphire, in this image, her gemstone is…"

Jasper crossed her arms, "What of it?"

"Could she see?"

She answered with a finality that made it clear she considered the matter closed, "Better than anyone else in this galaxy or the next."

She looked down at the floor, and something else about it drew her attention. She walked over to a spot on the floor near him and crouched down. Steven shined his light beyond into the connected rooms. In one of them, he could see clearly a bronze colored model of the solar system. Rings of metal held the orbs into their accurate orbital patterns around the sun. The model took up most of the chamber it was in. Jasper had said that spires were used to archive knowledge and achievements. With what he could see, the models, the statues, and the murals, he could guess that this spire was to celebrate Pink's first colony and what that meant for the future of the empire.

Jasper growled in the darkness, "Hold that light over here. It does me no good over there."

"Sorry."

Steven pointed the flashlight to the floor again. Jasper ran her finger across the ground and drew up a bit of dust then followed something he couldn't see toward the stairs.

"The dust has been disturbed in this area. She's definitely here. Higher up. Let's move."

Steven followed her. He wasn't sure what he would do when they caught up to the Peridot. He had planned to come up with something as he went along but the sandstorm had been unexpected. 8LG couldn't escape if there were nowhere for her to run. Jasper was in front of him marching with a steady pace. The stairs curved to the right, rising steeply, and closed off on both sides with stone the color of the sand. By the time they reached what he could only guess was the halfway point of the spire's tower, he was huffing a little.

The steps ended into another round chamber with stairs on the opposite side. But what filled the room was something he hadn't expected to see. Rows and rows of shelves were holding rectangular pieces of metal. They were books, or at least the gem equivalent. Steven guided the light behind Jasper. She went over to one of the shelves and ran her fingers down the metal bindings scratched with gem language titles. Jasper plucked one from the shelf. It looked like a tablet, but bulky like the older ones humans had come up with. She touched a button on the top of its casing, and a blue light lit up Jasper's face in the darkness. There were words on the screen.

Jasper gasped, "It still works. Hold on a moment. Follow me with that illumination machine."

Steven went with her. She went down the shelves and took out parts of the archives. The one book turned into two, and then three, "The battle on RH8, I can't believe this is here," and then four. "Quartz and Tactics by Yellow Diamond's emerald. This record's knowledge was placed in the injection contents of all quartz since the claim on system K6VB." Then five.

"Hey, Jasper. I was wondering something," He said holding the flashlight down so Jasper could search one of the lower shelves, "Whatever happened to White Sapphire? What is she doing now?"

Jasper stopped, her hand resting on a group of books, then she looked up at him, "She was shattered."

"What? By who?"

Jasper stood up and held the stack of books against her hip, "Shortly after Pink Diamond was found, White Diamond requested another vision. White Sapphire was brought before her and infused with power, but it was too much for her gem to contain."

"So...White shattered her?"

Jasper's jaw clenched, "Not on purpose."

"Why did White Diamond want another vision?"

"I don't know. Stop asking me questions."

"Well, I can carry those If you want," Steven pointed to the books in her hand, "I can put them in my backpack."

She brought her eyes down to them, then looked at him suspiciously. His smile made her relent with a groan. When he had finished storing the books and zipping up the backpack, he heard a noise. He left the pack on the floor and picked up the flashlight. Jasper was already looking through another book; she hadn't seemed to hear anything.

"You want to add that one too?"

"No...no. I was just looking."

Then there was a creak. This time Jasper heard it. She lowered the book in her hands and peered around carefully. Steven brought the flashlight around to point at the direction they had come from. The stairwell was empty. The sound of metal crashing into Jasper behind him made Steven drop the flashlight to the floor. He spun around in time to see a spider robonoid latched to Jasper's chest. Its eyes were two small beams of red light in the dark. She was grunting and holding off two of its limbs in each hand that ended in points aimed for her neck.

Steven summoned his shield, but before he could help her, the whole room started to explode in yellow light. Plasma blasts were flying at them from a few aisles over. More robonoids had scuttled down from the walls and had taken a position there. He got in front of Jasper and raised his shield. It deflected the shots that broke through the gaps in the shelves.

Jasper, still struggling behind Steven, slowly bent the limbs of the robonoid back toward itself and used them to stab through the machine's core. She threw it to the ground and took cover huddling behind him and the shield.

"They're over there!" He shouted over the blasts.

The plasma bolts were eating through the rows of metal books. Steven could see about four robonoids that were two rows over, all of them firing together in a line. Every few seconds a new barrage of bolts would fly out and light up the room. Jasper looked up at the shelves and then to the robonoids. Then, she made a break from cover between shots. She charged halfway down the row and at the midpoint threw her shoulder into the shelf. It rattled throwing some of the records to the floor, but it didn't tip. Steven ran after her, but he wasn't as fast.

Jasper roared in pain when a yellow ribbon streamed through the darkness and hit her in the side. Steven rushed up beside her holding his shield out to protect her.

"We can do it together. Come on."

Steven expanded his shield so that it was big enough to protect both of them and stood back to get momentum, "On three."

Jasper held her side with a grimace but backed up to match his position.

"One!"

They looked at each and then at the shield splashing with plasma blasts.

"Two!"

Steven leaned forward, and Jasper angled low as if to pounce.

"Three!"

The two of them charged at the same time throwing both their weights against the shield slamming it into the shelf. It swayed back and forth off balance, and with a final heave, they tipped it over. It collided with the next one and the next one collapsing onto the robonoids and destroying the rest of the aisles. A plume of dust spread out from the impact and drifted through the chamber. The hum of the robonoids' cores began to go silent. Steven brought his shield back to its normal size. Jasper was kneeling and holding her side, and he could see a patch of black underneath her fingers.

"I can help heal—" Steven stopped when he saw a battered robonoid, with a broken cannon on its back, turn the corner of their row. It skittered madly towards them with sharp limbs gleaming in the beam of his discarded flashlight. Steven brought his shield back and then hurled it spinning it over Jasper's back. The machine leaped into the air to bring its limbs down on her. The shield sliced the robonoid in half, and both halves flew past them and skidded across the floor still carrying the momentum of the jump.

Then, all was quiet.

Steven looked down at her, "You okay?"

Jasper nodded and stood up, "Fine. That Peridot will suffer soon enough. We have her cornered. She is getting desperate, using these cheap tricks to defeat us."

"Let me look at that," Steven said. He reached to Jasper's side, which she was still holding, but she pulled away.

"I said I am fine. Pick up that light and let's go."

He didn't move, "No."

"What?" She gritted her teeth.

"Take your hand off that."

Jasper removed her hand from the patch of black and curled it into a fist by her side. Steven licked his hand and slapped it against her side. She grunted, and the muscles in her jaw tightened then relaxed as the healing took effect. Her hand moved back to the spot. The plasma burn was gone. She glanced down at it.

Steven slipped back into the straps of his backpack, picked up the flashlight, and pointed it toward the stairwell that led to the top of the spire, "We can go now."

Cautiously, they ascended the spire. Steven took the lead this time. 8LG must know by now that they were coming. If he was going to be able to do anything he would need to be between her and Jasper. It also put him in the most dangerous position, seeing that 8LG was prone to ambushes and clever tactics rather than fighting head on. Whatever she had to throw, it would hit him first.

Jasper constantly threw glances over her shoulder, and if the stairs hadn't been so steep and winding, he figured that she would have followed him walking backward. As they neared the top Steven summoned his shield in his hand and held it out in front of him, and with the other, he pointed the flashlight. A low hum was the first sound that he could make out when he stepped into the last chamber. It was followed by the hiss and hollow wails of the sandstorm outside.

The two of them entered, and Steven illuminated the room. It was roughly the size of the others, but it was the only one with two large observation windows that held thick glass. Outside the windows, it was clear that the storm had not stopped. It didn't seem to have slowed down any.

The room itself was empty except for a bronze rod rising from the floor in the middle of the chamber. It held a bronze egg-shaped casing. Inside, something was causing the hum.

"That's impossible. She couldn't have escaped. We checked everywhere, her stupid drones were here waiting for us," Jasper was stomping around the room half pacing and half searching.

"What is that?" Steven asked. He pointed to the bronze case.

"That? It's an early model of the destabilization rod. This spire created the first prototypes. The rebels once tried to steal it. Probably because they were losing. 8LG is a coward, but I doubt she's found a way to fit inside of it," She went back to searching, but there was nothing for someone to use to hide behind in here. He checked the ceiling this time. Jasper followed the light with her eyes. Nothing. She groaned, but he was relieved.

The two of them looked around, and when Steven was satisfied that they weren't going to find the era 1 here, he said, "We can wait out the storm from here and then head back."

"She has to be here," Jasper muttered to herself, "Why would her drones be here and not…"

The egg-shaped casing in the middle of the room opened startling both of them. Plates of bronze folded and slid down revealing a humming orb of energy held by two metal prongs. There was something on one of them. Steven went closer to see what it was, his shield raised.

"Is this normal?"

"No."

A device of modern homeworld design was strapped to one of the prongs. It was a small metal box with a screen. The display was powered off. He wasn't sure what it was. If Peridot was here, she could tell him.

"Wait." Jasper saw it too, and her eyes grew wide, "Steven, get away from that! It's a-"

Her next words were stolen out of the air by the orb of energy. It sucked in all the sound in the room as if it had drawn in a large breath. It was like being caught in a vacuum. Then, in the next moment, the orb released that breath, and the sound came rushing out all at once in a shockwave of blue energy. The sound it made was like the fading sound of a gong being struck. The two observation windows exploded into glass shrapnel that was immediately carried off and lost to the dust storm.

Steven was thrown to the ground. His whole body tingled as if all his limbs had gone to sleep and his head pounded. The wind screeched outside throwing sand into the chamber. When he tried to move his arms and legs, they felt limp and useless like noodles. He raised his head up, which felt as heavy as a bowling ball, and shouted over the wind.

"Jasper?!"

She didn't answer back, but she couldn't. He saw her. He saw her gem. The destabilization blast had poofed her. It had meant to poof them both. It should have, but he was still here. He rose shakily, trying to at least make it to his hands and knees. The crack in the stone that was underneath him, the one that ran all the way through the middle of the chamber, became visible when he pushed himself up. It had taken all his strength to wobble each inch. Then he saw the other cracks. They were everywhere in the walls. The big gash in the floor and the smaller ones that branched off from it. He could feel and hear the foundation of the spire creaking and begging to give way. This had been 8LG's plan all along. He had underestimated her just as Jasper said he would. The spire would collapse, and it would be his and Jasper's tomb as well.

That is, it would be if Jasper's gem fell with him. But her gem was rattling and slowly being sucked toward one of the broken observation windows. The wind was attempting to carry her away. Steven threw his hand out and caught himself before he fell over again, then he picked up his knee and scooted it forward like a dead weight. He slowly repeated this process dragging himself toward Jasper's gem which was now being pulled a little harder. It was moving faster than he could manage to crawl. Finally, the crack in the floor split, and the half of stone that he was on, tilted up like a ramp throwing him down against it. Jasper's gem was now tumbling down. With the last bit of his strength, Steven shoved his hand underneath himself and summoned his shield. He was laying on top of it like a sled head first. With a firm kick to the crumbling stone behind him, he propelled himself down the ramp. He began to pick up speed, and he rode the shield down, rushing to meet the end of the collapsing stone floor. At the end, was a long drop into the middle of the sandstorm, and Jasper's gem.

Steven stretched out his hands, and as he soared off the ledge and into the storm, he seized her gem. He rolled himself off the shield and fell. Down and down he went, the desert swallowing him. The scream of the sand burned his face and skin. He curled into himself holding Jasper's gem close to his chest. Holding out as long as he could, he slowed their descent, and at last, he felt sand at his back that was solid.

Then he formed his bubble, rolled over on his side, and coughed the sand out of his lungs.

* * *

 

By the time Jasper reformed, Steven had already eaten two blueberry blasts and washed them down with several bottles of water. She formed, flailing her arms and legs against the bubble and then shot up gasping as if coming out of a nightmare. Her eyes stared at him, then moved to the bubble, then to the empty bottles and snack wrappers at his side. He nodded sleepily to her, the feeling still ebbing slowly back into his muscles

"How...what happened?"

"It was a trap. You got poofed. I almost died, but then I saved us both," He said casually, "And the storm is over."

Jasper looked around and then back to him, "You got us both out of there? How?"

Steven chuckled, "Told you humans aren't useless. They can take a destabilization blast better than gems can."

She rubbed her face with both hands, "When I find you 8LG..." then she looked up suddenly, "What about the spire? What happened to it?"

Steven looked down and fiddled around with one of the empty snack wrappers, "It's...gone."

Jasper closed her eyes and sighed, "Maybe it was for the best," She opened them again and added ruefully, "White Sapphire was wrong."


	15. For This You Were Created

When Steven and Jasper returned home on the warp stream, the first thing that Steven was sure of was that someone was baking a second batch of cookies. There was a moment before the warp beam had yet to clear where there was nothing but the scent of gingerbread. In that moment, anything could be behind that curtain of blinding blueish white. Anything. Even Peridot. On the other side existed an infinite number of possibilities. There was still time. In one, Peridot was sitting on one of the bar stools. Her stocking covered feet dangling. She would be taking a measured nibble from an alien cookie (one that could be trusted to possess the finest craftsmanship) then, she would catch him gazing at her. The corners of her lips would raise flashing him an awkwardly fanged smile.

Steven smiled back, but when the beam faded, the only one on the other side to receive it was Pearl. She was scrubbing a baking pan in the kitchen, alone. Pearl took one look at him, and the pan in her hands clattered into the sink.

"Goodness! What happened?"

Leaving the faucet to run, Pearl stumbled her way around the kitchen counter. The whole time her eyes never left him. Steven was drenched in sweat, his shirt stuck to his skin, and his eyes peeked out at her from a heavy blanket of dust that coated every inch of him. Pearl still threw her arms around him and squeezed. It was only after a moment, did she look down at herself and see a Steven shaped imprint on her clothes in orange. She laughed. But it was cut short when some part of herself was reminded whose company she was standing in. Pearl threw an accusing glance at Jasper, but the orange gem wasn't paying either of them any mind.

"8LG wasn't there. It was a trap," Steven said.

"A trap?"

"But we made it out just fine."

Pearl licked her thumb and rubbed at a spot of dust caked to his forehead.

"Before, at the boardwalk, Peridot knew what 8LG was doing and why. I think this era 1 version knows what ours would do too. She probably knows about our sensors and used them to bait us," He said.

Jasper stepped off the warp pad ignoring their conversation. She drifted over to the place where the temple ended, and the house began. Steven watched her go and wondered whether his plan had worked. Pearl followed his gaze. She stood by his side and drew him in against her, an arm around his shoulder. Both of them watched.

After Jasper had reformed, after the spire had come down, after she had said that White sapphire had been wrong, she hadn't spoken. The trip back to the warp pad and through the stream all done without a word between the two of them. What worried Steven the most was that it wasn't her usual brooding. It was something else entirely. Jasper stood there, the framework of a soldier rigid and straight-backed holding shattered pieces into a mold.

"Jasper?" Steven called over to her.

She did not answer but stared past the Christmas tree where snowflakes were floating down to the ground.

Steven took his backpack off and unzipped it. He reached in and dug out the books that they had taken from the archive, the only ones that had survived. Pearl looked on helplessly as every movement he made threw something grainy to the floor.

Steven approached Jasper with the stack of books in his hands, and he held them out to her, "These are yours," He said.

She turned to him. Whatever she was looking for outside in the snow, he could tell she hadn't found it, but her eyes lit up whenever she caught sight of the books.

"The records. You saved them…" She took them into her hands.

Steven smiled, "Of course. I told you I'd keep them safe in my backpack."

Jasper squinted, "That was foolish. You told me the spire was collapsing—"

"Wait. The spire collapsed  _while_  you were still inside of it?!" Pearl asked from behind him.

"Uh...well I did say it was a trap."

"Nevermind all that," Jasper cut back in, "You said that the destabilization blast weakened you. You reported to me that you barely made it out of that spire intact."

Steven winced at the look that Pearl must be giving him at that comment.

"You could have easily taken that ridiculous thing off your back and with reduced load capacity increased your chances of survival."

The thought had never crossed his mind.

"Yet you did not," She shook the stack of books at him and demanded, "Why?"

_Why would you make such a miscalculation?_

Steven put his hands on the books and pushed them back toward her, "Because they meant something to you."

Jasper looked at him utterly speechless as if his absurd ideas had reached such high levels that this all might be some sort of unfathomable circus show and Steven, the ringleader, covered from head to toe in dust, had just made Lion jump through a flaming hoop. It could have been the madness of the day, or that Steven had run through all his circus tricks and had, at last, found one that seemed to amuse her, but whatever it was, it made Jasper smile.

That little turning up of the corners of her mouth was so profound that it made the whole house go so quiet that Pearl noticed that the faucet was still running.

"Oh!" She rushed to the counter, leaned over, and turned it off. The smile was quick, and then it was gone with Jasper turning to leave with the books under her arm. Outside it was still snowing. It wasn't right that they were making her stay under the house. Before she reached the door, Steven stopped her.

"Jasper, you could stay inside where it's warm. You can take the couch if you want."

She considered it for a moment, and to both Steven and Pearl's surprise, she accepted the offer with a sharp nod. The couch groaned as she sat down taking up two seats in the process.

Pearl went up to his old room and brought down a change of clothes for him, "I love you, but you need a shower."

Steven grinned and took the clothes from her, "Love you too, Pearl."

Behind her, Jasper was sitting back comfortably on the sofa warmed by the fire. She was already beginning to read one of her books. Pearl did a double take over her shoulder to make sure she was seeing all of this right. It seemed like Pearl felt more comfortable with Jasper silently hating them all from underneath the stairs as opposed to whatever this was.

"I don't see Amethyst. She in her room?" Steven asked.

"She went to the beach to talk with Peridot."

"What?" Steven brightened up, "Peridot? Why?"

Pearl put a finger to her chin, "She didn't say."

He sighed, "Alright. Well, I'm gonna go get cleaned up."

She put together a stern expression, "And no more collapsing spires."

Steven twirled his finger across his chest crossing his heart in a promise.

Pearl shook her head, but he caught her smiling as she returned to the kitchen.

After a lukewarm shower that involved scrubbing himself raw, he had lunch and returned to his room. As soon as he walked in, he had to shield his eyes from the sunlight with the back of his hand. He turned his eyes down and covered his face with his palm.

"Change simulation weather." The room's programming awaited his preference. "...Make it...like it really is." He closed his eyes and mumbled, "Activation word, clod."

He brought his hand down. The warm beach froze over replaced by snow. The sun was absent, hidden behind countless grey clouds. But somehow Ruby and Sapphire still managed to shine in the gloom. The only signs of color in a grayscale room. They welcomed him, but only from the pedestal. He went over and plopped down on the edge of his bed and looked across the room at them. Steven missed them so much. He needed to talk to her. To Garnet. She would know what to do. What he could say to Peridot to patch things up. If only he could do it without having to say a word because what words could he use to explain how terrible he felt?

Steven looked up at their two gems, and they gave him an idea. He got up and went over to the pedestal. Garnet couldn't meditate with him, but he could meditate with her. Steven sat down on the floor across from them. Pearl had said that his link with Peridot had come from an aura power. If he could learn how to tap into it, he wouldn't have to use words. But that meant that everything counted on his ability to master it.

This couldn't be an accident like everything else had been. Steven didn't want to stumble his way through all this for the rest of his life. He wouldn't hurt or help people by fluke anymore. Steven shot a look up at Sapphire and Ruby for strength. He would take control of his own fate. These were  _his_  powers. He closed his eyes. If he could form a connection with Peridot, then he could form one with Pearl even easier. She had taken care of him all of his life and looked over him. Steven worked his way back through his memories and conjured up the image of Pearl in his mind. She came to him easily, sitting on his bed, in this room. She was clutching Red Rocker Bear to her chest and crying. He sat across from her looking out at her from amber eyes.

_Peridot. You'll take care of him?_

Steven wiggled his fingers in the air by his sides. He felt Peridot's answer to the question as he had felt it then, her fingers nudging against his own wanting to be accepted. He let her in. He opened his palm to her, and she eased in with her small fingers curling into his own. Steven had let her guide him. She said the words with him so it would be easier. He could still remember the sound of Peridot's voice, how soft and sad it had been, her words overlayed on top of his. She understood how hard it was for him to admit that he had not known Rose at all, and would never be given the chance. He only had stories. But when Pearl heard the words out loud, there was only one voice that spoke them, Tourmaline's voice.

_You'll always be my mom. That won't ever change._

But inside there had been two voices, two meanings.

Steven's gem grew warm. He felt the feeling spread out into his stomach. He had meant it. In his mind, he saw Pearl's reaction again. The stunned silence. He waited on her to reply. But there was nothing but the sound of his own voice, the sound of his own thoughts in his head. The memory of Pearl was a still image, the moment before she had burst into tears. It wasn't good enough. The times he had heard Peridot in his mind, she had wanted to give. In this memory, It had been him that had wanted to share something with Pearl. He needed a moment where she had given something back. Something truly of herself. He would have to go deeper. Steven had wanted to avoid it, but he knew which memory he would use.

_Pearl? Did I do something wrong? You have to tell me!_

It had been high above the strawberry battlefield. When he had found Lion and retrieved his mother's sword, it forced Pearl to admit that Rose had hidden something from her. Back then he couldn't understand why such a small thing had upset her so much. She took off with Rose's sword underneath her arm, and he chased after her thinking that somehow it was his fault.

She had climbed rocks that didn't touch the ground, but instead, lead up to the sky like stepping stones. He had followed her, but now he had reached the end. He couldn't make the last jump. It was too far. They were separated on their individual islands. But it had always been that way. There were pieces of Pearl that were off limits, and he would reach a point, just as he had now, where he could go no further with her. It was like the ledge he faced. They were doomed to remain on their separate islands forever; he would never get to understand her. Looking back on it now, he couldn't remember what exactly had been going through his head when he had made the leap. All he knew for sure was that he had made it for Pearl.

It's what finally carried his feet thudding across the grass. It's what made him bound off the edge. And Pearl turned back in time to see him miss.

_Steven!_

In the present, Steven's gem flared. It became a crackling fire in his gut. And as fast as the memories and the emotions came to him, he hurled them into that fire to stoke it. He would not hurt or help people by fluke anymore.

Steven of the past grasped wildly for anything to hold onto as he fell. In a frenzy of flailing hands and kicking legs, vines were snapping all the way down the rock face of Pearl's island. Finally, he grabbed one with both hands that didn't send him sailing down. He dangled in the air from that single tether. Slow and steady, hand over hand, he pulled himself up to the top of the rock where Pearl was waiting. She was leaning over the edge, her arms stretched out in front of her quaking with paralyzing fear, even if he had dropped and managed to fall in reverse she wouldn't have caught him. When he made it up over the cliff, Pearl captured him in a hug and cried into his shoulder.

_I told you not to follow me. You could have been killed._

_I had to make sure you were alright. I had to know what was wrong, Pearl._

He only seemed to make it worse.

_Sometimes...you even sound like her._

The fire in Steven's belly roared. He didn't try to contain it. He let it set everything ablaze until it spread throughout his entire body to the tips of his fingers.

_Everything I ever did, I did for her. Now she's gone, but I'm still here. Sometimes I wonder if she can see me through your eyes…_

A horrified look. She hung her head in shame. She closed her eyes.

_What would she think of me now?_

In the memory, Steven hugged her. The energy emanating from his gem begged to be free. In the present, he stretched out his hands to allow it to escape, his body unable to hold it in any longer. Steven, of both the past and the present, spoke at the same time.

"Well...I think you're pretty great."

In his head, he heard a small voice that wasn't his own speak up.

_These clothes are absolutely ruined. What was I thinking agreeing to this? Alone with Jasper? And the first thing he does is bring down a spire with him in it._

He had taken another leap of faith, but he had made it this time. Steven laid back and stretched out in all directions laughing. He could feel her worry, her mild irritation over the clothes, and her doubt about the choice to let him go alone as if those were his own feelings. And there was one last emotion at the edge of the others. Pride. Jasper had come back different, and she knew that Steven had gotten through to her in some small way. He opened his eyes as if to see if Sapphire and Ruby were proud of him but what he saw was much more unexpected. Surrounding his entire body was an aura the color of his gem. It extended almost ten feet out in all directions but as soon as he opened his eyes, it began to recede immediately.

Steven smiled to himself. He had done it. But there was more work to be done. He had to practice it until it became easier. He would work on it all afternoon if he had to. Steven closed his eyes and got serious again. For what seemed like an hour or it could have been two, he meditated until he could link with Pearl almost instantly without having to take a deep dive into his most emotional memories. It became a feeling instead. He would think about wanting to talk to her and let that desire carry him forward until another part of him would reach out on his behalf and make it so. He was relieved that it was beginning to work on command, but he felt a little guilty about making a connection to Pearl without her knowing it. By the time he felt competent in establishing the link, he had learned that Pearl was worried about how long it was taking Sapphire and Ruby to reform. That the cookies were for Connie. And that Connie was coming over later today because she had wanted to talk to Pearl about something very important but hadn't said what it was over the phone.

Pearl told him that Blue Diamond was able to use an aura power. And how exactly would a Diamond use something like this? He couldn't imagine that it was for good. The story that Garnet had told him about their first fusion was enough to paint a cruel image. He imagined a blue woman raising her hands and waving them around cackling like a witch. Ripping the emotions right out of you, stealing your thoughts, forcing her own inside of you. It entered you squirming like a worm, and you would try to fight it off, but that slimy feeling would feel more and more like your own until that was all you were. That's all she wanted you to feel. Steven shuddered. The more he learned about the Diamonds, the more terrifying they became.

But he pushed that thought away for the present. What he was doing was totally different. He only wanted to understand and to be understood. If he was ever going to get this right for Peridot, he had to shoot for a harder target. He was starting to get a little sore from sitting on the floor for so long, but he adjusted himself and closed his eyes again.

The memory of Pink Diamond's statue in the darkness of the spire appeared in his mind. The Mural. Jasper stood transfixed by it, but he couldn't see her a face where a shadow had fallen. The warmth rushed to the surface of Steven's gem with ease. Homeworld wanted to forget the rebellion. They wanted to forget what Jasper had fought for, what they had made her for. Peridot wasn't born with the knowledge, and all the gems that came after wouldn't be either.

_The others deserved to be forgotten!_

Jasper was in such pain and conflict. He wished he could just take that burden off of her so that she could see clearly. If he could, would he want to use his power to take an emotion away from someone if it meant taking their pain away? Was the aura capable of doing that? The idea excited and disturbed him all at the same time. As if pain existed as a feeling that he could cut out and remove like a cancer. But pain wasn't like a cancer. He had seen it shape people for better or worse. He thought of Lapis or even Pearl. Who would they be without their hardships and scars? Would they even be the same? No, he couldn't think like a Diamond. No one was his to mold even if this power could allow him to do it.

_Steven, get away from that!_

Jasper had called him Steven, not Rose. His gem radiated the aura, and he reached out with that part of himself as far as he could. He could feel the link fumbling to connect. He felt pain. He felt sorrow. He felt shame. And there was more. Confusion. Betrayal.

_You're not Rose...are you?_

And then Steven heard it. Jasper's voice.

_How can these records not be identical? White Sapphire cannot have both completed her vision before her shattering and have been shattered while having it. One of these must be inaccurate. Why?_

Steven opened his eyes. The pink aura began to fade. He tried to smile but couldn't force it. Wasn't he happy? Where was it? He had just managed to create a link with even Jasper. I am a traitor to Homeworld, she was right. White Sapphire lied. These records lie. Homeworld lies? Connie seemed anxious over the phone. I hope she's alright. Steven has been in his room for a while, maybe I should check in on him. This whole Peridot thing has him down. But he did go in there for privacy. Maybe I should give him space.

Steven stood up, but he almost fell over when he did. The room was spinning.

"Pearl!"

8LG! When I have you! Shattering is what you would want. Perhaps Yellow would harvest us both if I brought you before her. If? Christmas day is next week, and I haven't even picked a present out for Steven. I've never really understood these holiday things. But they make Steven happy. They bring us together.

Steven fumbled around for something to hold onto. His elbow hit something solid and he tumbled down to the floor following after it. Sapphire and Ruby fell to the ground in front of him a few feet away.

LIES. LIES. LIES. HOW MANY? WHAT WAS I MADE FOR? WHITE SAPPHIRE LIED. WHAT WAS I MADE FOR? WHAT WAS I MADE FOR?

Steven groaned. He lifted his head up to look at Sapphire.

HE CALLED ME MOM. AND HOW COULD I NOT TELL HIM THE TRUTH? HOW CAN I STILL LIE AFTER HE CALLED ME THAT? WHAT MOTHER DOES THAT? A BAD MOTHER. A BAD MOTHER. A BAD MOTHER.

"I have to...take it back."

BAD MOTHER. WHAT WAS I MADE FOR? PERIDOT.

LIES LIES LIES. I CAN'T TELL HIM THE TRUTH. PERIDOT.

YELLOW WILL HARVEST ME, AND IT WILL BE FOR THE BEST. I WANT TO TELL MY SON THE TRUTH. PERIDOT.

BAD MOTHER. PERIDOT. PERIDOT. WHAT WAS I MADE FOR? PERIDOT. PERIDOT.

BAD. PERIDOT. PERIDOT. MOTHER. PERIDOT. PERIDOT. MADE. PERIDOT. PERIDOT. FOR. PERIDOT. PERIDOT.

Steven was a sobbing mess on the floor. He let out a long wail that emptied his lungs and expelled all the other thoughts that weren't his with it.

PERIDOT PERIDOT PERIDOT PERIDOT PERIDOT PERIDOT PERIDOT PERIDOT PERIDOT.

Only his own voice remained. He choked out a gasp of relief, tears streaming down his face. Steven squeezed his eyes shut, his forehead pressed into the floor, his chest rising and falling gently but sometimes seizing with a sudden sob. Is this what it would cost to take someone's pain away? To put it on himself instead? He laid there on the floor, spent of any thought, of any emotional energy. He wanted desperately to be like the ocean outside. It did not stir. The surface was unbroken like a sheet of glass. Cold and unfeeling. Apathetic. His breath became slow and even. His head sunk to the floor, cheek mashed against the wood, and he drifted off into a thoughtless, emotionless sleep.

* * *

"Ste-man."

Steven's arm shook. The ocean outside had started again, rocking back and forth, it had enough strength to push itself ashore.

"Steven. C'mon."

He groaned and felt a tendril of something wet escape his lips and drip down his chin. He wiped it away with the back of his hand and opened his eyes. Amethyst was looking down at him, her lips scrunched to the side.

"Let's not make this a regular thing, huh?"

She went over and righted the pedestal that was laying on the ground next to him, "I know they can be trouble." Amethyst retrieved the two gems off the floor, "I'll take them off your hands for a while." She said grinning at him.

Steven stood up and looked outside trying to judge how long he had been out. The sun was just beginning to set on the frozen waters beyond the balcony.

"Sorry. I was just working on something."

The prospect of him working on something and it ending up with him on the ground drooling in front of a tipped over Garnet didn't seem to phase her in the slightest. "Well sit down. I got some good news for ya."

He shuffled over to the bed and sat down, "Don't you usually need to be seated for bad news?"

Amethyst shrugged.

"Go ahead," Steven rubbed his face and smoothed a few stray curls down.

"So, I went down to the beach today. Had a lot of fun. Helped with some of the reconstruction, hung out with some of your buddies, ate a pizza…" Steven was nodding dumbly through the list still partly asleep, "And I talked to Peridot."

That last item was like a shot of espresso, "What did she say? What is she up to? Is she okay? Is she still mad at me?"

"Whoa whoa whoa," Amethyst was grinning now and motioning with her hands to ward off the bombardment, "Slow down there."

Steven took a breath and swallowed.

"Well, I was thinking about what you said today. You were sending me and Pearl on a separate mission. So while you were off having your little Jasper bonding session, I did go on a separate mission. A big sister mission: Peridot recon."

He couldn't believe this. If he hadn't so desperately wanted to find out what she knew, and right now, he would be jumping up and hugging her. He tried to keep steady, "What did you find out?"

Amethyst laughed, clearly amused with the situation, "Only that our little P-dot is a mess without you. It's so obvious that she wants to see you. She tried to interrogate me. She asked me like all the questions you just asked me and more."

Steven was on the edge of his seat and was about to slide off into the floor, "What?! Well? What did you say?"

Amethyst feigned being offended, "Me? All the Homeworld tricks in the world couldn't get me to talk. Bro comes before Shorty Squad, but that doesn't mean I can't help the band get back together."

He stood up, "What do I do?"

"What do you mean what do you do?" She looked at him amazed," Go! Talk to her! She's still at the beach."

Steven rushed over and wrapped her in a quick hug then bolted for the door fast enough to put her into a spin, "You're the best, Amethyst!" He called over his shoulder. Steven skidded to the front door and quickly threw on his snow boots. Then, he caught himself. Pearl. She had been putting another log into the fire when he had blown right past her. Jasper was gone, but her books were still on the couch promising that she would return.

Pearl shut the stove door and turned to him a little wary. She was unsure if she should ask him what he was doing or where he was going in such a manner. Steven didn't go out the door. Instead, he came over to her and hugged her burying his head into her chest. She didn't say anything but held him back. They stood that way a good while.

Finally, Steven said, "You're a good mom, Pearl. Don't ever think otherwise."

He pulled away from her and headed for the door grabbing his black wool coat and leaving her with even more questions than she had before. But she watched him go with a smile on her face and her eyes wet.

And Steven ran. He didn't even take the stairs. He had barely put himself into his coat when he jumped off the deck and floated the way down with a hard landing. He scrambled up from the snow, and he just ran. He couldn't even make sense of what Amethyst had said. Peridot was worried about him? She was missing him? She wasn't mad? Whatever it was, for the first time, he was prepared. He had a plan. He had his aura power, and he knew how to use it. He might not even need to talk, he could just use it, and she would feel how sorry he was.

Steven turned the corner and dashed down the shore toward the beach and the boardwalk. In the distance everything was unrecognizable. He could see half reconstructed buildings, their empty skeletons of wood. Countless drones were buzzing around the structures. They worked faster than any human could possibly construct; they were all in perfect synch. But where was their queen? There was someone ahead of him. They were coming this way. He ran as fast as the snow would allow.

"Hey!" Connie waved at him when he got closer. She had Rose's sword slung over her back. She was wearing her blue wool coat and boots, the same she had worn on the day she had come back.

Steven came to a stop in front of her, "Hey. You were coming over today, right? Pearl made cookies."

"Yeah. She told you?"

"Uh, yeah." Steven was peering over her shoulder and then back to her.

Connie crossed her hands in front of her, "I guess I should tell you first before everyone else."

"Tell me what?"

"Are you alright? You seem like you're in a hurry?" She indicated with the tilt of face toward the direction he was looking at, but she didn't look over her shoulder.

Steven crossed his arms and made sure to make eye contact, "I got time. What's up?"

"Well…" Connie took the sword off of her back and clutched it to her chest. "I was thinking about what Peridot said back at my house. That I either had two choices. Do what I really want to do or live the rest of my life being miserable."

Steven uncrossed his arms.

"I was going to go back tomorrow after doing Christmas early with my parents so I could prepare for next semester. And my parents were okay with that." She found a point on the ground and stared at it and continued again but softer, "I wasn't okay with that. I didn't want them to be either. Peridot was right. I want to do what I really love." Connie met his eyes, "I want to stay here. I want to protect Earth with the Crystal Gems." She held out Rose's sword to him in both her hands offering it back and added quickly, "If you guys will take me."

Steven smiled, and for the second time today, he pushed what was offered back to someone who was afraid to receive, "I know everyone, especially me, would love to have you back. Keep it. It's yours now."

"Really? But it's your mother's sword." Connie said, still holding it out.

"And she would want it to be used to protect Earth. I don't know how to use it like you do."

Connie put the sword back. She hugged him, "Thank you, Steven."

"Of course. Me and the other Crystal gems, we're always here for you."

She chuckled, "Good because I'm going to need all the back up I can get when I tell my parents."

Steven peeked over her shoulder again.

Connie smiled, "I don't want to hold you up."

He flashed her a smile back, "Thanks, we'll talk more later." He was walking toward the boardwalk and called back, "Tell Pearl and Amethyst! I know everyone will be really happy that you're staying!"

When he got to the beach, Peridot wasn't there, and neither was the scrap pile. She had used every part or had stored them somewhere else. Buck and Sour cream were standing in front of the arcade watching several drones rebuild its roof.

"So how do you think they know carpentry?" Sour cream asked.

"Programming dude."

"Like AI?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think they'll turn on us and like start burning everything down again?"

"...Nah. Probably not."

Steven came up to them, "Hey guys."

"Hey man," Sour cream nodded.

"Sup," Buck put out his fist for a bump. Steven bumped it.

"I was wondering if you guys…"

Buck pointed farther down the beach toward the pier, "She's down there by the water. Went down there about ten minutes ago."

Steven took off, "Thanks!"

A small figure sitting near the shore came into view the closer that he came to the pier. He slowed down, and as he walked, he checked himself, straightening his shirt and brushing a hand through his hair. Steven had seen his share of sunsets, but the one in front of Peridot couldn't have been more beautiful. The light filtered pink through the clouds and above it layers of soft violet. She wasn't looking at it. When he was close enough to see, he noticed that her face was tilted up toward the darkening sky. He didn't want to think of what her eyes were searching for up there.

She sat with her knees hugged to her chest, her arms looped underneath. Steven stopped. She hadn't heard the crunching of his boots. He could activate his aura at any moment, push all his apologies through the link enough to overload her, but when it came right down to it...what if sorry wasn't good enough? She couldn't go back to homeworld, and she didn't want to go back home with him. He had trapped her, and all he had wanted to do was show her the way.

If all of that wasn't bad enough, Peridot began to cry.

His gem started to glow, and he felt a warmth there. Steven knew what was happening and he tried to stop it. He tried to will the aura to stand down, but it wasn't listening to his command. The link between them clicked into place as if they were created together. Two parts of the same whole.

Peridot looked down at the sunset and cast a thought to sea. It was a message in a bottle drifting off to nowhere but instead in search of someone. There was a small hope that it all meant something. And that bottle washed up on the shore of Steven's mind carried by the current of their bond. He read it.

_I miss you._

Steven looked down from her to his hand. He stared at it intensely, his eyebrows knitting together, his forehead creasing. No more accidents. It was his destiny. He picked the bottle up. A pink aura began to surround his hand. Steven looked up at her, and he sent it back.

_I miss you too._

Peridot stopped shaking. Her head slowly rose.

"...S-steven?"

A weight lifted from his chest when he saw her look around for him frantically. She crawled up from the ground and saw him. He gave her a half smile. It grew as she rushed to him. She was beaming, running with abandon, but she stopped short, just a few feet away, and her smile vanished to a place he wished he could follow. She had remembered something, and now she didn't want to get close. He wanted to speak, but the words fell away at the pain in her eyes. He wanted to activate the aura, but the gap between them that she had made was impossible to cross. Steven just stood there, and when he could barely tolerate the awkwardness a moment longer, Peridot finally spoke up.

"I was able to rebuild some of the robonoids. I programmed them to help me rebuild the rest."

Steven looked at her a little confused.

"I made a variation of Howard's code that Tourmaline fixed and used it to construct a new AI index that can reconstruct the buildings and afterward protect the inhabitants of the town using their plasma cannons. "

She kept going and looking past him to the drones still at work, "One robonoid can work roughly at the speed of a small human crew of construction workers."

"Peridot…"

"The reconstruction won't take long. I should have everything back to normal before Christmas if they work nonstop."

"But what about…"

"They're not going fast enough. I have to take a look at the code. I have to see if they can be sped up. I know there should be a way if I just…" The next words were caught in her throat, and she choked what was left of them out in a pitiful cry that shook her small frame. Her face twisted up, "It's not enough." She crumpled to the ground in front of him whispering, "It's not enough, it's not enough."

"Wha...Peridot. What do you mean?" Steven glanced back at the swarm of robonoids. They were working as fast as they possibly could without tearing off one of their mechanical limbs.

"I'm not like her. I want you to know. I'm not like her, I promise." She croaked. Her visor was gone, and her blue eyes were begging him to understand.

Steven got down in the snow with her and put his arms around her. Peridot crawled into his lap and clung to his shirt and sobbed even harder.

"Peri, I know you're not her. You don't need to rebuild the whole town and protect it with an army of robots for me to know that."

She stared at him, "You don't know what I've done. I thought I could change but..." She put her hands on the sides of his face, "I haven't. I'm only bringing you down with me. I'm going to ruin the only person I've ever loved."

Steven cupped his hands over hers, "Peridot. I don't understand. Ruining me? What are you talking about?"

"The corruption! I promised Pearl. I promised her. I didn't want to do it, but Steven, we were losing. Garnet was poofed. Our lightening wouldn't work on her…"

And finally, Steven understood.

Peridot curled her arms around his neck as if he might run before she had a chance to explain herself to him. She brought their faces level with each other and peeked at him so that she could catch the flit of his eye looking for an escape route. But Steven was already captured by her sad, blue eyes, the fragile weight of her arms resting on his shoulders heavier than ten Jaspers. For a moment, she did not speak, savoring this quiet moment between the two of them. When she did speak, it was low and soft, "I couldn't let her take you away from me. I didn't know what it would do, but I felt it. I was so angry at her. She was hurting you. Our friends. Our home. I had no choice. I felt it through Tourmaline, and I made her use it. I made you use it. And all you've ever wanted is to find a cure for the corruption." She leaned her head against his so that they were touching foreheads. Her gemstone, all that she was, was pressed upon him. He felt each corner, each indent as she said, "Please forgive me, Steven."

Peridot waited for his answer; she didn't take a breath. But she only heard a small chuckle as it grew in Steven's chest and became a full-on laugh that he couldn't control.

"I don't understand. Why are you laughing?" She raised an eyebrow and then frowned. She shook him, but he kept laughing, "I'm serious. I really mean it." She protested.

Her shoulders drooped, her hold around his neck loosening as she saw their moment starting to fall apart.

Steven stopped laughing.

"Hey, I'm not laughing at you."

"Are you sure?" She threw her hands into the air, "Because I would think I'm laughable too!"

He kissed her. And her whole body reacted. As soon as their lips met she was reforming the bond her arms had around his neck pulling him into her. An open-mouthed moan fled her lips and hummed against his own, muffled by another kiss. Her chest was on him; the curves of her body lining up with his and wiggling against him as if his lips conducted amber lightning. It made her cling to him, and she could not let go. Nor would he ever want her to.

When he pulled away, only for a breath, her eyes were wide and anxious. She was looking at him as if he had suffered from a moment of momentary madness. She whispered, "I've missed that so much, but I've never been more confused than the day I popped out of the ground."

"It was us. It was Tourmaline. We both did it."

She tried to pull away, but he had his hands on the small of her back keeping her close, "No...I did it. It was me."

Steven shook his head, "I thought it was me." She stopped squirming in his hands and listened. "I was angry about Sadie. I thought she was gone." Tears had formed in his eyes, and they were brimming over, "I never saw anyone die before, Peridot." His voice was a creaky whisper, "Dead because of me."

Her hands came down to his neck, "Oh, Steven. Nooooo," She breathed.

"I wanted that Peridot to hurt because she took something from me and she was going to just keep taking until I didn't have anything left. But what I did wasn't right. I thought you were afraid of me. That you thought I'd hurt you too if I could corrupt another peridot."

She pressed her fingers against his cheek, "You would never hurt me, Steven."

He let out a breath, "You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that."

"I just don't understand…" Peridot was tending to him, wiping the tears from his face, "You would never get angry like that."

"Just like Yellow Diamond would never be illogical? She would never be unreasonable?"

"You're different."

"I've always tried to show you I'm not. We all make mistakes. That's what it's like to be human. Whether Homeworld wants to admit it or not, gems are closer to us than they would like."

Steven brought his hand up to her gemstone, "The gems I've seen all have different flaws."

She held her face to the side, tilted down, allowing him to do whatever he liked to her. She glanced at him from the corners of her eyes and corrected him, "Defects."

"Different facets that come from different homes." He continued.

"Colonies of origin," She said. Her gemstone sparked with light at his fingertips.

"Different cuts. Different placements."

"Kindergarten identification."

"If allowed to be free. New ideas. New desires. New experiences."

Peridot kissed below the palm of his hand as he touched her, the brush of her lips tickling him, "Treason. Existence without purpose."

Steven met her gaze, "Finding your own purpose. Maybe there are so many Peridots out there that I can't count them all. But none of them are you. Not exactly like you. There's only one peridot that's mine."

She lowered her eyes, "How would you find her? We all look the same."

"She was made special. There's only one that's cut like her in the whole universe. Facet-2F5L cut-5XG. But finding her would be easy." He grinned, "She's the only one wearing my sweater."

Peridot threw herself against him tossing them both back into the snow. Flakes of ice fell into his collar. They were cold against the nape of his neck, but she was so warm it didn't matter. Their lips crashed against each other. Her hands found their way inside the open flaps of his coat. They disappeared underneath the hem of his shirt so she could touch his bare skin and pet his gem. It made him shiver, but her hands were warm, careful, attentive. She nuzzled his nose as she pressed another kiss to his lips.

They peered into each other's eyes.

_I love you_

She was startled but didn't move, this time she felt him reading that small private message.

She watched him send it back without moving his lips.  _I love you too._

Peridot blinked, "How…" She put a hand to her gem, "Am I chipped?"

Steven smiled.  _No_

She jerked her head back.

_What is this?_

_I might have learned a new power while we were away from each other._

Peridot squinted at him and smirked.

 _Of course, you did._  She raised her eyebrows.  _Does it work like our mind with Tourmaline? Can it show you things?_

_It can...If I focus really hard. I'm just getting used to it._

Suddenly she got off of him. He sat up with her.

_Use it on me._

_What do you mean?_

She was sitting on her legs across from him.

_Do you want to keep being Tourmaline with me?_

Steven let out a 'hah.'  _More than anything in my life. Sometimes it's all I think about. When I'm not with you…_

Peridot smiled. That was more of an answer than she had asked for. She put her hands together, her fingers grating against themselves.

_It's not fair I haven't told you everything. I want you to know who 5XG really is._

Steven put a hand on her knee.

_I know who she is._

She pressed her lips firmly together.

_Use it, Steven. I surrender to whatever you need to do._

His eyes went wide.

_Don't say that! I mean...don't say something like that. It could be dangerous. Just close your eyes and give me your hands._

Peridot closed her eyes solemnly as if marching to her own shattering. She offered her hands. Steven took them and closed his own eyes. The warmth was already in his gem before he had a chance to summon it. It sensed Peridot's will. Her thoughts. Steven waited to hear her voice in his head again and feel her feelings, but they didn't come as they had before. This was different. Was he doing something wrong?

Steven opened his eyes. He wasn't in Beach City anymore. He wasn't Steven anymore. He was Peridot.

She was standing in a long hallway lit by strips of blue light along the bottom and top of its grey metallic walls. Other halls marked with numerals and gem alphabets lead the way to different parts of the facility. The facility? What was this place? Peridot's knowledge came to him instantly at the prodding question. It was one of the many facilities on homeworld that housed peridots. A launching pad to send them to their assignments.

Peridot was on her way to collect a ship. Her very own ship. She saw a group of three Amethyst guards heading her way. She froze when one of them pointed her out. She was the only one in this part of the hall. There was no place for her to hide. They marched right up to her.

"There's the runt." One of them said, her gem on her shoulder.

The lead amethyst, her gem on her chest, gave the Shoulder Amethyst a humoring glance, "Oh no. Haven't you heard? She was selected with a few others. They were ran through trials to see who would get the special assignment."

Peridot had a feeling they weren't here to congratulate her on being chosen above the other peridots.

"You cheated." The third accused.

"What…? No, I didn't! I was the superior candidate!"

"You think we were injected yesterday?" The one with the shoulder gem asked her.

Peridot wanted to say yes, but she knew better. That answer would get her on the fast track to being harvested for sure, so she just muttered, "No."

"The panel for database room 593 was broken into. Hundreds of years of reports were accessed on a terminal there."

"We know it was you. You used that information to beat the other Peridots. Those logs were for the gem that passed the trials first."

"You're not the best gem out of that cluster. You're the most defective! You're coming with us to the Agate!"

Peridot took a step back. Her mission. Her ship. They were going to take it all away. "No!" She shouted at them, "That wasn't me!"

"What is going on here?" It was a bismuth. She cut in before the Amethysts could grab Peridot. She stood next to her.

One of the guards chuckled, "What's it to you? Shouldn't you be off doing maintenance? Putting up some new door? This has nothing to do with you,"

They shrunk away when the Bismuth formed one of her hands into a hammer. She tapped it against her open palm, "Not with me. But when we get to the Agate, I can inform her that I saw a group of Amethysts trying to stop Yellow Diamond's hand-picked peridot from completing the Earth mission. Yeah...I've heard of it. Who hasn't? You wouldn't want to try to explain that, would ya?"

"But she cheated!"

"I don't think the agate will be very happy to hear that she has to run the trials all over again with a different group. She might just punish everyone involved to be thorough."

One of the amethysts grumbled, "She's right."

"Uh huh." The bismuth was nodding.

The lead Amethyst looked back at the other two. They hated being told off by a bismuth, but none of them appeared convinced that it was worth the wrath of the agate.

"Let's go."

To Peridot's surprise they stomped off.

The bismuth turned to her and grinned, "Thank me later. Or remember me when you get back."

"Why did you do that?"

The bismuth reshaped the hammer back into a hand, "You're new, aren't you? Us worker gems. We have to stick together. Right?"

Peridot gave her a nod, and they walked together toward the hangar bays, and much to her relief, not to the administration sector.

"So, Earth. Huh?" The bismuth asked.

"They want me to oversee the beginning of a kindergarten before I go there. Then...yeah. Earth."

"You really cheat? Like they said?"

Peridot smiled, "I may have performed an insignificant amount of research before some of the trials. The Earth holds a special interest for my Diamond. If I complete this to her satisfaction then…"

The bismuth chuckled, "Right. So where you headed first?"

"A promising colony. T7B."

As if he possessed Peridot's body, Steven was thrown out of it violently. He was left spinning in the darkness. He couldn't tell where his body was or even if he was truly outside of it. Before he could find a way to get the answers to those questions, he was slammed right back into her. He was peeking out of her eyes again.

Peridot was standing on the surface of T7B. The soil in this facet of the planet was bright orange, and it was grainy like hot sand. Green stalks jutted from the ground lifting up at least twenty feet into the air. They all had been warned to keep clear from the vines that hung down in thick tendrils. At the end of each were yellow globs. The sticky substance could rub off on your physical form and eat away at you like acid. It was enough to poof you if you weren't careful. No one would tell her what happened to the ones that accidentally got the stuff on their gems. Luckily most vines didn't hang low enough to be in your path.

She was waiting on her Ruby escort to give her the all clear. They were almost back to the camp. It was taking forever. She had never met a ruby more paranoid than this one. Scouting the site of the beta kindergarten had taken double the amount of time that it should have. The Hessonite commander had informed her she would have to wait for her order to begin the prime, so she had taken the meantime to scout the next one. But if this ruby insisted on being so slow, she wouldn't be finishing ahead of schedule as she liked to. As the minutes drifted on without sight of her, Peridot wondered if the ruby had known something she didn't, and that it was that something that had stopped her from getting back here by now.

One of the blue bushes shook nearby, its leaves like spindly fingers. Each finger held rows of hard seeds underneath. When it shook, a bunch of seeds scattered to the orange dirt. She had hated the constant crunching they made under her limb enhancers since she got here. Now she just hated not knowing what was making them fall.

Peridot formed a makeshift plasma cannon with her finger joints, "Ruby? Is that you?"

Another shake. More seeds.

She edged closer and held her trembling arm with her other hand, but it did nothing to steady her aim. She clattered all the way over to the source of the disturbance. Then she saw it. In the bushes was some sort of creature she had never seen before. Organic. It had one cyclops eye mounted squarely in the center of its bulbous head. If if it even could be called a head. It had no neck. It was a small thing. It didn't even come up to the knee of her limb enhancer. It had green fur and a vibrant violet stripe down its back. Peridot watched it stick out its long tongue and curl it underneath a cluster of seeds then slowly deposit it back into its mouth. There was a gulp.

Peridot lowered her cannon. It had no teeth. No arms to grab or claw. The legs did all the work, springing and gripping the ground. She held out her hand toward it. She had read about organic life but had never had any real encounters. The hopping creature looked over at her. It didn't seem to mind. It stuck out its tongue and wrapped it around her metallic finger joint testing to see if it was food. Peridot giggled.

"What are you doing?" Said the Ruby from behind her.

She yelped and spun around. A line of movement tore through the bushes behind her as the creature made its escape.

"Nothing!"

"What was that?" The ruby was looking behind her.

Peridot didn't answer.

"So...you saw one too then?"

"Saw what?"

"An...organic."

"I'm not sure what I saw. We should get moving. Is the path clear? I hope you didn't spend all this time looking for organics instead of getting me out of here."

"Yes. The path is clear. I double checked."

Peridot groaned. "Of course you did," She muttered.

The ruby gazed up at her, "So. You know everything there is to know about kindergartens, right?"

Peridot beamed with pride and put her hand enhancers on her hips, "Of course I do."

"Is it true?" Ruby spoke in a hushed tone, "What the bismuth back at camp says?"

"And what  _exactly_  is the bismuth back at camp  _saying_?"

"That the organics go away when we build a kindergarten." She looked around to see if anyone was spying on them, "That they...die."

"Die? Where did you hear that word? The bismuth?"

Ruby nodded.

"Pfft...die." She tested the word in her mouth, but Peridot started to frown when it came back silvery and metallic. When she noticed that the ruby was still expecting her answer, she realized that she didn't have it, "It is of no concern what happens to the organics. Unless you want the topazes to come seize you, I would get rid of that sort of talk."

The ruby nodded dutifully. Peridot could tell that this wasn't the end of it. She would have to ask for a replacement ruby the moment she returned to camp.

The bushes shook again. Peridot raised her plasma cannon, and the ruby formed her dagger.

The Hessonite commander stepped from around a tree avoiding the vines. Her white thigh high boots crunched the seeds at her feet to dust. Most wore high collared capes, but Peridot assumed she had taken it off for better maneuverability within the jungle leaving her with the burgundy uniform.

"Put those weapons down." 4CH narrowed her eyes to Peridot's finger joints forming a cannon, "That is not the designated use for your plasma cutter. Who showed you to use it like that?"

Peridot disengaged it at once, "No one. I just...figured it out."

The Hessonite's frown deepened, but to Peridot's relief, she turned it on the ruby next, "Report to the agate. She has some questions for you."

"Y-y-yes mam." Ruby saluted and ran off in the direction of the camp.

This left the two of them alone. The Hessonite's eyes were wandering through the trees all around them. "I was on my way to deal with another matter, and you have been waiting on my order regarding the prime. How's the beta?"

"Good. I completed a thorough inspection. It has adequate resources to produce top quality Jasper and Carnelian."

Peridot stood waiting on the commander to give an order or comment on her report, but she just stood a long while considering something.

At last, 4CH said, "What was the ruby you were speaking to saying? Did she mention anything regarding organics to you?"

Peridot swallowed, "Yes. She said that the kindergartens...they make the organics of this planet die."

The hessonite narrowed her eyes, "And did she give you a source for this information?"

"No. I assumed that she was making it up."

Hessonite nodded thoughtfully, "Very well. Dealing with the ruby may be enough then." She turned to leave, "Come along. We have the prime to discuss."

She didn't budge, "Commander?"

"Yes, 5XG?"

"Is it true?"

She shouldn't have asked that. She wasn't sure what made her ask it. But she knew the answer the moment Hessonite turned back to her, "You must be very careful with questions like that. But I will be candid with you because you were specially assigned here. If we were to accidentally find your gem tangled in the tree vines, I would have to explain to my superiors why there is a delay in the construction of kindergartens." The Commander took her time strolling up to her, "I will only make this clear once. The organics of this planet or any planet are infestations. They destroy the resources of a planet without purpose. They consume them until they are consumed in the process. The organics will die, but they were already doomed from the start. They are caught in a useless cycle that has only one outcome and no purpose. It is  _your_  purpose to ensure that gemkind continues and thrives. We're all counting on you and Yellow is counting on all of us." Hessonite slapped her hand on Peridot's shoulder smiling, "The infestation has been cleansed in facet two. Proceed with the kindergarten and keep the questions to yourself. Leave the organics to me, 5XG."

Peridot was trembling in her limb enhancers, "...Understood, 4CH."


	16. For You I Fight

When the memories were finished, Peridot's eyes fluttered open coming out of a dream. She watched to see what Steven's first reaction would be. No matter what came out of his mouth, only what his eyes and his face said would matter. He couldn't lie. The corners of his mouth twitched up in the hint of a smile that said he understood, but his eyes mourned quietly the life on T7B as if a passerby to their procession. Peridot looked down at both of her hands nestled in his. They were both sitting in the snow across from one another. The sunset was almost gone, and it was growing dark. Only an orange thumbnail rippled its light across the waters.

"There were so many kindergartens, Steven. I didn't have time to finish them all myself before they sent me here. I could have done something. I should have...but I was scared that I would end up like the other gems that 4CH would come to get."

Steven put her hands together and then clasped his around them creating a cocoon of warmth, "You didn't know what you know now. I felt it. You were confused and scared. They made you do those things. It wasn't until Earth that you began to understand what life really was."

Peridot's bowed her head. For a long time, she rested herself in the sight of her hands sheltered in his. When her gaze returned to him, it peeked from underneath a lowered brow, "And now that I understand, I know what I've done."

Steven pulled his hands away from her, and she leaned forward not wanting him to go. He motioned her over instead, "Come here."

She crawled into his lap and sat facing outward with her back to his chest to watch the sun disappear beneath the waves. Around her waist, Steven brought his arms, and Peridot put her hands on them to make sure they stayed right where she wanted them. As the minutes drifted on with them in silence, she sunk deeper into his embrace and all there was, was him, and the smell of home buried in the wool of his coat. Peridot let her hair flow down to her shoulders and drape over his arms and wherever the locks would like to go. That way, she could lay her head back against his chest and then turn her cheek toward his shirt when the sun was gone. She let out a little sigh when Steven's lips pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Her fingers curled into the opening of his coat, and she held onto it, and him, and home, and warmth, and love.

Steven brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "I forgive you, Peridot. But you have to forgive yourself."

Peridot looked up at him, and then to the robonoids that were still hard at work reconstructing the boardwalk. Steven brushed her hair with his fingers and held her close. She put her cheek back against him and closed her eyes.

Steven lost track of how long they stayed on the beach long after sundown. Neither of them were in a rush to move. Peridot's weight in his arms felt right, and there was a sense of peace that fell over him like a blanket that he had not felt since their last fusion. If he didn't know better, he would have assumed that Peridot was asleep. She laid in his arms perfectly still, perfectly beautiful, and with her knees pushed up toward her chest so that his arms were locked between them and her body. A wavy lock of blonde hair draped across her face so that the tip of it just touched her tiny nose and her breath was slow and shallow delivering barely perceptible puffs into the air. He didn't want to disturb her. He understood her relief. It was the kind that you felt when at last you threw yourself down after a long marathon; their marathon had been not knowing, and what she had thrown herself down into was him. It was the relief of finally being within her good graces again, to know that she loved him and to know she understood that he loved her.

"I love you, Steven." She whispered as if reading his mind. It was now a possibility that she could have.

"I love you too, Peri."

"This will all end one day, won't it?"

"What do you mean? What will end?"

"...Us." She said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because. It's too good," She said.

Steven squeezed her and put his head on hers, "We'll last forever."

Peridot squeezed his arms back. "Promise?" She mumbled.

"Promise."

They watched the stars come out together and listened to the waves glide into shore. The air grew colder, and Peridot grew warmer, and when he asked her about it, she giggled and admitted to increasing her body temperature like a heater for him. He laughed, and he stayed there with her. It only gave him an excuse to hold her closer, and her hands moved inside his coat until she was holding him back. They talked. And at first, it was slow and patiently under soft voices then sometimes faster and passionately. They spoke about the robonoids and the boardwalk and then about Steven's trip to the spire and his attempts to help Jasper. He told her about the trap and how close it had been. She only pulled him closer and said it was because he felt cold. The night became longer and darker, and Peridot's gem glowed faintly to give them light. They talked about how he learned the aura power and how she had helped Connie come to a decision about what to do. For the two of them, there was no sense of time; there was the sense of each other's smiles and laughs and touches, there was the sense of their looks that they gave each other.

Finally, Steven sighed contentedly as he looked over the black ocean one last time. He turned his eyes down to Peridot, but she was already looking up at him, still curled up. Her gaze was tied to a string following him wherever he went as it always was. When he couldn't help but plant a kiss on her mouth, he felt her lips rise against him into a smile. He smiled with her, and when he pulled away, she kept her fingers against his cheek.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Please." She said.

* * *

"So what do you think we should do when we find 8LG?" Steven asked as they climbed the stairs to the house.

"Well...I had an idea."

"I knew you would."

She smiled at the compliment. When they reached the top, he opened the door for her. As they entered, they found the house empty. Jasper's books were still on the sofa where she had left them, but there was no sign of the owner. Steven hung his coat up. The living room was warm, but the fire in the stove was dying. All that was left was small roasting embers.

Peridot tugged at his arm, "Would you make me that sweet beverage? The hot one."

"Some cocoa?"

She bobbed her head up and down.

He kissed her cheek, "Of course. You really like that, huh?" Steven went into the kitchen and flipped on the light, and Peridot took up a seat at the bar across from him.

"It does something to me." She answered and watched him as he made it.

He put on a pot of milk to heat, took out two cups, and grabbed the marshmallows. When the milk was ready, he moved everything in front of Peridot so she could see.

"We drank a lot of this as Tourmaline. You know how to make it yourself right?" Steven asked her pouring the milk into the two cups.

"Yes." She looked at him worried, "I like it when you do it though. Is that okay?"

He smiled at her, "That's alright."

Happily, she went back to watching him stir the cocoa in and then the marshmallows. The clinking of the spoons as he stirred was enough to put a grin on her face in anticipation. When he was done, he pulled the spoon out of her cup and held it out to her. She took it in her mouth and licked it clean.

"Delicious." She said, "Thank you for making this for me, Steven."

"You're welcome."

Peridot held her mug in both hands and took a big gulp of her cocoa sighing into it and making a big steam cloud. It would have been big enough to fog up her visor but she hadn't put it back on, and her hair was still down resting neatly on her back.

Steven took a sip from his own cup, "So...uh. What did you think about 8LG?"

She took another big gulp before putting it down, "You know how she has that—"

He pointed to her upper lip, "You got a little…"

"Huh?" She licked her upper lip and smiled at him shyly, "Thanks."

"Mhm."

"So, she's got this body armor suit. It's made out of the same metal the robonoids are. Our lightning can't affect it. But, I was thinking. When we fought the assassin robonoid, we used our shield to cut through the shell. So why not do that again? We cut away at the weakest parts of her suit. That'll be the bendy parts. The joints and around the hips and sides. Then there is a problem."

He took another sip and lowered the cup, "What's that?"

"We made a large incision in the robonoid, but the areas we have to damage 8LG's suit are going to be small little openings. If we try to shoot a big blast at her, the rest of the suit is still going to discharge it."

"This was sounding really good too."

Peridot grinned, "But I had an idea for that one too."

Steven smiled.

"We can't fire a bolt at her, but if we get in close and put the charge into our hands, we can grab her where there isn't any armor, right on her physical form, and discharge it that way. It would be too close for the suit to ground it."

"You're a genius, Peridot."

She blushed and tilted her head to the side as if trying to be modest, "I know."

Steven chuckled and slowly sipped away at his drink. Peridot finished hers in one more gulp. When she was done, she looked around taking in the view of the house as if she had been gone for months. Her eyes stopped when they fell on the temple door.

"Ready for bed?" He asked her.

"I'm just tired, I mean not physically tired, but tired from all the work I did with the drones. I want to spend time with you. Only you. Alone."

"We are alone."

"Really alone."

He knew what she meant. He found his hand was trembling when he went to wash their cups. It wasn't like he hadn't thought of this before. They had even attempted it before, but that was different. Now, it seemed serious. What if he did badly? Or didn't know what to do? How could he teach someone something that he had never done himself? He had seen things before, but it was because he was curious and the gems wouldn't tell him. His Dad kept putting it off until he was older. But actually doing it? Steven never had. Now Peridot was the most important person in the world to him. He couldn't screw this up. But he had to admit, no matter how afraid he was, he wanted this more than anything else.

"I...I think they're clean."

"What?" Steven looked up at Peridot and then down at the cups in the sink he had been washing clean three times over. "Oh. Yep. Clean." He hurriedly put them away and turned back to face her.

Peridot hopped down from the bar stool, but Steven came around slowly. She took his hand and walked with him to the temple door. The amber dot burned at their approach and opened. The sound of the sea hitting the beach flowed out to them. The curtains were pulled back on every window just as he had left them earlier. The moonlight poured through the glass throwing rectangles of milky white on the hardwood floor.

They entered, and Steven walked to the middle of the room looking out from the open balcony doors. The temple door closed with a thud. They were alone. He turned to her, his heart beating a little faster. Peridot was peering up at him.

"I thought about taking you ice skating tomorrow. It's another trial that you haven't done yet, and it's really fun."

"What do you do?"

"Well you get these boots, and they have these blades on the bottom. It lets you cut across the ice like glide across it."

"So I have to strap knives to my feet and use them to cut across water that is frozen?"

"...Yes. But doesn't that sound fun? You know like the sledding we did?"

"I think you just like putting me into compromising situations as I have stated before."

There were butterflies in his stomach, and they were trying to beat their way out through his gem, "What if I do?" He said.

Her head tilted to the side exposing her neck to him, "I think there are easier ways to get me into them if you want." She looped her fingers into the loops of his jeans and whispered, "You only have to ask me." He felt a tug at his waist, "I would do what you asked me."

Steven blushed, "But...I don't want it to seem like I'm giving you orders. We're equal," He put a hand to her cheek and stroked it with his thumb, "You don't have to serve anyone anymore."

Peridot's eyes lowered, "I have all these feelings that I don't know what to do with." She met his eyes, "When I look at you, all I want to do is give them all to you." She put her hand over his, holding it to her cheek, "You make me feel safe, and I'm not afraid. You make me feel loved, and I'm not alone. You make me feel important, and I'm heard. Won't you let me return that? Can you show me what to do with all of this?"

"I…I'm a little nervous. I've never done it before. It would be a first for me too." He swallowed.

Her features softened seeing him differently than a moment before. She now noticed his face turned down away from her in the darkness, his back against the moon, "I didn't know you were nervous." She lifted forward on her tiptoes and held her lips near his telling him she wanted a kiss. He turned back toward her and gave it to her. She let a small moan asking for more, and he gave her those too. He would give her anything she asked for. "You're safe with me, Steven," She whispered to him, "We can learn together."

Peridot nestled into his arms as he put them around her. He moved his hands underneath the curtain of blonde hair and rubbed her back through the uniform when she arched it. He was looking down into her blue eyes that held an infinite patience. He was confident that if he just stood here all night with her that she would wait, not because he had told her to, but because she wanted to.

"It's just us," She whispered near his cheek, and he felt her lips press there to reassure him. The sweet warmth spread from that spot down to his chest.

"Tell me, only me, what you want."

He touched her arm, "I..."

"...Yes?"

"I would like to see you without that uniform."

Peridot bit her lip. He watched her draw her teeth across the plump skin of her bottom lip pulling it taut right before releasing it causing it to bounce back, "Would that please you?"

Steven slowly nodded.

She turned around with her back to him, "Could you do it for me?"

He came up behind her. She reached back and gathered her hair together and pulled it over her shoulder. The shoulder straps gave way to his hands as he tugged them down her arms. He took his time admiring each inch of green skin that was revealed until the top was hanging loosely on her hips. In the moonlight, he could see the small ridges of her shoulder blades. Steven thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, human or gem. The way her sides curved and widened at her hips were perfect. Peridot sucked in a breath when he planted a trail of kisses down her back. But she couldn't wait with his teasing. She wiggled her hips as soon as he had reached the end of his trail and the uniform fell to her feet bringing him face to face with her bare butt.

He kissed the right cheek. She gasped, "I didn't even know you could kiss there."

Steven let out a light chuckle, "You can kiss anywhere."

"...Anywhere?" She stammered.

He squeezed her ass, and she moaned, "I love it when you touch me like that."

He got on his knees behind her, and as he massaged each cheek and squeezed when he liked, he had a clear view of her pussy. It was becoming wet. He could see it glistening. He felt a real ache when he laid eyes on it. He longed to stroke that ache. But not yet. Her first, he told himself. His fingers reached for it, but he stopped at her thigh. Then indirectly, he made his way towards it brushing his fingers along the inside of her leg. Peridot bent and pushed her hips forward offering herself to him. When she moved, it caused his fingers to find her wet lips.

"I don't know how, but I know that I want you there." She breathed.

He didn't understand it either, but the way she was acting was driving him forward. It felt like he was working off instinct now. He just wanted to touch her, wanted to hear her noises. With his fingers, he spread her open and explored her clit with small circular motions. Her knees bent, and she rocked her hips slowly pressing back into his touch so she could increase the pressure.

"Do you like this?" He asked, knowing that she did, but wanting to hear her, wanting to make sure this was right.

She struggled out an, "Uh huh," He listened to her breathing and how heavy it was becoming.

At her entrance, he teased a finger, then another, then slowly buried them inside of her inch by inch.

"Stars…"

With a gentle motion at first, he thrust two fingers inside of her. He loved listening to the little 'Ah' she made every time he pulled back and plunged forward. The curling of his fingers downward inside of her made her buck back toward him.

"Yes...yes...this…this…" She was repeating in a feverish whisper as he pumped his fingers deeply. She seemed lost for a moment not speaking to anyone not even to herself but just saying the words because they felt good like the way his fingers felt good working a slow-building fire between her thighs. She was dripping down the back of his hand and panting as she slowly started to lose control, lost in a trance of only the pressure of his fingers driving even faster inside her from behind. Steven brought his other hand up to rub her clit, and as he flicked his thumb over it, her hips jumped forward. She pulled away from his fingers and turned around.

Steven started to get up from the ground and ask her what was wrong but there was a hunger in her blue eyes like nothing he had ever seen. She didn't even give him the chance to stand up before she pushed him over onto the floor and was on top of him, sitting on his legs, unbuttoning his pants. She tore them off and threw them to the floor, and in a flurry of movement he was pulling his socks off and kicking his boxers down. Everything went dark as his shirt was pulled up over his head, he was pushing, and Peridot was pulling. Then everything came rushing back, and she was kissing him hard on the mouth. He was pushing back hard too. He didn't even want to breathe if it wasn't to take her in. He had to gasp between the partings. Her hands were touching his chest. Her tongue was licking his. There was only the intake of quick breaths as she sucked on his lips. The small smacking noises that it made. He moaned with pleasure feeling her warm naked body against his without anything in between them. No barriers. No filter. Their hands were touching, grabbing, squeezing, trying to get more of each other than they already had.

Then, Peridot found the more she was looking for.

Everything came to a halt when she grabbed his cock in her hand. She was firm, like holding a rod. It was pulsating in her palm to the rhythm of his heartbeat. Steven was watching her hold it and look at it while he sat up, propped by his elbows, back still to the floor. Her lips were parted open, the bottom one quivering, as if for a moment there was clarity in her lustful haze.

He ached when Peridot's eyes locked with his. He let out a big sigh when her hand began to tug up and down relieving that ache enough so that it was bearable.

"I want to please you in a way no one else can." She whispered. He couldn't look away, completely captured by her eyes shimmering in the moonlight. She was stroking with long, slow strokes and squeezing at the base of his cock.

"Over...over to the bed." He breathed. They stood up together, and he looked after her, seeing her hips sway and her feet patter across the wood floor eagerly wanting this. She sat on the edge of the bed and scooted back, a small pout on her lips that he wasn't already there. But it soon turned to a smile as he came over to her, her eyes were bobbing with another part of him that moved as he approached. Her legs opened up for him, and her small feet rubbed against his calves as he slid into her embrace. Around his neck, her arms folded, and in his hair, her fingers glided.

He took his cock in his hand and held it over her entrance. She kissed him, "Yes." She pleaded.

Steven slid the shaft against her, coating himself in her, and thumped the head against her clit that was now hot and throbbing causing her to lift her butt up off the bed so she could push into him. She thrust forward, he drove down, and his cock sunk deep inside of her. Peridot let out a long, loud moan. Steven's arms were beside her holding onto the bed for support, and she clutched at them and held on as he began to thrust.

"Please...take it." She whimpered.

Steven felt the pressure rising inside of him almost immediately, and he fought it off, wanting to last long for her. As long as she needed. But she was massaging him from all sides. It was a sensation he had never felt before. They were doing this together. Every time he drove himself down, her hips were meeting him as she bucked up wanting more, wanting him deeper. Together they found a rhythm they liked. Without fail she would be there again at the end of each stroke begging him to force her back down to the mattress.

"I feel...something more...don't...don't stop. Harder." She commanded.

He slammed her down harder at the end of his thrusts, and she cried out in pleasure. Her small breasts were bouncing at each stroke. Steven grabbed them with both hands squeezing them. Peridot grasped at the bed sheets on either side of her.

"Yes...touch me." She was curling her fingers into the fabric bunching it up.

Steven's fingers were on her dark green nipples pinching and flicking them. Peridot leaned up to kiss him desperately as he fucked her. She was whispering to him across the small gap their lips made between the licks and kisses, "Yes...yes...don't stop...don't stop…"

Steven moaned, "Peridot...I'm close."

He was pumping faster than her hips could keep up and she watched his cock slam inside her with a wordless stare of pure heat and passion, her mouth open but only to suck in a big breath and heave it out. She was unable to do anything but watch him ravish her while in a delirious and sweaty bliss.

Steven couldn't hold out any longer, not with her looking at him like he was the sexiest thing she had ever seen, and all she wanted was what he was doing to her right now. Before he plunged down one last time, his gem glowed red hot, as hot as Peridot felt inside, and he unloaded everything into her filling her up completely. She cried out, and he felt the muscles of her pussy clutch him and contract. Peridot's gem lit up and flickered quickly. Her whole body let go with a tremendous release and trembled underneath him.

There was an explosion of amber light, and when it cleared, Tourmaline was gasping, writhing partly on her side and partly on her stomach, clawing at the sheets. The waves of their dual ecstasy rolled off her naked body.

"Stars…" She gasped and put a hand to her breast, feeling her heart thudding in her chest. She kicked her feet into the covers sending them into a flurry and started giggling uncontrollably, "Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you."

Tourmaline rolled over on her back blowing out a satisfied breath. She stared up the ceiling still breathing hard. She wiggled her hips, arched her back, and rubbed herself all over, "Mmmmm. That was amazing."

"You are so hot."

"Temperature-wise or…?" She answered herself.

With a sly grin she let out another giggle, "You know what I'm talking about."

An idea made her sit up quickly throwing locks of amber hair over her forehead. She gasped, "I want to do this all the time. We can do it allllll the time?"

"There's so much I want to learn. And I can do...ohhhhh. And you can...whaaaat? What's that called?" Tourmaline blushed a deep amber on her yellow cheeks, "Lick me there? I would really like to try that on you. On your...you know."

Tourmaline smiled mischievously and fell back over into the covers. She grabbed at a pillow curling into it. "Uhhmmmm." She settled into it and closed her eyes, "I love you." She whispered.

* * *

The temple shook. The bed underneath Tourmaline rattled. She barely registered it. It might as well had been Amethyst's hand shaking her awake. Steven had all but built up an immunity to her wake up calls. She groaned his usual response. She opened her eyes to the rays of sunlight that were much too bright. They were cutting through the windows promising her a pleasant day. The pillow was still jammed between her arms and stomach where she had curled around it. She gave it a squeeze and lifted her head up a little in a haze searching for an answer to the question that was blinking over and over in her mind. Why am I awake right now? The temple answered her with another quake.

Tourmaline drew herself up on her hands and knees swaying gently and fighting off the instinct to let herself go and bury herself in the covers where the sunlight couldn't get to her eyes. She muttered to herself, "And here I thought I was going to get some Camp Pining Hearts in this morning, just the two of us."

Her feet touched the floor, and she strolled over to the door. She was about to open it when she realized something wasn't right. There was a gentle breeze. She looked down at herself and wiggled her toes. Bare feet, shapely athletic legs, wide hips, Peridot's most sensitive parts. She was naked. Tourmaline laughed trying to figure out what kind of face Pearl would make if she had really opened the door like this. A muffled explosion from the other side of the door sobered her up. Her eyes went sharp and clear. Whatever it was, it was serious and not just a random Amethyst prank.

In a flash of light, Tourmaline split into two figures. Steven and Peridot rushed for their separate piles of clothes. They watched each other get dressed quickly. Of course, Peridot was finished first. There wasn't much to her outfit. She ran over to him and took his hand while it was reaching for a sock.

"Tourmaline uses my stockings anyway, forget the shoes."

Peridot grabbed him and planted a kiss on his lips throwing a startled Tourmaline onto the floor.

She sat up and furrowed her brow in annoyance, "All I wanted to do was spend time with you this morning. This better be important." Tourmaline stood up and hurried to the door. She wiped a hand over her face and put Peridot's visor back on. The amber dot glowed, and the temple door opened.

"You clods better not be hurt out here." She called out in a worried and unsteady voice as she stepped out into the warp room, "Crap." There was a big gaping hole in the front of the house, and whatever had gone through it demolished the bottom of the stairs and tore the door off with it. There was fighting on the beach. Tourmaline ran and went through the hole.

"Stop, Garnet! What she's saying is true!" Connie was standing on the beach below in between Jasper and Garnet holding her hands out.

"You better listen to the small human before I grow tired of holding back," Jasper spat. She was wearing her helmet.

Garnet slammed her gauntlets together, "I won't let you hurt him."

Jasper grinned, "Let me? I've had every opportunity with you gone! But I haven't. You've already failed to protect them against one lone Peridot." Her helmet vanished, and she held out her hand to Tourmaline standing high above them on the deck as if her presence was proof enough. She chuckled, "He doesn't require your protection."

Garnet turned to look at them and let her gauntlets poof.

Tourmaline floated down to the beach and headed over to them. Amethyst and Pearl had been standing off to the side determined not to get involved. They were neutral when it came to Jasper's fate, but thankfully Connie had better consideration of what Steven was trying to accomplish. Peridot was remarking to Steven mentally of her bravery, standing in the middle of a fight between a fusion and a quartz soldier. Rose's sword strapped to her back made Steven feel a little bit better. Connie didn't seem the least bit phased. She just stood there looking between the both of them like a stern mother glancing bewildered at the antics of two children who clearly knew better.

As the fusion came onto the scene, Amethyst grinned in her sly way, "Tourmy." That one word was enough to mean that Steven now owed Amethyst a favor. She was delighted with herself.

Pearl greeted both of them in her own way. She stood proper, arms folded in front of her, hands clasped together. She always looked ready to dance, her form impeccable. She gave them a polite nod, but her smile betrayed how happy she was to see them together again.

She gave Amethyst a weary smile thanking her for her sisterly service and acknowledged Pearl's curt nod with one of her own still smiling.

But at the end of the welcoming runway was Garnet standing a little awkwardly as if she was out of place. Maybe Connie's glare had made her feel foolish, or maybe Jasper's words had penetrated the steely surface of her shades, but all the same, Tourmaline threw her arms around the other fusion and squeezed.

"I missed you so much."

Garnet squeezed her back, "We missed you too."

Jasper groaned at the display.

"You have a truce with Jasper?" Garnet asked Tourmaline suddenly, looking over her shoulder at the sneering gem.

Connie joined Amethyst and Pearl. Jasper crossed her arms.

Tourmaline took Garnet aside privately, "She's helped us a lot. I think I can convince her to join us. I'm close. I just need more time."

"I don't think it's going to go the way you want," Garnet said solemnly.

"...Why? Did you see something? Is that why you attacked her?"

Garnet's silence was all the confirmation that she needed.

"What did you see?"

"I don't know. It's a feeling. Something bad is going to happen, and Jasper is going to be there when it happens."

"But maybe Jasper isn't the cause," Tourmaline tried to protest.

"Hey!" Jasper called over to them. She marched over, and Garnet stood stoically beside Tourmaline, prepared to defend them at any moment, "It's clear that I'm no longer welcome. I've upheld my part of the bargain. Now it's your turn. I want that Peridot today. Then we can both be out of each other's way."

"Today? I don't even know where she is. How am I supposed to find her in one day? She could be anywhere." Tourmaline crossed her arms, "I was going to go ice skating today too…" She muttered.

"That's not my problem. We made a deal. Now deliver." Jasper pointed a finger at Garnet, "Have her better half figure it out with that sight of hers."

Garnet's jaw clenched, and Tourmaline put her hand on the fusion's arm to calm her.

"Ste—Tourmaline. I have a suggestion." Pearl said stepping forward, "You could use your aura. Apparently, Jasper has served with this Peridot before. With their past connection, you can use that to locate her."

Tourmaline went over to Pearl leaving Garnet and Jasper to eye each other. They were looking for any reason to begin a rematch.

"The aura will work like that? I can trace her presence through Jasper's connection with her?"

Pearl put a hand to her other arm, "Yes."

Peridot inside Tourmaline's mind questioned how Pearl knew so much of this power, but Steven wouldn't let her ask that question. He was glad to have Peridot's insights and ideas flowing through his head again, but he didn't want to be rude to Pearl. So instead he let her ask, "How did you know that I can control the aura now?"

Pearl leaned forward and spoke low, "I know what an aura connection feels like." She smirked, "Next time, you should ask."

Tourmaline bared her teeth in an embarrassed smile, "Sorry."

"Are we doing this thing or not?" Jasper asked from behind her getting impatient, "What do I have to do?"

Tourmaline turned to her, "Alright. Give me your hand and close your eyes."

Jasper trudged over and held up her hand as if to initiate an arm wrestling contest. Tourmaline took up a position across from her. All eyes were on the fusion to see what this aura would look like and if this would really work.

Jasper narrowed her eyes and growled, "This isn't an all-access pass. Only. The. Peridot. Understand?"

Tourmaline didn't answer. She grabbed Jasper's hand. The sounds of their hands clapping together sent out a sound wave that reverberated and left the beach far away. They were no longer standing on it. They were moving to a different time and to a different place.

"Dig!" Jasper turned to look at what was left of her team while stabbing a finger toward the collapsed rubble of the tunnel they had just been underneath moments ago. The ruby and amethyst were huddling together in the darkness of the cave. She could see the ruby shaking her head in the glow that her chest gem was giving off.

"Jasper…" The amethyst said, "There's no way she survived that. The rest of this place is unstable. You heard her yourself. We have to get out of here before that's us."

Jasper stomped a step toward them, and they fell back, "You are dense as you are insubordinate. She's a peridot. That collapse wasn't enough to even poof her. She's on the other side. I know it!"

Now the ruby joined in on the whimpering, "If we start digging, we are going to make this whole tunnel come down."

"I will not return to the agate and report that I lost my assigned peridot. I will do this myself if I have to! I'll report your pathetic performance to her instead."

Jasper spun around and started to dig. She chucked the rocks behind her wearing down the pile in front of her. Although she listened for the Peridot to make a noise or shout from the other side, there was no call. The ruby and amethyst were watching her, shaking, paralyzed with a fear that kept them from moving from the spot. They were afraid of the possibility of collapse, but they were also scared of Jasper in equal measure. If they tried to leave without her, there was a good chance that Jasper would get to them before they were crushed to death. No matter how much Jasper scooped and grabbed, there was always more layers of packed dirt and rubble awaiting her. The ground rumbled underneath their feet, but Jasper ignored it still on the ground clawing through the rock.

"Jasper...we have to go." The amethyst begged.

"NO!" Jasper boomed.

"She's just a peridot! The agate won't fault you!"

"I'm...I'm almost through."

A quake hit harder this time, and a boulder crashed into the ground behind Jasper almost smashing into the ruby. After it, smaller rocks started raining on their heads. Jasper looked down at her progress. She realized she was nowhere near through. She jumped up.

"Run!" She commanded. The ruby and amethyst were already obeying. She charged after them as the tunnel at her back began to give way. They sprinted toward the light of the opening of the cave, their boots kicking up the dirt and gravel. They slid out just in time and Jasper had to leap forward to miss the destruction of the entrance. She hit the ground, her body rolling a few times before she came to a complete stop.

Jasper groaned and lifted herself up. There was silence on the mountainside where they had made it out, but she could hear the screams of gems shattering. She could hear the scrape of their gemstones against the sharp edges of blades. Their pleas for help. Their grasping hands were tugging her down to the ground, pulling at every piece of her uniform. Every time she moved her arms and legs she heard the crunching of gem shards as if laying on top of a hundred corpses.

_Help me!_

The voices of the dead had never left her. Now there was another to add to the list. But one was always louder than all the rest. The one that would forever haunt her worse than the others.

_The pain...end it, shatter me, Jasper._

Jasper howled and snarled at that voice that clawed at the inside of her skull. Alarmed at Jasper's sudden fit, Ruby came over to help her up off the ground, offering her hand.

"Jasper, what's wrong? We're okay!"

Smeared in dirt, eyes flitting side to side wildly as if sizing up imaginary enemies, brow wrinkled, and teeth clenched, Jasper hissed, "Get. Away. From. Me."

Tourmaline was slammed back into her body, and she was being hauled forward, her limp feet dragging lines in the snow on the beach she had now returned to. She was inches from Jasper's face. The orange gem was huffing, her chest rising and falling heavily. Tourmaline's eyes widened.

"You...tried to save her. Why didn't you tell her?"

Jasper tightened her grip on the fusion's hand, "Where is she?"

Tourmaline let out a breath, "Beta Kindergarten, lower levels of the facility."


	17. We Who Were Left Behind

On a cold but sunny winter day near the end of December, in the house that Steven Universe grew up in, minus half a flight of stairs, a gaping hole in the front, no door, and guarded by a repurposed robonoid named Howard, Jasper stood in front of the warp pad. But she wasn't alone. All who called themselves a Crystal Gem stood behind her.

Tourmaline was in front as if to perform a send-off for a good friend. Jasper turned to her, prepared to accept it; she had always known it would end this way. Her face was a stony slate waiting for the words goodbye to crash against it and do no damage. She spoke first, "I can handle the rest on my own. If you're right about where she is in the Beta, then there will be no escaping me this time."

"We're going with you."

Jasper's face twisted in anger, "If you think you're going to stop me from—"

"No," Tourmaline gave her a small smile, "We have your back, Jasper."

Jasper turned hesitant. A moment ago she was firm, ready to march through the warp pad, leave everyone else behind. Now, she looked troubled, as if searching for reasons for why that wasn't going to work, maybe even reasons as to why she would be better off without them. She could finally be rid of them and her need for their help. But Jasper ran her gaze across the team assembled behind the fusion testing the surety of that statement. She looked for a shaking head, a patronizing smile, maybe even a sucker punch from Garnet, but all she saw were the determined faces of the beings that would follow Tourmaline wherever she went even if her steps took her behind Jasper. And they would follow because they loved her, not because they feared her. Jasper glanced down and then back to Tourmaline.

"Just don't get in my way…" She said. The growl that usually backed up these kinds of statements was missing. It was sullen as if remembering something that had been gone a long time.

When Jasper took to the warp pad, the Crystal Gems followed.

The Beta Kindergarten, the snow-shrouded sandstone valley, was quiet when the warp beam cleared. Jasper wasted no time. She lead the way, testing their resolve by seeing if they could keep up with her. But Tourmaline and the others kept pace. Even though Steven knew that it was a bad habit, Tourmaline's eyes couldn't resist his need to look up at the injectors hiding under a cover of snow. Her amber eyes were scanning, looking for what he always did. A confirmation for the sinister feeling that settled like a dark ooze in the pit of his stomach every time he visited a kindergarten.

For the first time, he saw what he had been looking for. It made Tourmaline slow down so that she was taking up the rear with Amethyst and Connie. In their mind, he felt Peridot give in to him. Her heart was bare to him, no walls to shield it, nowhere to hide it. It was there beating, and it was vulnerable. He had asked a silent question, and she knew she had the answer. When he saw the injectors through Tourmaline's eyes, he didn't just see them on the walls of this valley; he saw them on many other valleys. The names came with them. They were delta, gamma, epsilon, and theta. All of them had eventually fallen silent as this place was. Steven had known as a rough notion of why he hated coming to kindergartens, but through Peridot he could see what was known but never shown. He could see the slow death of something that was currently alive. Peridot had actually stood on the soil as her machines had choked the last breath out of the land. She had been there to listen to the last whisper that it ever created before falling into an eternal stillness. And when the whisper was gone, lost on a dry wind, Peridot had felt nothing. She was empty. Now she felt a lot of things.

Tourmaline whispered to herself, "I'll make it right, Steven. I'll find a way."

Amethyst, overhearing Tourmaline talk to herself but not hearing exactly what they had said, looked back at them with a teasing smile. Connie had heard them too, her lips twitched in a slight frown, but she kept her face forward and hugged the strap of Rose's scabbard to her chest instead.

Jasper came to a stop in front of the open entrance shaft. The tunnel, a steeply inclined ramp, led to the main door of the facility. Steven and Peridot had once slid down the Prime's tunnel like a slide when there wasn't a robonoid to act as an elevator. But that tunnel had only led to the Prime's backup crystal generator. Where they were headed, and where the Era 1 would be, was the primary facility that was used for the entire gem creation process. The facility contained a local database, multiple labs for robonoid construction, manufacturing bays where the Bismuth's would create the injectors, and storage depots where both the injectors and the gem goo would be stored until use.

Jasper peered down into the tunnel as if looking over the top of a dark well and Pearl was already turning on a beam of light from her gem. Garnet approached Jasper and this time Tourmaline could see that the fusion carried Sapphire's serenity. Something must have changed since the spat on the beach. The future must have become sharper or different.

"Jasper," Garnet said.

Jasper threw her a quick glance, "What?" Then, she went back to contemplating the tunnel that could be filled with ten different traps.

Garnet pursed her lips, "I wish there was a better way to do this."

Jasper turned to her again, this time her annoyance clearly showing, "What are you going on about?"

To everyone's disbelief, Garnet planted a quick peck to Jasper's cheek. Jasper reared back appalled and disgusted but in the next moment her face went slack, and her brow released its hard line as the future visions flipped over her eyes. Garnet preferred to tell the future, and even that was limited to what she thought you could either handle or needed to know. She never granted the ability to anyone else except to Steven that he had known about. Even those times were rare. There was a stunned silence while Jasper saw what Garnet wanted her to see.

Coming out of it, Jasper lurched forward and shook her head. There was a somber look on her face.

"Understand?" Garnet asked her.

Jasper's mouth became a thin straight line; she nodded, "Alright."

Pearl coughed.

Amethyst, who had started with only a smile, had now grown it to an open-mouthed grin that was barely big enough to hold the bellowing cackle that she let explode from her chest at last, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GARNET KISSED JASPER!"

Connie was looking away, hiding a smile behind curling fingers, but a giggle still managed to escape. Peridot was immensely intrigued by what Garnet could have shown Jasper or why, but Tourmaline couldn't help herself either. She giggled next to Connie. "Nyeh hee hee hee."

Garnet slowly leveled her shades at all of them. Amethyst stopped, and Connie cleared her throat.

"Heh...heh…" Tourmaline brushed a hand through her amber locks, "Hrrrmmm…"

Jasper grunted, "I'll go first. Keep steady with that light…" She sighed the next word, "Pearl."

The orange gem jumped into the entrance shaft and slid down with Pearl close behind her. Amethyst and Garnet followed. Tourmaline stepped up, and Connie was beside her grimacing uncomfortably at the drop.

"What's with all the heights lately?" Connie muttered.

_Technically it isn't a vertical drop._

_Be nice._

Tourmaline summoned her shield and morphed it into a flat tower shield. She dropped it in front of her so that it hovered in the tunnel. She turned and held out her hand to the girl at her side. Connie looked at her hand and then down at the floating board. She relented with a reluctant smile and took Tourmaline's hand.

"Thanks."

Hand in hand, side by side, they rode the shield down like an elevator toward the bottom of the shaft. Peridot's gem lit up the tunnel for them revealing smooth layers of rock. Tourmaline reached up with her free hand and skimmed her fingers along as they descended.

_Sandstone. Now, siltstone. Now, limestone. Now…_

Tourmaline gasped as they came to the end of the tunnel.

"Whoa," Connie said in quiet awe.

At the end of the tunnel was a massive metal blast door, one in which Jasper was eyeing with skepticism, most likely trying to gauge if she could pry it open or charge through it. Garnet and Pearl were watching to see which she would decide. Regardless, Amethyst was waiting for a good show. But that wasn't what had caught both pairs of eyes. At the end of the cavern, the grey rock that surrounded the door glittered at the touch of Tourmaline and Pearl's beams of light. Anywhere they would look was a light show of sparkling crystal in the dark.

Tourmaline leaned over to Connie and whispered, "Quartzite,"

"It's so pretty."

A warmth emerged in Tourmaline's chest. It began to sink lower and lower as her thoughts returned to the events of the night before, "Strong too." She added with a soft hum.

Connie chuckled. She was too distracted by the shimmering pattern of crystal to notice the flirtatious tilt of the fusion's smirk or the hand that went to pet the gem in her stomach. "You  _are_  a nerd." Connie concluded.

"Mmhmm."

They reached the bottom and stepped off of the shield. Tourmaline called it to her hand and poofed it. Jasper stood frustrated with whatever her mind had made up about what to do with the door. She looked to Tourmaline, her answer to the problem.

"I'll take a look. No promises," Tourmaline said.

She went over to the door's lock panel, and a screen lit up at her presence. The first thing she tried was Peridot's access codes. No surprise that they didn't work. The Era 1 was no amateur. She had changed them already. Hacking it was an option, but the security on the main entrance doors wasn't a joke. Why hadn't she thought to bring her tablet? Tourmaline lifted the panel off the frame it was set in revealing a tangle of wires. But that action had been from Steven. Peridot could name all the cables, where they went and what they were connected to but it didn't matter. She couldn't just clip one. She informed him that if anything, they needed the opposite; they needed a certain signal to be to sent through the yellow wire labeled R76A. That signal could only be sent from the panel that he had just pulled off the wall, the one that refused to take even one order from them. They were a bunch of outsiders to it, for all its screen could tell. Peridot might as well not be a Kindergartener if she didn't have the codes it requested.

Well, there had to be something they could do. Tourmaline reached in, and Peridot sat back and let Steven fumble around inside searching for some secret key or a big switch that said OPEN. She'd rather rack her brain for the actual solution. Besides, what Steven was doing made them look like they had it all figured out. It would give her time to think without receiving yet another guttural noise that issued from Jasper's throat to vocalize her displeasure. Tourmaline pulled her hand back, and as she did, she brushed a wire. Goosebumps ran all the way up her back and her scalp tingled as if she had received a shock but without the sting.

"Do that again." Tourmaline said to herself.

"Do what?" Jasper asked.

Amethyst shushed her and spoke low, "That's how they do. Let em' alone."

"Sounds cracked," Jasper replied, but this time her voice was lower.

Tourmaline ignored them. Steven guided her hand back to where they had felt the jolt, and as their fingers passed across the yellow wire, they felt it again. The sensation was like the one they had felt at the beach with the robonoids. When she had sent the bolts of lightning through them, she could feel the energy as if it were a part of her body. When she touched this wire, she felt connected to it. The mechanism on the other end was nothing but another hand or foot.

Tourmaline grabbed the wire and whispered, "Open," and like blinking her own eye, she sent the signal herself instead of the panel. The metal blast door started to grind open. Tourmaline sucked in a breath. She smiled. It had worked.

_You're a genius too._

_Nah, I just jump in and hope for the best._

Tourmaline turned to look at the others, still with a grin on her face and expecting a cheer or round of applause. Instead, all of them were staring at what was past the door. When she rounded back to see what had frozen them all, her look of horror joined them. Behind this door, to Peridot's knowledge, was the main chamber. It was massive. Enough to comfortably house a few hundred gems if they stood shoulder to shoulder. Three corridors branched off. One to the north, west, and east, making the chamber form a T junction facing away from the door. Inside that main chamber, gems, if they could be called that anymore, were indeed standing almost shoulder to shoulder. There was possibly less than three hundred, but maybe there was more if you counted each gem fused mutant as multiples. Their misshapen forms had been sitting in the dark behind this door for who knows how long. They hadn't been doing anything except standing, staring(if they had eyes) into the darkness with nothing in their minds. But the light strips that ran the whole length of the chamber had flickered on when Tourmaline had opened the door. As if some madly stitched conductor had gotten in front of this mutated horror show of an orchestra, they all heard the tapping of his baton and swung in unison to face the Crystal Gems. The show was about to start. And now their minds were no longer empty. It was filled with one high note.

_KILL_

Tourmaline felt a step back, but she saw Jasper rocket into the room in a flash of burning white light. Her spin-charge mowing down a line of mutants. Everyone but Tourmaline summoned their weapons, the  _shing_  of Rose's sword being pulled came from beside her. Everyone but Tourmaline rushed to meet the shambling and crawling mutants. Tourmaline swallowed. Peridot had forgotten that Homeworld had stored the backup samples in the Beta storage depot. These mutants were supposed to be unformed shards in containment. The Era 1 had broken them all out and dumped them in this room to protect her.

"...I'm sorry. I owe it to all of you to put you to rest." Tourmaline said.

Garnet charged forward and fired her gauntlets into a clump of mutants sending them scattering and poofing. In one fluid motion, she resummoned them and brought them up to block the next attack of another gem that had charged her. Then she landed a punch underneath its swinging arm. One by one, two by two they came at her. She predicted where each one would be, and her gauntlet would always be there to meet them. Block, Strike, Block, Strike. Two-handed 360-degree swing and all the mutants around her exploded in a coordinated poof.

Pearl, one foot stepping in front of the other in a line like a dance, plunged her spear forward. Her movements were so graceful that it appeared the gems themselves were all running to fall on its tip so they could be apart of her performance. She ducked a swing, flipped around, rose and lunged forward. Poof gone. Swung the spear around and spun to another direction meeting the chest of yet another actor rushing to her stage. Poof gone. Now the tip was pointed outward toward her audience, and she fired its fireworks of energy blasts into the front row of mutants charging at her.

Amethyst followed Jasper's spin dash lead. She slammed into the nearest group of gems and lashed the first one she saw with her whip. A swing, the tails cracked. Poof. The gem was gone. Another mutant hit her, and she just laughed throwing her weight right back into it and shouldering it back. She leaped into the air and landed down on it elbow first poofing it underneath the move. A stitched arm mutant crawled on her when she landed. It grappled with her on the ground, and she grunted with a smile throwing it on its back and getting on top of it. She smashed down, and it poofed underneath her fists. Amethyst stood up and locked hands giving the next mutant to come at her a double-fisted hammer punch.

Connie followed closely to Pearl and let the gems come to her just as her mentor was doing. Duck, move low, bring the blade up against the mutant's chest. Poof. Sidestep a heavy arm that lugged its blow down to the floor. She brought the edge down on that arm slicing it clear in half. Poof. There was an opponent behind her, twist, dodge, face them, thrust forward and twist. Gone. Pearl and Connie stood back to back locked in a dance, swinging and thrusting.

Tourmaline entered the fray summoning her shield. She wasn't grace nor power she was a rush. That wild surge to let go came so easily to her. It's excitement played down her arm in amber sparks, her eyes flickering with electric glee. In the next moment, she was running her twitching fingers over an orb of frantic energy that begged her to be released. She marched forward to the mutants running, shambling, and crawling their way to them, and released that orb. It stretched out into a cracking line that split the air with heat and slammed into a hunched over gem running upside down on hands instead of feet. With a flick of her wrist, the bolt bounced and hit several other stitched monsters.

Tourmaline raised her shield as a big brute of a gem slammed its fist down toward her with the only arm it had. The blow connected and the energy crackling off of the fusion's arm flowed down into the shield and through the gem on the other side. Poof. Another mutant filled the brute's place almost instantly. Tourmaline threw up her hand as if to say stop and as soon as her palm touched what could be called its chest, she let the energy slide off her arm. The gem convulsed underneath with resistance before poofing away. A gem appeared behind her. She swung around catching its bulbous head with the blunt edge of her shield. An arm attached to its stomach swung up in an uppercut. Tourmaline grabbed the fist and used it as a grounding rod. Boom. Gone. Another charged at her and then another. She sidestepped one lunge, then kicked the other mutant. She let the surge flow down her leg launching the gem back with a shock. She threw a punch and electrocuted the first, then threw a bolt at the second. Poof Poof. Both were gone.

But she stepped back. There were so many. More than she had realized. Tourmaline poofed her shield and started throwing bolt after amber bolt out of each hand trying to thin their numbers. One shot for the mutant behind Amethyst. Then two more shots for two more gems that were diving toward Garnet. Connie was getting grabbed. Can't risk her conducting the energy. Oh, good. Pearl got it. Then one more shot for the scorpion looking thing wiggling its ten arms toward her on the ground. Ugh.

The crowd of mutants would swell up like a wave and then diminish as they were put down by the swing of Connie's sword or Pearl's spear thrusts. Tourmaline could see Jasper's handiwork. Every so often a mutant would be sent into the air and land with a poof.

In the middle of the chaos, the light strips in the main chamber began flashing between their normal color and a blood red.

"WARNING: MAIN REACTOR EXCEEDING RECOMMENDED PARAMETERS."

Tourmaline could barely hear it over the sounds of battle and the moans, groans, and roars of the mutants. She was looking all around for the speaker that was blaring it as if by finding it she could demand answers. She had felt the Era 1 in the lower levels of this facility using her aura. The reactor was down there on the lowest level. It had to be her. Peridot was quickly trying to pull together a theory in Tourmaline's head. Nothing in this facility could draw that much power. Not enough to exceed the very generous power budget that the reactor could produce. That, after all, was its intent. To provide never-ending energy to a self-reliant facility.

Jasper was making her way toward Tourmaline, punching, throwing, and headbutting anything that got into her way. Right before she reached her, the blast door for the northern corridor, one that had been shut until now, began to cycle open slowly. Jasper reached her and grabbed Tourmaline's arm. The fusion looked down at her hand and then back to what was behind the northern door. Another swarm of abominations were throwing themselves through it to replenish their numbers.

Jasper turned, a hand still on Tourmaline's arm, to look back at Garnet. Garnet shouted over the mutants that were surrounding them, "Now!"

Jasper nodded and pulled Tourmaline toward the eastern tunnel that was open and free of gems, "We have to go. The seer showed me they win this."

Tourmaline snatched her arm back, "I'm not leaving them!" She looked back. The mutant reinforcements had swelled their numbers so that she couldn't even manage to make out where the others were. She could only hear the sound of their battle, the swinging of Rose's sword.

Jasper grabbed her shoulder and spun the fusion around to face her, "If you don't make it down to the reactor to fix it, then we're all going to be shards! I saw that much. Now c'mon!"

The reactor itself. 8LG planned to overload it, but by Peridot's knowledge that would take out this entire facet. It would destroy them all...even 8LG herself. There was no time to figure out why she would want that. Tourmaline threw a few more bolts of lightning to help the battling Crystal Gems, but she couldn't tell if it had really helped. She had to go. She and Jasper ran down the eastern hall.

The roars and growls of the mutants at their back began to fall away. She was now leading Jasper, turning down this corridor and that. Peridot held the blueprints of Kindergarten design in her head showing her where to go. They passed long stretches of plated glass in which injector forge rooms were behind. They would be coming up on another central chamber. It connected to the lift that could take them down to the reactor room.

The only sound was their feet pounding on the green metal plated floor. The battle was now far behind them. Jasper had told her that this was Garnet's plan all along, but she hated leaving them behind. They were coming up on the chamber, but the blast door was closed. They stopped in front of it.

"Hurry up with it," Jasper commanded.

Tourmaline took a look at the panel. It wasn't locked. She simply pressed the open button on the touchscreen. It started to slide open. Jasper cocked her head at the fusion.

"You're better than even the Era 1's I've seen."

Tourmaline smirked, "It wasn't locked, but your compliment is noted."

Jasper muttered something, and they turned to see what was awaiting them. In the next room, standing guard in front of the hallway that led to the lift was the biggest mutant that Tourmaline had ever seen. It had to be at least half the size of Alexandrite. Four giant blinking eyes in its chest narrowed at them. Two large stitched arms on either side ended in knuckle-dragging fists that were the size of Jasper closed. It stood balanced on three legs like a tripod.

They entered the room, Jasper in a wide stance and Tourmaline with her hands raised. The fusion let out a dual blast of lightning that zipped down her arms and joined into one large bolt that clapped through the air and struck the mutant in the gut. It didn't poof. She had just made it very angry. It rushed her first and backhanded her with a hand bigger than her whole body. Tourmaline went skidding across the floor and flipping a few times before she came to a stop. She groaned and lifted her head in time to see the mutant bring its fist down on top of Jasper. To her disbelief, the quartz caught it above her head and held it back as the gem monster heaved its weight down on top of her. Jasper got a grip on the fist with both her hands and tugged, wrestling the beast down to the ground on its side. The monster's other hand swung down and caught Jasper in the back, but it only sent her sliding back and not across the room as it had her.

Jasper looked to Tourmaline, "Go! This was meant to slow us down."

Tourmaline got up, and the ache of being thrown was already beginning to heal. Steven started to ignore the order and help, but Peridot reminded him that they didn't have long. Jasper was right. They had to get down there. 8LG wasn't going to step back and let them fix everything. Jasper was throwing her shoulder into the monster's leg sending it back down on its back foot as Tourmaline ran for the hallway and the elevator she could see at the end.

Tourmaline got into the lift and slammed the button for down. The last thing she saw behind the closing doors was Jasper being tossed against the wall. The fusion sighed and hugged herself.

"It's going to be okay. It's going to be alright. No one is getting shattered. Garnet saw it," She whispered to herself. Inside Tourmaline, Steven and Peridot squeezed each other tighter. It was unnaturally quiet in the elevator, except for the whirring of it taking them deeper into the facility. She dreaded what she would find when the doors slid open. 8LG would be there. She would have to face her again. She knew plenty about the reactor, but she had never repaired one. Maybe Steven would pull them out of that one too. Peridot hoped.

The lift came to a stop. It opened. There was one long tube that led straight to the reactor room and to nowhere else. At the end of the tube was a door thick enough to be a vault door, but it was controlled like the others with a panel and had a window of thick glass built into the top half. Tourmaline ran down the tube. Streams of pink and violet light spilled out of the window at the end of the hall, evidence that the reactor core was breaking down. She pushed open on the panel and stepped inside.

The room itself was a dome, and the reactor was a pillar of light that was contained behind glass and controlled by a core in the middle of the room. 8LG stood in front of screens and a terminal. She turned to face them.

"I don't want to fight you," Tourmaline said.

8LG laughed, "In a few Earth minutes...you won't be doing anything. The cluster will destroy everything."

Tourmaline's eyes widened. She wasn't concerned with bombing this facet. The Beta Kindergarten was right above the cluster, and the reactor was already on the lowest level. The explosion that the reactor would create would be enough to destroy the bubble keeping it from forming. With the bubble gone, it would form and...

"...Why are you doing this? There's no way of getting off the planet. You'll be shattered with all of us." Tourmaline inched forward. "Please, let me help you."

The Era 1 grinned, "You already have." The gleam in her eyes as she said it disturbed Tourmaline, "You don't know how much you helped me when you almost corrupted me."

"What? The corruption?" Tourmaline held out her hand, "I'm so sorry. I never meant to do that. I didn't want to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me," She said, "You freed me. When I felt the corruption rising, I felt...me...finally go away. What was me. And for the first time, I was free. I was free of the pain. I was free of the memories of the never-ending darkness in that cave. I was free of my hate. All the hate I feel for Jasper. For those gems that abandoned me. And the hate that I feel for the Homeworld that left me there." She pointed her gloved finger at Tourmaline, "And you took it away if only for a moment. I want that again. I know what the problem is now." Her eyes were glossy in her helmet, "It's me, and I want it gone."

"Jasper tried to save you. I saw it with my power. I could connect the two of you and show you myself. She tried!"

"No!" The tears were streaming now, "She never came for me. She said it herself. Thought I was shards! I AM! THAT'S ALL THAT IS LEFT!"

Tourmaline took another step forward, "But you hate Homeworld. Why are you doing this for them?"

8LG straightened up and sniffled giving Tourmaline a weak smile. She reached toward her gem and summoned her weapons. Two green chakrams. She gripped the handles in the middle of the circular blades and held them crossed over her chest, "I think Jasper put it best. What are we without the Diamonds? I'll tell you," She said, "What I am. Nothing."

Tourmaline summoned her shield with spikes. Their sharp edges glinted in the reactor's pink glow. She begged her softly, "Don't make me do this." Amber lightning crackled off of her body, and she lowered into a combat stance, her shield hand angled behind her to throw it.

"This is what you all want!" 8LG screamed and sent the chakrams at her into a deadly spin. Tourmaline's hand went up into an arc throwing the shield at the Era 1. Her body followed the movement of her throw, and she lifted herself up off the ground going into a spin. As she twisted in the air, the chakrams passed over and underneath her. She landed in time to see one of the spikes of her shield tear through the side of 8LG's suit.

Tourmaline and 8LG shot their hands toward each other. Tourmaline realized that they were doing the same thing too late. The moment her shield returned to her hand, 8LG had already directed the chakrams to change their course, and both of them had landed into the fusion's back. Tourmaline bent forward and howled in pain wearing the blades like the nubs of sheared angel wings. With a flick of her hands, 8LG lifted the chakrams out of her.

The fusion staggered to the side and caught herself. The Era 1 sent the blades swirling again, and Tourmaline held up her shield catching both of them against it. But it didn't stop them. Whipping her arms and hands around, 8LG sent the chakrams to attack from all angles. They spun and buzzed near her. Tourmaline blocked one from one side, but the other one would always nick her where she was exposed. She had to run from them, and she threw up her bubble.

8LG cackled, "Trapped! HOW DOES IT FEEL?!"

Tourmaline felt her regeneration take over, the wounds in her back and the cuts of her physical form slowly healing. The chakrams hissed and slammed against the bubble walls. 8LG could keep this up for as long the reactor would need to overload. They needed a new strategy. There was only one of them, and they couldn't avoid the chakrams and damage the suit at the same time. They would have to do this together. There was an amber explosion that caused the bubble to drop. 8LG squinted to see through it.

Peridot and Steven, who was barefoot, stood side by side.

8LG smiled, "Good. One of you can watch the other die." She raised her hands and brought them down sending the chakrams into a spin, one aimed for each of them.

Peridot raised her hands, and the chakrams froze in mid-air obeying a new master. Steven summoned his shield with spikes and threw it at the unguarded Era 1. 8LG, stunned to see her weapons bow to an Era 2, stumbled forward as the shield caught her on the other side. It slashed through her armor. Steven's connected his aura to Peridot. Through it, he sent her what to do next as if they were still fused.

Both in synch, Steven charged toward the Era 1, while Peridot swept her hands down commanding the chakrams to impale themselves into the metal floor. Peridot ran after Steven, both of them headed toward 8LG as she tried in vain to lift her weapons from the steel before they reached her. Steven slid to a stop and turned as Peridot leaped into his arms throwing up an amber cloud of light in front of the Era 1's eyes. Out of the cloud, a pair of yellow hands reached for 8LG, grabbing both her sides where the suit had been cut open. She stared with amazement into their amber eyes. Then, the lightning hit her. Her whole body convulsed in her suit, and she held onto the fusion as if she might fall but was unable to let go.

Tourmaline caught her, putting a hand on the small of her back and the other on the back of her helmet as she went limp.

"I'm sorry," She whispered to 8LG.

8LG's head lolled back. She gave the fusion a faint smile with half-lidded eyes, "...No...th-th-thank you," She breathed.

Tourmaline watched the peridot's physical form poof. She laid the empty suit of armor down on the floor and ejected the gem out of the chest piece. Then, she bubbled it and sent it back home.

The reactor core behind the glass pillar was shimmering with a hot red and pink. They didn't have long to figure this out. Tourmaline approached the terminal and soon the screens filled with all types of information in gem language. She sifted through everything that it was telling her. There was no way to shut it down now. The core was powering itself into instability. Even the emergency procedures to extinguish the core would have needed to have been activated at least ten minutes ago to have worked.

Tourmaline thought of the other gems. There wasn't anything any of them could do. Garnet could probably tell them how long they had left until they became nothing but a crater for the cluster to crawl out of. She looked around the chamber. The reactor room wasn't meant to contain such an explosion. The metal shielding she could drop over the plate glass to cover the reactor would do nothing to slow it. What could they do? If only they could bubble it like the cluster. But a bubble that big? That strong? There wasn't a way to make one like that. They popped easily. Tourmaline leaned against the terminal and rested her forehead on her arms. It wasn't just them that would die. The whole planet. Everyone would be gone. Everything that Rose had fought to protect. Everything they had fought to protect. It would all be gone.

Then, on the edge of Tourmaline's perception, a new idea formed. As she reached out to grasp onto it, Steven and Peridot defused.

Steven turned to Peridot.

"I have an idea, but we can't be in two places at once. You have to get up to the control room, and I'll use the aura to tell you what to do from there."

"Okay," She said at once and gave him a parting kiss.

Steven grabbed her before she left and pressed another kiss to her lips.

Peridot smiled, "I'll be safe. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried. I...just love you...so much."

"I love you too, Steven."

"Hurry...before…" He glanced back at the reactor and then down to the floor.

Peridot nodded and ran for the door. As soon as she left the reactor room, the door slammed closed behind her and locked. She froze and turned around to stare at it. Steven's voice came to her.

_Please, forgive me._

* * *

Peridot ran to the door and slammed her fists into it. Through the window, she could see a giant pink bubble surrounding the reactor. Inside, holding it up, was Steven. No bubble was strong enough to hold the power of the detonation except maybe his own bubble shield, and he could only create those around himself.

She was shaking her head, throwing the tears that were now forming off of her cheeks, her face contorted into a wordless cry. He couldn't leave her. He couldn't do this for them. He was Earth. If it was still standing after he did this, it wouldn't matter. How could she live here without him? Anywhere? How could she live anywhere without him now? She slammed both her fists down on the door over and over.

_I don't forgive you! I don't forgive you! Idontforgiveyou! Idontforgiveyou! Idontforgiveyou!_

Peridot's stopped. Her assault on the door doing nothing, barely even rattling the metal. Steven was the strong one. Her chest was seizing with a sob, and she let it out with a long wail. She knew Steven had heard her through the link, but instead of changing course, he sat down cross-legged with his back to her in the bubble and held out of his hands to keep it steady. She rushed to the door panel and tried to open it. It wouldn't respond. He hadn't changed the codes. She felt it now, like remembering something she had forgotten, a betrayal of her own mind. Steven had taken from her, the moment before they defused, the knowledge on how to put the room into lockdown. She hadn't realized it before. In lockdown, the door wouldn't budge until the reactor was no longer unstable. There was nothing she could do from the outside. She knew this, but she pressed buttons and tried different commands in a daze refusing to believe that this was really happening. She would get in there. She would. She would convince him to stop this, and they would come up with something. They always did. He said they always would. No one would ever have to be shattered. Steven said it. Her tears were dripping onto the screen, and she stopped trying to open the door holding the panel with both hands to steady herself.

Then, she heard the elevator behind her; it was coming down. She spun around and held a hand to her chest gripping tightly at the fabric of her uniform. The lift doors slid open, and Jasper stepped out. She was slightly bruised from her fight with the mutant giant. She raised an eyebrow when she saw Peridot crying and trembling at the other end of the hall. There was a flash of annoyance that crossed her face.

"Jasper! You have to help me!"

Jasper hurried down the hall and ignored her. Instead, she looked into the reactor room for the answers she wanted. She only found more questions. She turned an unsteady gaze down to the trembling gem beside her.

"Where is 8LG?"

"Poofed...bubbled."

"What is Steven doing in there?"

"You have to...you have to...help me…"

She growled, "Pull yourself together. I can't help you if you're a slobbering mess."

Peridot's chest was jumping with tears, and she tried to calm herself by holding her breath, but every time she did the sob still managed to break out, "Steven...bubble...the reactor. To save us from...Cluster. He's going...going...to die…"

Jasper slowly turned her eyes away from Peridot to look at Steven behind the glass. Peridot watched anxiously at Jasper's eyes darting to different parts of the room. She waited for Jasper to grunt out the next plan of action, to tell her she had seen something like this before in the war and she knew how to handle it, that Peridot needed to tell Steven the new plan right away. Instead, she put her hand on the door, bowed her head, and said, "I respect his sacrifice."

"...What?" Peridot stumbled over the word.

Jasper's brow wrinkled, "I fought with countless soldiers during the war, but none of them were like Steven. Very few know what it is like to pay the price that he does now. To willingly go to your death. They were all filled with useless fear. Fighting by design and not for vision. Steven has more quartz in him than I've seen in a full Era 1. You should be thankful. He's doing this for his kind."

Jasper's words ripped her right out of her daze. She brought her small fists down on Jasper's arm, "Thankful?! You don't understand! You've never understood! He's not just doing this for everyone on Earth. He's doing this for us. He's doing it for me. For you. He cares about what we want! But who's going to care about what he wants?! He doesn't want to die in there alone! Haven't you listened to anything Steven has said?! Anything that he's tried to show you! One life matters. Not just the whole! His life matters!"

Jasper shoved Peridot off of her, but she went silent. Peridot fell against the door and looked through the glass to Steven. It was hard to tell what color the reactor was through the pink tint of Steven's bubble. But she knew it wouldn't be long now.

"What I want," Jasper muttered the words to herself. She formed it as if frustrated with a question, bitter at the answers that came immediately to mind. There was a weariness too. One that had come from being hounded by such a question. She looked to where Peridot was staring; she looked to Steven, "I don't want him to die." She finally answered. It seemed to surprise her more than it surprised Peridot beside her. Jasper stared at a spot in the air as if the words she had just said had ejected themselves from her mouth and were floating there. She wanted to inspect them, see something that was uniquely hers. She must have seen something because she suddenly looked angry as if she had been insulted but hadn't realized it until this very moment. Jasper started to back up. Peridot turned and watched her run back toward the elevator. For a moment she thought that the orange gem would get into it and ride it to the top leaving her to watch Steven die alone. Instead, what she saw made her get clear of the door.

Jasper summoned her helmet and tucked into herself spinning forward in place with a blur. Her spin picked up speed and power shredding and denting the metal panels of the floor. She let herself go taking off like a burning comet toward the reactor door. She slammed into it making the door rattle, but to Peridot's horror, the door didn't budge. Jasper threw her head back and slammed her helmet into the glass, but it wasn't breaking. Peridot was right beside her, hands up, trying to tug at the massive hunk of metal with her mind. Jasper clawed at the door trying to find a groove, anywhere she could put her fingers and pull so she could rip it down. Nothing they did would make it give.

Inside, the reactor whined, and the humming became so loud that they could hear it through the bubble and the vault door. The core started to break down and pull itself apart, but Steven sat still and silent within the bubble. The reactor room beyond it grew dark. Peridot had seen a blackness that deep behind glass before. A darkness that consumed; and the pink light of Steven's bubble fighting against it was a dying star.

Peridot went limp against the door and put her hand on the glass that kept her from him.

_I forgive you. I love you._

Before the blast went off, before the energy ballooned in Steven's shield, before she heard the muffled explosion, Steven's voice called back to her.

_I love you too. Always._

Jasper and Peridot watched as Steven rose up defiantly and raised his hands. The reactor bloomed, blossoming and dying all at the same time. Peridot cried out as the silhouette of his body beyond the pink shell was torn apart piece by piece withering into nothing. The pieces of him scattered like the petals of pink blossoms disintegrating in the wind. Peridot felt the link, the chord that connected their hearts, fall away. His aura faded. She crumpled to the floor as if that chord has been holding her upright and the moment it snapped all her strength left her. She was resigned to whatever fate awaited her. Jasper took a step back as the shield swelled in an attempt to keep the energy inside. Steven was gone. But the bubble was not. It shrank into itself and suffocated the reactor's blast. It held it at bay and protected them until the shield was nothing more than a small floating orb in the smoke. Then it was gone, winking out of existence. They were plunged into darkness. Into complete silence. The power was out. It had worked. And Steven Universe was no more.

Peridot sat, and Jasper stood in the darkness, not moving or speaking. There was a click and a gentle hum. The backup crystal generator had kicked on. The lights returned. With the reactor gone, the lockdown Steven initiated ended. The reactor door slid open, and a plume of black smoke poured out into the hall. Peridot and Jasper couldn't see anything, but it didn't stop them from entering. The light strips of the room flickered on. Peridot didn't need to see. She knew exactly where to go, where Steven had stood. A quartz's hardness wasn't enough to sustain an explosion of that magnitude. She knew that, but it didn't matter. It wasn't reason or logic that guided her anymore. She stumbled her way through the fog left behind. Her foot kicked something hard. It clinked and rolled a few feet away from her with a soft drumming sound. It was impossible! But she was already trembling with a terrified excitement. Peridot fell to her hands and knees and patted around in the direction where she had sent it with her foot. She felt it. Something large. Her heart spiraled into despair. It was too big to be a quartz gem. This couldn't be it. Peridot wrapped her hands around it and tugged it out of the smoky mist.

She almost dropped it when she saw what it was. She was holding a pink diamond. No, not a diamond.  _The Pink Diamond_. Peridot fell back hard on her butt, but her mind continued to pat around in the fog grasping nothing. It went unsteadily on without her, stumbling and fumbling as she cradled the diamond in her arms and squeezed it rocking back and forth. It was him. It shouldn't be, but it was. The top of the gem, where she liked to pet, was him. She knew every inch with her fingers. But her trembling hands went down farther. She didn't know these inches, the ones that curved down into a fine point, the inches that made it form a diamond.

The smoke was beginning to filter out into the hallway enough for Jasper to find Peridot. She located the green gem curled up on the floor rocking with something locked in her arms.

"Did he survive the blast? Not even a topaz could survive a thing like that but…" She glanced away then back to her, "What...what do you have there?"

_A Diamond. I have...a Diamond. Steven is Pink Diamond._

Peridot didn't answer. She leaned forward covering the top of it from Jasper's view.

Jasper growled, "Is that his gem? Show me!"

Peridot shoved the pink diamond gemstone up to her, her eyes bemused and dull with the shock.

Jasper jerked back shielding herself with an arm as if the gem would attack her. Her eyes flitted over it and blinked, "No...no...that's impossible. That's...no." She swayed gently on her feet before collapsing to her knees in front of Peridot.

Jasper turned her face away as if she couldn't bear to look, tears pooling in her eyes. They sat that way for a long while: Jasper contemplating the walls that only stood because Steven had shielded them, and Peridot rocking back and forth.

Jasper gathered her courage and looked at the Diamond expecting to see quartz shards. When she saw that it was still Pink, the tears picked up again sliding down her face, "Why...didn't you tell me. Why?" She swallowed and issued a low tearful groan from the back of her throat, "That means...I fought...against you? You fought against the other Diamonds? You wanted to fight them? Why? I don't understand."

Peridot was still holding the diamond staring at it with vacant eyes. She put her fingers to it and stroked the smooth surface.

_Did you know? You couldn't have. A Diamond. But you said you loved me. You told me that we were equal._

Jasper held her head back and clutched at her chest as if something was tearing her apart from the inside, "I would have fought for you. I was made for you. I was on the wrong side…You only had to tell me what you wanted, and I would have followed."

Peridot hugged the gem to her chest and closed her eyes shaking with a small sob.

Jasper sat down across from Peridot and pawed with scraping fingers at the metal floor beside her, "You were trying to teach me something. You were trying to tell me. I wasn't listening. I didn't know it was you. If I had known."

Peridot buried her tiny nose down against the gem as she held it against her face. Her tears were sliding down it.

Jasper turned her gaze from Steven's gem to Peridot as if the answers she was struggling with resided with her, "You. He fused with you. Pink fused with you. No one else but you."

Peridot raised her confused and sorrowful eyes to Jasper.

_Tourmaline. What did it all mean? I thought I knew you. I know nothing. Did I know Steven or Pink or Rose? What were these names? Do they mean anything different?_

"You're a Peridot. An Era 2. And a Diamond chose you. You, who are the lowest of our kind. A second class version of a gem belonging to the last rank of...wait..."

_I don't even know if you will come back to me. What can you say when you do? Will you even be Steven? Who were you? Who will you be?_

Peridot continued to watch Jasper with indifference, but Jasper's eyes were glowing with hope when she realized that she was looking at the answer.

Jasper stammered the next words out as if not believing them to come from her own mouth, "You're...you're the last of us," She breathed. Her eyes fell back to Steven's gem, "And the Diamond's are the first of us."

Jasper scrambled up, and she took a step back as if the diamond was a bomb that would go off. The look that the orange gem was now giving Peridot was one she had never seen pointed to her before. It was of reverence.

"White Sapphire was right, but it wasn't a fusion of the other Diamonds. She saw you. Your fusion...it's the Final Diamond. Pink  _must_  have known."

Jasper laughed in disbelief, and the sudden outburst made Peridot recoil. She was actually happy about all of this. The happier Jasper became, the more Peridot's anger boiled.

"The last era. I get to see it. My Diamond is alive. Pink is alive. And she will…" Jasper looked down at Peridot who was glaring at her, "No, both of you will lead us."

Jasper, suddenly mindful of the new presence she was in, dropped to one knee, "I was meant to be here. To learn the truth." She bowed her head, "I was created to serve both of you and serve what you bring to our kind." Jasper looked up at Peridot, "What are your orders my Diamond?"

Peridot, shuddering with rage, squeezed Steven's gem to her chest. She gritted her teeth, "Orders?" She whispered violently, "Orders? You want orders?"

Jasper nodded her head quickly but humbly, desperate for words that would give her clarity.

Peridot bared her teeth in a fanged grimace, "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" She screamed before bursting into tears. She flailed in all directions kicking her feet out and clutching onto the only semblance of what she knew in this world, "LEAVE US ALONE!"

End of Act 1


	18. A Bouquet of Black Roses

Act 2: The Last Era

_I love you too. Always._

The pink blossom that was the reactor had faded away. In its place, was a courtyard. A tree that Steven had never seen before was rooted in the center. The trunk appeared to be made of real wood but its leaves, if they could be called that, were spiraling ribbons of violet that twirled at the push of a breeze. He could see no branches. It was as if the trunk had curly hair. His feet were still bare, and he found himself subconsciously curling his toes in the grass. There was soft soil underneath. Surrounding the tree, past the grass, the rest of the courtyard was bordered in smooth stonework. He looked up, expecting to see a cool night sky, but a dome capped the courtyard. He supposed the tree didn't need sunlight. The walls, the floor, and the domed ceiling were all made out of the same tan cream-colored stone. If Peridot was here, she could have told him what it was made out of.

"I'm doing it. I'm going in. She can't stop me from seeing him."

The voice was floating down from the hall. Steven didn't see any other door or corridor in the courtyard beside the one. He stepped around the tree, brushing some of its hanging curls from his face. They were velvety and sprung in a cheerful dance when he pushed them aside. He stepped off the grass and onto the cool stone. The only sound in the hall was his bare feet patting on its smooth surface, but soon he heard the voice again. He could make it out now; it was Amethyst.

"Maybe you know what it's like to lose Rose—Pink, but I'm not losing Steven. It's been four days straight, and she hasn't left or let anyone in besides Greg. I'm going in there."

"And what is it exactly do you think you're going to do? Shake his gem and tell him to wake up? I wish you would think before you act. Honestly." Pearl's voice drifted after Amethyst's, both coming from farther down the hall. He turned a corner and continued on.

Orbs of glossy material like globs of yellow amber were embedded in the walls. They gave off a soothing yellow glow so that he could see. If Homeworld's surgical lighting style had an opposite, this was it. It was bioluminescent, living light. The walls that Steven was passing were chiseled with a vine design crafted right into the stonework. The vines ended into depictions of flowers or trees and then trailed off as vines once more. Above his head, hung in rows on either side of the hall, were pots of flowers and the farther he went, the more exotic they became. Flowers with prickles, some with fuzz like that of a dandelion, a kind that had polka dotted bulbs that reminded him too much of corruption. He shuffled past those quickly. Then more greenery, bluery, yellowery, all the colors of the rainbow in flowers. He had never seen anything as beautifully made as this place. It was as if a careful hand had sculpted this entire place out of one piece of clay. Their fingerprints could be seen in every illustration. He knew that every flower had been touched and groomed by that hand.

He turned another corner, and the path continued. At the end of the hall was a large set of double stone doors. It was cracked open, and a gentle light was spilling out of it. A different voice this time floated from behind it. Jasper's.

"I learned to go months without thinking of you. Now, I'm not so proud of that. I wish you were here, Soda. Pink is alive.  _My_  Diamond is the Final Diamond. The last era is here, and I've wanted to see what it's like for so long, now I'm afraid to see it without you."

Steven took his time walking to the end of the hall. There was a sense of peace that hung in the air. It was easier to breathe here as if his lungs did not even need to work to rise. At last, he reached the door. He put his hand to it feeling a warmth and heard a voice that made his heart ache. It was a gentle plea.

"If you can hear me. Come back to me." Peridot's voice hitched and issued a soft whine, "Just please come back to me."

Steven heaved his weight against the heavy stone slabs pushing both sides of the door wide open. On the far side of the room was a throne made out braids of twisted wood. Pink blossoms grew on the throne in sparse patches. Sitting in it was his mom. Rose Quartz. But at her feet, painted on the floor between them was a pink diamond.

Rose stood up as if she was the guest and he was the host. She had worn many titles, had been different things to different people. A rebel leader, a war hero, a traitor, and a lover. She had been many things to him too over the years as he had listened to the different sides. It was as if the painting in the living room wasn't two dimensional at all like you could pull it off the wall and from any way you looked, you'd see something different. He didn't know what was true anymore, so he stopped trying to find it. All that he knew now for certain was that she looked too nervous to be sitting on a throne.

"Steven...I've wanted to meet you for so long."

"Mom? Where am I?" He asked, his eyes turning down to the diamond, "Where are we?"

"This place...was where I was found. The most verdant part of Homeworld." Her eyes joined his looking at the diamond. "It's why it took so long for them to find me, why I was the last one to be found. We've always had a special connection with nature."

"Found? Homeworld? You were made on Earth. We're not really here. I know where we are...we're In my gem...I died."

"I'm so proud of you, and I'm so terribly sad for you."

Steven took a few steps toward her. She tested a few toward him too. "But you're real, aren't you?"

Rose nodded. He could tell she was just as nervous as he was. All this time, he had wanted to talk to her, to ask her so many questions. He didn't know where to start. She came closer, and the moment her feet fell on the pink diamond, she transformed in front of him to the gem that it belonged to. Pink Diamond was standing in front of him wearing the same nervous and slightly terrified look that Rose had just been wearing.

Steven jumped back and raised his arm to summon his shield, but it didn't come. Pink understood what he had tried to do and she seemed hurt. She bowed her head as if to answer for all the questions that he had for Rose, to answer that she was ashamed.

"Steven, Earth was my first colony. I saw its beauty just as you do. I tried to protect it, but the other Diamonds wouldn't listen to me. I had to make them listen, with Rose."

"No," His voice cracked, "No."

Tears trickled down Pink Diamond's cheeks. That one word hitting her like a decree of rejection. And he knew it then; It was her. The real rose. The real pink. The one behind the painting. His mom.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. I made a lot of mistakes. I never wanted you to pay for any of them. I did what I did so that you could live the life I could never have."

Steven closed his eyes, but the tears slipped through anyway, "You weren't shattered?"

"No," She said, "Pearl helped me fake it. I thought with Pink gone that Yellow and Blue would call the war off, that they would leave Earth alone. If Pink was gone, then there wouldn't be a last era. Maybe they would stop everything. Why take colonies for something that doesn't exist anymore? I could never have known what they would do next, but I am responsible for it. Not you."

Steven sat down on the stone floor and buried his face in his hands. Pink looked after him with worry. She took a few steps toward him, looked away, and covered her gem with her hands layering them one on top of the other. She looked to him desperately wanting to explain.

"I...I made Rose to stand up to the Diamonds, but I never could. I wasn't strong enough." She bowed her head, bits of pink fluff danged over her forehead

Pink made it the rest of the way and knelt down next to him. She went to wrap her arms around him as he sobbed, stopped and pulled back thinking better of it, and then finally she moved back and hugged him anyway. She smiled when he grabbed her back and held onto her.

"You should have seen 8LG, Mom."

"I did."

"She wanted to die. She wanted to kill herself. And then there's Jasper. I thought it was all about the Earth too. But there are so many gems out there that need help. Who's going to help them? The Diamonds, they're just going to keep doing what they are doing."

Pink squeezed him and ran a hand through his curls, "I know, but it's not your responsibility. I was the one that failed them."

Steven looked up at her and sniffed, "But you fought for them? At least you tried."

"Maybe I should have tried harder as Pink. Fought for them as Pink. Being Rose was just easier, when I didn't have to answer to the reputation of being a Diamond. I could just be me. But I abandoned those gems. I abandoned gems like Jasper. They needed me too."

Steven looked down at his shirt, afraid to pull it up and look, "I'm Pink Diamond."

Pink lowered her eyes and gave a small nod.

He wiped at his eyes and looked to her, "That means I can do something about it. I never wanted to fight, but I have to do something. I can't stand by."

His mom gave him a sad smile, "I know the feeling, but I never wanted that burden to fall on you. I never wanted you to be Pink Diamond. I never wanted to give you that responsibility. That's why I didn't want you to know, so that you could choose who you wanted to be."

He stood up with determination, and Pink got up with him, watching him with uncertainty at what he would do with it.

"I know now, and I choose to fight for them. I'll help them. Everyone. Even if that means stopping the other Diamonds."

Pink put a hand to his arm as if to hold him back from making a terrible mistake, "War is a hard price, Steven. Don't pay it so easily."

He frowned at her, "Who else will? Who else can?"

Pink turned away. She cupped her elbows with her hands and hugged herself. He could tell her eyes were on the throne, staring at it. He couldn't see her face, but he felt her contempt for it radiating off of her in waves. "White Sapphire saw no one else who could. Only you and Peridot."

"Me and...Peridot?"

Pink faced him, and she brightened up, "I see now why it's you and her. That experience, the one that Earth showed me, I could never bring to them. But you two will in the last era. I tried and failed, but you're human, Steven. You bring Earth with you everywhere you go." Her pink eyes sparkled at him with wonder as if he was her most brilliant flower, "They'll know anything is possible when they see your fusion. A love where even the first of our kind can love the last of us."

_When the last of us fuses with the first of us_

"... You're talking about the Final Diamond," Steven said slowly.

"Amber Diamond," Pink answered, her eyes gleaming with pride and leftover tears.

Steven put his hands on Pink's arms, "Mom, I have to get back. They need me there."

She put her hands on his arms and patted gently, and looked as if she might cry again, "I know," She said, her voice almost squeaking.

"...Can I? I'm not made of light like gems. I'm human."

Pink moved to stand beside him and wrapped her arm around him. She waved the other hand out, "This place is the key. It was my home on Homeworld. The rest of the planet eventually became barren of life except this patch. At my request, no one was permitted to disturb it, and so they never put a kindergarten here." She frowned, "I left it when I began my colony on Earth. I returned to Homeworld only to beg Blue and Yellow to see what I saw, but they couldn't. I came back here that very night. All of my plants were dead. The waters were dried up. My throne had rotted into nothing."

Steven thought of Pink returning like that. And the image came to him more like a memory. She was drifting through the halls, dragging her feet, listening to them scrape against the stone. Her small pixie face lowered and squeezed together in dejection. Pink's eyes came up. The violet ribbon tree was completely bald. She rushed over to it and threw her arms around its sulking tree trunk. She gripped it and cried against the wood. The sanctuary was quiet and still. Then, another thought that followed sent her stumbling back. That thought carried her, running, down the hall that Steven had walked. She turned the corner, and her mouth fell open.

"Oh, no," She whispered, seeing each plant in its pot twisted and withered. She ran with tears in her eyes and threw open the stone doors. The throne's braids were gnarled reaching up to the ceiling as if grasping out for help. The pink blossoms were dead.

Steven looked to Pink, and there was a single tear that fell from her cheek. With her arm still around him, she squeezed him close and looked down at him, "That's when I realized that I was only the reason that it had survived at all. My power. My connection with life that I've had since I was born from the soil, now that one you have, was what held it all together. Just like this little green patch of life on Homeworld. I was the only patch amongst the Diamonds. I wish I could have done more as Pink or as Rose."

Steven hugged her, "You did the best you could. I wish you wouldn't have lied about who you were, but you tried to do the right thing."

Pink hugged him back and rested her cheek against his shoulder, "You have such a good heart. I love you, Steven."

"I love you too, Mom."

"I was only able to have you because of my connection to life. I was able to grow and cultivate life, and I was able to grow you and your life." Pink pulled back to look at him, "The Diamond will reform you, grow you back. You'll be human again. And human is what they need, Steven. I've seen you struggling to keep it. You're friends. How lonely you were. How you'll outlive them. I know it's hard but hang onto your humanity. It's what makes you special. It's what will save you and everyone else. That's why you'll succeed where I failed."

His lip trembled, and he felt his eyes well up again, "I wish you could come with me."

"Me too," She brushed his hair like the petals of a delicate flower.

"How do I go back?"

Pink kissed his cheek and gave him another squeeze. She held out an open hand that was pointed to the pink blossom throne as if bestowing a terrible gift, "You have to take your place."

Steven looked warily at the throne but slowly approached it looking back at her. He sat down in it, and it pained Pink to see him there. Her face was struck by a quiet terror and a pang of sadness that made her whole form wilt.

"Is there any way I can speak to you again?" He asked looking down at her.

"I don't know," Pink said, "A gem isn't meant to hold two consciousnesses, but it has mine and yours. I know if anyone could figure out a way to speak to me again, it would be you."

"...Will I be the same when I reform?" He wiggled his fingers anxiously against the wooden braids that made the armrest of the throne.

"No, you'll be stronger."

"Stronger? Like a Diamond?"

"Yes, you're gem has always held back your powers so that you wouldn't use them before you were ready or able to. When the diamond regrows you, it will know its time."

Steven squeezed the end of the armrests beneath his fingers, "Good, Tourmaline will need to be strong to save everyone."

Pink didn't look as convinced, "Being strong will help, but remember, I had power too, and it wasn't enough. Your human side is stronger. Use that."

He nodded, but he still wasn't so sure, "I guess... that I'm ready."

Pink held her hands around the diamond in her stomach and formed a triangle with her fingers and thumbs. The gem twinkled and began to glow brightly.

"I love you," He said to her as the light began to make him feel dizzy.

"I love you so much, Steven. Tell Greg...he's still my universe. And Pearl..."

"Yes?" He almost slurred but held on so that he could hear her message.

"Don't ever stop."

"Okay…" He breathed, and his head lolled from side to side.

Pink's light became so bright that it overtook the room and all he could see was its blinding rays. He reached out to her, lifting his hand weakly from the throne's armrest but as it had always been, she was just out of reach.

* * *

 

Peridot was in the lab half of her and Steven's room. Her hands were fumbling over the workbench with something that she must have done a hundred times. All that practice with rebuilding the robonoids and she couldn't even get this right. She had summoned a sofa for Greg to sit on that was up against the row of windows so that it was facing the bed. Peridot glanced up. Greg was on it snoring with an open novel that was rising and falling with the rhythm of his chest. He had stayed with Steven since the day they brought his gem home. He only left to retrieve sustenance that his form required. And when he couldn't leave, didn't want to leave, there was a couple of pizza boxes on the floor next to the sofa that other humans had brought to him.

Her hands were shaking. She would do anything for Steven to make her a hot cocoa right now. She put the processor down and leaned forward onto the bench with one hand and cried into it. Crying like she had done so many times before these last five days. Sometimes Greg would start up too, and she would join him from across the room knowing how he felt. The day he had first gotten here he had told off every gem who would listen about how they had failed in their duty to keep Steven safe. When it had come to her turn, he had taken a breath, let it out, and hugged her. She was so confused. She wished Steven had been there to explain. She felt exhausted, but she didn't need sleep. She felt like she would run out of tears, but she knew her form could keep supplying them as needed.

Pearl had explained to all of them what she knew of how Rose became Pink. Jasper had been there too listening intently and with a slightly puzzled look that had never left her face since they had returned from the Beta. But she had insisted on staying, even after Peridot's initial outburst. She said that she believed Steven and her to be some kind of foretold leader of all of gemkind. It sounded completely cracked to her. Maybe discovering that Rose was Pink had scrambled her mind. Peridot didn't know how she felt about Rose or Pink, let alone trying to entertain the thought that a sapphire had prophesied that a Diamond would make the mistake of fusing with a peridot. She only knew that she was relieved that Steven had never known that he was a Diamond. Maybe there was hope for her yet. Maybe it hadn't been a mistake. She was just sad enough to entertain such silly thoughts. A peridot with a diamond, this entire time, and they had done more than just fuse...a lot more...

Greg let out a snort, and she jumped as if caught holding the naughty pictures that were, thankfully, only in her head. Greg settled back down and picked up his steady snore again. Peridot managed a small smile. He had been kind. He had seen the torture she was going through. He understood. So Greg had gone out and bought a list of tools that he had asked her to make. Now the lab was filled with everything that she needed, but she didn't feel like working. Peridot did it anyway. She had gotten an idea from 8LG. Her armored bodysuit had provided unrivaled protection. Peridot had sensed Steven's worry over Connie many times, and even though there still was some lingering jealousy, she didn't want anything to happen to her. Nothing would if she could finish her own prototype of the suit. If she could just steady her hands, stop her eyes from glancing up at Steven's gem resting on the bed on a pillow, maybe stop crying every hour, she might be able to finish it sometime this decade.

She picked up the processor again and turned it over inspecting the configuration of the hanging wires. At the edge of her field of vision, Steven's diamond shook. Her head snapped up, and she stared at the gem waiting for it to do it again but nothing happened. She frowned. It had shaken because that's what she had wanted to see. It made her want to cry again. She fought it off and let out her frustration with a single huff. She went back to the processor and chewed on her top lip. The diamond shook again.

"Stars I'm going mad," She looked at the Diamond desperately.

Peridot put the suit part down. She walked carefully around the workbench, her eyes glued to the gem as if to sneak up on it and catch it in the act. It shook again.

"Hah!" She grinned, pleased with herself. In the next moment, her grin had fallen as she realized what the shaking might mean, "Steven?" She peeped.

The gem rolled off the bed. It hit the floor with a heavy thud. Peridot fell back on her butt and scooted away from it. Greg snorted, his eyes fluttering open. He sat up throwing the book onto the floor, "Pera—Peridot?"

In front of both of them, the gem floated up from the hardwood and turned upside down so that the point was facing up. Peridot and Greg exchanged glances, and both turned back in fearful hope. Around the Diamond, a silhouette of Steven's form manifested as a projection, but instead of popping into existence as a normal gem would, his physical form started to grow outward from the Diamond as if sprouting from a seed in all directions. It was real skin. Flesh and bone. Blushing with the pumping of blood. Toes and fingers curled. Lips parted and closed. His chest rose and fell with the need for oxygen.

Peridot got up, and Greg came around and stood beside her. She blushed a deep evergreen. Steven was standing before them completely naked. He was blinking as if the sunlight coming into the room was blinding.

"Schtuball...is that you?"

Steven groaned and looked down at the Pink Diamond that was now embedded in his stomach as it had been in Pink's. He looked up and caught Peridot looking at it too. He hadn't spoken yet. Was it him? Did he even remember her? Maybe the regeneration had damaged him in some way. He gave her a warm smile, his eyes looking down at her, but unlike any other could always make her feel like he was looking up at her instead. She wavered on the threshold of not knowing with that smile and those eyes. Then, it happened. The chord that had tied their hearts together, the one that stretched any length no matter the distance between them, snapped back. Her chest that had felt like a cold hearth without his warmth roared to life at the spark of the aura.

"It's me, Da— oooff."

Peridot dived for him. It sent both of them to the ground, and Steven was laughing. She squeezed him tightly and cried.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. I'm alright." He held onto her as she shuddered in his arms sobbing with a smile on her face.

Greg was wiping a tear from the corner of his eye and chuckling, "I'm so glad to see you're okay, buddy. I was so worried."

"I'm alright, Dad. It's so good to see you."

Greg was bobbing his head up and down and holding his belly. Then he blushed noticing what Peridot had. He gestured with his thumb over his shoulder, "I..I'm going to step out here and let you get dressed aheh."

As soon as the temple door closed behind Greg, Peridot's lips were on Steven's, and her visor was gone. He kissed her back, but she wanted another and another. Her tears were damp on his cheeks now as they kissed. She was sitting in his lap, and her arm was around his neck. She brought a hand down to pet his gem. Her fingers touched the upside down diamond, and they recoiled, lingering above it.

He was looking into her blue eyes, "It doesn't change anything between us."

"I'm just a Peridot..." She whispered to him.

"You're a Diamond to me. My Diamond."

The way he said that. He hadn't changed at all. Her heart melted into goo fit for an injector. She glanced down shyly at  _his_  injector. She could feel her whole body flush hot. She wanted him now. There were five days worth of pent-up feelings, and she wanted him to get them all out of her. She glanced away, knowing that it would be selfish. The others were waiting on him, had been wanting to see him for so long, not knowing, like her, if he would even be okay. Oh, and he was so okay. More than okay. His dark eyes were leveled to her with their understanding. How she had missed being under them. She reached up and straighten a few loose curls in an attempt to appease the burning need to take it further.

She spoke to him softly, "I've missed you so much. I thought I would never see you again."

He smiled, and that made it worse. She fidgeted. She pulled her hand away, but he wouldn't let it escape. He took it in his and rubbed their palms together so without thinking she was locking her fingers with his. She took in a little gasp and held it.

"I've missed you," He said. He noticed the flustered look on her face, "I should talk to everyone. I think I owe everyone a little explanation, especially you."

"Of course," She said, but she squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.

Pearl had already done her best, but still, he was probably right about the whole talking to everyone thing. It would be different coming from him. He  _was_  right, she knew it. But being right didn't matter. She was already slipping out of the straps of her uniform, and Steven's eyes went wide.

"Peri…dot." And she could hear the want in his voice as his eyes dropped to her exposed breasts. She wanted his eyes there. It made her hotter. The way he looked at her made her feel just as special as his words had.

She brought her face near his and kissed him softly. His lips follow hers, and she let out a moan as his hands came to her breasts to cup them, "They've waited five days," She said, "They can wait a little longer. I'm not waiting another minute."

And she didn't.


	19. The Empty Throne

Steven stood in front of the mirror, his eyes glancing over the fuzz that was growing on the middle of his chest. The Diamond had regrown him just as he had been. Every hair in its place. His fingers fumbled for the zipper of his jeans, but another smaller set pushed them away and found it for him. Peridot zipped it. She looked up at him as her fingers worked with the button next. He cupped her cheek and pulled her face near his to kiss her. How easily she came to him, peeking coyly from the corners of her eyes. How submissive she was. She had always been that way with him. The memory of the throne flashed in his mind. That gnarled rotted branch, an unraveled braid from its armrest, was reaching out but no longer for help; it grasped out now like it was trying to reach her. It wanted her. It demanded everything.

_You have to take your place._

"We're still equal," His voice was a whisper, but firm. Their faces hovered near, and he looked into her eyes to show her that he meant it.

Peridot smirked and finished the button with a playful tug, "I am performing this service for Steven," Her hands rested on his sides, but her eyes lowered to his gem. They lingered there.

"I don't want you to think any different of me," He said, his hands coming up to her arms.

Peridot glanced up at him, "I don't know what to think about the Diamonds now. But I do know  _you_ , Steven. You still make sense to me."

She turned around, already dressed in her uniform, and reached into the closet to pull out one of his star t-shirts. He grabbed her hips. She yelped with surprise but giggled as he pulled her back into him with his shirt clutched in her hands. Steven smiled at both of them in the mirror. Peridot's smile joined his in the reflection. For a moment, he could almost see something more than the two of them. Where they blurred and it was only Tourmaline in the mirror, her shining amber eyes were filled with mischief, and she had a smirk that was confident in the fact that she would never be caught.

"Together," He reminded her with a wink.

"Together," She said, returning the wink in the mirror.

Peridot turned around and pushed the shirt into his chest, "Hurry. Amethyst will dismantle the door if we make them wait any longer."

He pulled the shirt on and met her at the temple door. He stared at the amber dot that burned when the door opened. It had already known somehow.

The living room beyond was like the waiting room of a hospital. Everyone was gathered around in any place they could throw themselves, and they all looked slightly uncomfortable and completely exhausted. They were waiting for someone to come out and tell them the news, good or bad. Greg was talking with Pearl on the couch, while Garnet listened silently next to her. Amethyst was slumped on the floor in front of the fire. Connie was beside her in a green sweater and red pajama bottoms that depicted a variety of Christmas ornaments. She was on her stomach, locks of dark hair tucked behind her ears, reading one of Steven's comics. Jasper was bent over in one of the window seats contemplating the floor.

Jasper looked up, and when she saw Steven coming out, she outshined the Christmas tree next to her. She shot up and saluted him with her forearms crossing, and her hands bent toward each other. Amethyst raised her head indifferently, but when she noticed Jasper saluting, she swung around to see who it was aimed at.

"Steven!"

Amethyst leaped up. Jasper's salute slowly died as everyone else rushed him and surrounded him in a group hug. Peridot, who was already standing next to him, was the first to initiate the hug as if to hold her first spot in line.

"Are you alright?" Garnet asked.

Amethyst was pinching him to check.

"Ow! Yes!"

"Whoa, still human?"

"Thank goodness," Pearl said to that. She shouldered everyone else out of the way except for Peridot who refused to budge, latched to his side. Pearl kissed Steven's cheek and smiled with tears in her eyes.

"I'm okay guys. Everything is alright now," He said.

Greg ruffled his hair, "I guess it takes more than the end of the world to stop a Universe."

_To stop a Diamond._

Steven looked down at his to side to Peridot, who the thought belonged to, but she wasn't looking up, her face still buried down against his shirt.

"I'm sorry guys," Steven said to all of them, "I know I scared everyone, but there was nothing else I could do."

Amethyst's smile dropped, her face slipping back into a mold that had gripped it for five days, one that Steven had never seen on her. He had reminded her of something, a feeling or a thought that he had swept away a moment ago when he had walked through the temple door unscathed. Now it was back. She hugged him from the side that Peridot wasn't taking up. Her face pressed down against his arm, her hair folded over her face, and he could feel his shirt become damp. Steven squeezed the two girls at his side and lowered his head.

Garnet was the first to answer, "It's what Rose would have done." Pearl whipped around to glare at her, but Garnet didn't change her stance. She only added, "But we are all relieved to see you're okay."

Connie nodded, "It was brave what you did. You saved everyone," She said firmly.

He raised his eyes to look at all of them, "Not everyone. Not yet. I want to talk to you all about something. Something that happened while I was in my gem. It's important."

"What happened, Steven?" It came from Pearl, but the question was on everyone else's face. Amethyst raised her head. Her hand reached underneath her bangs to wipe at her eyes.

"Maybe you should all sit down first."

Amethyst squeezed him without a word before pulling away. They all gathered on or around the couch while Steven stood in front of them. Jasper took up a seat on the stairs that had been patched up along with the other damage to the house. Peridot wasn't lashed to his side anymore, but she didn't leave it to join the others.

Once everyone was in a place to receive it, he said, "I met my mom in my gem."

"Rose?" Both Pearl and Greg asked in unison in the same hushed tone. They looked at each other and then back to him for the answer.

"She's still with me," He said. Pearl looked down at the bottom of his shirt where it covered the diamond.

"Wow," Connie said.

"She told me… about being Pink Diamond,"

Pearl crossed her hands on her lap and adjusted uncomfortably in her seat.

"But Mom explained something else to me. Something more important. Peridot said that Jasper told you all about the Final Diamond," Steven looked to Jasper. She seemed to shrink under his gaze as if he was the height of a real Diamond, "Mom told me that Jasper was right." Jasper didn't look surprised, but she scowled at everyone as they turned to look at her.

"What…?" asked a tiny voice that belonged to Peridot.

"Everything mom fought for: to protect the Earth and to free the other gems from the Diamonds. White Sapphire saw Tourmaline do it." Steven looked at Peridot, "Our fusion is the Final Diamond."

Pearl stood up, "No."

Jasper curled her lip back into a snarl, "How dare—" She started to get up, but Steven held out his hand to give Pearl a chance to speak. Jasper plopped back down and settled for glaring at Pearl instead.

"You don't know what the Final Diamond means," Pearl said, "You're talking about fighting Homeworld again. A war isn't like going out and poofing a corrupted gem. Garnet, Rose and I lost all our friends to corruption or shattering. That's the cost for fighting the Diamonds. It's only us now. Even if we could find others to fight with us again, that would put you and Peridot at great risk. Greater risk than even Rose."

"That doesn't mean that it isn't true," Steven said, "We can't ignore the other gems and live on Earth like everything is fine because it isn't. We have to fight for them again. We have to give them the opportunity that we all have right now."

"Well Tourmaline is made up of two," Pearl's voice was becoming shrill. She threw out her hand toward Peridot, "Is Peridot ready to throw her life away as quickly as you have wanted to do lately?"

That's not what he had wanted to do at all, not to any of them. Without thought, his hand had already moved, imperceptibly, to reach out for the small green gem. Peridot had been quietly listening, looking between Steven and everyone else trying to put the pieces together herself. He was relieved she hadn't sat down, that she hadn't joined the others. She had never left him. He stood up here now in front of everyone telling them something that he knew would be hard to hear especially after all that had happened, but he wasn't doing it alone. She wouldn't let him. But through the aura link, he felt tremendous turmoil in her. Steven had stopped his hand from reaching out far enough so that Peridot could see the gesture, so that everyone could see it. Right now it was a quick twitch of movement by his side, only an instinct to hold onto her. It made him realize how much he had come to rely on being able to hold onto her. But if he reached out far enough, it would become an offer, one she could reject. Steven let his hand rest uselessly by his side and waited to see what she would do. Pearl was right. Tourmaline was made of two. Both of them had to agree.

All eyes were on Peridot now, and when she noticed, she took in a quick breath and looked around for another gem that they might have mistaken her for. She turned to Steven so that his eyes were the only ones she had to meet. She came over to him slowly, and when she was eye level with his shoulder, she put her hand to his arm and tugged. He leaned down to her as if to listen to a message that she meant only for him. Instead, she touched her lips with his. The kiss was so tender and warm that his whole body was filled with its power. Every atom in his body floated and rubbed together with a crackling friction. That sparking energy rushed through him, and his body could do nothing but yield so that his physical form dissolved. Peridot's form of light had melted and melded with his making their gems spin in a dance. Brilliant lights of green and pink became an explosion of warm amber that flooded the room. Peridot's answer to Pearl was as quiet as a kiss, but it boomed as loud as a thunderbolt. Greg narrowed his eyes as the light overtook them. He gripped the cushion that was underneath him as if to prevent himself from being swept away. A small smile grew on Garnet's face as the amber rays of light flickered across her shades. Tourmaline stood tall and proud. Her eyes sparkled, lost in the passion of that kiss, her lips formed a smile. They were themselves again, and nothing had ever felt more right.

Connie's eyes lowered to Tourmaline's stomach. She pointed and gasped, "You're gems…"

"...They've changed." Amethyst finished slowly.

Tourmaline looked down at the diamond. It was a vibrant amber. She touched the gem on her forehead as if she could tell its color by touch. Amethyst nodded at her to confirm that it had also changed.

"...Amber Diamond," Jasper said with breathless awe.

"Tourmaline," Tourmaline corrected her, "Peridot is still in here. I'm not just a Diamond."

Jasper bowed her head as if to submit to the new decree. Tourmaline turned her attention to Pearl who was completely speechless.

Through Tourmaline, Peridot spoke, "Since I've come to Earth, I've begun to understand the part I played in Homeworld's plans. All I've wanted is a chance to make it right, to make right what I've done. This is my chance, and Steven makes me feel brave enough to try. I'll be there with him wherever he goes even if that means going to Homeworld even if it means fighting the other Diamonds."

It was clear that Pearl had lost all the fight that she had left in her, whatever little remained after struggling with Steven's absence, "You'll go there without me then! I'm never setting foot in that place again! I won't be there to watch you both throw your lives away!" Pearl cried into her hands and ran for the temple door.

"Wait! Pearl!" Tourmaline called after her. The fusion's words were lost behind the thudding of the temple door and drowned underneath the waves of a hundred fountains.

Hesitantly, Tourmaline turned back to the others. Would it go this way with everyone else too? Steven wasn't sure how he had imagined this going, but not like this. Greg got up and came over. He patted Tourmaline's arm and sighed through his nose, "Rose never talked about the war much," He said, "When I met her, it had already been over for a long time. I've asked Pearl a lot of questions over this last week trying to figure out all this gem stuff. I mean I had to. A gem was all that was left of you until you came back today. None of us were sure that you would. Is this what you really feel like you have to do, Steven? You don't have to. This was all your mom's stuff. Isn't there anyone else who can do this?"

Tourmaline shook her head, "No, there isn't," She put her hand on the diamond in her stomach, "There are so many gems out there like Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst that need my help, Dad. No one is coming for them. I have to."

Greg nodded slowly and hugged her, "I'm scared to death to lose you, son. But I can't hold you back from what you want to do."

Tourmaline put her chin on his shoulder and sunk down into the embrace, "You're okay with it?" She asked over his shoulder.

He chuckled, but it was sad and hollow, "No, but I've never been okay with any of the gem stuff that you do." He tilted his head toward her so that his beard brushed the crook of her neck, "Just promise me you'll do everything you can to be safe, okay?"

Tourmaline pulled away and said, "I'll keep him safe," Greg was puzzled for a moment, unsure of who had said that. His eyes searched her amber ones. They were as dark as Steven's but the wrinkled suntanned skin that they were set in, that Steven never noticed much until now, suddenly made his dad seem much older than he remembered. The confusion on Greg's face passed and in its place was a satisfied smile; a sense of peace had come over him. It was the same peace that Tourmaline had recognized when she had promised to Pearl. Both of them had scrutinized her, and both had come away with more than the answer she had given. What that more was they sensed, she couldn't be sure.

Connie stood up, "I'll keep them safe too,"

Greg looked over at Tourmaline's audience. Tourmaline followed his gaze. She didn't have her expectations set high.

"If Tourmy wants to kick butt on the surface of homeworld, guess who will be standing right beside her?" Amethyst grinned and gestured to herself with a wagging thumb.

Garnet formed a subtle smile, "In every future that I see, I am there with Tourmaline."

Their sincerity was disarming for Peridot. She had steeled herself to fight the other Crystal Gems on Steven's behalf. She was used to meeting resistance. But they wanted to be there for her instead. She had never had that. Tourmaline blinked her eyes and held back tears so that she wouldn't be so mushy in front of them, but she couldn't help but blubber out, "I love you guys."

Connie smiled and retucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"We love you too," Garnet and Amethyst replied grinning.

Jasper rose awkwardly, feeling the need to take her turn. She gathered her full height to address Greg's concern, "I was created to serve the Final Diamond. As long as my gem holds, no harm will come to her."

Amethyst groaned, "Oh, give it a rest with that crap will ya?"

Greg looked back to Tourmaline while the two quartz squabbled behind him, "I don't think Pearl would let you do all this alone. She's just afraid to lose you like I am. Maybe you should go talk to her?" He glanced toward the temple door, "Or I could go talk to her if you want?"

"No, it should be me," Tourmaline hugged him again, "Thanks, Dad. I'm really glad you're not mad."

He wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands, "I wouldn't be mad at you, Schtuball."

"No harm will come to Tourmy, but it might come to you if I have to keep listening to you kiss up," Amethyst shot to Jasper.

"It would be over quickly, over baked runt," Jasper snapped.

Amethyst turned around on the couch fast enough to make her hair lash the air, "Call me that again!"

"Please!" Tourmaline said.

Jasper fell silent.

Amethyst looked away and crossed her arms, "Well, she started it." She muttered.

"You're going to have a lot on your hands," Greg said with a chuckle.

"Yeah. I really need Pearl," Tourmaline admitted, "I'll be back. I'm going to talk to her. No destroying the house again while I'm gone. I don't know how you all managed not to for this long."

Tourmaline didn't expect an answer to the implied question, but Garnet supplied one anyway as to how they hadn't, "You."

Jasper sat back down, and Amethyst slumped back onto the couch with her arms still crossed. Tourmaline gave them all one last glance over her shoulder before she left. She couldn't help but smile, even about Jasper silently brooding because it was just her normal brooding this time.

* * *

When Tourmaline entered Pearl's room, she couldn't see her on the center fountain, but she could hear any tears that jerked Pearl loud enough to be heard over the flow of water. There wouldn't be a waterspout elevator provided for them this time. In times like this, there never was. Tourmaline thought of the strawberry battlefield where Steven had fallen chasing Pearl then too. He had always had to do this himself.

_Not this time._

Tourmaline smiled, and with a squeeze of her fist, her shield was summoned. She floated up against the current of cascading silver as it slipped off the sides of the stone platforms in thin sheets. The disc at her feet became level with the platform. She pushed off of it, and her stocking covered feet touched solid water that continued to rush underneath undisturbed. Pearl was on the far side, on her knees, almost holding herself over the edge as if trying to decide whether or not she should make the plunge. She was holding herself back from the drop with her arms crossed over her chest and her hands clutching her top into balls of cloth.

"You really talked to Rose, didn't you?" Pearl had asked it so softly that Tourmaline could barely hear the question over the dull roar of the waterfall behind her back.

"Yes. She told me why she did everything. That you helped her do it. She kept everything from me and so did—" She had come up here to comfort Pearl, now there was a resentment that rose up from inside her.

_Tell her how you feel, Steven. Don't hold everything in. Like you tell me. Just. Let. Go._

Pearl had turned her head toward him, waiting for the end of the thought.

"So did you. You knew this whole time about my Mom, and you refused to tell me. How could you do that? You could tell me about the Diamonds, about how evil they were, about all the things they've done, and how they destroy life. You couldn't tell me that my own Mom was one?" Tourmaline's fist clenched, strangling a spark of amber into her palm, "You didn't think I deserved to know?!"

Pearl hung her head and looked across to the other fountains, "You deserved to know. You deserve so much. Sometimes I hurt when I think of all the things you deserve that I can't give you."

Tears fell from underneath Tourmaline's visor, "Then why? Why did you hide it from me?" She choked the question through what felt like a thick film in her throat.

Pearl stood up, her back to fusion, unable to look at them. She held her hands clasped to her heart, "I had an aura link to Rose just as you do with Peridot. Rose used its power as a Diamond to make me keep a promise that I couldn't physically break. When we faked her shattering, she made me promise that I could never tell anyone what happened. It prevented me from telling anyone that she was Pink."

Tourmaline's chest seized with a tearful gasp as Steven thought of the aura link to Peridot. The gnarled wooden braid reached for her, and it demanded everything. He had feared it getting to her before, and now it had a way. He had given it a way in. It offered him an image of what it would do to her. He could see Peridot now, but her eyes were shiny and dead like blue glass marbles. The chaotic and wild energy that loved him with all her heart was gone. She now had the spirit of a wax doll. Her plastic lips opened, "What are your orders, My Diamond?"

_You have to take your place._

_No!_  Tourmaline shook with Steven's outburst in her mind.  _I'd never do that to you! You have to believe me. I would never. Never. Never. Never. We're equal._

Tourmaline's form wavered as she almost defused. Pearl didn't notice. Her back was still to them, looking far away. It was Steven who wanted to run. To protect Peridot. But to his surprise, she squeezed him tightly so that he couldn't leave. Tourmaline's form snapped solid. Peridot's voice came to him softly as she held them together.

_Listen._

_But I can't do this. You. Pearl. It's too much._

Tourmaline's trembling hand came to rest on her amber Diamond.

_I know you, Steven. You'd never do anything to hurt me. I trust you._

_But what if it gets to you? What if I can't control it?_

_It can't get to me. You wouldn't let it._  Tourmaline's breathing calmed. She sucked in one big breath as the tears started to dry on her cheeks and she let it out.  _Pearl was connected to Rose for thousands of years, and she only grew more independent. It's going to be alright. Stay with me._

Now, Pearl was turning to face them. It was too much. It was like a bell had rung, and now it was round two with Pearl in the ring. Steven felt like he was being slowly pummeled back into his corner. He was afraid of what would happen when he felt himself finally hit that post, what would happen when his back was up against the wall, and there was no way to avoid where this conversation was taking him.

_Focus on what you want to tell her._

But Pearl spoke first, unaware of the bomb she had dropped on them, "Maybe you are the Final Diamond. But you have to think this through. Even without Pink, the Diamond Authority hold immeasurable power and control. With Rose's power, we were able to hold off only a fraction of what they are capable of. The moment they turned their full power toward us, it ended up with them corrupting everyone that was left. The war was over because they had decided it was over. Rose barely saved Garnet and me."

Steven didn't know how to fight her. But he knew one person she would listen to if it wasn't him. "Mom said that I could do it," Tourmaline answered, "That I'm stronger than her. That my human part is what will give us a chance to win."

Pearl quieted the twitching of her bottom lip with her hand, "That's the part I'm most worried about."

"You've always doubted me," She said bitterly.

"I've just wanted to protect you."

"I thought it would mean something coming from Mom. But if you don't believe her, then you'll never believe in me."

"Steven, I do be—"

His back finally touched the wall.

"NO!" Amber sparks shot off Tourmaline's shoulders at the shout and Pearl recoiled, "You just wished it was  _HER_  here instead of me! You've always wanted that, and you lost your chance!"

Pearl was staring at Tourmaline with horrified shock.

Tourmaline cried harder and struggled to get her words out, "You want… you want something of her… well… she told me… told me something to tell you… She told me to tell you 'Don't ever stop.' So that's…" Tourmaline's shoulders dropped, and she stared down at the rushing water underneath her feet, "That's all I can offer you… that's all I can be… just a messenger."

Pearl blinked a few times letting the tears brim over her eyelids and down her cheeks freely like the silver waters of the fountains. Now, each fountain surrounding them, countless in their number, all seemed like eyes, and from them streamed an endless pain. Pearl's room was a room of mourning where you would never have to cry alone. Hundreds of strangers in the distance would join you until they were no longer strangers or maybe it was you that joined them.

Pearl drifted forward to Tourmaline. The fusion was sobbing, wearing a distorted grin of pain.

"I felt guilty," Pearl said, "Because I wanted the opposite. What would Rose think of me now? Wishing that she would never come back. Wishing, with all my heart, every day that you were gone, that the only person that would come back to me was my little boy?"

Tourmaline lifted her head slowly to look at Pearl, her amber eyes rounded into big teary saucers, "You…"

Pearl held her hands together, "You deserve so much. It's me that doesn't deserve you."

Tourmaline swept her up in a big hug and squeezed so tightly that she thought for a moment Pearl would poof underneath her arms. But Pearl hugged back, and they cried together. All of the fountains accompanied them.

"I know you're right," Pearl said, "Just as I believed in Rose, I believe in you. But I can't stand the thought of losing you again. And… the Diamonds have the power to make that happen."

"I can't do it without you, Pearl. I need you there with me."

Pearl put her cheek against the fusion's shoulder, and they held each other for a long time. Tourmaline could feel her contemplating it silently. Finally, she pulled away and nodded sadly, "I'll fight with you. I'll protect you like I did Rose. Only because I know I won't be able to convince you to stay here. "

The fusion wiped at her eyes and smiled, "Thank you," She breathed softly.

Pearl looked past Tourmaline to one of the fountains. She looked like Garnet did at times, as if in a flash she saw everything that would ever happen unfold in front her from start to finish. Finally, Pearl blinked as if it was over. She looked down at her fingers that were fidgeting in front of her. Then, she glanced up at the fusion, "I suppose Rose didn't feed you anything while you were in there. I bet Steven's hungry."

Tourmaline snorted out a tearful laugh, "He's starving."

Pearl looked back in their amber eyes and smiled, "I'll make you something."

* * *

Tourmaline defused only so that Steven could enjoy a home cooked meal. Pearl baked a lasagna big enough to feed him, his Dad, and Amethyst. Amethyst told Steven that Jasper had left when he went to talk to Pearl. She had been hunting for the landing zone of 8LG's ship off and on when she hadn't been waiting for him to reform. Jasper was now out again searching.

Steven suggested they all do something together because he had missed them. It was dark outside by the time they had finished dinner. His dad suggested watching a new series about zombies called  _The Walking Zed_  that had just come to Flix. So, they all went to Steven and Peridot's room to put the big screen to use. Tourmaline had fused back, and she commanded the room to enlarge the bed so that it could fit all of them on it.

"EMPEROR SIZE!" Amethyst had whooped in a bassy announcer voice before diving on top of it and bouncing halfway to the ceiling.

They all piled up on it, and the tv slid down. Soon they were passing the popcorn bowl around and watching a group of survivors try not to get eaten. One episode turned into two, then three, then four could be called a binge.

"Oh my god, Trish, you're such an idiot," Connie was covering her face with her hands, "The zombies are going to hear that gunshot, and now they are all on their way,"

"Yeaheheheh. I hope they are," Amethyst said taking the popcorn bowl from Connie's occupied hands.

Tourmaline got up and padded over to the temple door. She called back over her shoulder, "Hey, pause it. I want to see her get killed off. She's been a burden on the group's resources since episode one."

Connie giggled.

"I bet I know which one of you said that," Amethyst rolled her eyes and grinned. Pearl, the designated keeper of the remote, paused it for them.

Tourmaline went into the kitchen and made a cup of hot cocoa.

"Bring me a soda when you come back!" Amethyst called from the room.

And she also got Amethyst's soda from the fridge.

She stood a moment with both drinks in her hand and looked into their room. Out of it came everyone's laughter and their bursts of conversation. Garnet said something softly, and everyone shouted "SPOILERS!"

Tourmaline grinned to herself. This was what she would fight for. So that every gem could enjoy and be a part of what she was now. She let the warmth settle over her, embracing this quiet moment. It was good to be home again.

She returned to their room and handed Amethyst her soda, "Alright. Let's see her get eaten!"

Pearl unpaused it.

* * *

Steven laid staring over Peridot's shoulder at the moonlight pouring in from the row of windows. The curtains rustled gently at the breeze coming in from the balcony door that they had never closed since Tourmaline had opened it. It was late after they had finished episode six and his dad had started falling asleep. Pearl had shaken him awake, and he had decided to stay over and take the couch in the living room since Jasper hadn't got back yet. Steven didn't need sleep if he stayed fused with Peridot, but he thought it best to give his new body some rest. At least... he was trying to. The clock on the nightstand read 2:12. Peridot felt so warm in his arms, and her soft breathing was set to a soothing rhythm, yet he couldn't sleep.

A lot had happened today, but he wasn't going over the events of the day in his head. A deeper problem had revealed itself only when he and Peridot had slid into bed, and everything was still and silent.

_I'm Pink Diamond. Everyone will look to me to lead them. I don't know how to lead. I don't even know how to set them free. How am I supposed to bring Earth to them?_

He thought of what his mom had said.

_You bring Earth with you everywhere you go._

Steven let go of Peridot and turned over on his back to stare up at the ceiling. He sighed. The problem had occurred to him once he had overcome the first hurdle which had been getting everyone else on board. That was him. Always acting first — he glanced over to the pretty green gem slumbering next to him — never planning or thinking before he jumped right in.

Steven leaned over. He planted a soft kiss on her bare shoulder, and she made a pleased moan in her sleep. He waited a moment to see if she would wake up. She didn't turn to him, so he got up and got dressed in his black star pajama bottoms and pulled on his red sweater.

His dad was snoring on the couch when he walked out into the living room. The fire was going steady in the stove, but his eyes were drawn to a sudden movement above the couch where his old bedroom was. Steven squinted, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Connie waved to him from his bed. He smiled at her awkwardly and gave her a small wave back. He thought she had left. She rolled out of bed and headed down the stairs. Steven met her there as she waited for him.

"Hey," He spoke softly as not to wake up his dad.

"Hi," She said beaming at him, then she frowned and tossed a glance over her shoulder, "I can't sleep. Greg snores really loud."

His dad snorted out a defense, then settled back down.

Steven chuckled low, "Pearl usually tells me when you're staying over. I didn't know."

"Oh, with everything that's happened today, neither of us got a chance to tell you," Connie touched him on the arm. He could feel her fingers curl into the sleeve of his sweater a little. He swallowed, and alarm whistles sounded in his head. He tried to think of anything else, afraid that somehow that they would reach Peridot through the aura link. He didn't need her storming out here and cutting off Connie's head over a harmless gesture. It was harmless, right?

He looked over at her hand, "Tell me what?"

Her hand retreated, "I uh. Well...I told my parents about the whole being a Crystal Gem thing. Aaaaaand...they kicked me out."

His jaw dropped, "What?" He hissed in the dark.

Connie only nodded, "They did it hoping that I would go back to school. They told me that if I wanted to be a Crystal Gem so much that I could go live with them. Pearl said that you probably wouldn't mind me crashing here for a while."

The whistles stop blowing in his head. She was still his friend, and she just needed his help.

Steven hugged her, "That's awful. You can stay here as long as you like. Just let us know if you need anything at all, alright? We're always here for you."

Connie hadn't seen the hug coming before she was caught by it. But she lowered into it and squeezed him back, "Thanks, Jam Bud."

They parted, and Connie brushed a bang away from her face, "It's been tough. I didn't think they would do something like that. I still think they're just trying to scare me into going back. I mean they know I have money and a warm dorm back at school. They probably figure with no choice, I'll go back and give it another shot."

"Well, it doesn't matter why. It's not right," Steven said flatly.

Connie tilted her head and smiled at him, "Today it was so cool to see everyone support you. Even Pearl didn't take too long to come around. That's why I prefer you guys anyway."

Steven had said those words before too. It was weird to have them said back to him. "We're like your family. We always have your back," He said.

Connie pointed to something outside the window, "I think our newest addition is having some trouble."

Steven turned around. Jasper had come home. She was standing on the deck out in the cold and staring out across the dark sea.

He grabbed his black coat off the rack, "I should go talk to her," He slid himself into the coat, wearing it over his red sweater.

"I'm going to raid your medicine cabinet for some earplugs," Connie said and went off toward the bathroom.

Steven stuck his bare feet into his boots and brushed the soft cotton cuffs of his pajama bottoms over their tops. He pushed the front door open against a thin layer of snow that had accumulated underneath it. They would need to shovel the deck soon if they intended to get out again without making another hole. The cold seemed to hang frozen in the night air as opposed to blowing in any particular direction. The wood planks of the deck cracked and groaned underneath his boots as he made his way over to the orange gem.

Jasper didn't seem to notice his presence until he was almost next to her. She turned quickly, but when she saw that it was him, she snapped to attention and folded her arms in a salute. Steven smiled and put his hand on top of one hers.

"You don't have to do that."

She seemed disappointed. Her hands fell limply back to her sides, and she turned back to the railing.

"You were trying to teach me something before, my Diam—"

"Steven, please."

Jasper grunted it out as if in pain, "Steven."

She turned her eyes to the moon and squeezed the hand railing periodically as if trying to signal for help in Morse code. One long squeeze for dash and one short for—

"I fought so that the last era could come," Jasper said, finally. She glanced back at him, "But I don't think it was meant for a gem like me. It feels like it was meant for another…" She turned her eyes back to the moon.

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat and smiled, "If the last era was meant for any gem, it was meant for you."

Jasper turned her head away from him so he couldn't see her face, "I always believed that everyone got what they deserved. Gems are created for a purpose. A purpose that the Diamonds designed and the fate of any one gem was dictated by it. But… when you gave me those records, the ones from the spire, you made me feel like I deserved something more." She slapped a hand to her forehead and squeezed as if the pain had come back, and she was trying to fight it off, "The problem is that I don't know what that more is supposed to be."

_I don't know either. It's keeping us both up._

He leaned his head to the side and peered up at the moon with her, "Hey, don't worry. Don't beat yourself up over it. It will come to you. It's about the journey. It's not about completing the mission as fast as possible."

"That…" Jasper waved her hand in a sweeping motion, "Makes no sense." She turned back to him, and gave him a small smile, "But it does make me feel better slightly."

He smiled back, "Well haven't you ever done anything just for yourself? Something that the Diamonds hadn't wanted?"

Her smile vanished. She froze at the question as if the cold had grown so frigid that it could hold her form of light in paralysis. It reminded him too much of 8LG's expression when Tourmaline had almost corrupted her. Where it looked as if she had seized by the throat, her eyes bulging in their sockets as they stared, face to face, into the terrible and awesome power that only a Diamond could produce. Jasper was staring at him that way now, but so deeply that it almost seemed she was looking through him.

_The pain...end it, shatter me, Jasper._

Steven shuddered and took a step back as the thought rose up from Jasper like a demon and flew into him.

_Sodalite...please..._

A series of images flashed into his head. From beneath Jasper's eyes, he could see her running up a grassy hill with something very important clutched in her hand. Unlike now, the air was hot and hazy just like the memories were. All of them were pictures taken with a sweaty, dirty lens. Jasper fell to her knees and with her free hand started to rip up grass and dirt. She was digging a small hole.

_If they found them on the battlefield, they would harvest you…_

Jasper had looked around to make sure no one saw her. The hill overlooked a valley that was filled with the scars and pockmarks of battle. Countless shards and abandoned weapons and armor littered the torn field. Tears were flowing down Jasper's cheeks as her trembling hand buried something in the ground and quickly covered it up.

The Jasper of the present now stood silently across from Steven, her eyes dry, but her face still holding that haunted look. She answered his question hoarsely, "Yes."

Steven rubbed the side of his neck. He looked up toward the starry night sky and pale moon. "It's cold out here." He turned back to her, "Do you want to come inside?"

Jasper nodded slowly.


	20. The Grove

Steven stood in front of the temple door and stared at the amber dot. Jasper was settled in on the living room floor with one of her books. He had done his part as leader for the night. He had led her about ten feet from the deck and into the living room. He supposed that wasn't going to be good enough for all of gemkind.

His eyes moved away from the color of amber and instead traced their way over to circles of red and blue. The burning room. The first room he had ever seen past the temple door. He had tried to get into it once when he was five. He had trailed behind Garnet with MC Bear Bear squeezed to his chest in both arms. Those blue and red dots lit up like magic then. Their twinkling glow is all he could make out around Garnet's towering form. The door was quick. It would close almost as soon as she stepped through. He had hesitated. The room beyond wasn't as magical as the dots that lit up to let people in. It was dark except for a light in the center of the room that seemed to breathe. It inhaled, and the room went dark for a moment and when it exhaled it grew brighter again. It's breath sounded like bubbling and he could almost hear a low growl like a monster lived in there. A monster that Garnet was keeping chained up and maybe she only went in there to feed it and make sure it didn't get out. He waited too long, hovering just in front of the threshold, and the temple door slammed to a close. He was relieved. The choice had been made for him. Then, something grabbed his arm. His mind flashed horrible yellow and red.

_MONSTER! IT GOT OUT!_

He was one half the connection of a lightning bolt. There was one Steven that had already made it to the front door. Then, there was the unfortunate Steven, the one he was, on the other side of that bolt, the one standing paralyzed in front of the temple door. The only thing that separated them was energy. Energy that wasn't in his feet like it was supposed to be, but it was now rushing up his throat instead. And when that hand wheeled him around, he let out a shriek that tore through the air loud enough to make both him and Pearl lift off the ground

"Goodness," Pearl let out a breath and laughed. But she frowned when she noticed that he was shivering in place, "What's wrong?" She asked.

Steven threw a glance back at the door and squeezed the stuffing out of MC Bear Bear. Pearl knelt in front of him.

"That's no place for you, Steven."

"Is she feeding a monster in there?"

Pearl cocked her head and looked over at the temple door, "I hope not."

His eyes only got bigger.

"Oh," She gave him a reassuring smile and rubbed his arm, "No, silly. There are no monsters in there. Garnet goes in there to watch. Watch for things that might be bad so that she can stop them before they even happen to you."

Steven released his chokehold on the teddy bear and raised his eyes to her, "Can she see everything? What if something sneaks by?"

Pearl's smile only grew bigger. She caught his nose between two of her knuckles and gave it a shake as if she might steal it, "Like you were going to sneak by?"

He giggled and hid his nose down into the back of MC Bear Bear's head.

She brushed a curl from his forehead, "That's why I'm here. To get the things that sneak by." She narrowed her eyes at him slyly, "Now I've got you!" Pearl reached out for a tickle attack.

"NO!" He ran with a screamy laugh, and she was right behind him.

Now, he was eye level with the circles on the door, but his visits to the burning room were still rare. Steven pressed his hand against the temple door, and the diamond in his stomach glowed faintly underneath his sweater. The red and blue dots twinkled at his command. The door opened. He wavered a moment and then, stepped into the burning room.

Inside, the lava well breathed as it always had with that low growl deep inside its throat. Countless bubbles, their shells shiny with the glow of the lava beneath them, hung suspended in the air. Steven spotted 8LG's gem floating near the bottom. He didn't like that her gem was so close to the oblivion that she had wanted. He didn't want any of these gems in bubbles, but he hoped that 8LG, in some way, was enjoying the peace that she had asked for. Garnet sat cross-legged in front of the well. She was watching. Above the soft roar and bubbling of the lava, he heard a voice somewhere in one of the black corners of the room.

_You guys are like the family I never knew. The Famethyst._

The voice was Garnet's. He could feel her presence, and it seemed to fill the entire room as if the body of the fusion in front of him wouldn't be enough to hold how large her mind had become. She had opened herself up like a funnel allowing whatever would come to come. It made him think of White Sapphire. Her face painted stoically in the mural as she received her vision. All those experiences would filter through them. How could you let all that come to you and still be the person you were? And to some extent, he guessed that you couldn't. Garnet was loving. She was brave, and she was wise. She would spend time with him and play. But there was always a piece of her that was missing. It was a void. A blank spot. It's where the experiences of others that she saw would be written. A hole inside herself to make room for the others that would always come and go.

So when he heard Garnet's voice drift up from above his head again, somewhere behind a Jasper gem, he understood. She was lending her voice too so that the others could speak, and she could listen to them.

_You only love me because you've been ordered to love me!_

It was hard not to feel like that little boy again as he edged his way toward Garnet being careful not to shuffle or slide his feet against the stone floor. He needed to know what she saw.

_I came to see the one I've mourned for thousands of years. When I thought I could hurt no more, when I thought I could reach no further depths, I find you alive and well. I find you fighting against everything I've ever worked for. I find that you hate me. That you never loved me as I loved you. My Pink was shattered on Earth. You. I won't mourn you._

All at once, Garnet's consciousness shrunk from the room snapping back to the spot on the floor where she sat. Steven froze halfway to her. The eyes that watched had slowly turned to fall on him. He hadn't snuck past this time either.

She remained facing away from him, "Can't sleep?" Garnet asked.

"No," He let out the breath he was holding.

Without turning, she patted a spot next to her for him to take.

He sat down next to her. The well in front of them bubbled, and small waves of orange rolled and dipped on top of one another in an eternal stirring. Whether or not the well was magic or if it was the room that controlled the temperature, just as his and Peridot's room did, he felt no heat from the lava. It was right in front of him. He could reach out and dip a hand in, but the well felt miles away as if what it was and what it did was disconnected from them entirely. This room had always seemed to fit Garnet. She sat quietly, waiting patiently for whatever he would do next, knowing what it was before he did.

"Are you okay?" He asked, "I mean about Mom? About her being Pink?"

"I am now..." She said. Then, she sighed, "At first, it was hard. I couldn't understand what Pink was trying to do by being Rose before Pearl explained it to me. I thought she had been playing a game with us all. Something to amuse a bored Diamond." Garnet put her hands together in her lap pressing the two gems into her palms together. "It was almost enough to pull me apart."

"You? Defuse?" He looked over at her.

"But I couldn't. I knew that you needed us. After I learned why Pink became Rose, it became easier to understand. Just as I feel more comfortable being Garnet, Pink felt more comfortable being Rose."

He nodded, trying to shake the brief idea of there being no Garnet from his mind, "Yeah."

"But something else is bothering you, isn't it?"

Steven's eyes raised to the bubbles above their heads. Every one of them a reminder of his Mom's failure to free the other gems. He looked to Centi's gem and then to 8LG's. And now his failures were starting to appear right along with hers. How much more could this room hold? How much more until Garnet couldn't see the future because there was too much of the past right in front of her?

"Everyone's going to be looking to me to lead, He said, "Jasper's already looking to me. But I don't know how to be the leader that everyone needs me to be. I don't know how to free the other gems. To bring Earth to them."

"You won't be doing it alone."

"I know. I know." He said, his voice taking a dismissive tone, "I have you guys with me but—"

"No. I meant you would have Peridot. This doesn't all fall to you."

"It feels like it does." He admitted. He hated how that sounded. He didn't mean that she wasn't capable. "I mean, she's just learning herself. It's not fair to put something like this on her." And there it was. His need to comfort her, to shield her. It was an instinct that shot up as fast as his arm did to summon his shield against danger. It had been him that ran from 8LG's whirling blades of death. It had been him that had thrown up that yellow bubble around Tourmaline and demanded a better plan from Peridot. One that wouldn't get her hurt like he had felt her hurt when those same blades had sunk into her — their back. Well, it had been both of their backs, but it had been her cry of pain. That's all that had mattered. Wasn't that all that mattered when he stood up inside his own bubble and let the reactor go? Just as long as it didn't take her.

"So, you're going to put it all on yourself instead?" Garnet asked.

"That's…" He ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah. I guess, that's kinda what I'm doing."

"She's stronger than you think. It's easy to see only her vulnerabilities when you spend so much time together in that state. She tries to protect you just as hard as you try to protect her. But Tourmaline wouldn't be who she is without Peridot. You can't do this without asking something from her." Garnet put her hand on his shoulder, "It's okay to ask her."

Steven looked to her, and it was Sapphire who smiled back at him through Garnet. She had been talking to him as if he was Ruby. And wasn't he? The Ruby in Tourmaline. Always the one trying to haul everything on his own shoulders. He did see the soft parts behind Peridot's shell. Those blue eyes behind the hard visor. All he wanted was to protect her, but to be the Final Diamond would risk them both just as Pearl had warned. He couldn't keep shielding her.

"It's okay to ask?" He asked carefully.

Garnet nodded, "She'll be relieved that you did. She'll feel included."

"It's so much. I know you're right, I can't do it all by myself, but..." His features grew hard, like the thought of asking her for help meant somehow...he had failed her. That he wasn't strong enough. "...But I wish I could," He said.

Garnet turned her head to look at him now. She was frowning, "No, you don't. You think that's what you want, but when you start to do it alone, you find out just how much you need them. I thought I wanted to handle knowing Rose was Pink alone, but I found that I couldn't." Garnet unclenched her fists holding her palms face up in her lap. The two gems embedded in her hands glowed in the ragged breath of the lava well. "Neither of us could."

Steven thought of the first time he and Peridot had gone down to the Prime kindergarten's computer so she could show him what the cluster was. One of the terminals had been too tall for her to reach. A little tall for even him too. He had lifted her, not thinking much of it, her blushing the whole time sputtering that she had it. He told her that it was okay to ask for help sometimes. After he put her down, she just stood there, the exhaustion of being held a prisoner in the bathroom, that terrified caged animal look, both began to fade. She seemed to brighten up like her skin had turned a lighter shade of green. Her eyes focused on him, as if seeing him truly for the first time. Her hand was a little shaky when it went back to his. She took it and answered him faintly, "Okay." She had smiled at him. Her first sincere smile. It was a bit awkward like she was discovering she liked something strange, something that she never knew existed. She didn't know whether it was okay to like it either. But her smile. It had said she did like it.

Now he wasn't following his own advice. Like Peridot, he was asking Garnet if it was okay. But wasn't this something different? Reaching the controls on a terminal versus fighting a whole empire? The same part of him that had delivered the advice said that it was no different. But that part of him went silent when people could get hurt for the things he could ask. It hadn't bothered to speak up when he had bubbled the reactor.

Steven sighed. He leaned over to Garnet and hugged her side, "I'll talk to her."

Sapphire's smile returned, peeking from below her shades. She squeezed him back.

"I should get some sleep," He said, "It's late."

Garnet only nodded solemnly. The smile slipped away as if hearing a call to return to her watch. It beckoned her from the well. Return to your station, it said, you are the watcher on the wall. Guard them against anything that might come from beyond it. Steven knew she would, just as he believed she would as a child. But he was beginning to learn how to take care of himself now and to try to trust in another to help him. When he stood up, he felt lighter. Garnet turned back to face the well and the bubbles that floated above her in the darkness.

Steven was halfway to the door when Garnet stopped him with a question, "How did Amethyst get into wrestling?"

"What?" He turned around not sure he had heard that right. She was still sitting quietly. He rubbed at his cheek with his palm, "Uh. I don't know. I think she just got into it? I mean maybe she saw it on tv or heard Lars talking about it when he used to go see the matches."

"How did Pearl start going to the improv club events?"

Again, she waited expectantly for his answer. He remembered that one clearly. "She saw them acting out a scene one time, and she sat down and started watching."

"So, you never had to tell them to do any of that or show them? They found it themselves when they were given a chance to?"

"Well yeah… " Steven trailed off.

"We were never following Rose. She was following us," Garnet said, "To be a good leader, you have to do the same, Steven. Give the other gems that chance. Follow them. And you will see that they will find their own way in time. They don't need more orders from yet another Diamond. But they do, whether they know it or not, feel like they need your permission."

He took a step toward her crossing his arms, "My permission? To do what?"

"To be themselves."

He looked over at 8LG's gem. It was floating peacefully with the rest.  _What are we without the Diamonds? I'll tell you._

And he thought of Peridot's sobbing as she fell to the sand, a sunset of pink and violet behind her.  _I'm not like her. I want you to know. I'm not like her, I promise._

8LG's tear stained cheeks closed in behind her helmet. The reactor throwing violent shades of red and pink against her suit.

_Without the Diamonds? I'll tell you._

Peridot on that beach, her blue eyes begging something from him.  _How would you find her? We all look the same._

8LG's answer came.  _What I am. Nothing._

Steven looked down at Garnet as she peered deeply down into the burning well, "I think I understand," He said.

"Good."

He made it to the door and placed his hand to it so that the red and blue orbs lit up. He moved his hand to the doorway stopping it from closing and looked back at Garnet.

"What do you see in Tourmaline's future?"

Even in the dim light and from across the room, he could see her stiffen. For a long time, she didn't answer. He began to think she wouldn't at all until she finally said, "It's going to be tough, Steven."

He glanced back at the living room over his shoulder. Then he looked back to her with a sad smile, "You'll keep watching over me?"

She was facing away from him, but he could tell she wasn't smiling when she answered, "Always."

* * *

In an evening gloom, the sun could not pierce the clouds and fog that hung together in this evergreen forest. Instead, what remained was a grey veil that lurked beyond twenty feet in any direction. To Steven, anything past that distance was a grey blur broken up by pillars of muddy brown that he supposed were trees. Douglas firs. That's what Ray had called them back at the tree farm. But these were not on a farm. They were here on their home soil, and they were massive, towering above him where the grey mist gathered near their tops. His snow boots had left a heavy indent in the snow underneath. He wondered how long he had been standing here, how long he had been staring up at them.

Steven shoved his hands into the pockets of his black wool coat. He buried them deep and pushed so that the coat pulled closer to his body. It made his shoulders hunch a little, and he tried to hide his neck as far it would go down into the collar. He started on his way. There was a path under his feet that he was following, but it was hidden under snow — how did he know that there was a path? But he did know it. He knew it so well, the feeling of having walked this path a thousand times; he didn't need to see it to know that it was there and where it would lead him.

The Douglas firs around him were huddled together loosely as if gathered here in secret for a cult meeting in the woods. Their cloaks of snow were gathered around them as tightly as his coat was to him. Their heads, some bent forward with the weight of the snow, wished to conceal their identities. But he did feel their eyes watching him as he moved through their crowd, their faces hidden under grey hoods of fog and mist.

A voice, one that they were all here to listen to, spoke softly and sweetly. It was coming from the end of where this path would take him. The forest seemed to lean forward, its ears prickling at the words, but Steven knew that the voice was speaking to no one but him.

"You are the Diamond of life," A woman said.

Steven started to trudge faster through the snow. The trees began to thin and open into a grove. This place. This grove, and the woman that was there, were what the trees had all gathered around to watch and to listen to. It was as if this clearing was the space they had made for her. The woman was Pink Diamond, and behind her was a pond, calm and blue. In the dull backdrop of grey that tinted everything, the richness of that blue seemed almost surreal as if the pond was the only genuine source of color in these woods.

Pink smiled with delight when she saw him as if he was their honored guest. She stood at the water's edge. It should have been frozen over, he thought, but it wasn't. Steven walked up to her slowly peering around. As soon as he was in arms reach, Pink reached out and wrapped him in a hug. She pressed her cheek against his, and it was pleasantly warm. He gave her an unsteady hug back.

"Mom, what is this place?"

She still wore her smile as she answered him, her eyes beaming, "Pearl and I called it the grove. It always reminded me of my home on homeworld. And like my home, a kindergarten was never placed here. The war began before they were given a chance to build here. It's where I came to think and to meditate. There's something special about this place."

"Why did you bring me here?" He asked.

Pink placed a hand against the side of his face, "There is so much that you must learn if you are to be successful in challenging the other Diamonds. There is something unique about us."

Steven's gaze dropped to the pink diamond in her stomach that they both shared.

"Yellow has a special connection with energy, one that Peridot brings out in you. Blue has a deep understanding of a diamond's aura. But no other Diamond has the connection to life that we do. You must master it. Pearl will try to train you in what she knows to face the others, but even she doesn't know how to train you in this."

He turned his face up to her, "Then how can I learn?"

Her smile grew, expecting that question, "I will teach you."

He had struggled with his powers all his life, bumbling his way through their mastery. New ones came all the time while he still barely knew how to control the ones he already had. The idea of having someone to teach him? Guide him? And that person being his own mom? It was...well it was too good to be true. The excitement wilted out of his eyes and his smile faded. Pink watched him with concern as if she had expected this to be a gift.

"How?" He asked, "How can you teach me. You're…"  _Dead._  Well...she wasn't really dead but...

She leaned closer, "I have been trying to find a way to talk to you again. You must come here. You must find this place. It has a special connection with me."

But his mind was already busy trying to tear all this apart. What even was this place? How did he get here? A part of him was trying to fight back. But against what? Not his mom. Not her trying to reach him, to help him. There was something else in these woods. They weren't alone. And somehow, subconsciously he was trying to fight whatever it was before it got here. And it was on its way. He didn't know how he knew, just like the path. It was a secret knowledge, but he knew. It was coming.

There was only the dense fog, and the silhouettes of the trees gathered beyond. Even now he sensed something moving through their numbers just as he had done.

"Steven…" Pink said.

He looked back to her, but she didn't say anything. Then a thought of something she  _had_  said got stuck in his mind. Yet another thing in this place that wasn't the whole story.

"What about White Diamond?"

The tiny features of Pink's face squeezed together. She suddenly looked like a small child that had been caught doing something bad, "What?"

"You told me about Yellow and Blue, but you didn't say what White Diamond was good at. What is it?"

Pink went quiet. That childlike terror was still in her eyes like she was afraid that if she opened her mouth, it would be slapped. He had never imagined he could see such fear in her. The clothes that marked her royalty now looked like a girl's costume for playing in. Her skirt now seemed more like a tutu, this meeting between them, a silly tea party.

_STARLIGHT!_

He winced and shrunk down as if about to be struck. It was an instinct against that cruel exacting voice in his head that seemed to echo down a long hall. But there were no halls here. He was straightening up, not knowing why he had done that at all, when he realized that his mom had copied the gesture. They had done it together.

There was a rustle that came from the bushes on the edge of the grove, a cracking of frozen twigs. The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Pink turned her eyes very slowly to the left, and then her face followed. Steven turned his head with her. The first thing his eyes caught was a blue dress. The bottom of the dress fluttered above the snow in torn and ragged strips. Underneath he could see no legs. But he could see claws, that were supposed to be hands, gripping one of the trees. Its broken, jagged nails were embedded into the bark. Above the claws were scaly blue arms mottled with sickly green. Eyes, oval and silver, like two smoky mirrors, leered at them underneath slick tendrils of dirty blue hair. It looked like some horrible doll that Pink had not invited to their tea party. A doll that was left out in the yard, to get rained on, and become muddy. It was grinning at them, but it wasn't because it was happy. It was because just like a toy, the expression was painted on, forever forcing her lips to be locked in a contradictory prison. She was angry. Angry that Pink had abandoned her in the rain. Not invited her to their party.

Steven snapped his head back to look at his mom.

_STEVEN RUN_

But she was gone. It wasn't grinning at them. It was grinning at  _him_. He spun around to face it. It was right in front of him now, inches from his face. He froze, begging his legs to at least take one step back. The nightmare Lapis was still grinning, but now he could see her teeth, blue, and green, and rotting just like her skin. It looked as if she had been gargling with swamp water and it reeked. He hadn't even noticed her hands around his neck until he felt the sharp sting of her uneven nails digging into his skin and the pressure on his throat.

She opened her mouth again, and beyond the stench wafting out of it, her voice came out in waves like her lungs were filled with seawater, "Where there is life. There is death and..." She squeezed tighter. He pulled at her hands, but her fingers didn't budge. Like the mist, the corners of his vision were beginning to become dull and fuzzy.

"...There is corruption."

The corrupted Lapis choked out a bubbling laugh spraying his face with something dank and slimy.

"What are your orders?!" She screamed at him throwing her mouth open wide so that her jaw hinged at an unnatural angle. He could see her grey tongue squirming around in her head like a swollen worm.

His throat throbbed with pain as it threatened to collapse underneath the crushing weight. Warm blood slid down in lines underneath her nails as they bit into his clammy skin. Her grin grew larger. In her eyes, he was staring back at a reflection of a terrified and murky version of himself.

"You don't have any orders, do you, my Starlight?" She cooed, almost singing the words. It was as if she was mocking a baby that was lying in a crib. Singing it a murderous lullaby right before she —

Squeezed her hands harder around his neck now. He was beating at her arms with closed fists, but the harder he fought, the harder she crushed until she was shaking him with the pressure. His head flopped forward and backward uselessly like a balloon close to popping. Everything but her toothy grin was fading into darkness. He wanted to scream. To shout for help. To call for his mom to come back. To tell this corrupted monster that he did have an order for it.

"I ORDER YOU TO GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF!"

Steven realized he was actually screaming it. It was coming out of his mouth. The grin in the darkness was gone, but he could hardly see. It was still black. He was gripping at a pair of arms and the hands — the hands weren't around his throat. They were on his cheeks. They were soft and warm. Not cold and wet. When the words came, they weren't waterlogged. They were loving and gentle.

"Steven? Steven? What's wrong? What's wrong? Breathe." Then more worried, pleading, "Please breath."

Finally, he could. He sucked in a hard breath filling his aching oxygen starved lungs. Then, in the next moment, he hacked up a thick cough expecting his throat to be sandpaper, but nothing was wrong with it. He was drawing in nothing but clean, fresh air.

A peridot shaped gem pressed into his forehead. The moment he felt its corners and smooth surface press into his skin his whole body went limp. It was as if he had been a red-hot iron dropped into a pail of cold water. Peridot wrapped her arms around him, her small breasts pressed gently against his bare chest, her chin resting on the side of his jaw as she held her face against his.

The monotone voice of the room spoke from somewhere near the ceiling above them, "Scan complete. No unauthorized life forms detected."

He tilted his head up toward the voice, and Peridot's head moved with him.

"You were shouting about something that was on you. I thought maybe…"

He shook his head, "No it was a nightmare...at least I think it was."

She kissed under his eye, his cheek and then against his jaw as if he was a precious china dish that had hit the floor but hadn't broken, "What's that? I don't like it whatever it is."

Steven chuckled softly. He cupped her face in his hands feeling how delicate and soft it was. He ran his thumbs against her cheeks before kissing her on the lips. Reveling in the fact that he was here, safe with Peridot and not with that creature, he took a breath and let it out slowly before answering her.

"During sleep, your mind can sometimes take things you think about or know and jumble them together into a story that you tell yourself. If it's good, then it's a dream. If it's bad, then it's a nightmare. But this one...it didn't seem like a normal nightmare."

"What did you see?" She asked. He could see her now that his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. The covers were pooled around her hips and over her legs. Her arms were still around him. She was afraid to let him go as if the moment she did, something that the scan hadn't picked up would grab him and drag him underneath the bed.

He told her everything. Even about White Diamond and Pink's fear. And at the end of it, she said, "It sounds to me like we need track down what facet this grove is in."

During the retelling they had laid back down and held each other, Peridot's arms looped around his neck and his around her waist. She kept her leg hooked around his so that if he were abducted she would go right along with him. But the corrupted Lapis hadn't shown back up.

"You really think so?" He said, "I don't know. Maybe it was just a nightmare. I've been a little worried is all," But he knew the moment he said it that he didn't mean it. That secret knowledge that he had possessed in the forest belonged to his mom, and she had been trying to reach him again. But if the grove was real. Then the rest could be real. That  _thing_  could be real. He swallowed, and half expected his throat to feel sore.

"We can't rule out any opportunities especially when learning how to fight the Diamonds. Besides, there is a lot of strange things that happen around you that turn out to have merit. Their validity always surprises me."

"Thanks…?" He gave her a wry smile.

Her head tilted to the side against the pillow, "What kinds of things are you worried about, Steven?"

Nothing could escape her. That special Peridot scanner in her head double checked everything. He could lie and give her the obvious worries.  _Oh, you know I'm just worried about getting squished by a Diamond. Nothing big._  But that wasn't what had kept him up. That's not what had brought him to the burning room. That's not what had scared him in his nightmares.

_You don't have any orders, do you, my Starlight?_

Steven sighed, and Peridot waited patiently as she always did twirling a curl around one of her fingers.

"I'm worried about leading." He didn't meet her eyes as he said it. He looked over her shoulder at the pale light pouring in from the windows, "I have to — I mean...we have to lead everyone. We have to free them, but aren't we responsible for what happens to them after we free them? I don't know how to guide people like Garnet. Maybe I can inspire them, but I'm not sure where to take them."

Peridot sat up, propping herself up with an elbow, "I'm scared about that too, Steven. You're a Diamond. You were born to lead. It's in your cut. You move, and gems are supposed to follow. I'm...I'm only going to hold you back. How can anyone listen to a peridot? No one ever would. When they see our fusion... they're just going to...think less of you. They'd be less likely to follow you because they would wonder if it's the peridot giving them the order."

Steven drew her in close, "I don't want them to wonder. I want them to know. It won't just be my voice talking to them. I want them to hear you. I need your help."

Peridot put her hands on his shoulders, her legs moving up to his waist, "You do?" She cuddled up and nestled her nose into the crook of his neck.

Steven leaned his head against hers, "Everyone thinks I'm Tourmaline's heart. But I think it's you."

Peridot smiled, her face buried down against him.

He squeezed her, "Help me find the words?"

Her warm lips pressed against the side of his neck delivering the faintest smack, "I will. Even if I have to search for them algorithmically."

They laid there in silence. His eyes were getting heavier. Peridot could always find the perfect way to put him to sleep, and this position was it. He shut his eyes feeling the ideal amount of weight pressed against his chest. As long as he felt the outline of that peridot gem pushed into the side of his neck, nevermind the imprint it would leave on his skin in the morning, he knew he was safe.

In the fuzzy darkness that was steadily growing in his mind, he heard a soft voice drift through it, "I don't want to disappoint you."

Steven found her silky blonde hair that hung down her back. With one lazy hand, he ran his fingers through it slowly and whispered back, "You'd never disappoint me."

He let the outline of the peridot gem, the weight on his chest, and the soft breath pushing against his neck lull him back to sleep.


	21. The Damage that Lies Beneath

Steven toweled his hair dry as he entered his room. When he was done with it, he tossed the towel into the air, and it rippled down before the room poofed it away. Behind him, the temple door closed cutting the sizzle of Pearl's frying pan short. Being back in a routine was good. Peridot hadn't noticed him come in. She was hunkered down behind the workbench on the lab side of their room. One hand was providing leverage on what looked like a teal colored chest plate, while her other cranked a small wrench.

She worked with a diligence that he knew all too well. Her mind was with the machine so that it wouldn't have to be where she didn't want it to be. She had woken up this morning with the same face she wore now. That expression he knew well too. It was the one that had called Sadie out for excluding him from the band, the same that had accused Connie of abandoning him like the rest of his friends. The muscles in his face remembered what it felt like to make that expression too, as Tourmaline. The lips formed one hard line, deeply set, as if drawing a line in the sand that no one else would dare to cross. The brow lowered, the muscles around the eyes tightened, the jaw was set. That was the look that Tourmaline had given Garnet when she had refused to take them on the mission to capture Jasper, or when 8LG's destabilization had failed to pull him and Peridot apart. It was of grim determination to protect him. A face that one might make as they weathered a storm.

Steven had never met another Peridot until 8LG, and even then it wasn't a good comparison, but it seemed to him that his peridot was made different. It was as if some other kindergartner had slipped up and had given her the willfulness of a diamond. He knew that when Peridot's eyes had opened this morning, if that Lapis from his nightmare had been there waiting on them, she would have leapt across him if she had to and fought the creature tooth and nail. When Peridot had demanded that he see her memories, it only confirmed what he had suspected about her. She had always been a little different than most gems. That difference had allowed her to put herself on a ship that would eventually take her hurtling to Earth so that she could collide directly with him.

As Steven watched her work silently, he supposed that if she didn't find these distractions, that the peridot scanner in her head would scribble off reams of receipt like paper until you couldn't take one step in any direction without tripping over it and getting up looking like a mummy. What made him smile was that she was standing on a metal step that brought her level with the bench. She had made the bench according to Tourmaline's height, not her own. But instead of shrinking it down to her level, she had decided to solve the problem this way.

Steven came over and propped himself against the other side of the workbench. He leaned over. "Looks complicated."

Technically, he was interrupting her in a time when she needed a distraction, but what he loved about her was that when she looked up, there was no placating smile, no hint of suppressed irritation. Her eyes laid themselves on him with a twinkle as if he was a new, even better distraction. The best kind. That grimly determined face melted into a smile. Peridot leaned over, so that the two of them met in the middle, above the suit's chest piece. She pushed her fingers through the middle of his freshly showered hair. She was pleased, "Showers are just as time inefficient as sleeping, but something about them makes me think I might like them too."

Another perk of being a full gem, Steven thought. Nothing stuck to their forms of light for very long, if it did at all. He wasn't sure if there was some self-cleaning process that was involved. They had their own personal scents, but like everything else, it was controlled by the gem. He supposed that if she really wanted to, Peridot could mimic the smell of chocolate or cookies, but he did prefer her unique scent over anything artificial. It was becoming something that comforted him. If only she were able to leave it behind on things, it would be perfect.

"I was thinking of asking you to make an addition to the room so we could have our own bathroom," he said, as he scratched at the side of his head. "I found some hair in the drain this morning, and it wasn't mine." He frowned, "I think Connie's going to be here awhile, and I don't really like sharing my bathroom."

"You didn't mind me in there."

Steven chuckled, "Yeah, but you didn't actually use it. Besides, you're different."

Peridot leaned forward on the bench, propped on her elbows, while she twirled the small wrench in her hand. She gave him a teasing smirk, "Oh? How so?"

He smiled at her. He conjured up an image of how much he thought she might enjoy a shower taken with him and sent it through the aura link. The wrench clanged against the robonoid metal underneath her as it fell out of her hand. She had almost slipped off the metal step she was standing on. She caught herself on the edge of the bench. Her cheeks burned a dark green, and she held a hand up to her mouth, but the curled fingers couldn't hide the coy smile that was now peeking out from the edges.

"I'll—I'll add it soon," She said softly.

She watched Steven while he took his time coming to her side of the table. He was eyeing the chest piece. Peridot got down from her step and hugged him. His lips went to the gemstone that had let him sleep last night. With a kiss, it blinked a 'You're welcome' back to him.

"So what's this? Something I could help on?" he asked.

She turned her head toward it but kept the side of her face nestled to his chest. The peak of her blonde hair just made it to his nose. He blew at it, and it bristled back at him as if offended before standing back up on end with defiance. Peridot didn't seem to notice. She said, "Yes, I'd like your help. This is my Christmas present for Connie." She let go of him and frowned bringing a hand thoughtfully to her chin, "But only if I can finish it in time. It's a suit like 8LG's to protect her when we go on missions."

"Wow. You know how to make that?"

She shrugged and tilted her head against one shoulder, "Sort of. Jasper helped me recover 8LG's suit, and I'm working off of its design."

"Worried about her?"

"Not immediately, no. She seems capable, but she isn't a gem like me or…" She glanced at him hesitantly, "...Or you. The human form is very vulnerable."

Then, the thought struck him. She had said Christmas. "What day is it?" He asked looking out of one of the windows as if he could tell the date by the snow accumulating on the beach.

"The 23rd of December."

"Crap. That means tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I haven't even got anything for you or Connie yet."

"If you help me with this, we can give the suit to her together." Peridot walked over to one of the lab tables and retrieved her tablet. Her face was pointed down toward its screen, but her eyes were turned up at him with a smile. She knew she had left out what to do about her own present. That was all up to him. Protecting the Earth, finding this grove, and fighting Homeworld, those paled in comparison to this challenge. He was utterly lost at what he could get her. But he smiled back. He would think of something. He always did.

Steven went to his closet and pulled out his socks from one of the bottom drawers. He sat down on the edge of the bed and started to slip one on. Next to him, the mattress lowered. He smiled when he felt a pointy tip of blonde hair brush against his arm. With one sock on and the other in his hand, he turned to her. She had put the tablet down beside her and left it.

"You were gone for so long." Peridot's hand came to his chest, not over his diamond but over his heart. He wondered if she could feel it start to beat faster. It always did when she turned her attention to him like this, "I know you want to find the place in your nightmare, but…"

He put his hand over hers and held it waiting for her to speak again, hoping that she felt at least half the patience that she gave him.

"Steven, I think there is going to be so much ahead of us. Training, fighting, traveling. But I don't want it to get in the way of us just…"

"Being together?"

She let out a sigh of relief that he understood. "Yes. I don't want to fuse Tourmaline just so that we can be this Final Diamond. I want it to be about being with you...and you wanting to be..." Peridot turned her eyes away from him and added softly, "with...me."

Steven leaned over toward her. Peridot caught the movement from the corner of her eyes. She looked back to him with only the faintest outline of a smile. She was eying him suspiciously. He moved closer to her, and she turned her body to face him. When he came closer again, she scooted back farther on the bed, but her smile was growing. He followed, wearing only one sock, letting the other drop out of his hand. Each time he came closer she would dig her stocking covered toes into the mattress and scoot backward and giggle. He came closer. There was a scoot. A giggle. She was grinning now. She waited in anticipation every time she moved back, and he would always be there to meet her. They kept this little chase up until Steven saw the next scoot would take her clear off the bed. He moved forward. She giggled, and the moment she pushed back, her eyes went wide at the absence of anything underneath her. She tumbled backward, her arms flailing over her head as she tried to catch herself, but Steven had already grabbed her.

"EEEP—" She yelped but the world wasn't moving down, it was moving up. Her arms stopped when she realized Steven was lifting her. Her eyes locked with his. She was looking at him so seriously now as if their game had been a thorough back and forth discussion. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled herself into him fiercely. They kissed and this time, when it was him that would pull back for a breath, it was her that would rush forward to chase his lips with hers over and over.

"Mmmmm." Peridot smiled at him as if that had settled the matter entirely.

Steven lowered his head and nodded with a small smile, "Helping everyone. Stopping the Diamonds. It's all important. But we need to make some time for ourselves. To have fun like we did last night with everyone. Or like right now." He gazed up at her, his smile gone for a moment, "If we don't, I think maybe all of this stuff will get to us too much."

Peridot frowned, "I know...I can't stop thinking about your nightmare. About that Lapis." She looked over his shoulder, "What if…?"

"What if it's our Lapis?"

Peridot only nodded.

"I don't know. She wasn't corrupted when malachite was defeated. I don't understand corruption as much as I'd like to, but I've never seen a gem become corrupted that wasn't because a Diamond had done it. There must be other Lapis gems out there. It could be one we haven't seen before." Steven shrugged, "Or, it could have just been my imagination in the dream. She was saying things the real Lapis would never say. Couldn't know. Only Mom knew those things."

Peridot still didn't look convinced. "Lapis gems aren't rare, but on the other hand, they aren't common either. They are too powerful and require too many resources. It's doubtful there are two on this planet. Corrupted or not."

Peridot sunk into his embrace moodily. Not having the answer was bothering her. It bothered him too. She played with his hair idly, her eyes resting somewhere over his shoulder. Behind them, the Peridot scanner was going 100 mph. Her nose wrinkled ever so slightly at the cold but salty air of the sea as a breeze swept it in from the balcony. Then, she blinked and turned her eyes back to her favorite distraction, "I was thinking of staying up on Christmas eve so I can catch Santa. Amethyst told me he isn't aggressive. That he instead leaves gifts for people. But I have questions. Like where he gets the resources for these gifts or where he got one of Homeworld's time displacer hourglasses. He must have one. Delivering all those gifts in one night without it is impossible. Maybe he got it from one of the old spires."

Steven laughed, "I could use some answers too."

"Will you stay up with me?"

He smiled, "Of course I will."

She smiled triumphantly, an impish gleam in her eye. Just knowing that Steven would be her stakeout partner meant that the old jolly fat man was as good as hers. Then, without missing a beat, she said, "we should interrogate Pearl for the location of the grove. Pink in your dream said she has knowledge of it."

He raised an eyebrow, "I thought you wanted to just relax today?"

"I want us to be efficient in both work and fun," She said matter-of-factly, "No need to stop one or the other."

Steven grinned, "Alright. Interrogate Pearl it is," He looked around, "Where is my other sock?"

* * *

When Steven crossed the threshold of the temple door into the living room and felt that coolness in the air, he knew it was going to be a good day. The feeling was more than the impending Christmas day and the presents that would come along with it. It was the coolness. Some he supposed called it the Christmas spirit, but he had always thought of it as much more tangible than that. It wasn't a chill, that's what the cold did when it invaded your warm layers. That would make you shiver. The coolness was a layer that settled on top of your sweater or blankets. It's what made them feel warm and not sweaty. It's what spurred you out the door to go throw snowballs or sledding. It was the same coolness that allowed you to enjoy the warmth of a cocoa mug pressed to your lips. The fire was crackling in the stove trying to fight back the cold, and the cold was what you wanted it to fight and maybe beat, but the coolness? Never. That was winter. That was the truth of the season. It would seem now to the untrained eye, maybe to someone who wasn't a winter veteran as Peridot liked to put it, that the warmth bellowing out from the stove was keeping them all cozy in here. But really, it was the cold that drove them to come together, and the coolness that kept their spirits high when they were.

Pearl had laid out breakfast for him and Connie on the bar. Connie was already seated. She spun the seat in a half turn and gave them a wave from the bar smiling, "Good morning you two."

"Good morning," Peridot replied.

He said it back too, but he was looking down at Peridot at his side as he did. He hoped more than anything that by the end of winter she would understand the coolness. The same that drove them to snuggle together under blankets and hold each other. The same that made her alter her body temperature so she could be his heater. If she did, she would know more about being human than even some humans. Connie had turned back to her breakfast, but Peridot noticed him looking at her. She was smiling mischievously between him and Pearl, concentrating on their newest scheme together. He grinned at her. There was no one else he'd rather share the energy of the coolness with. The day laid itself ahead of them, and so he gladly took her hand.

Steven sat next to Connie, who was already starting on her eggs. Peridot sat next to him so that he was in the middle. She pretended to be fascinated with something on her tablet while he began to eat. He made it through most of the breakfast without a word, then casually, as he finished a strip of bacon, Steven asked, "Pearl? Do you know what the grove is?"

Pearl didn't look up from washing the frying pan. She squinted at it and scrubbed the pan harder as if it were in trouble and she was really running it under water for punishment, "Where did you hear that name?"

"I had a dream about it," He said poking his fork against the side of his plate.

"A dream?"

"Yeah...I uh just wanted to know if its a real place."

Connie looked up from a bite of toast. Pearl shut the faucet off and looked down for a moment watching nothing but the pan dripping idly in the sink, "The grove is a real place. I haven't been back there in a very long time." She searched for a towel and scrubbed the pan dry, but Steven could tell her thoughts were no longer with the pan or even with any of them, they were at the place he was seeking to go, a place that he hoped his mom awaited him in some form or another. He hoped that his mom was the only one waiting for him there.

"How long?" Peridot cut in. She sounded genuinely curious.

The lingering anxiety in Pearl's eyes fled. Now she just seemed irritated that Peridot had involved herself in the conversation of whatever this was becoming, or rather what it appeared now, that it wasn't. "A few years before Steven was born," was all she said.

"Will you take me?" Steven asked unable to hide the pleading tone of his voice.

The request looked as if it had hurt her. She stared at him wordlessly, her mouth slightly open. Steven had thought only of himself, but he realized now that if Pearl came with him, if she showed him the grove, that it would be more than just him that Pink would be waiting for.

"I…" Pearl started.

But that thought would have never crossed Peridot's path, she was still pushing forward with their mutual objective in the forefront of her mind, "Steven thinks there is something important there that could help him learn more about his powers. We have to know where it is."

Pearl rounded on the small green gem, "There's nothing there but some trees and a pond! There is absolutely nothing special about it. Maybe you could be fooled into thinking there was something special going on there, but if you went, you would realize that it's nothing!"

The room went quiet except for the awkward crunch of Connie cautiously finishing a bite of toast. Pearl patted nervously at her top as if her hands were still wet from the washing but they were completely dry. She gave a cheerless little laugh and looked to Connie, "I'm sorry. I just think it's…" She looked to Steven now with guilt, "uh silly. There's nothing out there. No gem structures. I can teach you plenty about your powers, Steven." She nodded now as her mind fumbled with the good excuse, "Yes, we have the cloud arena. I can set up some things there after Christmas and we can train." She straightened up and smoothed her wrinkled top from the mindless scrubbing she had given it, "For a couple thousand years I was amongst the Diamond's and their courts. I can teach you plenty of what I saw they were capable of."

"I have to go there, Pearl. At least once to see it for myself." Steven said," Will you just tell me where it is? I'll go by myself."

There was that absent stare again, then she said, "I'll take you in the spring." Steven knew that meant never. "This is not the season to be traipsing around there. All you will get there right now is a bunch of snow. The pond will be frozen over surely." She was waving her hand in the air as if the idea of them going today or even in this century was already moving far away, and she was shooing any other foolish notions that might be left behind.

Tablet balanced perfectly on her lap, Peridot leaned forward and set her clenched fists down on the bar. Steven swallowed. Connie was looking on nervously. "Well if there is nothing there then it should be a very quick visit. What facet is it in? I'll go with Steven."

At that moment, Pearl looked as if she could strangle Peridot. She put her hands firmly on the kitchen counter, "Maybe you have forgotten. Steven died last week and tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Greg will be back from the wash in a few hours, and when he gets back, I think a better use of our time would be to spend some quality time with Steven and shop for gifts, instead of dragging him around an empty clutter of trees in the cold."

Steven put a hand on Peridot's shoulder. Whatever hidden pain, — and Pearl had a lot of that bottled inside. When she got like this, it was impossible to persuade her — whatever awaited her in that grove, she was afraid Steven would sense it. She was right to fear that. His aura had only grown stronger since that day he had linked with her. Peridot ignored his gesture, she was doing this for him, and that dogged determination was set.

"I have already selected a suitable gift for Steven," she said, "He is a veteran of the winter trials. It will not take him long to do this shopping. I don't see why we should not have time for both today or even tomorrow."

When Peridot's sensor siren began to ring and drown all other sounds in the room out, Steven wasn't sure who of the two of them it had saved. Pearl hurried out of the kitchen to answer it. She eagerly stepped up to the warp pad and accessed the crystal panel. Connie was holding her hands up to her ears shouting something that Steven couldn't manage to make out even though he was sitting right next to her. He was giving Peridot a look instead, and she knew why, giving him a sheepish smile in return. She had already gotten him something? She had failed to mention that part when they were discussing gifts.

Pearl shut the siren off. Both Steven and Connie sighed together in relief. Pearl was reading Peridot's sensor report happily.

"What was that?" Connie asked. Steven assumed that's what she had shouted during the alert.

Pearl answered for him, "Peridot created sensors to help better detect corrupted or homeworld gems. We've placed them around the warp pads, not all of them, but hopefully one day."

Steven looked to Peridot with worry, but she had already turned to him with the same thought, the same face. Maybe they would learn what facet the grove was in after all because maybe the report said that the sensor had detected a Lapis gem.

"Ah, It's a corrupted quartz. Not too much of an issue."

Steven and Peridot relaxed. The temple door opened and Garnet stepped out. Amethyst wasn't too long after her.

"We heard the sensor go off," Garnet said.

"It's a corrupted quartz," Pearl echoed to them. She spun around pleasantly to Steven and Peridot with her hands clasped together in front of her, "We will go take care of the gem, Steven. When we get back, Greg should be back from the wash. We can go Christmas shopping together." She looked to Connie wearily, "Look after them. Make sure they don't get into too much trouble."

Connie smirked and gave her an informal salute, a two-fingered wave above her brow. Before the warp beam took her away, Pearl looked convinced she had given Connie an impossible task. She had.

The warp pad now stood empty, and Peridot growled. She hated losing and this definitely felt like a loss.

Connie hopped off the bar stool. She strolled over to the door and hiked up a leg so she could put a foot into one of her blue boots. Then, she repeated with the other foot. She was shouldering herself into her matching coat when she finally said, "So? We going to go find this grove or not?"

That's why Connie had been his best friend. Maybe he was still trying to feel out what it meant for her to be back, or what it meant for her to be a full-time Crystal gem, but deep down, he knew Connie always had his back. A grin spread itself across his face, "You bet," Steven replied.

"But that's the problem," Peridot groaned. Her brow was wrinkled in that calculating look that Steven thought was so cute but would never dare to tell her so. "We don't know where it is. All I know is that Steven said it's in some forest. There's a lot of trees on this planet. It could be anywhere. We could go through hundreds of warps and still…" She raised her head and looked down at her tablet, "Wait." The peridot scanner had latched onto something, and it was taking it under its arm and running off with it. One moment she was staring off into space as she read the results, then the next, she was typing something into the tablet. Gem language scrolled across in the reflection of her visor in waves.

"There aren't hundreds of warps on this planet. They never finished colonization," Peridot bit the side of her lip as her fingers glided over the screen, "It's a facet that has a warp pad, and Pearl said that there were no gem structures near it. It's a forest of specific trees which limit it further. Douglas fir. That narrows it down to…" She giggled and smiled proudly. She hadn't lost at all. She had won, unbeknownst to Pearl.

"Where?" Steven asked in excitement. Connie strapped her sword across her back and crossed her arms waiting to hear the same. She rolled her eyes with a smirk as Peridot grabbed Steven by the shirt and yanked him into a kiss that made their breakfast plates rattle.

Tourmaline snatched a piece of toast off of Steven's plate for the road. She answered with a full mouth while headed to the warp pad, "Fhawcet fiftwy fweh."

Connie gave Tourmaline a playful shove standing next to her on the pad. The beam took them. Next stop: the grove.

* * *

Before the beam cleared, Tourmaline knew one thing for certain, there was no coolness here. There was only the cold. The bitter, cursing, grasping cold. Her physical form could ignore its bite, but despite her ability to shift with the environment, it seemed to be able to reach her through that protection just enough to scrabble its encrusted fingertips across the outside of her warm core to remind her that it could get to her if it really wanted to.

The warp pad sat behind a thicket and was guarded by three tall evergreens. Connie brought her hood up over her head and she peeked at Tourmaline past the fur that lined it.

"Are you sure that the grove isn't somewhere  _warmer_?"

Tourmaline frowned at a gap between two bushes ahead of them. The path, still buried under snow, began there. "I'm sure," She said.

Tourmaline went first, sliding between the opening and into an open path dotted with trees. The snow from the bushes touched her form but found no place to stick. After Connie followed, she had to brush the snow off the front of her coat.

"Yuck!" Connie shook her hand in the air trying to get something off. Across the front of her blue coat was a streak of black slime. Both of them turned to look back at the bushes. Where they had brushed past revealed the plant underneath with its leaves sticking to the twigs like black sap. The leaves looked as if they had melted like decomposing flesh that hung to a ragged skeleton. They turned their heads toward the other bushes, but neither of them made a move to check them. Tourmaline was afraid that if she did, that it would reveal that the plants around them were nothing but bodies buried haphazardly in the snow, that the thicket was nothing but a pile of corpses.

Connie stopped staring long enough to realize she still had come away with part of one on her hand and coat. She bent down, grabbed a handful of snow, and used it to clean her coat and hands.

"Must be something bad going around this patch," Connie said lightly when she was done. She breathed hot air into her hands, rubbed them together, and took out a pair of gloves from a pocket. She had slid each one on before realizing that there had been no answer. She found Tourmaline staring down at the ground. Where Connie had scooped up a pile of snow to clean herself with, was a hole in the snow's crust. Beneath the thin layer that remained was dark mushy soil like mud.

Tourmaline's eyes darted up to meet Connie's, "It's this way. Let's go."

Tourmaline lead them deeper into the forest following strictly to the path. The Douglas firs rose above them, but underneath their shrouds of white, some wore patches of orange and red needles. Some branches were completely bald, and the bark of their trunks was torn or peeled in places. In the dream, Steven had arrived on time as an honored guest, but to Tourmaline it felt like she had come too late. What could be awaiting her at the end of this path? Something that befitted all of what she saw on the way there. And what did she see? Decay. Death. Corruption.

Peridot had seen it all before, but not Steven. This was his first at seeing it for himself. It was more real than any memory she could give him. She held him closer inside Tourmaline, the warm place the cold couldn't touch. She wanted so much to take him away from all this, to ride the warp back and watch an episode of CPH with him under warm blankets while they waited on Greg to get back. But he needed her help.

 _There's no kindergarten here but…  
_ _It's dying, Peridot. It's dying. Everything._

_I'm right here, Steven._

Tourmaline crossed her arms and held herself.

When the ring of Connie pulling Rose's sword came, it didn't surprise her. Tourmaline looked back over her shoulder but kept moving. Connie looked back at her.

"There's something wrong about this place. I don't think Pearl knows what happened to it." Connie followed closer, the sword ready at her side. "You said you had a dream about this place?"

"Yes. I think my mom is trying to communicate with me from inside my gem. She was using the dream to get to me. She said in the dream that this place is connected with her. She thinks that it will allow us to talk to each other, that she will able to teach me some things about my powers."

"I hope she's right," Connie said. She looked down at the sword in her hands, "I always wanted to meet her."

"Me too."

When Tourmaline was sure that the next bend would reveal the pond to them, the only thing that it presented them with was a fallen tree. The trunk was sprawled naked across the path, too big to receive the modesty of the snow as the rest had. The two of them approached it warily. Tourmaline followed along its length. She smelled the black stained bottom before she saw it. In her mind, Steven told her that the smell was like rotten eggs. Connie pinched her nose closed and blew out a large steam cloud into the air as if to stop the scent from taking root inside her nose.

The roots were slimy tendrils that hung from what was left of the wood. Underneath was a mushy black crater of soil where the tree had sat. It disturbed Tourmaline to think that underneath all of this bright, clean, white snow, laid a layer of that stuff. Everything here seemed to be hiding its true hideous nature under something else.

"Too much water." Connie said in a nasally tone, her fingers still pinching her nose. She pointed at the mushy hole. "That's what made it rot. Maybe that's what's happening to all these plants. Isn't that weird though? Most of the water should be frozen."

Tourmaline nodded slowly. Her mouth drew a hard line and her brow lowered, "...It should be." She looked around them. Not a tree stirred. There was no hint of the wind, only the breathless last gasp of fall that seemed to hang permanently in the air waiting for that great relief: that drawing in of breath. But unlike Steven, this place felt as if it would never receive it, doomed to ache like his lungs had, but silently, with no help coming. Amber eyes scanned the trees for ragged strips of blue fluttering in a windless breeze. Nothing. No one. Tourmaline turned back to Connie.

"We're almost there. Maybe my mom will have some answers."

Tourmaline climbed the fallen tree first. Then she helped Connie over it. Connie kept her sword close at hand and Tourmaline trudged ahead of them watching the trees. The path seemed to take longer than it had in Steven's dream. Maybe he had only received chopped pieces of the journey. Tourmaline was walking at a steady pace when she felt a tug at her hand. But it wasn't from Connie's direction. It was from right in front of her. She jerked forward and caught herself from falling.

"Come on! I have a gift for you! But I can only give it to you at the pond."

Tourmaline stopped dead. It was Pearl's voice. She sounded so giddy. Happy in a way that Steven had never heard before.

"What's so funny?" Connie asked now standing beside her. Connie was smiling at her strangely as if she wasn't sure she should laugh at a joke.

"What?" Tourmaline shook her head.

"You just laughed," Connie said.

"No I didn't."

"You totally did, but not like you usually do." Connie peered around for something that looked funny.

Over Connie's shoulder, was a Douglas fir, green and full needled. It wasn't covered in snow. Pearl stood in front of it, a ray of warm sun shining down on her. It made the green cloak she was wearing shimmer. The length of it ran down to her ankles. With one hand she parted half of it open and held her hip confidently. Her other hand came to draw the hood close around her face. She dipped her chin down posing seductively.

"What do you think of this, my Rose? I saw some of the humans wearing these."

Tourmaline said, "You're beautiful."

Connie blushed. And so did the Pearl standing behind her.

"What?" Connie sputtered, "Which one of you said that?"

Tourmaline blinked her eyes several times and rubbed at them with her knuckles. Pearl was gone. The tree she had stood in front of had been gone a long time too.

"I think I'm seeing my mom's memories. Maybe relieving them a little. They're strong here for some reason."

"Oh." Connie swallowed and put her sword away as if suddenly it was inappropriate to have it out.

Tourmaline rubbed her forehead and squeezed at the bridge of her nose. "It's probably going to get worse as we get closer. I'll be alright. I think it's a good sign. It means Pink was right."

The two of them continued down the path making their way ever closer to the pond. As they marched, the sensations continued: a hand to her shoulder, her arm, a hug wrapped to her chest, a kiss to her lips. Tourmaline frowned and scrubbed nervously at her own lips.

"Nyeh," She muttered.

Whispering through the evergreen trees came the sounds of Pearl and Rose's merry laughter. The rhythm of their unintelligible conversations sounded like Steven's and Peridot's. Heated and passionate and excited with lulls of quiet appreciation. The forest was alive now for the first time since they had arrived. It made Tourmaline smile. They did have something special here.

"Would you sing it for me?"

"Oh no, it's meant to be accompanied by a piano. I wouldn't do it justice."

"Pleeeeease? You don't need a piano. Sing. Sing."

"How could I deny you?"

Tourmaline felt a hot rush to her cheeks as Pearl began to sing in a language that Steven never knew she had known. Tourmaline couldn't recognize which one, but she didn't need to know the words. Pearl's voice soared through the air foreign and angelic. Its beauty was so moving that even the foggy mist about the trees seemed to thin and let in some of the sun's light and warmth. Tourmaline was strolling now down the path, the sound of a forest symphony all around her. All of a sudden, it felt as if she was returning home. Even Connie's steps were lighter as if she could hear it too.

The firs moved aside for them, and the clearing they provided for her was a small grove hidden away from the rest of the world. Pearl's song ended. The forest became shamefully silent again. The pond was there, but it was not a striking blue anymore. It was murky and grey like the mist that hung over the tops of the trees. The only source of vibrant color was a few bits of orange and red needle floating on the surface. The water was not frozen.

"This is it. Right?" Connie asked. She sounded disappointed.

"Yeah."

"Do you see her?"

"No. Everything just stopped when we got here."

Connie shifted uncomfortably. She gripped the strap of Rose's sword, "Maybe you should wait here to see if she shows up. I could check around us. Make sure it's safe."

"Don't go too far," Tourmaline said, "just the edges of the clearing."

Connie nodded and made her way around the pond along the edges of the grove. She was peering around each tree looking for Pink as if instead of a tea party this time it was a game of hide and seek. Tourmaline closed her eyes, still listening to the crunch of Connie's boots as she scouted. Minutes passed, there was only the faint sound of crunching. Then, the forest creaked as if to lean forward to listen. A voice spoke sweetly in front of her.

"When I look at your fusion, all I can see is love."

Tourmaline opened her eyes. She smiled.

"Mom."


	22. Waves of Pink, Storms of Green

The forest remembered the two gems that had romped through its grasses. Since the moment Tourmaline had taken that first step off of the warp pad, the forest had tugged at the edges of her aura. At her feet, it followed asking her if she remembered like an old friend fumbling with an arm full of polaroids. That gem in her gut had belonged to a girl it knew. It recalled the lazy smoke trails of her campfires, the stories that she told, the echo of her laughter. She had shared her love with another here. It had lifted through the branches and needles like a song, and the trees remembered the melody. Now as Pink stood in front of her, it felt like it was neither of their doing. The forest was using the last of its strength to play the notes it knew by heart and when they came together each one made up a part of the image that was smiling at her now. When the tears came, coursing down Tourmaline's cheeks in cold streaks like two icy streams, it was from more than seeing Pink at last. Lying on its deathbed, the forest had manifested her with only its memories so that it could see her one last time and think of better days.

Pink's smile had not disappeared from her lips, but it had from her eyes, they were knowing. "I told you this place was special. I knew you would find me."

Tourmaline let her visor go. She rubbed her eyes with her palms, "I thought the time in my gem... that it would be the last time."

"If there was a way for us to see each other again, nothing could keep me away from you, Steven." Pink drifted through the snow leaving no prints. She set her hands on Tourmaline's arms and gazed down at her thoughtfully. Her touch was the only warmth in this place. On Tourmaline's arms, Pink's hands felt like two pieces of ember that did not burn but gave off warmth like the dying coals of a fire. It was as if the forest only knew warmth by that way.

Tourmaline raised her eyes to Pink's, "The forest… it's not the same. It's dying, and I don't know what to do." Tourmaline grabbed Pink back. The force of it startled her, "You said you would teach Steven how to use his powers. Can you teach him to heal this forest?" Tourmaline lowered her head and closed her eyes, "Please. I can't see another facet die like this. I can… I can feel it dying this time." Pink stood speechless for a moment as she watched fresh tears fall from the fusion's eyes. "All those other facets… the ones I couldn't feel…"

Pink placed a hand to the fusion's cheek and brought her face up to her. Pink spoke firmly, "Don't you worry. We're going to figure it out together. Nothing's going to happen to it. I promise both of you."

Tourmaline sniffled, and at last, she nodded wearily.

Pink was smiling again, she took in a soft breath. "Just look at you. Your fusion," she said with wonder.

Tourmaline met Pink's eyes. She gave her a half smile, the teary trails on her face already fading, giving way to her form of light. Peridot could see what Steven had taken from his mother's eyes. From Greg, he had gotten that dark color, but not that piercing intensity. All her life, Peridot had shied away from other gems that had that look, but never Steven. His gaze was different. She wanted him to see, and sometimes she would get scared of what he would find. The quiet darkness of his eyes always comforted her. It told her that it would be alright. Pink's eyes were piercing and of a brilliant pink. Tourmaline turned her gaze away.

"It was all Steven's fault. He crashed my ship. Then, he captured me and put me in his bathroom." It was all she could find to say, but it made Pink laugh and hug her. Tourmaline stiffened, her hands hovering over Pink's back as she awkwardly accepted the embrace trying not to mess anything up.

Pink's spoke softly from over her shoulder, "I've never seen a Peridot do what you've done. I've never seen one as brave or as strong. You're wonderful."

Tourmaline's face squeezed together as the tears came again. She hugged Pink back and buried her face into a puffy shoulder pad.

Pink held her and stroked the back of her head, her fingers moving lovingly through amber tendrils. "All I've wanted is to have a chance to know you both. Together, you and I will find out what's wrong with the grove. When you take what I teach you to the other Diamonds…" Pink pulled away and touched the tip of her finger to the amber diamond in their stomach. "I'll be with you." She beamed at them.

The crunching of boots in the snow made them both turn their heads.

"It's all clear from what I can tell. No tracks, no sign of anyone," Connie said. She trudged her way around the pond's edge and stood almost next to Pink as she regarded Tourmaline. Pink's eyes found the sword on Connie's back first, then to her face that was sheltered snugly inside her fur hood. For a moment, with the sword strapped to her back, those dark chestnut eyes shadowed under her brow, and her face drawn stony and uncompromising against the cold, Connie looked like a real knight. Even the empty search hadn't seemed to dissuade her.

"She reminds me so much of—"

"What's wrong?" Connie asked softly, "Why are you crying?"

"She's here."

Connie's eyes widen, "Here? Right now?" She looked to her right, straight at Pink. Pink's eyes lit up with hope, but they dimmed when, in the next moment, Connie turned to look to her left.

"I can't…" She took in a breath and sighed with a frown, "see her."

Pink reached out, and her hand seemed to settle right on the girl's shoulder, "It's okay sweetie. At least I can finally see you."

Tourmaline smiled. "She's to your right. Standing next to you." Tourmaline pointed, "She put her hand on your shoulder. She says that it's okay, and she's just happy that she can finally see you."

Pink brightened when Connie looked over at her shoulder and smiled. When Connie looked up to Pink, it was almost as if she was blind, her eyes did not rest entirely center on Pink's face but instead seemed to stare off past her starting somewhere near her shoulder. It didn't matter at all when Connie said, "I just want you to know that we're taking good care of Earth for you. It's safe with us. Nothing bad will happen to it as long as we are here."

"She even sounds like her," Pink said.

Connie turned back to Tourmaline, her eyes shining with hope, "Tell me. What did she say?"

"I'm proud of her," Pink quickly added raising her hand.

"She says she's proud of you."

Connie nodded, satisfied. She stuffed her gloved hands into her coat pockets wearing a shy smile.

Pink turned back to Tourmaline, "I don't know what's wrong with the forest, but I know how to find out. If you are ready now, we can begin. I'm not certain how much longer we have until it can't be brought back." She glanced regretfully at Connie, "This may take awhile."

Connie was still looking to Tourmaline expectantly.

"She doesn't know what's wrong with the forest, but she can show me how to find out. She did say that it's going take a bit."

Connie nodded sharply, "Okay. What do we have to do?"

Pink grimaced. "It only involves you, but it can be done here in the grove. We just need a quiet spot to sit."

"Uh, well. It only takes me. I need to find a spot to meditate here."

"Alright. It's freezing. I'll go out and collect some firewood then," Connie said. She started off to the edge of the clearing.

"You're going to stay?" Tourmaline asked after her.

Connie stopped and whirled around. She looked bewildered, "What? Of course I'm going to stay. I might not be able to see Rose, but I'm not leaving you here alone. There's something here. I feel it. You start poking around with your powers, and it's going to show up."

When Tourmaline turned back to Pink, she had her arms crossed. She was watching Connie stalk off as if the girl wasn't Connie at all but another memory conjured from the forest. The footprints in the snow that were moving away from them seemed to haunt her. Steven had seen that look before, in Pearl's eyes. It was the way she had looked whenever her eyes caught his gem. For a moment Tourmaline thought Pink might go after her. But Pink only looked back to the fusion with a sad little smile.

"This way," she spoke softly and held her hand out, "This spot over here always worked best for me."

Pink led Tourmaline to a place near the pond's edge. The water remained clouded, grey, and still. Pink took Tourmaline's hand and placed something small and round in it. To her surprise, when she opened her hand to look at what it was, the seed was really there. It was brown with purple stripes.

_The organics will die, but they were already doomed from the start._

Her hand trembled, and she almost dropped the seed. When she shut her hand to stop it from falling, she squeezed it hard, then in a panic, she opened her hand again. She held the seed in both of her palms to check and see if she had crushed it. But there it was. Still intact. Still capable of giving life.

"You need to plant it," Pink said.

Tourmaline stared down at the seed that looked so delicate in her hands, "I — maybe," she swallowed hard, "Maybe I should defuse so you can show Steven how to do this." She didn't dare look up from the seed. She kept her head low and waited for Pink's instruction.

There was a warm hand that came to her shoulder. Tourmaline glanced up.

"I'm not here to teach him. I'm here to teach you," Pink said solemnly.

Tourmaline wasn't sure what that meant. Which 'you' it was, but she just nodded dumbly. She sunk to the ground on her knees. She took away the top layer of snow with slow agonizing swipes. With every drag of her hand, Tourmaline could feel Peridot inside her trying to hold her back from digging, afraid to see that black rot the dirt had become. But eventually, she gave up and let Tourmaline pull up the snow. That black rot was the only soil Peridot had ever known to use. She hated the thought of that precious little seed going into it, being swallowed by it, being destroyed by it. But when the snow had been cleared, Tourmaline let out a breath and smiled. The soil underneath wasn't black. It was frozen earth untouched by the corruption.

"Life doesn't give itself up easily. It's tenacious. Like you." Pink gave her a wink.

Tourmaline dug eagerly this time. She relished how the dirt crumbled under her curling fingers. When it was deep enough, she placed the seed carefully inside and covered it up.

"What's next?" Tourmaline sat down cross-legged and held her legs.

"Next, I'll show you how to listen." Pink sat across from her and the planted seed. "Before you can heal or control, you have to understand. I want you to reach out with your aura but instead of connecting to a gem…" She offered an open hand toward the freshly dug soil, "connect your aura to the seed."

"The seed…" Tourmaline breathed, and a plume of smoke issued twisting away in the gloom. She put her hands together in her lap. The tall Douglas firs, the blue pond drained of its color, Connie out there collecting rotten tree branches, all of it fell away from her mind. The only thing that mattered was the seed. Her chance to fix all this. Tourmaline squeezed her eyes shut and let her aura bloom in her chest. It was a chord that was wrapped over and over from Steven to Peridot holding them together. Its length could stretch galaxies and never pull taut, and nothing, not even a planet-shattering explosion, had managed to destroy it. Tourmaline tossed a line now to the seed, and she waited for the other end to catch anchor. A warmth swelled in her chest when the connection snapped together.

"Good," Pink said softly, "now from the seed, I want you to reach out and see what it can connect to. Not from yourself, but from it."

In her mind, Tourmaline could see the seed clearly, buried in the dirt. Blurred shadows were beyond. She pushed further and the trees that surrounded the grove became clear. Another push, the forest broadened, trees standing up behind more trees for miles. She kept going, past the one that had fallen over, past the warp pad. Pink's voice was all around her.

"I spent so much time here because I had much to learn about Earth. I knew nothing when I first arrived, but sitting here, listening, it spoke back and taught me. Nature is like us in many ways, but it has one major difference. It doesn't decide a purpose for itself or try to find one."

"How...how is that a good thing?" Tourmaline whispered.

Pink laughed, and it echoed through the forest that was growing larger in Tourmaline's mind. The forest thinned in places to give room to roads, bridges, and houses until some part of her had left it all together and was standing on a beach. This was a sea she had never seen before. The grove was on the west coast.

"Keep going," Pink said. The aura stretched farther in all directions, farther than she ever thought it could go. It swept across the sea in front of her, and it spread across the land at her back until it was difficult to place where 'she' even was anymore.

Pink's voice always remained with her. "It's not about good or bad. Nature is a force. It's on no one's side and what it does is not for or against anyone. You can try to live your life like that." There was a pause and when Pink's voice came again it was somber. "Some call nature selfish. Gem or human, you can't live like nature. Because it's blameless and you're not."

It was Pink's voice and the seed that called from home. But if she didn't have either, then it would have been so easy to lose herself. There was no longer the Tourmaline sitting at the grove. It was the only place she wasn't. In the deserts, she was a Tourmaline made up of sand. When she walked across its dunes, her movements were not of muscle but of the wind stirring each grain within her. She looked up to the beating sun with eyes that shifted. In the oceans, she was a swell. She was a Tourmaline of which fish swam through. She didn't mind them. She drifted along on her back, the current carrying her. She watched the dull rays of the sun above drape a hazy curtain of gold below the surface of the water. In the mountains, she was Tourmaline of the stone. There she sat at all the peaks of the world, in an uninterruptible meditation, as the wind rushed all around her. She had no eyes to open, they were shut in unyielding concentration, and in some places, her chest stirred with folds of warm magma.

When Pink spoke again, she addressed all the Tourmalines at once. They all turned toward her to listen silently. "What you must understand, before you use your power on nature, whether you use it to heal or to fight, is that you are accountable. The moment you connect your aura to the land and put your will to it, you give it purpose. You have to make sure that purpose is a good one, a noble one, because if you don't, no one else will be responsible for what it does except for you.

"I don't say any of this to scare you. I say it to warn you against the mistakes I've made that I can't take back. To face the Diamonds, you have to be better than I was. I know that you have it in you to be."

The aura had stretched to every corner. When the Tourmalines took a breath, Earth sighed. She was all of them. She had linked to Earth from one tiny seed in the dirt.

"Don't try to be in any one place at a time," Pink said, "let go now. Let yourself wander. I want to see what you find. What it decides to show you. Let it guide you."

Tourmaline let herself go. All the other Tourmalines continued on without her. She was pulled to a hill. It overlooked a grassy valley and above, the sun beamed over all. There in the valley, discarded weapons were sheathed in the earth. Most were rusted, but some glinted as if to signal to their owners where they could be found, still holding out hope. Among the overgrowth, some of the armor of their wielders remained. The bushes that grew inside the breastplates now donned them instead. A Tourmaline of leaves stood on that hill. She spun up it, following a path another had climbed so long ago. When she reached the end, where Jasper had buried it, she came to a stop. Below her feet, she could see without sight, the shards of a sodalite gem.

Tourmaline tried to shed a tear, but only a leaf departed from her face and was carried off into the wind.

Pink's voice came, "So this is what calls to you. A seed from another time and place. Jasper planted it long ago. I am curious to see how she will grow from it."

Tourmaline turned toward the valley where the only thing that had taken up arms was the overgrowth. "I don't want to fight. I don't want to make battlefields of my own like this one. I don't want to take anyone away from anyone else, the way someone took Sodalite from Jasper."

Pink didn't answer at once. Tourmaline rested herself in the silence of the valley and the warmth of the sun.

"Some gems will never join us," Pink said, "Some gems aren't oppressed by the system. They benefit from it, thrive from it, and revel in it. Those gems would rather shatter than see you win. They would rather shatter another gem before they would see them freed. You're not fighting against the ones that suffer, but you fight against the ones that would make others suffer.

"There is another type of gem that I hope you never meet. The ones that suffer and are only a part of the system to force others to suffer with them. I thought Jasper was one of those, but she was only a lost one. You will have those too. They follow the Diamonds because they know nothing else."

A cold breeze drifted through the leafy form of Tourmaline. It almost scattered her to the wind, and she wanted to let it. But Pink's voice came for her again.

"Let's concentrate on the grove now. Turn your attention back here. We will find the source of the corruption."

Tourmaline let herself leave the hill. As she tried to turn her eyes back to the seed to follow it home, the other Tourmalines called out to her first. Pink had told her to return, but something was tugging her away, adamant to guide her like she had been guided to the hill. This tug was desperate. Instead of returning to the grove, she visited each Tourmaline in turn, but something was different now.

In the desert, a Tourmaline stood underneath a sun that was harsh. It blinded and drained. Another stood amidst a Sandstorm that screamed and thrashed itself across the dunes. It tore away at anything that came near with biting nails. In the ocean, a Tourmaline stood on the bottom of the sea. No longer was there a hazy curtain of gold. The sun's light hadn't been able to chase her this far. Neither could its warmth follow. She was wrapped in complete darkness, and from every side, an unrelenting pressure threw itself against her. It wanted to crush her completely. In the mountains, a Tourmaline stood on the edge of a cliff. It invited an abrupt drop that would take her flailing off the side and into the wind only to break on the unforgiving rock side.

Tourmaline turned away and tried to return to the seed, to the grove, but now there were no other Tourmalines. She was alone, stumbling around in the infinite darkness.

"Mom?!" She cried.

There was no answer. She couldn't even feel the seed. She held her hands out and felt around watching her feet as she walked. When she fell against something, she stumbled back. Tourmaline looked up. It was herself. But this one wasn't like the other Tourmalines. This one was disconnected. It had her skin like the color of a lemon. It wore her orange crop top, blue jean shorts, and her golden stockings. It had her hair and eyes of amber. But when it stared back at her, the eyes were unfeeling. The mouth turned down in disdain. A tangle of pink energy began to snake down her shoulder to the tips of her fingers. The corrupting light.

Tourmaline backed away, "NO!" she shouted at it. The Other's mouth shot open, and that unnatural tune poured from it.

"Aah-haa-haa, aah-haa-haa."

"Noooooo!" Tourmaline covered her face with her hands so she wouldn't have to look at those dead eyes. But she could still hear her singing.

"Aah-haa-haa-haa-haa-haa-haa."

The other Tourmaline's, they had brought her back to show her that nature had two sides. The side that gave, and the side that took. She had two sides too. One that only wanted to heal, and the other who was born to destroy. Tourmaline brought her hands away from her face and balled them into fists at her sides. She shouted back at the other her, "Pink said there was a choice! I can choose! I want to heal!"

The other her stopped singing. She snapped her mouth shut. In the next moment The Other, without taking a step, stood in front of her, inches away from her face. Tourmaline tried to step back, but couldn't.

"Such fury," The Other whispered back with a voice that didn't belong to her, "And we both know, when it gets too hard, what you will do with it."

"...no," Tourmaline said in a small voice.

The other her smiled, "All you know is destruction. You try to justify it with love, but you don't know anything else. Lightning." She smirked, "Even what you offer him when you fuse is a tool of death. And now you try to learn what he has to offer. What will you do with it? The only thing you know how to do. It's no wonder Pink loves you."

In the darkness, there was a blinding explosion of amber. Steven was thrown flat on his back into the snow. His ears were ringing. He couldn't make out the shout and muffled words that followed. He opened his eyes with a groan. His vision was blurry, turning all of the evergreen trees into fluffy green and brown smears. Steven tried to prop himself up on his elbow but fell back over dizzy.

"You can't teach me! Teach Steven!" Peridot was crying.

"I don't understand. Tell me what you saw." It was Pink's voice.

"I'm not the warmth, not the gentle waves, I'm not the stable ground." Peridot's voice caught in her throat. She sobbed harder before she finally said softly, "I'm the sandstorm, I'm the pressure, I'm the fall."

Steven was clawing at the snow and grunting as he struggled to pull himself up. He had to get to her. To tell her those things weren't true. He pushed himself up on his knees breathing heavily. He had tried to hold onto her, and she had ripped the fusion so hard it felt like she had taken a few pieces of him with her. He lifted his head. She was curled up in the snow with her arms wrapped underneath her legs and her face buried against her knees. Pink was looking to him for what to do. She watched him crawl, slowly dragging himself. Then she turned back to Peridot.

"You're differ—"

"I was created to kill places! JUST. LIKE. THIS. ONE. You want to know what I saw? The forest knows. It did talk to me like you wanted it to. And it knows who I am and what I've done." A sob seized her chest, "And it hates me."

"That wasn't the grove. This place is kind. Whatever you saw, whatever it told you. It's not true." Pink said. But Peridot cried harder.

Before he could reach her, Steven fell back down on his side hard. His legs felt exactly how they did after the destabilization blast at the spire. They were useless noodles. He brought his fist down in the snow. He had told Garnet. He had warned her. Peridot was still learning. All of this was too much on her. He expected too much. He had trusted Garnet and shared the weight of healing the grove with her, and now this was the result. Steven started to push himself up and try for another run at reaching Peridot, but when he looked up from the ground, he saw Connie was already there, kneeling beside her.

Connie put her arms around Peridot's shuddering body and held her. The small green gem stifled her sobs and went quiet. She raised her head and let her visor go to look at Connie with bleary blue eyes.

Connie smiled. "The only reason I'm here with you and Steven, the only reason I'm here doing what I love, is because of you. My parents made me feel like I didn't have a choice. That I wasn't good enough if I didn't do what they said I should. But you showed me that I had a choice. You made me feel brave enough to leave when they kicked me out. You protected everyone in beach city from 8LG, and when I saw that, I knew there was nothing else I wanted to do."

Peridot grasped at Connie's coat and hugged her.

"I want to remind you of what you taught me," Connie said, holding her head over the green gem's shoulder, "That you can be more than what people say you are. What they want you to be. You can choose. If this grove doesn't like it, too bad. Show it who you are now." Connie lowered her eyes, "I know I haven't said it. It was hard before. But... thank you. When I came out here to protect Tourmaline, I came to protect both my friends. Steven and you."

Peridot moved back and wiped at her eyes with a hand. She smiled weakly at Connie.

Pink held her hands over her heart and beamed.

Steven smiled and sat up with a struggle. The feeling was coming back into his legs.

Then, there was a snap of a branch and the rustle of a bush. They looked between themselves to one another. Connie stood up and turned toward the sound. She pulled down her hood. The sound was coming from beyond the small pile of sticks that Connie had collected. Pink moved between them and stood in front of all of them with her arm held out like a barrier. Peridot saw Steven for the first time now sitting in the snow limply. She crawled over to him quickly, but her eyes were locked in the direction of the sound.

"I'm so sorry, Steven. Are you okay?" Peridot whispered and kissed his face. She put a hand to his cheek. Steven pulled her into his arms. He held her away from the direction his head was turned. He was staring at the edge of the grove.

 _SHING_  "Show yourself!"

Connie's command boomed through the grove.

The thicket at the edge of the grove trembled again. Connie leaned forward squeezing the hilt of the sword in her hands. Peridot clutched at Steven.

Jasper forced the bushes out of her way. The snow shook off of them in patches revealing the healthy plants underneath. She stepped out into the open with a scowl.

"You should save that for when our true enemy reveals themselves," Jasper said.

Connie relaxed and Pink put her arm down straightening up.

"Did you see something?" Connie asked.

"No. But I've fought enemies that hide before. Moonstones." She grunted and winced as if getting a bad taste of something, "This is what it feels like when they watch you. Everything in this facet feels like it's watching you."

"Moonstone?"

Jasper was looking them all over with mild curiosity as she answered, "Infiltrators. Scouts. They have the ability to alter their light form and become invisible. Rose used some of them during the war. She used one to spy inside the spire of knowledge. That's how she knew the gems there were building the destabilization rod in hopes of turning the tide of the war."

Pink smirked proudly.

"But I was good at hunting them down. Seeing the signs of their presence. I shattered the one she sent to the spire."

Pink frowned.

"So you think there could be one here?" Connie asked.

"It's a possibility." Jasper walked over and joined them. Pink stepped aside to let her through and folded her hands over her diamond.

As Jasper and Connie spoke in front of them, Steven turned his gaze down to Peridot. She was looking up at him. She tried to speak up and apologize again, but he silenced it with a kiss. She lifted her butt and pressed her hands against his chest trying to push the apology to him through her lips. He wouldn't take it. His hands found the back of her thighs. When he squeezed, she bit her lip to keep herself from moaning as loud as she wanted. But he could hear it in her throat. It was low enough not to attract attention to them. Her cheeks flushed, and she sat down on her knees between his legs. It forced his hands to find a new home on her sides. Her whole body eased as she pushed into his chest and then curled up in his arms. He felt at home like this, being her shelter. The strength had returned to his body enough that he was confident he could probably stand again if he wanted. He shivered. He was only wearing his normal outfit. He hadn't planned on defusing. Peridot put a small hand to his chest, and in the next moment, a wave of heat radiated off of her form. He didn't want to stand just yet. Peridot brought her lips back to his and kissed him softly.

"So how did you find us?" Connie was asking Jasper.

Jasper snorted, "You didn't even bother to hide your tracks. The only ones in bright white snow leading away from the warp pad. It was easy once Pearl told me which facet I could find you in. She requested that I make sure you both were safe." Jasper frowned, "I don't take orders from a pearl, but I didn't think her idea was a stupid one."

"Steven and Peridot are here to practice some new powers. They're going to heal the forest. But I think you're right. There's something else out there."

"Then we find it," Jasper said.

"What do you mean? Like, hunt it down?"

"Why sit here and wait for it to attack us? If Tourmaline agrees, she can stay here and do what she's come here to do. We will hunt the gem ourselves. If it's a moonstone, I can find it."

"And leave them alone? No way." Connie said. She crossed her arms.

"You're worried about a Diamond? Whoever it is, Moonstone or not, I would fear more for what will happen to it if it decides to foolishly attack Tourmaline directly. I am more interested in capturing it so that I can gain information. Determine why it's here and what it's trying to accomplish. We are here to ensure that our Diamond performs what she has come here to do."

"Maybe that's what you're here to do.  _I'm_  here to look out for my friends."

Jasper chuckled, "You're as naive as that sapphire and ruby fusion if you don't understand the same thing I told her. She doesn't need your protection."

Connie turned around, "Steven what do you think ab—"

Steven couldn't answer with Peridot's lips over his. Her arms were looped around his neck, and she had been sharing her warmth and kisses with him.

Connie blushed and cleared her throat loudly. Pink giggled.

Steven pulled away to Peridot's blinking confusion.

"Steven. What do you think about what Jasper said?" Connie repeated, a little flustered.

Steven scratched at the side of his head idly, while Peridot slowly lowered her face down into his shoulder hiding it.

Jasper stepped forward, "With your permission Tourmaline, Connie and I will track down the enemy that hides in this facet. You will be free to conduct your affairs here without interruption."

Steven gave them a thumbs up. Without raising her head, Peridot gave them one too.

"Are you sure about this?" Connie asked. She glanced at Jasper. "You're going to be okay here? Alone?"

Steven turned his eyes up to Pink. She smiled warmly at him. "I'm not alone."


	23. The Choice

Long after the ones that made them were gone, Pink considered the two sets of tracks that lead from the grove and back into the forest. With Peridot still in his arms, Steven watched her. Pink followed the winding path with her eyes until there came the point in which she stepped off that trail and gazed farther than the footprints could actually lead. Past the trees even. It was like what Tourmaline could see when she connected to the seed except instead of her sight extending in distance, Pink's extended in time.

Steven turned his gaze down to Peridot, who hadn't got her arms all the way around him and had instead settled for coiling her fingers into the back of his shirt. She needed him to believe in her, but he had faltered. Connie had stepped in. He should be the one apologizing, not Peridot. But why did he have to ask her for so much? The first thing that he needed help with, and it required facing down the hardest part of her life.

"Let's keep trying," Steven whispered down to Peridot.

When she brought her face up to him, he placed a kiss on her nose that made her wrinkle it. It forced a smile out of her she wasn't sure she wanted to give up. She peeked over her shoulder at Pink who was still lost in thought. Steven followed her gaze, but his eyes caught the pile of sticks Connie had collected for a fire. Peridot's voice floated over to him through the aura link. It was soft as if somehow Pink still might be able to hear her.

_Are you sure?_

Steven smiled. He would start with something smaller.

_I need your help. Without your lightning, I can't get our fire started. Wet wood doesn't burn easily. Connie was counting on us to start it. She didn't bring anything to light it with except us._

Peridot untangled herself from him. She looked over to the pile of sticks reluctantly then down to her own hand as if it couldn't be trusted.

_I don't know._

Steven took her hand in his. He turned it over with her palm facing up. It was the first time he noticed that she had no palm lines. No little crevices spelling out destiny or disaster. It was completely smooth and soft. Blank. He made a show of inspecting each finger very carefully and 'hmming' to himself. As he went, her fingers would twitch or curl under his gaze. He glanced up, and her blue eyes were worryingly darting over her palm following the trail he had made up. When she reached the end, she looked up at him in quiet distress. He turned her hand back over and raised it to his lips. He kissed two of her knuckles.

_It doesn't look dangerous to me._

He loved seeing that flustered look on her face — the way her lips would fight to smile and screw up into a pout at the same time. Peridot blushed and turned her eyes away.

_It is dangerous when I get mad._

Steven pulled her hand to the side of his face and held it there. After a few moments passed, he felt the graze of her thumb against his cheek in slow surrendering swipes.

_It's only dangerous for the people that are hurting the ones you're trying to protect. That other Tourmaline, whatever it is, was wrong. You don't destroy. You protect. Even my shield has spikes, Peridot._

That made her eyes return to his.

_It's passion — not fury._

Steven threaded his fingers between hers.

_Now if I'm going to be the worst student that my mom's ever had, I'm going to need your help to pass._

Peridot snorted a small laugh, but she squeezed his hand back.

 _I'm excellent at exams._  She winked.

 _Great because I suck at those._  Steven grinned.  _I'm really good at anything hands on._  He squeezed her butt causing her to jump forward with a yelp and crash against him laughing. Their faces hovered near as he chuckled with her. With a mischievous smile playing across her lips, Peridot shot up, quick as lightning, and kissed him. A surge raced through him like his heart had skipped a beat. Her lips parted his. As he felt her tongue lick him, a dull roar began to build between his ears. Peridot's arms looped around his neck. She thrust her whole body into his. Steven opened his eyes wide, and her eyes were searing amber. They burned with love like two flames fed by a sudden craving to have him. They were his eyes too. He stared back at her with that same amber gaze. She threw her head back and moaned and giggled as it professed his need for her without him having to say a word. Her whole body seemed to flicker like that flame in his arms, her back arching, her shoulders moving back, and her hips swaying. Their lips rejoined. When they came together again, and she squeezed him, asking him to give her everything, that sound between his ears that had gathered like a storm, thundered. With their lips together, they took each other's breath. Tourmaline toppled back into the snow and exhaled it.

She laid there on the snowy ground, on her back, spread out in all directions, smiling blissfully.

Tourmaline turned her head. Pink stood over them, her smile brightening the gloomy grey sky over her shoulder. Tourmaline smiled back.

"You were doing so well. Ready to try again?" Pink asked.

"Almost." Tourmaline got up, and the snow slid right off of her. "First I have to get a fire going."

She crunched her way past Pink to the fire pit. Next to it was a log, dragged there by two different gems long ago. Tourmaline stood before the pit. She rolled her shoulders and shook them, the amber sparks dancing down her arms. She reached out but stopped. Instead, she turned her hands over, palms facing up, and watched the sparks flit between her fingers. They bounced and skipped around in her palm almost playfully.

Pink spoke behind her, "Yellow tried to teach me. I never got the hang of it. I asked her once what she thought of right before she let one of her bolts go, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. She said to me... 'White.'" Tourmaline watched the sparks chase each other between her slender fingers. "What do you think about?"

Tourmaline turned to her, "Steven."

Pink folded her hands over her diamond and went silent.

Tourmaline laughed, "No, not like that."

Pink smiled, "Oh." Then she cocked her head to the side, "Then how is it like?"

Tourmaline blushed amber and wheeled around. She knelt and laid her hands on two logs. They were big enough that Connie must have had to split them with her sword. They roared to life at her touch, the current running through them causing them to burst into flames. She watched it burn. It reminded Peridot of that first fire that Steven had started for her: sharing marshmallows side by side watching the first snowfall of winter. And all day she had been looking for a chance to try to kiss him. The optimal moment, all parameters perfect. She smiled. That's what it was like. A tension building up that seemed to last all day, waiting for the perfect time to release, but all the while begging for relief, and then — when you knew you couldn't hold it back any longer — it burst out of you and there was his lips and he was turning to you and he was saying that he did feel the same and. A spark jumped off of Tourmaline's hand, startling her. She giggled to herself and stood up. She brushed an amber lock away from her visor.

"I'm ready now," She told Pink.

Pink had her sit down again in the same spot near the pond. They sat across from each other with the seed between them in the ground. The pond's waters were calm. It's surface still grey, still impenetrable, and unfrozen. For a moment Tourmaline almost thought she saw a bubble rise from below and pop. She blinked.

"To heal the corruption of this place, we have to know where it is." Pink interrupted. Tourmaline brought her attention back to her. "Connect to the seed again. Use it to root yourself here. One day you won't need it. If you keep practicing, you'll be able to use anything. A tree, a flower, anything that lives, anything that is near."

Tourmaline closed her eyes and once again offered her aura link to the seed. It snapped instantly almost without effort. That made her smile. She could see Steven in her head grinning at Peridot.

_See? See. You're already getting good at this._

_*We* are getting good at this._

But Tourmaline kept smiling, eyes closed, waiting for Pink's instruction.

"We're not going to go very far. You have been listening. It's time for the grove to hear you in return. Remember what I've said, nature has no purpose other than itself. If you ask, it will answer whether you like the answer or not. If you command, it will follow, only distinguishing what you call as right or wrong."

Tourmaline shifted uncomfortably. In her mind, waiting in silence, she stood in the darkness, and before her, was the pond only and its still waters

Pink's voice came again, "Ask the grove what you want to know."

Beyond the pond, on the edges of the darkness, evergreen trees began to rise. It was as if they were all kneeling knights hearing the call of their queen. They towered over Tourmaline as they stood and behind them, all around her, more trees rose. They were here for her. The forest leaned forward and looked down upon the girl that would listen. They had no eyes but all of them were on the Diamond in her stomach.

Tourmaline raised her head to them. She removed her visor. The aura was blooming in her chest, and she opened her mouth to shout, but the words did not come from there.

_Show me the source of the corruption._

A gust blew from behind her, and all the trees shook and swayed to it. Her words seemed to be moving through their numbers like the wind, each turning to the other to ask with a rustle of their needles. The tempest of her command was sweeping through them in a roar of deafening sound like a hundred waves crashing against the rocks simultaneously. Then, suddenly, silence fell. The wind dropped as if it had never come. Tourmaline stood staring up at them all, shifting foot to foot slowly. The trees began to whisper. A faint hissing sound on the edge of comprehension. One over there. Then another tree behind that one. Behind her. She turned around. Then to her left. She looked. Then to her right. She whirled around. The whispers grew louder and louder as she chased them and finally the words began to form. The trees were repeating them over and over again to themselves, each having a different word like holding separate pieces to a puzzle.

(I thought)

(Thought)

(Thought)

(I was a)

(I thought)

(I thought I was a)

(I was a)

(But you…)

(You)

(Monster)

(Monster)

(I thought I was a)

(Brute)

(I thought I was a brute)

(But you)

(You're a)

(Monster)

(I thought I was a brute, but you...you're a monster)

It was Jasper's voice. Tourmaline recognized it — her words. The trees were speaking with Jasper's voice. But she hadn't asked the grove about Jasper. The grove was corrupted even before Jasper had gotten here. She raised her eyes to the trees again.

_Take me to Jasper._

Tourmaline jerked forward almost falling over completely. The trees blurred past her, the pond vanishing. She reached out trying to grab anything to steady herself, and her hand found solid bark. The forest came to a sudden stop, the world wobbling back into a stable existence. She bent over, amber locks hanging over her eyes. She opened her mouth, but nothing came. She thanked the stars that she wasn't only Steven or it would have been goodbye to his breakfast. Tourmaline groaned, her stomach still churning. She raised her head at the sound of voices traveling through the Douglas firs.

"What do you mean?" It was Connie's voice.

"Are you a soldier or gem dust?" Jasper's.

"I'm a knight," Connie answered.

There was a chuckle, branches breaking, and the crunching of snow under boots. They were coming closer. Tourmaline waited.

"Whatever you humans call it matters not. A true warrior has a mind. So think with yours if you are to be of use to our Diamond. Why did Tourmaline really come out here to cure this forest of its corruption?"

There was a pause. Tourmaline hoped Connie wouldn't mention Pink. It would only complicate things, especially since Jasper wouldn't be able to see her.

"She cares about the forest because its part of the Earth, and it's under our protection." Connie replied, "She doesn't want it to die."

Tourmaline smiled.

"No."

There was a huff. "Alright. Well, you tell me what she's really doing out here then. With your mind."

Tourmaline didn't need to see her to know Jasper was wearing a very wide and very satisfied smile. She could hear it in her voice.

"Tourmaline is here to learn how to cure corruption. You told me yourself she is here to learn a new power. No one else possesses this knowledge, and no other Diamond has ever learned to reverse it."

"...You really think so?"

Jasper grunted. They came into Tourmaline's line of sight. Connie was ahead with her sword out but resting over her shoulder. Jasper was behind her peering around each tree and inspecting the ground very slowly.

"If only I could help, I would." Jasper rested herself against a tree, "I once knew a gem that knew much of corruption."

Connie looked back at her, "Was she like a scientist gem or something?"

Jasper frowned, "No, she spent most of her servitude to the Diamonds guarding the spires of knowledge. I met her when I was stationed at the Earth's spire to protect it from the rebels…" Jasper stopped. She looked around slowly, then to Tourmaline's surprise, she stared straight at her.

"What?" Connie was looking around too.

Jasper stood up from her spot against the tree and turned away from Tourmaline, not seeing her, "It is the feeling again. Like we are being watched. Let's move. I still see no signs of this moonstone, but I know it is something."

Tourmaline followed after them. She didn't need to, but she hid, stepping between the trees.

"So she knew about corruption? Even though she was just a guard?"

Jasper glanced up from the ground as she walked, "What?"

"This other gem," Connie said, "You said she knew things."

They continued for a while in silence.

When Jasper finally answered, she said, "She spoke like no other gem I had ever heard. She knew more than any one gem should have known — or was allowed to know." Jasper turned her eyes up to the sky as if trying to see some distant star through the fog above their heads. "She talked of other planets, ones with mountains of black glass. Obsidian ridges rising underneath purple starlight. She recounted battles won long ago and victories of gems that I had never heard of. She knew of the first temples and spires built to the Diamonds. She had seen their sketches and murals." Connie stopped to listen. Jasper stopped next to her but didn't meet her gaze. "She spent her time at those spires doing more than just guarding them. She learned from them. She could sound like a traitor and the most loyal subject that the Diamond's possessed in a single sentence."

"Where is she? Could we find her? Maybe you are right, and she could help Tourmaline find a cure for the corruption."

"She is here on Earth."

Tourmaline leaned the side of her head against the tree she was hiding behind. She closed her eyes and hugged herself against the bark.

"Here? On Earth? Really?" Connie asked.

"She fell in battle." Jasper's voice was cold and even, "As the war dragged on, we needed all resources. Even some of the guardians of the spire were called."

"Oh," Connie lowered her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Jasper moved past her and took up the lead. Connie followed her. Tourmaline came after. All three of them traveled together in silence. After a while, Jasper spoke up again.

"After Earth, I was recognized as a war hero. I even had the privilege to meet with Yellow's Emerald. As a reward for my service, she asked me where I wished to be stationed. I told her of all the spires of knowledge, and I requested that she rotate me through all of them. She granted my request."

Connie smiled. "Awww. You wanted to walk all the places that she had walked. That's…"

Jasper came to a halt and whirled around. She glared at Connie, her eyes searching, but Connie just seemed confused, "Do you mock me?"

"No. I just thought it was…"

"What?" Jasper spat.

Connie looked down, "Sad."

The anger drained from Jasper just as soon as it had erupted. She loomed over Connie. "No more questions." Then she straightened up and started to trudge through the snow again. Connie moved to keep up with her.

"Wait. At least answer me this. I've always wanted to go to space. To see what's out there. What was it like? To see all the places that she saw? So many views?"

Jasper was marching fast, not even studying the ground, no longer interested in the hunt. She only cared that she was moving away from something. "I don't remember what any of them looked like."

"You must remember at least one. One that stood out to you?"

"No." Jasper snapped.

Connie was getting frustrated. She blew out an exasperated breath, "Alright. So when you climbed to the top of one those other spires, and you looked out, what did you see?"

Jasper answered without looking back, "Earth."

Tourmaline stopped. She watched the two of them continue, weaving quietly through the snowy forest. She leaned against a tree and buried her face into the crook of her arm. Her thoughts returned to that grassy hill, to blue gem shards speckled with black buried in the ground. She wished that Jasper was right, that she was here to find a cure for the corruption. But In Garnet's burning room the bubbled gems would remain. They were war relics just as much as the discarded weapons and armor rusting on that battlefield. All of them forgotten.

_You have to take your place._

Tourmaline brought a hand down to her Diamond. She was rushing to the same past. To more battlefields, to more deaths, to more corruption. The tips of her fingers lingered against its smooth cut. She drew her hand back. She pushed herself off of the tree and spun around to face the forest that watched her, waiting for her command.

Her face was angled up to them, her brow set hard over her amber eyes, lips drawn into a firm line. She curled her hands into fists.  _Take me to the corruption._

She squeezed her eyes closed this time as the forest carried her off. The trees whispered to her as she passed them. The voices carried none of the growl of Jasper's.

(I was)

(I was terrible)

(I was)

(I liked it)

(I needed to)

(Needed to)

(Hate)

(I hated)

(You)

(I hated you)

(I needed to)

(Terrible)

(Liked it)

The voices fell silent. Tourmaline opened her eyes. She stood in front of the pond, its waters unfrozen. The trees loomed so tall and with their heads seeming to bow. Tourmaline slowly looked around. This was the grove. This didn't make any sense. If any place was free from the corruption, it was this place. Tourmaline approached the water's edge. The pond's surface was a sheet of murky glass. She lowered herself to her knees in the snow but left no marks as Pink didn't. She leaned over and tapped her finger to the water and the surface rippled. The rings formed a small mirror in front of her and the grey drained until all that was left was a reflection —a reflection of Tourmaline.

She raised her head, "I know what you think of me, but I'm not going to give up. I'm going to heal you whether you like me or not. I'm going to save you." Tourmaline curled her fingers into the snow and lowered her head, locks of amber drawing against her face. "You are not forgotten. I'm going to make it right. For all the kindergartens I've created, for all the shards that are in the cluster, for all the bubbles in the burning room." She looked up from underneath her lowered brow to the trees. "I'm going to save you, and then I'm going to save everyone else, and I won't forget even one."

A warm hand came to her arm. Tourmaline knew who it was before the voice came to her.

"Being a good leader requires making hard decisions. War carries a hard price. Those were my prices. I don't expect you to take them on."

Tourmaline turned to Pink who was sitting on her knees beside her, "No. I won't forget them. I won't make anyone else pay. I will pay for it. You said I could choose. I have to fight the Diamonds differently than you did."

Pink looked troubled, the grip on Tourmaline's arm became tighter, "You will, but you have to realize the more you give of yourself, the less you have. The ones you want to save are prepared to fight for their freedom. How will you pay their prices?"

"Love," Tourmaline said firmly, "No gem is my enemy. I won't fight them like they are."

Pink let her go and folded her hands over her Diamond. She bowed her head. "Love isn't enough. I wish it were. You will have to fight, and gems will die."

Tourmaline jumped up and faced Pink, "How can you say that?"

Pink didn't look up, "Because if I don't prepare you to face the truth, you won't return to me."

All of the fight left Tourmaline. 8LG's words came to her.  _This is what you all want!_ To fight. To shatter. To destroy her. But it wasn't what Tourmaline wanted. She whispered, "It is enough. It has to be."

A voice came from behind Pink. "What does this place even mean anymore? Does it mean anything to you?"

Tourmaline turned her eyes to the voice that Steven had heard every day of his life. Pearl. She was standing where the seed was planted. In front of her was Rose. Tourmaline looked between Pink and the image of Rose. Rose stood with her hands folded over her dress where the rotated Diamond in her stomach was. Her face, framed against two curly pink tuffs of bang and two ringlets at her shoulders, was staring at Pearl helplessly. Her lips were moving wordlessly, trying to grasp for the right ones. She never got to them before Pearl spoke again.

When she did, Pearl said it with tears welling in her eyes, her lip trembling, her hands balled into fists that shook at her side as if the words themselves were breaking her form of light apart, "I won't do this anymore. You have to choose. It's him or me."

"I can't," Rose whispered, "don't make me. Please...don't make me."

"Choose!" Pearl shrieked before she burst into heaving sobs. She buried her face into her hands.

"I love both of you," Rose said. She took a few steps toward Pearl, her hand reaching out for her.

Pearl jerked away from her. Slowly, she withdrew. Then Tourmaline saw it. When Pearl ran away or wanted to be alone, or she would shut down, and nothing could bring her back except time, it was the look that she made, and this was the first time she had made it. This was the moment in which Pearl's eyes lost a spark that she could never get back. The image of what had been there had taken over, and this was Pearl's eyes coming back into focus to see the real thing. To see that she didn't recognize Rose at all. In Pearl's eyes was the pain and the hollowness that would always remember what use to be there instead of what was there now.

"I'll never set foot back here again," Pearl said, her voice carrying that same hollowness.

She turned and walked away, the grove at her back. Rose stood alone with her tears. The trees watched Pearl leave, but Rose didn't watch her. Instead, she turned her eyes down to the footprints in the snow that Pearl left behind. The last ones she'd ever make here.

Tourmaline got down in the snow next to Pink and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Tears were falling from those brilliant eyes.

"She still loves you," Tourmaline said, "I know she does."

Pink's shoulders shook softly in her arms, "Rather than come herself, she sent Jasper to find you. A gem she doesn't even trust. We both have to face it." Pink put her arms around the fusion and squeezed her back, "it's not enough, as much as both of us want it to be. I don't want you to learn that lesson the way I had to."

Tourmaline looked back to the image of Rose. Rose was sitting in the snow, her dress gathered all around her. She was crying with Pink.

"The corruption is slow moving," Pink said looking across the pond, "I feel it. It will be a few months before it spreads completely. We have time. Plenty of time."

"I'm ready now," Tourmaline said.

The image of Rose faded away. Pink pulled away and patted the fusion's hand, "I've taught you enough today. More than I should. Go now. Be with family, with friends. Be with Greg. He still needs you. But come back, and I will be here for you."

Tourmaline had forgotten all about the Christmas shopping with everyone. The forest felt timeless. The layer of fog that lingered permanently above them obscured the sun. It held the grove in a dimension where the past and present held no distinction.

As if reading her mind, Pink said, "This place has a special ability to bring the past back to life. Go. Enjoy your present. There is no need to pay any price today." Pink kissed their cheek and hugged them.

The darkness returned to Tourmaline's mind. Then, she blinked her eyes open. She was sitting across from the seed, but Pink was gone. Her senses came back to her gradually. She slowly became aware of the fire crackling at her back.

"Are you okay, my Diamond?"

Tourmaline looked over her shoulder. Jasper was sitting on the log next to the fire. Beside her was Connie leaning forward, chin pressed to her chest, asleep. She must have taken longer than she thought if they had time to make it back.

Tourmaline stood up, "Yeah," she ran her hands through her hair, "I'm okay."

"I regret to report that our search turned up nothing. There is no sign of any other gem in this facet." Jasper almost looked tired for once as if their hike had actually worn her down.

"Thank you for looking out for me, Jasper."

Jasper gave her a small smile. Tourmaline turned back to the pond. She gazed over its surface, still murky and colorless.

"Let's go home."

Behind her, Jasper shook Connie awake.

"Uuhhhmmmuhhh what?" Connie stirred. Tourmaline left the pond and joined them next to the fire.

Jasper was still smiling, "Your endurance is lacking  _knight_."

Connie screwed her face up to Jasper, but when she saw her smiling, she broke into one too. She scrubbed at her eyes with her palm. Then, she looked to Tourmaline blinking slowly. "So did you learn what you needed to?"

Maybe it was what she needed but not what she wanted, "Yes but not all of it. I'll be coming back here again to learn more. It will take some time, but the corruption is moving slowly. Let's head home. My dad's probably back."

Connie and Jasper got up. Jasper stomped the fire out gracelessly. Tourmaline started toward the warp pad following the path underneath the snow that only Pink and Pearl knew. She took the lead with Connie and Jasper following side by side.

"I almost forgot about the Christmas shopping," Connie said, combing her fingers through her dark hair, "I need to go too. Pick up some last minute gifts."

"What is this Christmas?" Jasper asked.

Connie turned to Jasper, disbelieving, "You haven't heard of Christmas yet?"

Jasper gave her an irritated stare.

Connie didn't seem phased. "Okay, well first there's Santa, and he lives in the north pole." She explained as they walked together.

"The north pole of this planet?" Jasper was skeptical, "Why does he hide there?"

Connie giggled, and Tourmaline smiled as she listened.

"He isn't hiding. He has a workshop up there, and he makes toys and gifts to give people. Also, there are elves there too."

"Elves?"

"Elf. Think small humans with pointy ears."

"Is this workshop a fortress to defend Santa against these elf creatures?"

Connie covered her mouth grinning.

"I don't believe any of this human nonsense. You are making this up," Jasper grumbled.

"No," Tourmaline called over her shoulder, "It's true."

Jasper turned back to Connie, "Tell me more of this Santa."

"Well, the elves work for Santa. Not against him."

"Ah, so they are his soldiers," Jasper said pleased.

"Well no not quite…"

Pink stood at the edge of the grove watching the three of them wind through the trees. Her smile faded as her gaze dropped to their footprints in the snow. She turned away and let them go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. The holidays have kept me busy so this one took a little longer than I wanted to get out. But I just wanted to say thank you for reading and if I don't see you again before Christmas, Merry Christmas!


	24. An Eternity

"Wait out here while I put the finishing touches on it," Peridot said, but she lingered, still holding onto his hand in both of her smaller ones. They stood across from each other in the temple doorway, the curtains of their room stirring over her shoulder to a slight breeze. On her head, about halfway to the peak of her hair, were the goggles they had worn as Tourmaline. When they defused, she was the one that kept them. Her hair was struggling to retain its normal shape despite the strap, but all it did was cause all the blonde strands to explode out through the rubber loop like a golden mushroom cloud that hadn't formed it's round top yet. She still hadn't let go of his hand. It always felt like this right after they defused.

Steven smiled, "I'll wait, but if you take too long I'm coming back in there to get you."

She turned her eyes down. One of her fingers traced a line from his palm to his ring finger. It made him shiver. "Maybe I should extend the duration on purpose then," She said.

But it seemed that his disclaimer was enough to convince her that it was okay to let go of him. As Peridot stepped back, he could see a darker patch of green under her visor before the temple door thudded shut. When it came to a close, he put his hand, still warm from her touch, on the cold door where the amber dot was. Her thoughts and feelings were already fading away from him: bits of mechanical jargon, shreds of suit schematic, and the desperate hope that Connie would love her present because this was her very first Christmas.  _Do you like it? Of course you do, I mean really how could— Ahhhh. No. No. That won't do. Do you remember that gem that tried to kill us all? Well I made you a suit just like hers! Gah no. What about..._  Then it was gone. Steven sighed softly. She was taking too long already. After Christmas shopping yesterday, he had stayed up all night and most of today as Tourmaline helping Peridot build the rest of Connie's suit. Now she wanted to finish one last part herself. It was just in time. Tomorrow was Christmas day.

Reluctantly, Steven turned away and headed for the living room. In the kitchen, Connie had hooked up her laptop, the one that she was supposed to use for college, with two small speakers. It was playing the end of a Christmas song, and Pearl was humming along to it. She opened the oven and bent down to slide a tray of chocolate chip cookies inside. Most of the cookies were for them, but Pearl always dedicated a portion to Santa's plate.

The Christmas tree, the one Tourmaline, and Amethyst had bought from Ray for double the cost, was glowing red and green in the corner next to the window. Underneath were all the presents they had bought yesterday. One, in particular, made Steven smile. It was a green box with a pink ribbon sitting underneath the tree. The tag said: "Peridot." Sitting directly on top of his present for her was a red box that was small enough to fit in his palm. It had a green bow with the tag "Steven." Peridot had placed it there herself very carefully after all the other gifts had been accounted for.

Steven approached the bar as Pearl was pouring something from a small pot into a mug. He started to ask her what it was when the beginnings of a song made Pearl turn back to look at Connie's laptop on the counter. It was "Winter Wonderland." She set the pot down, and a knowing smile spread across her face.

He grinned, "No, cmon."

"We use to every year when you were younger."

He shook his head still smiling. But he was already coming around the counter and into the kitchen that was warm from baking.

"I'm too old now."

"You're never too old."

Pearl took both of his hands in hers and held them up. The two of them swayed slowly around the kitchen like the play dancing they used to do when he was little.

"Sleigh bells riiiiing," Pearl sung to him smiling as they shuffled around their small kitchen.

Steven tipped his head with a grin, "Are you listening?"

"In the laaaaane."

"Snow is glistening," Steven finished for her, "A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight."

They sang in unison, "Walking in a winter wonderland."

Pearl laughed as they twirled, swaying their heads and hands. Steven chuckled and took the lead with striding steps. The Christmas tree twinkled behind her and then they would turn again, and it would sparkle in her eyes, a bleary reflection. The fire crackled in the stove over her shoulder; then it was the snow drifting outside their frost rimmed window in the dark. She was smiling like she rarely ever did. Like a breeze drifting through the evergreens of the grove, faint memories stirred within him. No, the smile wasn't rare, only rare to him. The Pearl that only smiled like this when she was a stranger to herself was no longer a stranger to him. He recognized her now. It was the Pearl from the grove with that spark in her eyes. When he returned from the grove, she had said nothing and asked no questions. And part of him, dancing with her now, truly wanted her to forget it all too. He wanted her to forget all about the grove, about Rose, about the past, and just focus on now. But her life was longer than the eighteen years she had spent with him. It wasn't easy to wipe away all the years that had come before. It wasn't easy to ask Peridot to do the same.

Pearl and Steven spun. Now that he was tall enough for her to reach, her arm was around his waist and her hand on his back. They kept a pair of their hands held in the air. Steven sang the next lines that came along, his voice somber.

"Later on, we'll conspire. As we dream by the fire. To face unafraid. The plans that we've made."

The song finished its last lines without him. Pearl was still smiling until she pulled back and saw his face.

"What's wrong, Steven? Is it the song? You don't have to do it if—"

Steven hugged her. "No, it's not the song," He said over her shoulder, "I always love doing this silly dance with you." Pearl slowly brought both her hands to the middle of his back.

"Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me," She didn't so much as hug him back as hang onto him as if it was her that needed it more. She let go and offered him the mug that was on the counter, "Here. This might make you feel better."

Steven took it and brought it to his lips. He closed his eyes taking in a deep breath through his nose. Apple cider. He tipped it back and let the warmth travel down his throat and fill his stomach. "It's perfect," he said, opening his eyes. Pearl smiled.

Steven walked around the bar and sat down on one of the stools with the mug between his hands. He leaned over it and took another sip. The only sound between them was the shifting of logs in the stove behind him.

"Is it what Sadie's mom said to you yesterday?" Pearl asked finally.

Maybe it was from being designed a Pearl, or it could have been the few thousand years in servitude to a Diamond — there she would have had to learn to read people in court — but Pearl always seemed to know. Always attentive. It was like a different version of Garnet's sight but with the present instead of the future. As a child, he believed her when she said it was her job to catch the things that Garnet let slip by. He still believed that.

"What did the two of you talk about?" Pearl asked.

Steven took a sip of his cider and told her.

* * *

Yesterday Peridot had stayed home to work on the suit. Originally the plan was for just him, the gems, and his dad to go Christmas shopping. But to his surprise, on their way there, they ran into Buck, Sour Cream, and Jenny who also wanted to go with them.

All of them had loaded up in his Dad's van. But before they reached the Beach city mall, there was unanimous agreement that they should get Sadie so she could come too. Steven rode in the back with everyone else except Garnet and Amethyst while Pearl rode up front with his dad. His dad had put the back seat down, so everyone was sitting in a loose circle. Jenny was next to him on her phone with Sadie telling her to drop everything and get ready.

Buck looked over at Connie who sitting on Steven's right, "So, you're crashing at Steven's place. You're a Crystal Gem now? Saving the world and all that right?"

"Yep," Connie crossed her arms across her chest proudly, "Just last week we stopped the whole planet from blowing up. So don't worry about that." She glanced over at Steven with a slight frown, "Well, Steven… he did the heavy lifting on that one."

He gave her a small smile and turned it toward Buck, "It was a team effort."

Connie's eyes lingered uneasily on Steven, but Buck reclined folding his hands behind his head, "That's cool," he said casually, "I kinda like this planet for the most part."

"I bet you like being out from under your parent's thumbs," Sour Cream said, and Buck nodded along, "No rules, or nagging. You just get up and do whatever you like or deal with whatever comes."

Connie drew her legs underneath her and tucked her hair behind her ear on one side, "Yeah."

Sour Cream went on, "I'm moved out, but my mom's always calling me. It's always about Onion. She can't keep up with him, and it's like I'm supposed to. He's old enough; he doesn't need anyone looking out for him all the time. You're so lucky that you don't have siblings."

Connie didn't say anything to that. Buck turned to Sour Cream and started to go on about his dad, but Connie was only listening to them absently. Steven knew it must be hard for her. Doing something that you thought with all your heart was right wasn't always easy. The hardest part was never knowing if what you were doing was right in the first place. He set a hand on her shoulder and offered a gentle squeeze. It jolted her out of her thoughts. He had only wanted to reassure her. Her gaze rose from his hand, and a lock of hair fell away from her face. She met his eyes, and for a moment the hurt fled, replaced with something that stirred behind dark chestnut. He only managed a twitch of a smile. At that, a different, much older pain flitted across the stirring. She pulled away. It was only a flinch and then she was smiling at him, and he couldn't read her anymore. She nodded a silent reassurance that she was okay.

Buck and Sour Cream had moved on to talking about the band now. Jenny was laughing, still on the phone with Sadie. Connie dug into her coat pocket and drew out her phone. She swiped through, checking her messages. Steven drew his knees up and propped his arms on them. All that he had wanted for the holidays was to spend time with friends like the Christmases of the past. But now that he had them all together, he had to admit that it wasn't the same. Things had changed. They had all changed too. He brought his hand to the front of his black coat, just below where his pink scarf draped. The distance didn't matter, he still felt the aura link back to Peridot, the chord that connected their hearts, smoldering in his chest. Christmas would always be different from now on. He couldn't help but smile despite everything. It would be different because he would always have Peridot now. He felt the beginnings of an idea churning. He knew what he would get her for Christmas.

Steven felt the van come to a stop. Greg turned back to them, "This is the place."

Steven pushed himself up, "I'll get Sadie." He stooped down and did the van waddle over to backdoors.

Sour cream shuffled over from his spot where he had been leaning against the doors. Steven opened one of them and hopped out. The van rumbled idly next to the curb, exhaust smoke curling into the cold air like smokey breath. He stepped onto the sidewalk and looked back over his shoulder. On the roof of the van, Garnet was sitting cross-legged, and Amethyst was laying on her side with a hand tucked underneath a wave of hair propping her head up. Amethyst grinned down at him. Garnet gave him a small smile. Pearl wasn't looking at him, but pressing her nose against the passenger side window, looking past him.

The door opened, and Steven turned back in time to see Sadie come out. She was wearing a black hoodie and jeans. Her skin and hair were still pink. He hadn't seen her since that day on the boardwalk; he had forgotten. Jasper's words crept into his mind.  _Have you corrupted this creature as well?_  But Sadie was smiling at him, strolling down the walkway. Barbara was standing in the doorway, waving. Steven waved back. The pink of Sadie's skin made him uneasy. It was the same color as the corrupting light. He pushed the gate of their short fence open for her. Sadie went through it and hugged him.

"You feeling better? Connie told me you were a little under the weather last week," Sadie said.

Under the weather. That would be one way of describing blowing away his physical form and then speaking to his dead mom who was a space queen so he could regrow a new body.

He smiled, "Yeah feeling much better now. I was going to ask you the same. How is life… pink?"

"Whatever you did, I feel better than I've ever felt. It's the best Christmas present you could have ever got me. Everyone in town has been talking about you, Peridot, and the redhead who saved everyone."

He grinned, "Redhead huh?"

Sadie smiled, "I had to tell them Tourmaline. They didn't even know her name. Peridot's drones have completely repaired the boardwalk. They couldn't do anything with the Big Donut though. It was completely burned down." She shrugged, "I don't mind though. I needed an excuse to stop working there. It was tiring doing the band stuff and that too. This way I can focus on the band full time. I know Buck wants to get it off the ground the most. He hates working with his dad at the Mayor's office."

Connie stuck her head out of the van, "You guys coming?"

"Yep," Sadie said. She glanced over her shoulder. Barbara had stopped waving and was still standing in the doorway. "My mom wanted to talk to you before we left."

"Oh ok," Steven said.

Sadie hopped in the van with everyone else.

"Close the door, girl! Steven just left it open; the heat is getting out!" Jenny cried.

Sadie closed the van door behind her. Steven made his way up the shoveled stone pathway to the house. Christmas lights dangled from the roof. He walked past an inflatable Santa in the yard. Without looking back, he could feel Garnet's eyes settle on his back, watching. Always watching. Barbara smiled at him.

"Merry Christmas, Steven."

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Miller," He replied.

"Please, come inside for a moment."

Steven stepped inside, and Sadie's mom closed the door behind them.

"My, maybe I don't see you often enough anymore, but you're a grown man now." She straightened the fold of his coat collar with a few tugs. It was probably already straight enough, but she was beaming at him in that jovialness she never seemed to lose. "It must have been just yesterday you were running around in here with my little Sadie practicing for the Beach-a-Palooza." He smiled and nodded and stood there awkwardly in her living room with his hands in his coat pockets. "Oh, well sit down, sit, please. I won't keep you and your friends waiting too long."

She sat down on the end of her sofa, and he took a seat in a chair across from her that made him sink the moment he got into it. He started to wonder how he might get out again when Barbara's smile dropped, and she leaned forward with more seriousness that he may have ever remembered her capable of having. His stomach began to sink into the seat with him.

"I'm not sure how to put this." She said, "So I'll just come right out and say it. Sadie's been… different since that day at the boardwalk." Steven stretched his arms out on the armrests and squeezed the ends. "I mean she's the same mostly, but…" Barbara ran a hand through her blonde hair and let out a cheerless laugh as if this was all ridiculous. Maybe it was. Her laughter died off, her eyes grave, "She doesn't eat. She doesn't sleep. She never seems to get tired."

_Manipulating life and death like it's yours to do so...but you try...and others suffer_

Bringing her back to life, he had asked himself whether it was like healing or did it come from the same place the corrupting light did? A place of darkness and destruction. Did this make him any better than the other Diamond's? Toying with life and death on a whim.

Steven lowered his head, "I'm sorry."

Barbara looked confused, "For what?" She slowly started to smile, "Steven, she doesn't  _need_  to eat. She doesn't  _need_  to sleep. She never gets tired. You've given her a gift that I could never repay you for. I only wanted to ask you if you knew anything more about it that I didn't."

He was taken aback. He stared at her for a few moments with blinking eyes. "...She won't age," He answered, "Or if she does, it will be very slowly. I don't think she can get sick either."

She took in a small gasp, "That means she will have a long life."

"A very long life," He fought with the chair to sit up in it, but it just pulled him back down, "She will outlive all of her friends. Everyone she knows."

But Barbara didn't seem to take that in. She had a faraway look in her eyes as she looked out of her living room window. "I've always worried about my baby. Her father...well...I just worry about her after I'm gone. I'm not going to be around forever. I've wanted her to be taken care of, but what you've done... it's more than I could have hoped for. I don't know how to thank you." She started to cry, "A mother worries, but you've taken that burden away from me. She will never go hungry, or have sleepless nights. She won't come home exhausted from pulling a double. She'll never get sick or lie in a hospital bed. She'll just be happy like I've seen her since that day you brought her back."

Steven didn't have the heart to say more. He brought his hand to his chest and felt the aura link again. He gave the chord a tug for strength because he didn't have the answer. To her mom, Sadie was gifted, but to him, her pink skin was a mark. It couldn't be covered up or hidden like that long black plasma scar on her side. It signaled a deeper truth. This was a curse that he had given her. A curse to live as he did without a choice. Through the aura link, he felt two tugs back from the other side. He smiled sadly. He remembered Garnet's advice.  _It was worth it._  Even if he had to see them all go one day while he remained.  _You don't have to be alone._

"I'll look after her," Steven said, "She won't be alone."

Barbara stood, and he struggled up and out of his chair. She pulled him into a bear hug and shook him as if to express all of her gratitude in one gesture.

* * *

Steven stared down at the bottom of his mug. It was empty of cider. "One day I feel like Sadie's going to come to me and ask me to take it away." He looked up at Pearl, "I don't know what anyone is supposed to do with all those years, but I do know that I'm afraid of what they can do to you. You have to carry all of them around with you, and it seems like they weigh a lot." The cloaked Pearl who once posed for Rose at the grove was no longer the same that stood across from him now in their kitchen. "Can any of us...do any of us, ever forget?" He asked her.

Pearl reached across the bar and put her hand on Steven's. "It's hard for a human to understand, but for gems, there isn't any other way of life. You may not be able to forget, but I like to think that you always find something that makes all those years worth it." She smiled, "I found you."

He smiled faintly.

"You're not like Yellow or Blue or White. You're not even like Rose. You're different. Don't ever forget that."

Steven took her hand and nodded.

Pearl took his cup and started to wash it. The temple door opened and Steven turned to see Peridot shooting out of the room. She had ditched the goggles but was wearing his sweater. She was moving with her knees slightly raised so that it actually looked like she was bouncing along like a rock skipping water, her hands clasped tightly to her chest, bunching a few of the stars together.

"HyahAHAHAH YOOOOoohoohooo hehehehe."

Steven burst out laughing at her jittery noises which were even more pronounced than usual from the way she was running. She came to a stop next to him and vibrated in place. He smiled down at her. He thought of what spending an eternity with her intensity, her playfulness, her curiosity, and her love would be like. He hoped it would keep both of them young forever.

She was beaming. "It is finally complete! It's better than I could have hoped for. I know she will love it. She has to."

Pearl gave her a humoring smile.

"Of course she will," Steven said.

"I can't wait to give it to her and go over all the features. We can give it a crash course and make sure everything works correctly."

Pearl raised an eyebrow, "Wait, you mean you haven't tested it ye—"

"Steven, do you think the color will be okay? The thought of painting it never occurred to me until now." He went to answer, but she waved a hand, "Would be useless to speculate until I see her in it or ask her. Besides robonoid metal has a good look." She put her hand on his leg, "Thank you for helping me figure out how to integrate Howard with the suit." She turned her eyes up to the side and scrunched her lips, "I don't know why working with AI gives me so much trouble."

"Heh. Don't let Buck or Sour Cream hear you say that." Steven said.

"What?"

"Nevermind. Besides, anything I did, I only did because I knew what you knew."

The compliment made her sway a little. She drew closer, and her hand on his leg slid closer to the inside of his thigh. Steven glanced up at Pearl, but she was turning off the oven and checking the cookies. Peridot's fingers traveled even higher. He jerked his head down and then back to her. She was peering up at him, her face tilted to the side as if she had asked him a question and was waiting on the answer. And even though she hadn't said a word, her eyes were looking between his, searching for that reply. He responded by turning his gaze down to his favorite part of her: the small plump fold of her bottom lip with that delicate little dip to her chin. She knew where his eyes were. Her lip twitched wanting him to kiss it. Her fingers squeezed him through his jeans making them feel tighter. He put his hand on top of hers just as Pearl turned back around.

"Well, you two have fun tonight catching Santa."

Steven almost jumped out of his seat. Both of them turned to look at her. Peridot was standing so close to him the corner of her hair brushed against his shoulder.

Steven cleared his throat and grunted out, "We will," He flashed her a toothy smile. But Pearl was eyeing him with suspicion. She looked to Peridot then back to him. Steven begged the universe to let this be the one time that something would finally slip by her.

"Steven? Are you alright?"

Peridot hadn't let go of him. She was standing petrified as if another Peridot had taken control for a moment, and now she had just returned to the mess that the other her had gotten her into. Steven curled his hand that wasn't on Peridot's into a fist and brought it to his chest, "Maybe it was the cider. Something just grabbed me all of a sudden. I'll be fine."

Pearl's expression eased out its 'Steven and Peridot are onto another scheme' and into looking a little guilty, "Oh, I'm sorry Steven. I didn't mean to make you feel sick."

He waved it off, "Nah. It wasn't you. It's me. You know I'm still working out this new body maybe it isn't used to cider yet. It was delicious, really."

She smiled back, "Well, don't forget to make Santa's plate and pour the milk. I'm leaving that up to you two this year," she said pointing at the both of them. Pearl started to leave the kitchen, and Peridot snapped out of it long enough to snatch her hand out of Steven's lap right before Pearl made it around the counter. Pearl headed toward the temple door and turned back to them as she reached it. They said their goodnights and Pearl left to the sound of her fountains.

Steven slowly turned back to Peridot.

Her eyes were wide, and her face was flushed as if Pearl had actually caught her, "I'm so sorry, Steven. I don't know where that came from." She put her fingers on her visor near her forehead, "This is the second time I've got like this. First when you reformed and I just thought it was because I was really happy to have you back. But ever since we...you…" She was making wild motions with her hands. "You know… we… and then…" She let out a small huff, "I have been getting these feelings that I never used to get before. Sometimes they're really strong. Especially when I first see you. And they make me want to… for us… to…" She fidgeted, her lips squirming into a crooked line of expression as she grasped for the words, "Again… more of that."

Steven's smile had grown into a grin.

She crossed her arms and whined with frustration. "Stop looking at me like that."

"I feel it too," He said, "It's normal, at least for humans."

Peridot unfolded her arms, "It's normal? But it gets harder to think, and then It makes me feel hotter. And I'm not even adjusting my core temperature! That's normal?"

He was trying his best not to laugh, "Yes. It's sorta like the same feeling you get when you want to kiss someone."

She turned her eyes away and grumbled, "I want to do more than just…" She gave him a sidelong glance, "You said you feel it too?"

He nodded.

Peridot smiled, "For me?"

Steven leaned forward on the edge of his seat, and she came closer. He pressed his lips against hers and moaned low when he felt her bottom lip push under his and kiss him unevenly. "You," He whispered to her.

Her eyes twinkled at him, and there was a blink of green light from her gem. "I like when you make noises too," She reported, "Makes me feel less strange."

He chuckled, "I'll try not to hold back just for you."

Peridot looked over at the stove roasting wood as if she was noticing it or anything else for the first time. She turned back to him with sudden excitement, "Are you ready for the stakeout? We have a lot to prepare." She held up her hand so he could see and counted on her fingers, "We need to get some hot cocoa going, restock the wagon with firewood…" She dangled a finger over that one, "You did say that it doesn't matter if the stove is producing fire and that Santa can still move through the port freely?" Steven nodded, and pleased with the assurance that they wouldn't accidentally set Santa on fire, she continued counting. She held up two more fingers, "We also have to check the stove and possibly insert more wood. And we have to procure the marshmallows."

"Don't forget the cookies and milk," Steven added.

Peridot growled, "Agh, right." She went over to the red wagon that was parked next to the stove and picked up the handle, "I also wrote down all my questions for Santa in list form so I would make sure to cover everything."

Steven wheeled the stool around to her. "Wait. It's too early for Santa. He doesn't start delivering presents until after midnight," He said. "I was thinking of something else we could do before the stakeout."

Peridot let go of the wagon handle, and it slowly glided down to the floor. "...Something… else?" She looked over to the temple door and then back to him anxiously, "...Right now? We can. I mean…" She brought her hands together and interlocked her fingers, "I would like that very much. Something else." She blinked at him and seemed to wiggle a little in place.

He chuckled, "I was more talking about another winter trial. One that you haven't done yet."

"Oh…" She blushed, "Of course."

He stood up, "That doesn't mean we can't do the other "something else" later though." He winked at her.

Peridot smiled at him, but she put a hand to her other arm when he started to walk over to the presents, "What is this new trial?"

She followed him over to the Christmas tree, "Well, it's sort of a two in one." She watched him set his hand on the present meant for her, "It's optional, not everyone does it, but on Christmas Eve some people open up one of their presents. And I figured mine would be the best to do that with since tomorrow we will be with everyone celebrating Christmas and this is something I kind of only wanted to share with you, at least at first. I mean all the gems are in their rooms and Connie's staying over at Sadies tonight until the morning so what better time than tonight? We'll be back in time to catch Santa. So what do you say?"

Peridot smiled, "Okay. But you said we will be back? Are we going somewhere?"

"Yep. C'mon I'll show you."

* * *

The streets of Beach City were empty of traffic, and the sidewalks were clear except Steven and Peridot sneaking off into the night hand in hand. It was dark except the hazy orbs of lamp lights and the neat rows of Christmas lights hanging above their heads. Steven carried Peridot's present tucked underneath his arm. Every once in a while she would look over and take a peek at it. Even though the streets were deserted, Steven still looked both ways before leading both of them across the street. Once on the other side, he led her down a walkway, past a sign that said "Dewey Park." Peridot peered up at the statue of William Dewey as they strolled past it too. She gazed around.

"Where are we going, Steven?" She whispered.

"You'll see." He said shooting her a sly smile.

Every year Dewey Park turned their small pond into an ice rink for anyone who wanted to skate. When it came into view, lit up with the black lamp posts that surrounded it, Steven spied a nice wooden bench near the edge that would do nicely. He led Peridot over to it, cherishing the drag of her small weight in his hand.

"Here, take a seat."

She did as he asked, still looking up at him with curiosity. He knelt in front of her, the present still underneath his arm. He reached down and handed it up to her. She took it in both hands and put it in her lap.

Steven smiled, "Okay, you can open it."

Peridot let out a small squeal of excitement that she had apparently been holding and started to unravel the bow deftly with her fingers being careful not to damage any part of it. She lifted the lid and set it next to her on the bench beside the ribbon and reached inside the box. At first, she cocked her head to the side confused, then as she lifted the blue ice skate out and held it in her hands, she gasped.

"It's a boot with a blade on the bottom." She said breathlessly. She turned her eyes to the frozen pond, "And that's frozen water." She looked back to him and whispered in barely contained glee, "You're teaching me how to skate ice."

Steven grinned and bobbed his head. Before she could say anything more, he reached out his hand. "Let me put them on for you."

She went quiet. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but he hoped she liked it. Peridot silently handed him the skates. He took one of her stocking covered feet in his hands and ran his thumbs lovingly against it feeling her cute little toes beneath before slipping the boot on. He was looking down as he worked.

"I hope you don't mind, but I had Amethyst shapeshift into you at the store so I could get your shoe size perfect. So, you know, just let me know if they don't fit right, and we can take them back."

He slipped on the other boot and went to lace them up for her, "When I hung out with all my friends yesterday, it wasn't like I imagined it would be. Of course they've changed, so have I, but I don't really think I have anything to add to their conversations. I worry about homeworld assassins, and they worry about bills now. I mean I get it." Steven finished one boot and started on the other. "But it got me thinking, like, this is your first winter, but it won't be your last. It's just the start of so many more Christmases with me and all sorta other holidays I haven't shown you yet." He shrugged, "That's why I got you these boots. You're going to need them for this year, but also for next year, and the year after that, and the year after that one. All that stuff you shapeshift, that's just temporary but this… this is permanent." He was finished. He gave the boot a pat, "What do you think?" Steven finally looked up.

Peridot's visor was gone, her face contorted, tears streaming down both sides of her face.

"Peridot? What's— Oooff!"

Peridot had leapt off the bench and was on top of him in the snow. Both of her hands were on either side of his head, fingers buried in his hair, and she was kissing him over and over and crying. Her whole body was trembling, and he brought his arms around her. He laid there in the snow with her and held her and squeezed her and she just kept whispering through her sobs a teary, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

And between her kisses, he managed an, "I… love… you…"

She buried her face into his shirt and clung to his coat. Steven lowered his head against her soft blonde hair, and the strands seemed to ease back allowing him in. For a long while, she didn't say anything, and that was okay, and he just held her as she shook.

At last, she spoke muffled against his shirt, "I don't know why you think I'm so special. Why you love me the way you do," She slowly raised her face to him, her eyes brimming with fresh tears, "All I see is one Peridot designed out of so many, clever enough to earn the mission here, clever enough to fool a Diamond into thinking I'm anything but what that other Tourmaline called me. I'm so afraid she's right, that I'll only disappoint you. Please, tell me why you've chosen me, why a Diamond chose me. What do you see?"

Steven cupped her face in his hand and wiped a tear away from her cheek with his thumb, "I see someone I want to spend eternity with."

He kissed her, and the aura link bloomed in their chests. And he could feel her start to believe him. He could feel her begin to accept it, to accept that there would be a next year, and a year after that one.


	25. What I Am Through You

"Don't… don't let go of me."

"I won't."

"Don't let..." Peridot took a quick breath and puffed out the last word into the chilly air, "go."

Peridot was latched onto both of his arms, her legs locked but quivering. She was staring down at her boots as they cut across the ice all on their own. As she watched them, her head was angled down between them bringing the peak of her hair to twitch just below Steven's chin. He was skating backward on his pink skates. Each push was a very slow and drawn out  _skitch shhhhhhh_  punctuated with a whimper from Peridot. He was pulling her toward the center of the rink.

Steven grinned and told her again, "I won't."

Peridot risked a glance up at him with blues eyes and darkened cheeks. Where she bit her lip nervously, it created the smallest of dimples.

"I must conquer this winter trial," she whispered to him.

Steven chuckled, "Okay, well don't watch my feet. This is how you skate backward. It's different for skating forward. Here, let me show—"

"Don't let go," she reminded.

He smiled, "Here, just take my hand and…" Her hand groped down his arm tugging at each fold of cloth on the way there until finally, her hand fumbled into his. Her warm fingers were rigid claws at first, but then they eased the moment their palms pressed together. Her fingers curled slowly in between his. It made her go still, and she peeked up at him. "I'll get beside you," he said. Reluctantly, she let go of his other arm and desperately followed him with her eyes as he moved next to her.

She wobbled and squatted down to catch her balance on the blue skates strapped to her feet. Steven helped her, and she stood back up.

"Don't laugh," She looked over at him through the corners of her eyes.

"I wouldn't."

The faintest of smiles lifted at her lips, and she squeezed his hand.

"Alright, so first don't lock your legs up so much. You want to bend them a little like mine, see?"

Peridot glanced down to check and then bent her knees.

Steven smiled, "Great. So, you want to angle the blade like this on the foot you want to push off on; then you want to make sure to push out. When you get going, you want to lean on the other skate to glide forward. You don't want to push forward like your trying to run on the ice. I uh... well it doesn't work so good."

He held her hand and pushed the two of them forward with her following behind, knees bent, trying to keep balance and watch how he did it. Steven demonstrated a few more times bringing both of them to the center of the rink.

"I think I understand how this process works." She went to pull her hand away from him and almost fell over. She turned back to him, confused. Steven felt the heat rush to his cheeks at the sight of his fingers tightly tugging back at hers.

Peridot's eyes widened, "Oh, heheh, you can let go of me  _now_ , Steven."

He looked down at her boots, then her legs. She was holding them right. "Maybe I could show you a few more times before… "

"No, the movement was quite straightforward. I believe I have it." She gave him a reassuring smile, and Steven let her go. His hand came to rest underneath his scarf as he watched her get ready.

As she was taught, Peridot angled the blade of her boot out, but when she pushed forward, the weight of her body wasn't right on her other leg. She swayed off balance and brought her other foot down in an attempt to stabilize herself. She waved her hands out frantically which only made her spin out. "Don't have it! Don't have it!"

The blades on her skates scraped against the ice in a frenzy as she tried to catch herself. Steven lunged forward and moved in to grab her, but before he could reach her, she shot her hands straight out on either side of herself and snapped to a complete stop.

Peridot's eyes were squeezed shut. Steven's hand hung in the air, and he slowly lowered it limply to his side as he looked down at her boots. They were quivering unnaturally on the ice.

"Whoa… " He breathed.

Peridot slowly opened her eyes and peered down at the boots. She looked back up to him and giggled, "The blades are metal."

"So they are…huh." He chuckled softly.

Steven demonstrated a few more times and helped her with balancing. To his surprise, she picked it up quicker than he expected. After an hour, she was gliding without falling over and was able to use both feet to push off. But of course, Peridot always learned everything quickly. It had taken him much longer. He had been terrible at it when he first began. After skating for a bit, he stood at the edge of the rink and watched her. He didn't want to show off and discourage her. He had come a long way since first learning.

"I'm glad it's just you and me, Steven. I want to learn first instead of subjecting myself to ridicule." Peridot said. She was gliding forward from the opposite side of the rink toward him.

"I guess I just throw myself into it and hope for the best."

"How did you say you turn again?" She asked casually pushing off again propelling herself forward faster.

"Uh, Well you…"

She was looking down at her skates, but when she looked up, she realized that she was going faster than expected, "Instruct faster."

"You shift your weight into the skate that—"

"Initiate plan B. Catch me!" She thrust her hands forward in front of her and collided with him before he could brace himself.

They grabbed onto each other and spun into the snow with a puff. They looked at each other and laughed. Peridot rolled over against him and held onto him.

"This is okay too," She concluded.

Steven nodded solemnly, "I'll need to teach you breaking first."

Together they gazed up at the field of stars above them that were silent and still; innumerable, but below, it was only the two of them. Sometimes it was hard to imagine that Peridot had come from up there. Somewhere past the moon, past the sun he had watched rise and fall on each day of his life, Peridot had been out there in that darkness. He lowered his eyes to her. It only took one look at the color of her skin to convince him that it was true.

Peridot shifted in his arms, "What are you thinking about?" she asked, turning her eyes up to him.

His gaze floated lazily down her neck. "I was only thinking…" He brought his eyes back to her's and smiled, "of how pretty a green you are."

Her cheeks offered him a different shade of it to admire. She reached out and touched the side of his face, her fingers needful, but her smile shy. She whispered near his mouth, "Would you like to see more…" She gave him a peck on the lips, "...of my skin?"

Steven grinned, "Is it just as green everywhere?"

Peridot kissed him again, this time harder and longer. "I'm not sure. I would like you to report your findings after careful study."

Steven felt his cheeks burn at that. It drew out a sly smile from Peridot, her eyes flashing that mischievousness.

He sat up slowly. She followed with her hands on his chest. "Let me get my shoes," he managed.

Peridot pulled away and smiled to herself as she began to untie her skates and pull one off.

Steven reached over and pulled his boots over. He leaned down and took off each of his skates. He bubbled them and tapped the top of it sending them back home. It made him smile. He had surprised Peridot when he had pulled his skates out of a bush near the rink. Garnet had given him the great idea to hide them so that he wouldn't give away what his gift was to Peridot before she could open hers. Garnet had also suggested he bubble them to keep them warm and safe so no one would move them. Christmas Eve was one of the nights that all the gems would actually go to sleep since it was the holiday tradition. But Steven wondered if Garnet was still awake, if she would smile at seeing the skates pop into the burning room.

He finished putting his boots back on and looked over at Peridot. She was clutching one of her skates to her chest and staring at something over his shoulder. He followed her eyes. In the darkness, there was a silhouette of a dress standing next to one of the trees. Steven's hand flinched with the reflex to summon his shield, but he relaxed as soon as he realized that the figure was small. Too small to be... well, he couldn't make anything else out. There wasn't a lamp near where she was standing.

Peridot spoke low, "I thought that it was only us."

"It looks like a little girl," he said, "It's so cold. She shouldn't be out here all alone like this."

"A small human? Maybe she is lost."

Steven turned back to Peridot, "I'm going to go check on her, see if she needs any help."

He got up and trudged through the snow leaving the light of the lamps behind him. A wind drifted through the trees shaking their barren branches and sending creaks through the empty park. The crunching of snow coming from behind him made him glance over his shoulder. Peridot was following but from a safe distance, both her skates bundled up in her arms. The sound of gentle sobbing made Steven turn back to the little girl. She was leaning against a tree, her back to him. He could see her shoulders shaking ever so slightly. She couldn't be more than seven years old, Steven thought. He came closer and looked around, but there was no one else, no one to claim her.

He stopped short. Despite how dark it was, he could make out the shape of a ribbon on her head. Her hair was fluffed out on either side. With what little light there was to see, the way that it fell on her made her black hair look almost blue.

Steven called out, "Hey. Are you okay?"

There was no answer, only the continuation of a muffled cry.

He came closer and tried again, "It's Christmas Eve. Are you all alone out here? Where's your mom and dad?"

Again, the girl didn't answer. He got close enough to put his hand on her shoulder when he saw that her arms were the color blue. Both of them. Her hair wasn't black. He jerked a step back.

The little girl's sobs dissolved into squeaky laughter. She turned to him, and there were no tears except one underneath her left eye. A gem that twinkled.

"It's a delight to finally make your acquaintance, Rose Quartz." She smiled deviously.

Peridot screamed behind him. Steven spun around. The largest gem he had ever seen was holding Peridot tucked underneath her arm effortlessly as if the green gem was nothing but a flailing sack of potatoes. The blue skates were dumped upside down in the snow below her.

"Let go of me, you CLOD!"

Peridot's fists were doing nothing as they pumped up and down on a thick yellow forearm. The large gem only glanced down through her orange visor and frowned. It was hard to tell if she heard the plea at all with two massive yellow gems embedded on either side of her face where her ears should be.

Steven dashed forward almost tripping through the thick snow. He summoned his shield lighting up the night with a pink flash. He rewound it and sent it flying, but it froze in mid-air a few feet away from him, captured in blue light. Steven stared at it before realizing he wasn't moving either. Surrounding him was that same hazy blue field. Steven grunted, struggling to move his limbs, but it was like being encased in transparent cement.

"Steven…" Peridot stopped struggling.

"It's going to be… okay," He said to her.

A springy high pitched snigger issued from behind him. The small gem fluttered between the two of them using butterfly-shaped wings that looked like the kind that Lapis used. Her ribbon was gone. In her hand was a wand that the blue light poured out of.

"Ah, now that that's over, it would be a pleasure to introduce ourselves." The small gem held the back of her hand delicately to the cheek that held her gem, "I am Aquamarine. And this lug is Topaz and Topaz." She tittered to herself as if she had told a good joke. Her giggle trailed off, and she scowled, "We are here to take you two traitors to Yellow Diamond. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask you what you've done with the gem before us? The Era 1 Peridot?"

Steven only growled and struggled underneath the blue light. A warmth was growing in his stomach. The harder he fought, the stronger the field became to hold him in place and the hotter his gem became.

Aquamarine sighed, "No matter." She cocked her head to the side, "Would you stop struggling. You're embarrassing yourself." Her smirk and voice became faint, "So... this is the great Rose Quartz…" Then her face lit up with an idea, "How about the other rebels? Are they near? I wasn't told to capture them, but I wonder... "

Steven tried to resist the field, but it just wouldn't give. Aquamarine was ignoring him, musing on a new idea as if he wasn't even there. He lowered his eyes. It was no use. How could he have been so stupid? Of course Yellow would send more gems, and it was his great idea to go out alone on the one night Garnet would be asleep.

"Steven," A voice called to him. It wasn't nasally or haughty. It spoke sweetly. Past the blue field was a pink glow. On the other side, her hand touching the barrier, stood Pink. Over Pink's shoulder, Peridot was staring wide-eyed at her from underneath Topaz's arm.

"Mom," Steven whispered, "Help."

Pink glanced over at Aquamarine nervously as the small gem was pulled from her thoughts. "What? What did you say?"

Pink shot a desperate look back to him, "You have the strength of a Diamond. You have to use it."

"WHAT did you say?" Aquamarine screeched.

Steven didn't answer. The blue beam had caught him in mid-stride, and mid shield throw with his hand extended in front of him. He tried with all his strength to command his limbs to kick and punch through the concrete that was hardened all around him. Peridot was watching him, her eyes begging. She needed him. Pink's gaze darted up to his fingers as they slowly began to wiggle. His gem was growing hotter and hotter. Underneath his shirt, a pink outline of the diamond began to burn.

"Uhhh… " Aquamarine jerked her eyes down in amazement at her wand and started to bang her hand against it, "C'mon you stupid thing."

Steven's hands and legs started to slowly wade in the field as if he was swimming in thick tar. Topaz's eyes widened. She summoned her weapon, a pugil. She twirled it in one hand and opened herself in a wide stance with Peridot still limply hanging from her other massive fist.

"That's it, Steven. Like at the grove, the seed was a focus, Peridot is yours," Pink said, putting both her hands against the barrier, "You must get to her. To fuse."

"I DEMAND THAT YOU—" Whatever Aquamarine's demand was, it was drowned out by Steven's cry in the cold black night.

"AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!" It was a cry of pain. His gem felt so hot that it was almost unbearable like it was searing him from the inside. It was like every nerve ending was screaming out that it couldn't handle what was coming. Steven was kicking and punching in the field that held him. Pink sparks of energy crackled all across his body, but it wasn't like Tourmaline. He couldn't control it at all. Where they sparked, it stung his skin and burned holes into his clothing. His hands shot down to grab at the diamond in his stomach as he curled into a ball. Whatever this was. He had to let it out. He had to let it go. He had to… had to — Pink was edging away from the barrier. Steven threw his limbs out in all directions with a wail that echoed throughout the desolate park venting the energy that had been trapped in his gem. The beam of blue light burst into shreds of dissolving energy. His shield, no longer trapped by the wand flew out and slammed squarely into Topaz's stomach.

The large gem doubled over from the gut shot, and Peridot spilled out from underneath her arm. Peridot kicked herself away and scurried on her hands and knees in the snow toward Steven trying to stand up so she could run. Steven couldn't see Pink anymore, but he was rushing through the snow toward Peridot. He held his hand out toward her, and the aura link in his chest flared. The gem in his stomach and the one on her forehead lit up pink and green calling to each other.

Peridot stretched out her hand, but before he could grasp it, Topaz seized her and swung her up and away from him.

"No!" She cried, clawing the air toward him and kicking her feet.

Steven summoned his shield and went to charge into the massive gem before he heard a shout behind him from Aquamarine.

"STOP!"

Steven stopped, but it wasn't because of her command or her wand, it was because Topaz was holding one blocky thumb over Peridot's gem. Peridot trembled, and tears were streaming down from her blue eyes on either side of that digit.

"If you don't stop this, I will have Topaz shatter her. Yellow did not specify alive. Throw down your weapon."

Steven dropped his shield in the snow beside him. He stood there huffing, sore from head to toe, and in clothes that were smoking with little black clouds lifting from thumb-sized holes.

"Good," Aquamarine cooed, "Now. I see you two are trouble enough without bringing the rest of your traitor friends. Both of you will go willingly, or I'll shatter the Peridot."

Peridot was shaking her head underneath Topaz's thumb, "We can find a way, Steven. You and me."

Steven's shoulders lowered. He hung his head, black curls dangling over his forehead, "I'll go with you, but you have to let her go."

Aquamarine laughed, "And why would I not just take both of you?"

Peridot was squirming in Topaz's grasp. Her voice called to him through the aura link.

_Steven. You can't do this. I won't leave you. We'll face the Diamond's together just like you said._

Steven looked up to her sadly.

_We're not strong enough to fight them yet. I'm the one they've come for. I have to protect you. I can't lose you._

Peridot kicked her feet out wildly and bared her fangs at him, "I have to protect you too! Don't you do this again! I don't forgive you! I won't! Just take my help! I can help!"

Aquamarine groaned, "Ugh. Let's get them back to the ship already."

Steven turned to her and lifted his tattered shirt up above his belly button so she could see the Diamond embedded there. Aquamarine's jaw dropped.

"I'm not just the rebel leader. I am Pink Diamond. Yellow won't miss a Peridot, but you'll have a hard time trying to bring in a Diamond peacefully. If you let her go, I'll go without a fight."

Aquamarine's eyes darted up and down and then up and down again disbelieving. Her lips moved uselessly in the air. She jerked her face up to him, "You're alive? Wait… " Her eyes grew larger, "You led a rebellion against the other Diamonds?"

"Please, Steven, don't..." Peridot begged.

"That's right," He said proudly, "I fought the other Diamonds. Now bring me to Yellow Diamond. We have a lot to talk about."

Befuddled, Aquamarine continued to eye him and the pink diamond, "You are a Diamond, yet still a traitor… This has never happened before... This should not be possible. A Diamond... but… if you are a traitor, it's my job to… " She looked completely puzzled for a moment, then a thought made her scowl, "We will release the Peridot, and you will come with us to the nearest gem controlled station. If what you say is true, then an in-depth scan of your gem will reveal it to us. I will not be made a fool of in front of Yellow Diamond if this is just another Rose Quartz trick."

Topaz walked around Steven to see for herself. She gawked silently at the gem in his gut then looked to Aquamarine for answers. The small gem sighed and nodded wearily.

"Poof the Peridot. Leave her gem here, and let's go before my gem shatters underneath the weight of this quandary."

"Steven!" Peridot cried as Topaz squeezed her into a cloud of green just as Garnet had done so long ago. Her gem dropped into the snow. Beside it, in a wrinkled pile, was his blue sweater.

"Whatever or whoever you are, we brought something special for you just in case," Aquamarine said, "If I ever see 8LG I will have to thank her for such detailed logs." She gazed to the side, "If you haven't shattered her. Ah. Anyway. Give our 'royal' guest her gift Topaz."

Topaz pulled from one of her gems a set of shackles that looked as if they could have been designed by someone like 8LG. Steven offered his hands out, and the bracelets closed, covering most of his forearm. They snapped to each other pulling his arms together as if held that way by powerful magnets.

"Those won't take any more of your electrical tricks."

Topaz sat a massive hand on his shoulder that was so big it hung partially over his arm too. She shoved him forward in the direction of the park's exit. Aquamarine fluttered next to them, twirling the wand in her hand.

"Of course if you really are Pink Diamond, what a scandal that will be. And I, merely a humble Aquamarine, will go down in all records of future spires as having been the one to capture you and bring you to justice. My mural will be brilliant. I wonder what they will do with you? What punishment befits a rebel Diamond?" Aquamarine giggled nervously, "It's just never been seen. If you weren't responsible for the death of thousands of gems, well I… " She waved a hand and straightened the ribbon back onto her head, "Nevermind. Diamond or not, you have to answer to the Authority. We all do."

Steven looked back over his shoulder. A ghostly image of Pink kneeled in the snow. She held up the Peridot gem in both of her hands with such sorrow. She leveled her eyes to Steven. He had to turn away. They wouldn't understand. Maybe he could talk his way out or come up with something, but if Peridot was there… they could do anything they wanted to her or make him do anything they wanted at the threat of shattering her. He couldn't risk that. He was a Diamond. He could endure so much more if he needed to for her. If she was shattered, it would be an eternity of living without her. Steven closed his eyes and marched on.

* * *

Aquamarine's ship was floating above the waves on the far side of the beach. It was hidden from the view of the temple by the pier. No one saw them go. After all, it was Christmas Eve. He tripped a few times in the snow at Topaz's insistent shoves to go faster. He was stalling, trying to come up with an idea, but Topaz finally decided to pick him up and carry him the rest of the way. There was no point in running. There was no way he was going to break out of another wand beam with his arms like this. Either way, he doubted his body or his clothes could take another attempt.

He bounced along to each of Topaz's steps, slumped underneath her arm. Soon, he could make out the sound of waves lapping sand. He swung his head up to see the dark sea and the moon above. Hovering above the water was Aquamarine's ship. It was a deep black that Steven would have had a tough time distinguishing from the sky or the water if it wasn't for the bright blue lines of trim on its sleek cone-shaped body.

Topaz stopped. Aquamarine fluttered up to the ship and waved her wand. Blue lines surfaced from beneath the black metal revealing a ramp that lowered at Topaz's feet. She carried him up and inside.

"Just put her over there for the moment. We have a few hours ahead of us. I'm sure I'll think of some questions to ask a supposed Diamond." Aquamarine gave a dismissive wave from her pilot's seat in what Steven could make out might be the 'front' of the cone. It was at least where the screens and controls were. The small gem was interacting with it by flourishing her wand.

Other than the chair and the controls, the interior was an empty cone, its inside just as black as its outside. The only other thing to note was a blue staircase that led down to a lower level to the right of the captain's chair. Topaz brought him over to the right side of the sphere and sat him down next to the wall. At least he was given some back support. A quiet, comfortable spot was just what he needed.

Steven squeezed his eyes close. He had to call out to the others for help. All of them together might be enough. The aura flared in his chest at his call. He imagined Beach City in his mind as Pink had taught him to do with the grove. He imagined himself running across the beach to the temple, running free without the shackles, without the heaviness in his gem that had been there since leaving Dewey Park. He could make out a hazy memory of what the temple statue looked like. Then he could see the stairs. He climbed them. His legs pumping up and down furiously. There was the door. He grabbed the handle. He threw it open. He went to shout that he needed help, to call out to Pearl, to Garnet, to Amethyst, even to Jasper. But behind the door was Peridot. Her scream sent him flying back, spinning wildly into the darkness of his own mind.

_JUST TAKE MY HELP!_

Steven's eyes opened. Pink's face was an inch away from his inside Aquamarine's ship, her brilliant diamond eyes piercing into his own.

A whisper sliced out from between her lips as if it was an accusation, "Focus."

Steven cried out, and his eyes shot open again. He was back in the ship. His outburst had caused Topaz to glance over in his direction. His whole body trembled as the aura died to embers in his chest. He couldn't reach anyone. The aura wouldn't connect to them, not with the heaviness in his gem weighing it down. What had he done? He bit his lip trying not to cry. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe there wasn't a Steven way out of this. Maybe he really did need help. A hum rumbled underneath him as he felt the ship start to rise. The room they were in was covered in complete darkness. Topaz stood silently behind Aquamarine. Her bemused face was tinted in the eerie blue glow of Aquamarine's screens, the only source of light in the cabin.

"Brilliant. Now we are finally underway. With a Diamond no less." The small gem laughed uneasily to herself. "Holly Blue should be more than amicable to our request when she finds out who's gem we wish to check the database against." She started to turn her chair to Steven when a beep from one of the screens grabbed her attention. "Hmm… what's this." She muttered leaning forward with her wand at the ready.

With a few flicks of her wrist, she scowled. "The scanner is picking up something that has an intercept course with us. It's moving too slow to be a projectile." She informed Topaz with a glance over her shoulder. Aquamarine pointed her wand to a blank screen to her left, "Let us see if we can get a visual from our rear-facing lens. No doubt it is some low flying human craft."

The image that appeared on the screen was almost entirely useless. It had to be midnight by now, so it was too dark to see anything. Steven squinted. He thought he could make out the slightest flicker of a dot in the middle of the screen that was supposed to be the object. Aquamarine tapped the bottom of her chin with her wand in thought. Then, she jabbed it toward the left screen to stab out a new silent command. The image became clearer and brighter, and then the lens zoomed in.

"...What in all of the stars," Aquamarine breathed staring at the image broadcasting in real time.

Topaz snatched her hand off of the captain's chair and spun around summoning her pugil in a yellow flash of light.

Steven blinked in astonishment at the screen. The low flying object was a toboggan sled that belonged to none other than him. It was arcing up through the clouds. Strapped in it with the rope that was no longer needed to guide it, was Peridot. The middle screen in front of Aquamarine displayed a radar, and the dot that represented the small green gem was gaining on them.

Aquamarine slammed her tiny fists into the arms of her chair, "She'll reach us before we leave the atmosphere. Fine! We gave her a chance to stay on this useless rock. If she doesn't take it, no cut off my gem. I'm opening the hatch. Capture her, Topaz!"

Steven struggled to stand up, pushing his back against the wall and wiggling upward, but the moment the hatch opened, and the ramp lowered the rushing wind threw him back down and sent him rolling. The roar of the wind and the cold black steel of the ship was all he knew until he could get himself over onto his side. It was just in time.

Peridot was almost to the ramp, the sled accelerating faster than the ship. She was holding onto the front with both hands, her brow lowered, her jaw set, and her mouth was that flat line that he knew so well. The face that you would make to weather a storm. The sled came in hot and turned before it reached Topaz. Its metal rails that were made for cutting through snow sent a shower of sparks into the air as it grated against the sleek black metal. Topaz took only one step toward her regripping her pugil. The wind continued to howl from the open hatch. Peridot ripped the rope away and jumped off the sled, her hair a mess of wind blasted blonde tufts.

She raised her hands, "You're going to give me back MY CLOD!" The metal rails ripped themselves off the wood base of the sled. The sled thudded to the floor. Peridot squeezed her fists, and the curved ends of the rails snapped off leaving two long pointy stakes. She threw her hands out, and the bars went flying. Topaz stumbled backward barely able to deflect both of them in time. With a twirl, she blunted each rail off of either end of the pugil. Topaz charged toward the small green gem, but the whistle of the rails returning made her spin around and ward one away. The other caught her in the shoulder turning her spin into a fall. She tumbled over and crashed to the floor on her back. Her eyes went wide as the rails hovered right over her head. Peridot moved her hands up and down like she was beating two invisible drums causing the rails to stab up and down. Topaz was rolling away from their barrage, the rails thrusting near misses next to her head and neck. Finally, Topaz grabbed both rails in her hands. It was a struggle to hold their jagged tips away from her throat. Topaz's hands were shaking at the effort. Peridot squeezed her fists and let out a shriek. The aura link flared in Steven's chest and the Diamond in his stomach grew warm. Peridot's scream caused even the loose bits of metal in what was left of the sled to pull themselves out and float in the air around her.

Topaz's strength wasn't enough. The rails slipped from her hands and impaled the gem in the throat. Peridot sucked in an audible breath. Her eyes lowered to her hands shaking out in front of her. The metal scraps around her clattered to the floor. When Peridot looked up, to both her and Steven's surprise, Topaz split into two forms. They were a fusion. Topaz and Topaz. The sled rails were quivering in the metal floor. Each Topaz stood up and summoned a yellow-tipped mace. They looked angry. Steven rolled over on his stomach and tried to sit up by pushing against the floor with his shackled arms.

Aquamarine was closing the hatch behind Peridot. But Peridot wasn't running. The Topaz's started toward her, but before they could even take two steps, each of them was forced to fight off a metal rail. The green gem was controlling each with both of her hands fighting them separately. Slowly, the Topazes battled their way to her beating the metal bars into useless shapes. It was too much for her to concentrate on both at the same time. Finally, a mace swung down hard and fast and hit Peridot in the chest. She fell to her hands and knees. The mangled metal collapsed uselessly to the ground with her. The next swing by the other Topaz poofed her. Again.

Aquamarine growled from her seat, "What was that? How in Homeworld could your fusion be bested by a mere Era 2 peridot?"

The topazes exchanged glances. It was fear that Steven could see in their eyes, then it was gone, back to that blank stare.

"Don't hurt her. Please," Steven said.

Aquamarine turned to him with a disgusted scowl. "I won't. Consider it a courtesy for being a Diamond. But that's your only one. Don't expect another. Topaz, secure her."

After fusing, Topaz bubbled Peridot's gem. She descended the stairwell to the lower level of the ship. It was only him and Aquamarine in the room. She sat in her chair, still facing him. With a slow, deliberate movement, she crossed her legs.

"Tell me. Why did you do it, Pink?"

Sitting on his knees, Steven raised his head to her.


	26. The Answer Part 1

Steven's old wood sled laid abandoned near the ship's closed hatch. He had had it since he was a child. Not too long ago, on a different day, free of a shadow that was sometimes pink and sometimes amber that now seemed to loom over everything, a green girl, who loved him very much, rode it with him and he could still feel her holding onto him, and the warm spot on his back from her chest, and her laughter in his ear. Now it was all fallen apart. Bolts, curled metal panels, and splintered wood littered the floor around it.  _I'm not going anywhere_. And she hadn't. Steven's eyes gazed around the room blindly trying to find something else to look at but that accusing sled and Aquamarine peering into the darkness at him, her face half alight in blue. But his eyes fell back to the sled. There was nothing else. He had failed her again. She had never given up on him, not even for a second. He could imagine her now, reforming in that park all alone. And the moment her form dropped to the ground, she would have had to run to catch them in time.

"Pink. Why did you do it?" Aquamarine repeated her question to him.

Steven turned his head to the stairs where Topaz had taken Peridot. He strained to hear even the slightest sound. There was nothing. His hand trembled and clawed at the metal squeezing his wrists. He needed to reach his chest, to feel her there where she always was. He could barely feel her through the aura link as if the chord had turned into a thread that might snap at the slightest touch. He couldn't tug it and wait for her to tug back.

Aquamarine was speaking to him, but both she and her words were nothing but a blur to him, "You abandoned your throne. Your gems. The ones that were designed specifically for you, to carry out your wishes…"

But what he could understand with perfect clarity was that Peridot had not made a sound when Topaz had hit her. No whimper, no cry of pain. There had been the thump of her knees and the slap of her hands hitting the floor. But she had only bowed her head silently and waited for that last poofing blow to swing down. He had never seen her give up like that. All that energy and all that fire that he loved so much in her, extinguished. It wasn't Topaz that had done it.

"...against the other Diamonds. The war you brought upon us plunged the entire empire into a new era. Only the gem elite know of the true extent of the damage you've caused. It's what you've done with how many gems that your war shattered. It what you've done with the resources that you forced us to use, the resources that you stole. Your gift to us, the second era, a dark age. A whisper in every Diamond court is this," Aquamarine's leaned forward in her chair, her tiny hands squeezing the ends of the arms, "The empire will never recover."

Steven never met her face. He flinched as a hot tear fell against his cheek and slid down before dripping to the floor. What if this was a one way trip for him and Peridot?  _Because if I don't prepare you to face the truth, you won't return to me._  He shook his head, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he clenched it. And she hadn't made a sound when Topaz had hit her. Not a sound. She hadn't even looked at him. He was staring bleary-eyed at his old wood sled, his fingers tugging uselessly at the shackles.

Aquamarine's voice cut through his thoughts, sharp and cold, "So I want you to…"  
 _Just take my help!  
_ "Look at me."  
 _You're not even like Rose. You're different.  
_ "And I want you to tell me."  
 _You will have to fight, and gems will die._  
"Why did you do it?"

Filled with tears, he brought his eyes up to meet Aquamarine's.  _How will you pay their prices?_

Steven's chest shook with a gentle sob. "I don't know," he whispered.

Aquamarine narrowed her eyes and turned her head tilting her ear to him, "What did you say?"

"I don't know!" Steven shouted at her, "But if you hurt her I promise! —" The ship's dark cabin flooded with blinding light bathing the walls in pink; the thunder that followed threw Aquamarine back in her chair and forced her to cling onto one of the arms. The lightning burst from Steven's shoulders and his back striking out into the air. Each crooked bolt flared outward from his body; the spiked ends crackled and shook in their attempt to break free, but just as he was shackled, so were they. As if realizing this all at once, each bolt, all together, like a mass of shimmering snakes, turned their heads instead toward Aquamarine. When they gave voice to their rage, the whole cabin quaked with a thunderclap as if what those shackles and Steven himself were holding back was a storm eager to rip this entire ship apart. It would toss all of them out of this prison into space if it had to to get the one thing it wanted. Aquamarine was quivering in her chair, her hand half raised to the ribbon on her head. The shackles on his arms were beeping frantically. In the flickering faces of those bolts, seething with hate, was what Steven promised.

But for the first time, he could see the fear in Aquamarine's eyes. Before there had only been mocking laughter and cruelty; a combination he could tell, like some dark imprint, had become accustomed to as quick as Jasper's anger was to rise. But this fear… it was no different than 8LG's. No different than gazing into her own destruction to the corrupting light. And he was always on the other side. He was, Tourmaline was, Pink was, the amber light was, destruction. And it wasn't what he wanted to be. Steven hung his head; he was too afraid of himself, too ashamed, to put words to the promise.

All at once, the bolts were dragged down Steven's arms to disappear underneath the shackles. The moment they were gone, the pain it left behind forced him to double over. Steven groaned and shuddered at the patches of hot skin under his clothes. It felt as if he had rubbed against the worst sunburn of his life. His chest rose and fell heavily. Finally, hesitantly, he turned his eyes to Aquamarine who was still staring at the bindings she had put on him. Her gaze slowly rose to meet his. He knew what she thought. He didn't know what these powers could do either — what they would do to get Peridot back. But he knew they would. And when he had her back again, he would have the answer to Aquamarine's question.

Bracing himself awkwardly with his shackled hands, Steven lowered himself onto the floor on his side. He curled into himself, his arms thrust out in front of him so that he had to fit them awkwardly between his legs. His back was to Aquamarine, exposed in strips and holes. Both his back and shoulders were red and blistered. He was sweating from the heat. The only thing that brought him peace was the cool air that his torn clothes let in. As he lay there, he almost wished he could take back that promise. But he knew he couldn't. Peridot was a price he could never pay.

Behind him, he could hear Aquamarine's chair squeak. After a long time, just as his eyes were becoming heavy, she spoke. "We will see who you really are soon," she said softly, "But I think it really is you, Pink."

* * *

"You are cleared for hanger bay four, your Advocacy. Holly Blue awaits your arrival."

"Just five more minutes, Amethyst," Steven muttered.

"Excellent." Another added. It was that voice that startled him out of sleep.

He opened his eyes picking his heavy head up from the metal floor. It was no bad dream that Amethyst was saving him from this time. Without much thought, he stretched, then he cringed expecting the pain from his blisters to flash again. But the heat was gone and the pain never came. The only thing that remained were two sore spots in the corners of his chest from having his arms squeezed together out in front of him like this for so long.

Steven rolled himself over so he could see what was going on. Aquamarine, with her wand poised, watched the screen in front of her. The image was a staircase that led up to a hallway, and it was growing closer as the camera panned in. The entire room was colored in different shades of pink. Topaz was behind Aquamarine, her hand firmly on the back of the chair, watching with indifference.

"Retrieve the Peridot," Aquamarine tossed over her shoulder. Steven sat up, and Topaz left, her blonde flat top hair was the last thing he saw bobbing down the stairs to the ships lower level. When he turned back to Aquamarine, she had already noticed that he was awake. She said nothing and waited for Topaz to return. With a gesture of her wand, the ship's hatch slowly lowered. Steven blinked his eyes and squinted through the new light that poured in. Just as his eyes began to adjust, a blocky hand clapped down on his arm. It dragged him to his feet and shoved him toward the ramp. He almost stumbled but caught himself. He glanced back at Topaz, but instead what his eyes were drawn to was the yellow bubble in her hand. Peridot's gem.

_Just hold on_  he told her through the aura link. He wasn't even sure if she could hear him from inside her gem, but he pushed it through that delicate thread anyway. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and raised his head high before taking the ramp. Aquamarine followed with her fluttering wings and Topaz with her heavy footfalls. The room they were entering seemed like a hangar. The walls were decorated in flowing lines that crisscrossed each other.

As he stepped down the ramp, Steven was the first person that Holly Blue saw. She stood above them at the top of the staircase flanked by two amethysts. Her delighted smile faded, and she tilted her head to the side as if looking at something quite unfamiliar but recognizing something in it. Then her eyes darted up and over his shoulder to Aquamarine. Her smile returned.

Steven had never seen an Agate, but Peridot had. He remembered them faintly from some of her memories. Her skin was blue like Aquamarines, and her hair was white and put up in two side buns that ended in points. She wore white thigh high boots like the higher ranking Hessonite on T7B, but her outfit was a dark navy uniform covered with a blue shawl. She had her hands clasped together in front of her showing her previous delight.

"Ah, what an honor." She saluted crossing her hands over her chest gracefully. The amethysts at her sides repeated the gesture clumsily. Steven smiled. He could almost recognize his amethyst in these two, the way they did that. "Your Advocacy, Your security, what do I owe this pleasure? Do you wish to add this human to the zoo? Blue Diamond would appreciate your contribution to this memorial greatly."

_Zoo? What?_  There were other humans here? A memorial for what? He almost spoke out but bit his lip.

Aquamarine's cold voice came from over his shoulder, "Dismiss your guards."

Holly Blue's smile never wavered, almost as if it was frozen in place, then all a sudden she turned to each of the amethysts and snapped, "Leave us."

Steven was sad to see them go. They were the only things familiar in this whole situation which was turning worse by the minute. They retreated down the hallway like kicked dogs. They didn't seem like guards at all. Not straight back and rigid like Jasper and this Agate. It seemed to him like the only difference between him, and the amethysts were the shackles.

"We have need for this station's facet scanner," Aquamarine said as soon as the guards were out of sight.

"For this Peridot gem?" Holly blue offered.

"Her's and another's."

Holly Blue's smile slowly faded into confusion, "... Another's?" Steven saw her eyes anxiously shifting between the two gems behind him.

"The leader of the rebellion."

Holly Blue's impeccable form broke for a moment. She brought a hand to her chest, "...You have Rose Quartz's gem aboard? I thought she was destroyed like all of the rest on… " She took the stairs down to them and stood in front of Steven not knowing that it was him they were even discussing.

Aquamarine flew over next to him and Holly Blue, "We don't know if it was a Rose Quartz after all. We need your facet scanner to determine the gem type and identity. Even as isolated as this station is, surely you must have a connection to the identification database."

Holly Blue looked lost for a moment. She turned her head away and stared off, "Not Rose Quartz," She looked back, "Who then? What type of gem? There are eye witness accounts of her deeds, gems that live now that saw her in battles. It would have to be Rose Quartz."

"You will not breathe a word of this until we have completed the scan," Aquamarine said. She looked to Steven and snapped, "Raise your arms."

Steven frowned, but he raised his arms. Aquamarine tugged up his shirt. Steven couldn't see anything with his arms and the shackles in front of his face. He heard a gasp, and the sound of something hitting the floor. He jerked his arms down so he could see. Aquamarine snatched her hand back.

Holly Blue was on her knees. Her diamond salute no longer graceful but shaking with the rest of her body in mute shock. In her eyes, tears began to form. It was as if he was no longer unfamiliar to her and she had placed him at last.

"My Diamond, stars above." She reached out to touch the hem of his tattered shirt as if it were divine. "You are still alive. My task given to me by Blue Diamond herself was to preserve your legacy. I've learned so much about you. Like the Verdant Grove on Homeworld where your throne was." She gestured around wildly. crying, "The designs here are to mimic the vines there and —"

Steven was speechless. He slowly started to smile.

"What are you doing?" Aquamarine hissed. She flew over and grabbed Holly Blue by her shawl and tugged upward, "Get up! Right now."

Holly Blue staggered to her feet and looked at Aquamarine as if she had gone mad, her mask of manners discarded. She stammered the words, "You have a Diamond in shackles?"

"It may not be her. I told you we had the leader of the rebellion. This could be a Rose Quartz trick, and Pink could still be shattered." Aquamarine grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it up so that what was left of his coat fell away, and the star underneath was revealed. "This is the traitor's star. If she is Pink, if she is a Diamond that fought a war against her own people wearing this star, the rebel leader who caused the deaths of untold numbers of gems, then you better thank me for these shackles." Aquamarine turned to him and looked him in the eye as she said, "It may be the only thing stopping her from shattering you, me, and everyone on this entire station."

Steven looked to Holly Blue, "I… I would never do… " But his eyes drifted back to Aquamarine, "...that." He lowered his voice and tried again, "I don't want to hurt any of you. I'm just trying to protect myself and the ones I care about."

Holly Blue looked desperate to believe him. "It's her." She told Aquamarine firmly. Then to Steven, "I can't understand why you've taken this form. But those eyes, that brow. It's you." She looked as if she wanted to reach out to him, but was afraid.

Aquamarine spoke up, "You serve our Diamond. Blue Diamond." She said it harshly as if she needed to remind her, "And if Pink has become her enemy than it is our job to confirm it by scanning this gem and delivering irrefutable evidence. I would be bound to bring Pink in to answer for her crimes. I don't like it any more than you do, but there has never been a traitor who was a Diamond. Pink has put us into this situation. We must act swiftly and decisively if we are to serve  _our_  Diamond to the best of our abilities and right now there is no greater threat to her or the empire than the gem you see before you now."

Holly Blue was listening, but she never turned her eyes away from Steven. He had seen that look, one he felt undeserving of, in Jasper.

"I am Pink Diamond," Steven said speaking only to her, "I need you to get these shackles off of me. I need your help." If she would just remove them, one body blistering blast to Topaz might get that bubble in his hands. Peridot was worth as many blasts as it would take, but he doubted his body could hold out for more than a couple. Then what? She reformed fast, but not that fast. He'd figure something out.

To his surprise, Holly Blue turned to Aquamarine, "Alright, but our scanner is down. Our station is remote, supplies can take a long time to reach us, we make do with what we have here and some of our facilities like the scanner, that has not been used since its construction, have been stripped down for necessary parts from time to time. I will have one of my own repair it, in the meantime, I can supply a containment room for your needs. If you wish, I can also store the Peridot gem with our others in storage until the scanner is ready."

Steven's heart sank. Aquamarine seemed relieved. She didn't even take the time to berate Holly Blue for the scanner being down, she only said, "Excellent." Her cruel smile flashed, "If this unpleasant business is resolved quickly, I will report your contribution to Blue Diamond myself."

Holly Blue turned quickly on her heel. She ascended the stairs, and Steven groaned when he felt that blocky hand push him again. He was getting tired of that. Holly Blue took the lead with Aquamarine behind her. She lead them down a hallway, and on either side, the walls were inlaid with bright white panes of glass as if they were windows. Underneath each pane were vine designs. In truth, they did resemble the ones in Pink's home on Homeworld, at least the one he had seen in his gem. They passed a large deep pink colored door designed with more vines and flowers. On either side were statues that had no gem placements. They were human statues. It was the first gem art he had ever seen that depicted the human form. It wasn't encouraging. Holly Blue had said zoo. There were other humans here. He couldn't imagine how or why that was supposed to preserve Pink's legacy.

They walked on until finally, Holly Blue stopped in front of a tall door. She pressed a few buttons on the panel beside it. The doors opened and inside was an empty room. Its ceiling and floor were silver, and its walls were light pink.

"This should suffice," Holly Blue said. She looked down at Steven, and her brow wrinkled, "The shackles won't be necessary in there. The room is designed for that."

Aquamarine was not happy to hear the suggestion, but didn't look as if she wanted to test their shaky agreement, "I'll remove them once she is inside. She'll put them back on for the scan and our departure."

Topaz shoved him into the containment room. The door closed. Steven walked over to one of the walls and slid down it. After a few minutes, his shackles let out a beep and demagnetized then unlatched and clanged to the floor. He winced and rubbed his wrists before rolling his sore shoulders. His hand immediately flew to his chest and there she was. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes and felt her through the aura link. She was moving away from him slowly. They were taking her to another part of the facility. But it didn't matter, if he could just get out of here, he'd follow that thread inch by inch back to her no matter how far.

He stood up and stretched, moving his arms side to side. He shook his hands to loosen up and when he was feeling better began to take stock of the room. He went around the whole thing carefully. The only feature he could find was the door. It had a panel next to it identical to the one on the other side. He tapped it. On the screen, five rows and five columns of weird looking shapes appeared. One of them looked like a banana, another a dumbbell, another a snake or squiggle. He picked a shape, and it became highlighted in green. He chose a few more before a big red X flashed and reset everything. He tried his luck again and again, but it was no good. It would take him forever to try all the combinations. If Tourmaline was here, she could have put her hand on the panel and told it to dance, and it would have made all those symbols partner up and spin around if she wanted. If Tourmaline was here… if Peridot was here… if she was just here. And it was all his fault. Peridot's gem in a bubble, all because he couldn't ask for her help even when he had asked her for it, told her he needed it. Maybe they'd still be here in this situation, but at least they'd be in it together. And that's what she had meant. She'd go through all of this with him if it meant staying by his side. But if he had let her, she would have been by his side in that reactor room too.

Steven blew out a breath. For the next hour or at least for what felt like one, he couldn't tell because there wasn't a clock, he roamed around the room testing it. He tapped all along the walls and the door, and when he got tired of tapping sometimes, he'd kick. Sometimes that would hurt his foot, and he'd stop for a while. He had sworn off the panel for only ten minutes before he was back at again playing it as hard as he had played Meat Beat Mania at Funland Arcade when it first came out. That big red X was worse than any game over screen. After a while he was worn out. The nap on Aquamarine's ship couldn't have lasted for more than a few hours. It must have still been 4 am. or close to it back on Earth if he had to guess.

He sat down next to the door and closed his eyes trying to think of a new idea. Anything at all. His breath became shorter and slower and before he knew it…

"Darn thing. Clunky, like everything else in this — wait, stars. It's already on…"

Steven sat straight up with a snort. He looked around dazed. There was no one in the room. Had the voice just been —

The ceiling cleared its throat. Steven rubbed his eyes.

"I am going to provide a chair. You have to sit in it before I come in," the voice said. It wasn't one he had heard before. It reminded him of Jasper's, but it wasn't raspy. It was smooth and soft. The floor underneath him rumbled, and from the center of the room, from no discernable panel that he could make out before, a blocky white chair rose and clicked into place. Steven scrambled over to it and felt along the edges of its bottom, but again there were no crevices.

"Please," the voice said.

He looked up and then back at the door. There wasn't a choice.  _You have to take your place._  Steven gritted his teeth, but went around and took a seat. As soon as he did, his hands and feet were shackled down by metal straps. He waited.

The door opened. The gem that came through it was a Jasper, but one very much unlike the one he knew. She was just as tall, but she was slender. Her hair was a very light blonde and shorter than his Jasper only reaching above her shoulders. She wore a dark navy uniform, but it wasn't a jumpsuit. She wore a tank top that bared her midriff. Her gem placement was the same as his, the belly button. On her arm was some sort of device. It was teal colored plating not even half an inch thick and only covered the outer part of her right arm. It went down over her palm, her thumb, and the first two fingers. In certain segments, he could see wires running underneath and small cylindrical tanks the size of D batteries.

The door closed behind her. In both her hands were layers of folded blue and white cloth. Resting on top were three purple shapes that looked all the world to him like apples. He didn't care about the color. Neither did his stomach. It growled. The jasper stopped and looked cautiously for the source of the growl.

"It's okay. I'm just hungry," he said.

"Holly Blue said that you might be. She saw you sleeping and thought you might have similar needs that the humans we have here do."

"Uh yeah." He was staring at the apples. His mouth was watering.

The jasper raised her arms higher so he could see better, "I also brought these garments. The Agate says what you are wearing is shameful." She grimaced. "Err shouldn't have told you that. I mean you're supposed to put these on instead.

Steven looked down at his clothes. He agreed, they were in a shameful state. Worst of all was his coat. Pearl had got it for him, and it was in shambles. Maybe he could put some saliva to it and repair it. There had been other pressing matters to think about besides how he looked though. The jasper set the bundle down for him and stepped away from it as if, since it was on the ground, she wasn't allowed to touch it anymore.

She smiled uneasily at him, clapped her hands over her gem, and wiggled her fingers, then remembering something, glanced back at the door. "I have to go find something to carry water in for you. So I'll be right back." She started toward the door but moved in jerky starts and stops. She looked to him and then back to the door, to him, then the door.

Steven looked up from the apples.

"Are you... " The jasper paused. She tugged at a finger. "Are you… " She spun around to face him and pulled at her collar with both hands. Her arms were pressed against her chest as if she was trying to hold back the question and pull it out of herself at the same time.

_Pink Diamond_  he finished for her.

She stumbled back and fell against the door as if suddenly he had broken all his bonds and grown three heads. Through practice and his permenent link to Peridot, it had felt like nothing to form a quick connection to her. The jasper was slapping her hand toward the panel trying to find it.

"Water!" she shouted, "I'll get some now!" She fell onto the panel and quickly poked twelve shapes out with her index fingers. He couldn't see what the combination was from the chair. Then she was tumbling out into the hallway and closing the door.

A few moments after she left, the bindings on the chair retracted allowing him to eat and change into the new clothes. It wasn't exactly what he had in mind. It was a blue vest and a long loincloth held together by a brown belt. Is this what the other humans here had to wear? Did the gems use them as servants? Peridot wasn't the only one he would have to break out. He wasn't leaving without them.

He plopped down in the chair and munched on his last purple apple, "Murry Chrishmush." He said with a full mouth to the room. At least the clothes were comfortable and the apples delicious. They were juicy and tasted almost like blueberries. He lined the apple cores up against the opposite wall from the chair. He would have just tossed them, but he figured that the jasper that had entered before would be the one cleaning them up and she seemed nice.

Soon she did return. Her voice came from the ceiling.

"Uuughhh," He could hear sloshing, "Chair please."

Steven was already there; it was more comfortable than the floor, but barely. He adjusted himself in the seat, and the chair strapped him in. The door opened, and she came in carrying a metal pitcher with both hands out in front of her. On her tank top, a dark stain was already beginning to dry.

"Thank you," he said.

She nodded without looking up and sat the pitcher where she had the clothes and food before. She stood over it silently with her hands clasped over her gem.

"Do you have a name? Something I could call you? I guess a gem designation?" Steven offered.

"Everyone… just calls me Skinny." She looked up, "You can call me that. If you like."

"Is it okay if you sit with me awhile?"

Skinny glanced at the door, "I think it might be alright."

_Is it okay if we talk?_

Skinny's eyes widened. He thought she might bolt again. But instead, she looked around carefully before finally sitting down on the floor in front of the chair.

_It's okay._

_I came in with another gem, a peridot. Do you know where she is? If she is okay?_

Skinny folded her hands in her lap.  _I know where she is. She's safe with the other gems that we have in storage._

_I need to get out of here. I need to reach her._

_Is it true?_ Skinny leaned forward.  _That you're the rebel leader? You're the one that started the war on Earth?_

Steven hung his head.  _It's more complicated than that. I am Pink Diamond, I have her gem, but I'm not exactly her._

Skinny eyed him doubtfully.  _How can you have her gem and not be her? I don't understand._

Steven scanned the room. How could he possibly explain all of this? But he would have to. This was the only shot of escaping that he could see right now. He glanced back at her.  _You have humans here. You must understand how they reproduce right?_

Skinny's lips parted. _I've seen it — I mean I didn't watch them!_  A deep blush burned her cheeks, and she turned her eyes away.  _Okay. Maybe I watched them like one time. So… I understand yeah._

_So you understand they have babies? They make more of themselves out of already existing humans. Well, that's why I'm part human. My mother was Pink Diamond. She reproduced with a human, and I'm her son, I'm not her. She passed her gem onto me, and she didn't survive the process. I don't have her memories; I only have her powers._

Skinny sat back on her hands, her mouth open. She was frozen for a few moments like that as she took it in. There was no one better to explain this to, Steven thought. She knew more about humans than most gems did. She had all the pieces. She just needed to put them together. Once it seemed like she had, Skinny sat up and gazed at him with fascination.  _I didn't even know gems could do that with a human._

Steven cleared his throat. It was his turn to blush. He thought of Peridot's hot arms around his neck. Her fingers getting lost in his hair, clutching it. Her shoulders moving up and down in front of him steadily. Her lips on his ear letting out a breathy moan. Steven swallowed.  _Usually, gems can't reproduce that way. Pink Diamond was special._

Skinny's eyes were downcast.  _If all this is true, then Pink Diamond is really gone. And she fought against us. Why did she do that? Didn't she want us?_

Skinny was looking down at her hands as if ashamed of herself.

He wished he wasn't strapped down so that he could have given her a hug.  _Of course, she wanted you all. But she didn't want you to serve her. She didn't start the rebellion to hurt gems. She started it to save them._

Skinny looked up at him, suddenly hopeful.  _Save us from what?_

Steven smiled.  _Let me tell you everything from the beginning._


	27. The Answer Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I planned for this chapter and next chapter to be one big one. But I felt like this part began to stand on its own so I decided to release it as I work on finishing the next part.

During the retelling, Skinny didn't say a word. She never interrupted or asked a question. When Steven told her how the beauty of Earth affected Pink when she first arrived, Skinny met his eyes and listened intently. When he spoke of Garnet's fusion, a furtive smile flashed across her face before she tucked it away. When he told of her how Pink had returned to Homeworld to beg the other Diamonds to see what she saw, Skinny turned away, her eyes slanting down to trace invisible shapes on the faded pink walls of his cell. He spoke about Pink's transformation to Rose, and her attempts to show the Diamonds by force. Skinny stared down at her hands folded in her lap. He told her of the corruption blast, the fate of all the gems left on Earth, and Rose living the rest of her life there with the only two gems she managed to save. Skinny held her face and shoulders lowered and listened. She kept her gaze pinned to her hands until he began to tell her about himself. It was only then that she slowly raised her eyes and watched him with a solemn but curious expression. Steven told her about 8LG, the Final Diamond, and about why one lone peridot gem in their storage should be so important to him.

When he finished, Skinny hugged one of her long legs to her chest, her dark yellow eyes searching his. He started to say something more, but she stood up abruptly. There was a faraway look in her eyes. He wanted to say something now, but he didn't know what he could say or even what he had planned to say before. He had been talking through the link to her for hours, and all that could be said had been. There was nothing left. He adjusted his hands under the chair straps. His wrists were sore. Around the edges, he could see splotches of red where he kept rubbing against the metal. Finally, Skinny came back from wherever it was she had gone, but Steven wasn't sure of what it was that she had brought back with her. Her eyes were staring down at the floor, avoiding his.

"She didn't start the rebellion to save us," Skinny said, breaking her silence at last, "She started it to save herself."

Steven watched her wordlessly. The aura link back to Peridot, the thread it had become, felt as if it were unraveling in his chest.

Skinny touched the blue diamond on her uniform wrinkling it underneath her fingers. "She got the life she wanted, and forgot all of us."

"No… No... " He tried to adjust himself in the seat, to sit up straighter, but the straps held him down, "She never forgot. She would never."

Skinny looked up and met his eyes, "Steven, that's what you are."

He looked at her desperately, confused, "What?"

"When humans reproduce they pass on parts of themselves, but never their memories."

Steven shook his head slowly, "No… I… I must not have explained it right. I told it wrong. She wanted… She hoped that… "

Skinny went over to him. She sat her hand gently on the back of his. He raised his eyes to her in a daze and moved his fingers against hers so that he could take her hand. There was no fear in her at what he could do to her like this. There was no reverence like there had been from Jasper and Holly Blue. In her eyes was sympathy. For a moment, she wasn't captor but captive.

She spoke softly, "You told me the truth." Her fingers broke away from his, and she turned her back to him. She went to the door and typed in the code to open it.

"Skinny! Wait…"

Her hand was on the open door frame as she leaned against it. She glanced back at him. Steven swallowed. He wet his lips trying to form the words that would be right this time. It was his last chance. But the words wouldn't come. He only managed to look after her, helplessly.

Skinny looked away, into the hallway, "Maybe that's all she  _could_  save, Steven. Herself."

Then she was gone. The door closed and the straps released. Steven crawled out of the chair and fell onto the floor on his hands and knees. He pounded his fists on the ground over and over and cried out. He squeezed his eyes shut feeling the hot tears cut pathways down his face. One last time, weakly against the floor, he planted his fist.

"They're going to shatter her if I can't do this." He let out a long, shaky breath. "My place... isn't on a throne."

_You have to realize the more you give of yourself, the less you have._  
_All she could save_  
_That's all  
_ _Herself_

"Why?" Steven whispered.

There was a noise in the hallway. He turned toward the door wiping at his face. Maybe it was Skinny. He held a breath and listened. Someone was coming. But it wasn't Skinny's boots. It was… heels on stone, but it couldn't be. He had walked that hall; it was metal. _clack… clack… clack… Clack… Clack…_

Without realizing it, his hand rose to his cheek and tugged. A need that wasn't his own stretched the skin taut. It was maddening. How slow it was. Each stab was enjoying the full luxury of time, of eternity.

Steven was breathing harder, his lip trembling, his fingers grasping desperately at the side of his face as he stared intensely at the door.  _Clack… Clack… CLack… CLack… CLAck… CLACK… CLACK… CLACK…_

Steven lowered himself down on all fours. The pink walls of his cell were shifting grey. He blinked his eyes. They were pink again. Blink. Now grey. Grey stone. The door panel disappeared. He blinked, but the walls wouldn't change back. He blinked hard and harder, but they stayed grey. Above his head was a descending darkness. He never took his eyes off the door. His hand swung out to grab onto the chair but swiped through the air hitting nothing.  _CLACK… CLACK… CLACK… CLACK… CLACK…_

A distressed, primal whine grew in his throat, and he issued it unable to understand what was so unbearable about these steps.

The darkness was slipping down to the floor like a wave. It brought exhaustion that crashed over him, drawing the energy out of his muscles. He sunk to the floor onto his stomach. It was no longer metal. It was stone. The coldness of its surface kissed his bare knees and shins. But at last, the clacking stopped. He released a sigh of relief and smiled weakly.

Beyond the door was a rustle of a long dress. His heart started to beat faster. Slowly, Steven raised his head to peer at the door through the cold darkness.

_Do you know now why it was wrong, my Starlight?_

The voice was firm, but sweet. It was his only way out of this room. She wouldn't come again for several rotations, he knew.

"I know that it was wrong…" Steven found himself saying hoarsely.

On the other side of the door came the clicking of her nails, then a slow tapping against the door in thought.  _Ah, but you must know_ _ **why**_ _it was wrong. You are a Diamond. Your every action, your every word, is what all other gems must measure themselves to. You don't want to teach them wrongly. You understand that, don't you, my little one?_  She tapped the tip of her nail against the door as she said 'little one' so gently, so lovingly.

He had to get out. The muscles in his shoulders and arms quivered as he forced himself to slap one palm down and then another and drag. His naked toes scrabbled against the stone behind him as he crawled toward the voice.

The sinking darkness had reached the floor. He could see nothing, not the door, or the panel that was gone, or the stone walls. He began to realize it had always been this dark. There was no light. It had been his memories, a sight that wasn't from his eyes but his fingers. It was the same tactile sight he would have had with Peridot in a dark room. He was used to the curves of her body, her shape, her movements, her texture. But somehow the knowledge of this room was more complete in his mind. He knew how Peridot's blonde hair felt, the strands prickling underneath his fingers as he brushed it, but somehow he knew the resistance of these stone walls against his prying hands better. He knew how Peridot's legs felt wrapped around his waist, how they locked so that her ankles crossed behind his back, but he knew how this cold floor felt against his body better. He knew the sound of her moans, her little noises of readjustment in his arms, but he knew the haunting silence of this room better. Steven reached the door. Feebly, he scratched at it, and like a lover, the room was familiar with him too. As his fingers scraped at the bottom of the door, his nails fell into accustomed notches and tracks in the stone.

_Tell me you understand._

He lifted himself to speak. The need to respond instantly was strong, but he held out trying to convince the voice on the other side of the door that with this pause, he was giving it a lot of thought, before finally saying in a voice as leveled and measured as possible, "I… understand."

There was a slow swish of her dress and a contemplative click of her nails.

_Only Pink Diamond must come out of this room. You must leave the imperfections here. They have no place out there._

Steven's head was sinking to the floor. That was it. She was going to let him out now. He pressed his cheek against the cold stone. It was over.

"Only Pink," Steven muttered, promising, his eyes half-lidded, "Only Pink… only Pink… only… only… "

His eyes shut.

* * *

Steven shot awake. He was huddled in the corner next to the door. His tattered clothes were there in a pile beside the chair, the chewed apple cores were still neatly stacked against the wall, and the water that Skinny brought was untouched. The walls were pink and the floor silver. But he found his hands clamped over his gem. He pried them away and stared at his shaking palms, curling and uncurling his fingers.

"Mom… "

The memories lingered like a sticky film on each finger that he couldn't wash away. They were cold as if pressed permanently against stone. Before there was a Rose Quartz to save everyone, to fight for everyone, there had been no one. To his dad, Tourmaline had said…

_There are so many gems out there like Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst that need my help,_

_No one is coming for them. I have to._

No one had ever come for her.

Steven slapped a hand against the wall, then his other. He hauled himself up, trying to throw off the exhaustion that did not belong to him. He stood, holding onto the wall, his arms shaking with the effort. He palmed at the tears that came again on his cheeks and swallowed hard fighting them off. He locked his eyes onto the door and with every shuffling step toward it, his strength began to return. He would try the panel again. If that's what it took. No matter how long.

Steven pushed off of the wall and stood on his own strength.

The door to his cell opened.

For a moment ( _only Pink Diamond must come out of this room_ ) Steven only stared at it. But was it real? He closed his eyes and ( _you don't want to teach them wrongly_ ) breathed deeply. He took another deep breath and let it out. Another breath, ( _please, Yellow, take me with you next time, to your new colony_ ) he let it out.

"It's not too late for them," he strained to whisper.

When he opened his eyes, the door to his cell was still open. He found his hand clutching the side of his face, but he pulled it away. He held his hands rigidly by his sides and deliberately, step by step, made for the open door. No one was coming through it. When he peeked out into the hallway and turned his head right to left, it was empty. Slowly, he smiled, and he couldn't suppress the laugh that half jumped from his chest coming out more like a hiccup.

As he stepped out into the hallway ( _Of course I'll take you. You've never asked before. We're taking my ship though. Don't even make that face._ ), it all left him at once. The heaviness, the coldness, the hands that shook as they tried to grope in the darkness. He could breathe easier. He was free. He didn't understand how or who, but it didn't matter. Steven brought his hand to his chest. Palm to skin, the aura link roared to life. He turned his head right; that was the way. He bolted. The thread was a chord again and hand over hand he was pulling himself toward Peridot as he flew down the hallway, his bare feet stamping on the metal. When the chord pulled him left, he went left, when it pulled him right, he went right. He was winding his way through this maze of corridors so quickly he could never hope to return the way he came. He wouldn't have to. Once he had Peridot, everything would be clear again. It would all make sense.

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL: A ROSE QUARTZ HAS ESCAPED CONTAINMENT. AMETHYSTS IN SECTOR G HEAD OFF ALL EXITS. It came from above his head.

It sounded like Holly Blue. She had called him a rose quartz, but not  _the_  Rose Quartz. The link tugged him left. He rounded the next left. His arms and legs were pumping, his chest heaving, but he wasn't tired the least bit, not even near winded. He felt as if he could do this all day. "Thanks, diamond. I hope this is you," he huffed.

The link pulled him right, and he skidded to the right and stopped. At the end of the hallway was an elevator with a pink door inscribed with vines and flower bulbs. In front of it were two amethysts with their whips at the ready.

"There!" One said with a gem on her left shoulder. Her face crumpled into a grumpy grimace as if capturing him was only a chore. She cracked her whip.

The other amethyst with a gem on her right shoulder cocked her head, "Is that what a rose quartz looks like? Kinda' funny."

"Nothing is going to stop me from getting to her," Steven said. He took off and charged straight for them. He brought his hands to his chest in a prayer motion as he ran and then he waved them outward. Following in the trails that his hands left behind, the pink shell of his bubble formed. It was already rolling with him as soon as it was completely shaped. He peddled the bottom while holding out his hands straight out on either side of himself. Both it and him were picking up speed, the droning of its rotation like a bowling ball down a lane. Its dimensions swallowed up most of the hall as it barreled toward the elevator and bore down on the two gems. The amethysts were backing away and turning to run.

"Look out!" The one with a left arm gem shoved the other amethyst out of the way. She crashed to the floor narrowly avoiding the reactive spikes that jutted out as soon as Steven's bubble slammed against the one that had saved her. The gem he hit poofed and clattered to the ground.

"Seekay!" shouted the remaining amethyst. She scrambled over to the gem lying on the floor and checked the facets for damage. Behind her, Steven waved his hand, and his bubble dropped. He slammed the "Call" on the touch screen panel before he realized that it had been in gem language. The elevator doors opened, and he got in. He turned back to the amethyst. She looked up to him and reached for the whip she had abandoned on the floor.

"She's going to be alright," he tried to reassure her. Her whip lashed out at him and with a pink flash of light, it bounced off Steven's summoned shield. His free hand reached for the panel. He didn't see which floor his finger landed on. The amethyst scrambled up off the ground and charged toward him. He raised his shield arm and tensed for the crash, but she slammed into the elevator doors as they closed.

Steven lowered his shield with a sigh. He looked to the panel. A virtual depiction of the elevator he was riding on was rising past numbered floors. He was going up. He wasn't sure why, but the floor he had selected felt right. The aura link was burning.

He put his forehead against the smooth door and listened to the hum of the elevator. "I'm coming, Peri," he whispered. The last time he had been on an elevator he hadn't been alone. It had taken him down to…

_Don't make me do this._

The speaker above his head crackled to life. He retreated from the door, glancing up at it.

THE ESCAPED ROSE QUARTZ IS RIDING ELEVATOR TWO IN SECTOR J. MOVE TO INTERCEPT.

From the panel, he could tell that he was about to reach the floor he had chosen. They would be waiting for him there. This was it. All those practice days with everyone in the sky arena. It was just him now. It would have to be enough to reach her because this was his only shot at saving both of them.

Steven closed his eyes and conjured up Peridot's face in his mind. Her mischievous blue eyes, her prickly blonde hair sticking up, her cute nose, the cocky smirk on her lips. All of this he held in his mind while his hands worked at tying both the front and back of his loincloth to his brown belt. Slowly, he began to levitate. He spread himself out flat and felt the ceiling of the elevator nudge his back. He smiled, his eyes still closed.

The elevator stopped. The doors whooshed open. Footsteps on metal paneling, fingers tightening against leather, a grunt.

"Impossible. Where did he—"

Steven opened his eyes. He dropped to the floor between two Amethysts landing on his hands and feet. With two sweeping motions, he weaved his bubble tightly around himself forming it quickly and expanding it outward until it popped throwing both of the gems against the walls poofing them. The cloud the both of them sent up filled the small elevator.

The two amethysts waiting outside of the elevator jumped back. Both of them lashed out at him with their whips. One missed. The chord cracked the air just past his ear and disappeared into purple smoke. But one hit her mark. Three leather straps tangled around his shield arm and squeezed. Steven stumbled out of the elevator as the straps dragged him out. He poofed his shield and summoned it in his other hand just in time to block another lash from the amethyst that hadn't got her hit in yet.

The amethyst that had him tethered kept pulling him farther and farther into the hallway. He grunted and planted his feet wide and firm. To his surprise, he wouldn't budge. She tugged, he leaned back against it, and with an awkward windup, he sent his shield flying into the amethyst trying yet a third time to hit him. His tethered hand, covered in black leather, swayed to the tugging amethyst until he could get his fingers on the whiptail. Finally, he grasped it resolutely, and pulled — a roar like rolling thunder built in his chest until he opened his mouth and let it out. The soles of the amethyst's boots were squeaking frantically as she was dragged toward him instead.

_You have the strength of a Diamond._

"aaaarrrgGGGHHHHH!"

Her eyes lit up in terror as he gave one last heave and lifted her off her feet. It sent her sailing into his awaiting shield. Her chest bounced off the blunt edge, and both her and the whip poofed away. Steven spun to the last amethyst. Two whip tails twisted around both of his arms. The last amethyst held both in her hands and tugged. Steven stumbled and fell forward onto his knees. His shield slipped from his fingers. His head jerked up. He grabbed both tails. He could feel the surge of energy tingling his skin and tightening it even before the pink sparks began to generate. The serpentine tendrils of lightning rose up again in their instinct to protect him and struck forward slithering down the chords. They jumped from his bare arms leaving red branching patterns on his skin down to his hands. The amethyst on the other side convulsed. Each spikey lock of white hair on her mane stood on end and shook with her.

"zzzZZZ Ugg Ugg Ugg Ugg ZZZzzz." She sunk to the floor and poofed.

"Owww Owww," Steven muttered, wincing at his arms flashing pain. He shook them in an attempt to stop them from twitching. Then came the burn. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. There was no time to wait for the regeneration. He had to get going. Then, another thought. His eyes shot open, and he scrambled over to the gem he had shocked. He scooped her purple gem up into his hands and flipped it over checking for any damage. There was none he could see. He gave it a lick just in case. He stood up and hurriedly went to the other poofed gems and without checking them licked each one.

Now that the fight was over, Steven realized that the hallways on this floor were huge. They were Diamond sized. He put his palm to his chest and checked the direction of the aura link. Without hesitation, he took off again. He wasn't as tall, and his strides didn't cover the same distance as the ones a diamond would have taken. It all made it seem slower. He was so close, but the time it took him to reach each new turn was driving him crazy. There were so many small doors that he was passing by that were meant for the other gems. Ones that a diamond would never, or should never notice. Servants scurrying behind the walls propping all this up for them. And behind those doors and walls? Nothing that was not for a diamond. All metal, color codes, and sharp geometry. It was a place built to honor Pink's memory, but in its design, it only served to show how much the other Diamonds misunderstood her. This poor imitation was all they could make of her — encasing her style in this shell of steel so that it could hold her favorite toys. This was the world that Pink and Peridot had come from, beyond his sun and moon, from that darkness.

At last, after rounding the next corner, he drifted to a stop and tilted his head back, his eyes moving up steadily to take in the size of the door that presided over the end of this hallway. A pink diamond was engraved on the bottom of the door, and sprouting from it as if it were a seed was a rose. Steven put his hand to his chest. Peridot was just behind there.

A steady, droning hum caught his attention. It was coming from behind him, coming from the way he had just been. Steven made for the door and the panel that was on the wall next to it. The hum turned to a buzzing. It was close. He glanced over his shoulder and summoned his shield. Four black flying cones whizzed around the corner and zeroed their blue mechanical irises on him. Steven reached the panel, put his back to it, and shifted his shield into a tower shield. The cones took up a firing position all in a row just as he was hefting the bottom of the shield down to the floor. The robonoids fired in succession. Through the transparent surface of his shield, Steven could see the blue orbs of energy pelt against it and dissolve. Ducked down behind the pink barrier, he held it steady with one hand and with his other fumbled with the panel.

"Gem identification required." Steven strained to hear the words over the charging of the blasts and the sound of them slamming into his shield. He twisted his body awkwardly toward the panel while still trying to hold onto the shield. He grabbed at the cloth hiding his gem and pulled it to the side. The panel lit up, and a slim wave of light carefully scanned his gem. After a few moments, the door behind him began to slide open.

"Welcome, Pink Diamond."

Hunched, Steven backed slowly into the dark chamber, his arm rocking steadily against each energy blast. Once inside and out of the doorway, he poofed his shield and went for the panel on this side of the door. His finger jabbed at the commands "Close" and "Lock" on the screen and only then did the sound of firing robonoids become silent. Steven let out a long sigh.

From over his shoulder, a pink shadow loomed. His hand, pressed against the wall beside the panel, glowed as if dipped fully into a well of pink light. He turned around to face it and froze.

Hundreds of Rose Quartz gems. Hundreds of them floated in pink bubbles forming the branches of a flowing tree. Above the crown of the bubble tree, the room's light source filtered through its leaves turning it and everything else pink. The bubbles thinned down into a slender wispy trunk. It was surrounded by columns and beneath it sat a pillow made for the size of a diamond.

It didn't make any sense. Why were these all kept here? It was surreal seeing the bubbles, ones that he hadn't made with his own hands. In his gem, he had walked the halls of the real Verdant Grove on Homeworld. Before he was born, Pink's hands had tended to each plant there: growing it, grooming it, sustaining it with her presence. No single leaf was without her tender touch. And once, she had stood in this very room shaping each branch each leaf of this pink tree one bubble, one imprisoned gem at a time. It had seemed like his life had been like that. Her planting seeds, and everywhere he turned were her fingerprints in the soil.

But among the plans, among the secrets, among the lies, among the leaves, was Peridot's green gem shining out defiantly in that carefully crafted design. Steven smiled. The aura and his heart warmed together. She was the leaf untouched. In the design of his life, she had been the unaccounted for, the chaotic force. Pink was right about Peridot being his focus, but wrong about why he needed her. It wasn't about the powers of a diamond. Like this tree, he liked himself better when filtered through her green light. Tourmaline was a prism of amber; she was a wide-eyed girl who trekked straight through the brush, never looking at where her feet went, dodging around trees that had no names, smiling up toward a new homeworld sun and blinking when it passed over her eyes. She was Peridot's hand squeezing his and tugging him ever deeper down that detour, and every step they took together was one that Pink Diamond had never taken

_No gem is my enemy. I won't fight like them like they are._

Steven's gaze lowered to his hand striped with branching lightning scars. Gradually, they were fading away to his regeneration. He ascended the stairs to the pillow and the base of the bubbles. With a quick hop, he levitated toward Peridot's gem pushing all of the pink bubbles aside until at last hers was in front of him. He squeezed it, and her gem fell into his hands. Both of them glided to the floor. He got down on his knees and held her gem in both of his hands. His thumb passed over the glassy surface.

Steven waited. On Earth, she had reformed quickly. She was faster than even Amethyst. He waited longer, but now, there was nothing, not even a glimmer. He leaned closer to her gem, his shoulders slumping, his head hung. "I can't do this without you," he whispered, "Garnet was right, and I tried, and I don't want to."

Her gem sat cradled in his hands dark and dormant. Steven gazed around at all of the other gems above them twinkling, the sheen of their bubbles casting rays through the branches. He stood up and tipped his hands forward, carefully dropping Peridot's gem on the pillow. With another hop, Steven floated up and came back down with one of the pink bubbles in his hands. He hesitated before squeezing it. These gems, they could help him; they could be the way off this station. But what if he released this one and the gem that formed looked just like his mom? His fingers squeaked against the bubble as he considered it. What if this gem, what if all of them, sounded like her. What if they all had her voice? His grip became tighter. What if his mom had imprisoned them all for a good reason like the ones in the burning room? One of his fingers slipped piercing the shell, and with a pop, the Rose Quartz gem fell to the floor in front of him and shattered into pieces.

"NO!" Steven collapsed to his hands and knees, the shards slipping through his fingers as he tried to collect them. "No no no no… wha… "

Steven stopped. He rubbed a shard between his fingers. It wasn't glassy and heavy as Peridot's gem was. These shards were… fake. His eyes shot up to the other gems above the two of them. He let the shards fall from his hand as he brought his palm to his chest and called for the aura to reach out. He set his eyes on one of the gems, the chord went out, but fell away latching onto nothing. He looked to another, but again the link hit nothing. To another and another. On the other side of the link was an eternal silence. None of them were real. One by one, Pink had sent up lies, shaping this tree branch by branch and leaf by leaf. He and Peridot were utterly alone in this room. The rose quartz gems continued to sparkle over their heads.

Steven sat back. He stared at the pink shards on the floor.

"I don't think anyone truly knew you."

He looked back to the green gem lying quietly on the pillow. The link to her was strong and burning steadily. Steven stood up and went over to her, her gem making the slightest of depressions on the silk with its small weight.

"I'll never leave you again. If you won't come to me, I'll come to you."

The silk of the pillow was hard to grab onto, but he managed to hoist himself up next to her. He sat down in the meditation pose Garnet had taught him and closed his eyes. This time he didn't push a message through, not a feeling, not a thought, but everything, all of himself through the link. He started to drift off immediately as if to go to sleep. He was tilting back, falling over. It was too late to catch himself. He never felt his head hit the pillow.

* * *

"But I just got onto the blue team. I asked to be a part of it. I can't just swap now, especially two days before the tournament."

"C'mon Percy. You're the best swimmer the camp has. You think you have a shot at winning with Paulette?

"Pierre… It's not always about winning."

"You're right… it's not."

"What are you saying?"

Steven opened his eyes. He was standing in his own living room. He looked down at himself. It was his normal blue jeans. He balled his t-shirt in his hands bringing it up to his nose and took in a big breath. It even smelled like home. The TV screen was flashing from his bedroom. The bedclothes on his bed were all were drawn into a rumpled hump at the end. Sticking out of the blanket cave was only a tip of blonde hair. Steven smiled, and he felt his eyes wanting to tear up. He went over and took the stairs up to his bedroom slowly, his hand gliding along the wall, each board under his bare feet creaking.

Steven reached the top of the stairs. It was sunny and snowing gently outside his bedroom window. He glanced from the TV to the bed. The blankets stirred, and the strands of blond hair wavered.

"I can't leave blue team, but I want to."

As Pierre answered, Peridot said the words along with him, the sides of her cave drawing in closer. "Then do it for me."

"I don't think we would be good teammates."

"But you said you wanted to," Pierre and Peridot replied

On the screen, Percy looked away and said nothing. He walked away leaving Pierre alone at their secret meeting place in the woods. The next scene switched over to Paulette. The blankets shifted as Peridot's hand left the safety of her cave and reached out for a mug sitting on the corner of the bed. She held it up and tilted it toward her. There was a sigh from inside the cave. With labored movements, she shrugged the blankets away. Her stocking covered toes dipped down to the floor, and she hauled herself up. Peridot hadn't noticed him, she was staring down at her chocolate stained mug mournfully and coming around the side of the bed.

She walked right into him, her face bumping into his chest, the mug hitting him in the arm, her stockings sliding on the floor. Steven caught her by the arms. She clung to him to prevent herself from falling and stared up at him, then she jerked herself from his grip and stumbled away.

She was eyeing him up and down in shock, "You can't be here…" She squeezed the mug against her chest and turned away as if to keep him from taking it from her, "This is my…" She avoided his eyes, and when she glanced in his direction, she kept her eyes lowered as if he had caught her naked and was embarrassed. "How… " Her face scrunched up, and she banged the cup down on top of the TV. "I don't want to know."

"Peridot… "

"You've learned a new power without me again." Peridot crawled back onto the bed and collected the blankets around herself. "Wherever I am, I must be safe and away from everything that matters. Just move my gem to the burning room. I won't get hurt in there."

Steven sat down beside her. She yanked at the blankets, but they wouldn't move with him sitting on them. She stared forward at the TV deliberately.

"We're not back on Earth, Peri," Steven said softly.

Peridot stared ahead, wrinkling her brow, "I'm sure you have it all in hand."

"We're on a station with Aquamarine, Topaz, an agate, a whole lot of amethyst and jasper gems, and a bunch of killer robonoids. We're trapped in a storage room full of fake rose quartz gems. There's only one entrance, no exits, and all of them know exactly where we are."

Peridot stopped staring forward. She peeked at him from the corners of her eyes before her head slowly turned to him. "Oh." She tugged at the blankets again, but they still wouldn't move. She gave up and watched the snow fall outside through the window. "So I'm all you've got, your last option."

"I came here first," Steven said. Peridot's hand was planted firmly in the covers with her fingers splayed. Her slender arm was locked in defiance showing her shoulder to him, and the corner of her blonde hair frayed scruffily at the end. He set his hand on her warm, green one. "I failed you," he said.

Her shoulder twitched, and her arm bent, "Don't… don't say that."

"Why?"

"Because I'm mad at you."

"I'm sor—"

"No. I don't think you are!" She turned almost to him, and then stopped, not meeting his eyes. She crossed her arms and hugged herself. "You'll keep doing it. You'll keep leaving me behind. And it's because... " Her eyes welled up. She bit her lip not wanting to voice it. She stared at the TV screen, but it could no longer distract her. It was only figures moving and voices unheard. Her eyes were darting. Peridot sucked in a breath, "...you know I can't do it, so you won't even let me try. You could fuse with anyone else and be stronger." The tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Don't you think I already know that? You don't have to lie to me and ask me for my help to make me feel better. You don't have to take me to the grove and pretend to learn your own powers with me. Just go there. You'd learn it faster without me. I know you would. Just… just like this power." She looked up at him. Her blue eyes were wet, but there was no spite in them, only a vulnerable sincerity that shined at him as her gem had amongst all those pink bubbles. "The Final Diamond is a Diamond. It's you. It's always been you."

Steven took her hand in both of his and put it in the center of his chest where the aura link burned steadily. He held her hand there, and she tried to smile, but the effort broke her into choking tears. She shuddered and covered her eyes with her hand, but with the other, she pressed it to his chest so that he no longer had to hold it.

"I know you can do anything, Peri. I'm not afraid of you failing. I'm afraid of losing you. All of my life everyone just wanted Rose Quartz. Now they want Pink Diamond. My destiny changes, but I always seem to have one." Steven rubbed her hand on his chest and lowered his head as if to cradle it. "But then you came, and you're the only one that wanted Steven. If you go away, who will see me without this gem anymore? I just want everyone to see me the way you do. I never feel myself unless you're looking at me, unless I'm really being myself, through Tourmaline."

Peridot stared at him, her lips parted but speechless, blinking tears. Steven moved closer to her, and she reached out for him, but wasn't prepared when he sunk into her arms. She almost toppled backward. She struggled and held on, and with a whine straightened up.

"I know you don't want to forgive me. I know I hurt you. I... " His voice hitched. When he felt Peridot's arms gently slide around his neck, he threw everything down that he had carried while running here to her. In this place, with her, he didn't have to stand out in front of everyone with them looking to him for all the answers and the enemies that grew larger by the day on the other side daring him to make a mistake. He was the one that had to keep them all back. The shield that could let not one thing slip past and get to them. Peridot hugged his head as he buried his face against her chest. Her small features: her nose, her lips, her cheeks, her fingers pressed into his hair; it was the only thing that could make the memories of that room shrink away. The clicking of nails, the clacking of heels waning in the darkness because Pink had not been able to convince her each and every time.

"…I saw something," he whispered up to Peridot, "through my mom's memories. And somehow I've always felt it, I've always known it, but seeing what it was, was different. It's bigger than just the two of us. And my mom… she lost, she lost to her before she even began the war. I don't know how I'm supposed to protect us from something like that. I don't think I can."

"You don't have to do it alone, Steven. Let me help you. Isn't that what you want? What you asked of me?" Her breath was warm and soft against his forehead. She kissed there, her lips lingering as if to promise him more. "Even if we lose, let it be together."

Steven was quiet for a moment before his muffled reply vibrated the front of her uniform where her star was, "You're the only one that ever asks me that."

"Asks you what?" she murmured.

"What I want," he said.

There was a thoughtful pause while her fingers played against the side of his head, ruffling, driving through, then smoothing down what she had done and repeating it all over. His head rocked along to the gentle rise and fall of her chest underneath him, and for a moment he wished he could stay here with her in her gem a little while longer. But he knew he couldn't. His body was out there just as vulnerable as her gem with the two of them lying together side by side on that pillow. Then, finally, she said, "You're the first person that ever asked me."

Steven moved up so he could look her in the eyes. Both of them were teetering on the edge of his bed. She glanced down and readjusted herself with a nervous wiggle in his arms. When her eyes returned to his, they were gazing back at him again with that piercing sincerity. That desire to be the answer. And he was afraid. Afraid that one day that look would be gone forever and no one would ever be able to replace it. He squeezed her around the waist and told her, "I want you with me no matter what happens." He bowed his head between them, "Will you forgive me?"

Peridot answered with a tilt of her head and a solemn nod. She brushed a lock of curly hair away from his forehead. When he felt like he could stand to be looked at her like that again and not feel quite so guilty, he raised his head to see a faint smirk on her face. It was the expression of her that he had conjured in the elevator.

"Aquamarine, Topaz, the agate, the amethysts, the jaspers, they all think they know who we are already." She set her arms on his shoulders, and leaned forward, her face close to his. Her gem began to glow, bathing him in green light. "Let's show them who we really are."

He smiled. As Steven moved forward, Peridot felt herself slipping off the edge of the bed. His weight on her had finally thrown them both off balance. She clung to his neck as they began to roll carrying the blankets with them. She felt his warm lips press to hers, but they never reached the floor.


End file.
